Never Is A Promise

I woke to the sun shining in my window and a knock on my door I opened my eyes. Harry was standing in the doorway holding breakfast for me. I sat up against the headboard raising an eyebrow at his actions. “Yes Harry?”

“I brought you breakfast.” He said walking in to sit on the bed.

“I can see that.” I laughed.

“So you had cancer?” I nodded. “And it might be back?” I nodded again “Why didn’t you tell me?”

I sighed “Because people change how they treat you when they find out.” I said picking at the food on my plate. “ I didn’t want you all to treat me like I’m breakable or be changed while I went through my treatment. Watching someone you care about go through all of that can take its toll.” I said, taking a breath before letting out a laugh it was time to connect the dots, “Hell when I was first diagnosed my family and I up and left town in a weekend and left everyone behind.” I paused looking up to see Harry’s eyes darken; he was remembering when I’d left, good let him figure it out.

“Why?” He asked looking up at me he hadn’t caught it yet, damn I’ll have to hit closer to home.

“I didn’t want to put my friends and boyfriend at the time through that. I couldn’t make them sit there unable to do anything but watch me get sicker and sicker” Harry put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed gently as I leaned sideways into him “I just couldn’t do it, I didn’t want my suffering to change them especially when all odds were against me.” I said Harry nodded for a second then stopped and scrunched up his nose pulling his eyebrows together. I hoped he understood deep down that I was explaining why I left and what had happened when I left.

“What do you mean?” Harry asked.

“When the cancer was found it was stage 4 leukemia. I went through everything but none of it helped and the cancer continued to spread into lymphoma I had 3 months to live tops, everything in my body was shutting down, when they suggested a quite extensive and experimental surgery. Basically replace all the parts of my body that had cancer and then hit my system hard with chemo, they transplanted 4 organs took out parts of 3 others and switched out 10 bones that had infected red marrow and 4 lymph nodes. The surgery had a slim chance of working and if it did I only had a 50:50 shot of living. It was my only option to have a chance at life. I wrote letters to everyone I’d left saying I was sorry and that if they got the letter I’d died.“ I explained looking down, I couldn’t get much closer than that, but I had to finish.

“You and Mick are so similar she did the same thing but…”

“Shh Harry, let me finish.” He nodded letting me wipe the tears from his cheeks. “I flat-lined 4 times during my surgery but I kept coming back, during one of those time though, my letters were sent, everyone I knew and loved thought I was dead.” I whispered, looking up at Harry waiting for his response waiting for him to put the two together I froze as I looked at his face… it hadn’t clicked… I had just told him everything and lead him right to his answer and he still didn’t see it.

“I wish I could say the same for Mick,” he whispered. “Now eat. We don’t want you going anywhere.” He said pushing the food toward me.

I ate as much as I could; still shocked he hadn’t gotten it. I really wished I hadn’t eaten as much as I did since, as always, about an hour later I was throwing it up in the bathroom while Aly held my hair. “How about we go to the beach today it’s the last day of the Europe tour,” She said.

“Yeah and you deserve to have some fun, after everything you’ve done so far.” Liam said from the door causing us both to jump.

“Good God Liam we thought you were off with the other boys.” I exclaimed slumping into the bathtub next to the toilet.

“I was, the rest still are but Harry was throwing a fit and wanted someone to check on you ever since you’d been gone for 2 minutes.” Liam said rolling his eyes.

“This is why I never told him to begin with cause he’d change into something he’s not, I can take care of myself I don’t need him to shadow me to make sure I’m still breathing every second of the day.” I growled, as my stomach turned causing me to dry heave over the toilet again. “Aly can I have some water?” She nodded filling a glass as Liam shook his head.

I took the water nodding to Aly as Liam sighed, “Can you blame him? He lost you once, now he’s grabbing on every way he knows how to make sure he doesn’t have to go through this again.”

“I know, I’ll talk to him.”

“After you tell him though right?” Liam pushed. I nearly growled in frustration.

“I did! I lined up the dots in order and connected most every single one,”

“Except the one to you.” Aly stated. I nodded “How well did you connect the dots Micky?”

“I told him I left everyone I knew and loved behind in a weekend, I told him why, I told him about the cancer and the surgery, the letters I wrote to be sent to everyone I loved if I didn’t make it.” I said turning back to heave up the water I’d just managed to choke down, Aly took the cup and refilled it again once I was done.

“But you never told him they were sent.” Aly finished.

“Normally I wouldn’t, no. But I told him, I told him I flat lined 4 times and they got sent during one of them!” I cried, “I told him everything and he didn’t connect it!”

“I think he did, but he’s denying it.” Liam said quietly from the doorway. “With that the case though he’s a ticking time bomb, as soon as something happens to connect that last dot fully he’s going go ballistic.” Liam said I nodded standing up and swallowing down the dry heaves.

“Well lets’ hope that’s sooner rather than later, and while he’s on good terms with me, while Darren isn’t in the picture.” I said brushing down my short dress that was covering my swimsuit.

Aly and Liam nodded as we headed back to the meet and greet with the boys. I tossed Liam a bag as we walked out “What is this?”

“You had to have disappeared for a reason.” I said as he looked into the bag pulling out three of the hundreds of lollipops, we each took one popping it in our mouths.

“You are really good at this job,” Liam laughed as Aly nodded.

“And sweeter than a lollipop to all the fans.” She added, “I’ve nearly strangled a few myself.”

“You’re dating Niall, it comes with the territory, and I’m not dating one of them despite what everyone seems to think.” I said sticking my tongue into my cheek causing the other two to double over laughing.

“Yeah not much can be said about that behind closed doors” Liam laughed.

“Hush we are getting close enough for others to hear.” I laughed pushing his arm as my face turn pink.

As we reached the table Harry was up out of his seat with his arms around me in a second “Hey are you ok?” he asked rubbing down my arms and back. “Did the breakfast I brought you upset your stomach? Are you tired do you want to sit down? Have some water? Food?...” he rambled on as the other started laughing.

“I’m fine Harry.” I yelled having finally snapped with all the questions causing everyone but Liam and Aly to jump. “This is why I never told you, or wanted to tell anyone cause everyone changes into a different person after they hear about it! You worry about me all the time and I never have my own space, I get that you’re scared and worried but imagine what I’m going though right now I’m just as scared and confused and I don’t need the people I use to anchor myself coming undone. I need you to just be you, and I’ll take care of myself” I finished quietly my voice lowering for the yell it had been at the start. I took a deep breath shaking my head “Now finish up here I want to go to the beach!”

Notes

Sorry updates have been slow i'm back in school so its difficult to get everything done.

Make sure you go vote for Never Is A Promise in the summer fanfiction awards!!!!