THE DEATH OF ME

"So what would you be having?" I look at his fellow friends.
"What's your name love? You're new aren't you?" One of them says.
"I ah.. yeah.. so anything?" I try again, feelings Ben's glare on me.

"I want to order a name! Or a dance, it could be both really," The one closer to me claims, and I take a few paces back, thinking this was a bad idea. I should have never come to work here.

"All right lads. Let's calm down, why don't you go to table 5? They want another round and I will finish up here," Dami appears by my side, her sweet smile plastered on her face as she steps in front of me. I breathe her a 'thank you' as I recoil and turn to table number 5, which a couple was seated at.

I try my best to keep away from Ben's table, Demi switching tables with me for the rest of the night.

I notice the change in her eyes when she takes care of Ben and his friends. Even though her smile is kept intake, her eyes go cold, losing any warmth they had in them. It seems as if she knows exactly who she is dealing with.

"Cass, come here," Louis calls me over.
I pad up to the bar and lean over to hear what he has to say.
"Harry called saying he will be waiting outside for you in 5, you did well today, I'll see you again Friday night at 22:00, this is your cut for today," He hands me over a bundle of bills.
"Wow! T-thanks," I look up at him.
"I'll see you on Friday," He winks turning around to Demi. I go and get my bag, before heading out to meet Harry.

I almost collide with Demi at the door, as she too was heading out, finishing her shift.
"Well done girl!" She high fives me giggling as she fishes her car keys out of her bag.
"Thanks," I smile, her own smile contagious.

"All right Demi?"
We turn to see Harry leaning on his bike, holding two helmets.
"Styles! I was about to offer your girl here a ride, though I should have known you'll be waiting for her," Demi walks over to him, kissing his cheek as she swats his arm playfully.
"How was she?" Harry's cocky smile is back as he glances at me before turning back to Demi.
"She is amazing! You should have brought her sooner," She exclaims, making Harry wink at me.

"She just needs to smile slightly more, but yeah, she's all right," He taunts me.
"Well, I guess I'll see you Friday night," Demi winks before turning.

"Hey Demi! I just wanted to thank you for taking over that sod's table," I stop her.
"Sure, I know what that nitwit is capable of, don't worry about it," She waves before getting into her car.

"Thanks for-" I turn back to Harry but shut up when I see his face.
His eyes are dark, and the look on his face would have made me run and hide if I didn't know him already.

"What?" I question, promising myself I am not scared of him.
"What sod's table?!" He snaps.

"Don't snap at me! Ben and a bunch of his ass wipe friends came in and sat at one of my tables, but then Demi exchanged tables with me so I wouldn't need to deal with them," I shrug.
"I thought I told you to call me if something like this happened!" He raises his voice.
"Nothing happen," I roll my eyes, annoyance boiling within me.

"But it could have!" He sounds like a two year old.
"So? Shit happens Harry! You can't be there for everything! I can take care of myself!" I yell back at him.
"No! No you can't!" He sneers at me.

I send him a cross glare before walking away from him, deciding to walk home.
I am not used to people telling me what to do or how to act, so I am far from open to people screaming and yelling at me for no reason. I will not have it.

"Where the fuck do you think you are going?" Harry yanks me back by my arm.
I push him off of me, trying to resume my pacing, when he grabs both my arms trapping me in place.

"You answer when I ask you a question!" He barks.
"Like you answer mine?! Get off of me! Don't touch me!" I shout at him, my anger level is as high as his.

"What is your problem?" He slightly shakes me before letting me go, and I step back.
"You are!" I answer, rubbing at my wrists where his palms held me a little too tight.
"Where do you think you are going?" His voice is still loud but not as loud as it was.
"Home! Without you!" I hiss turning again.

Once again I feel him stop me. But this time he wraps his arm around my waist in a much softer way.
"I told you I don't want you walking by yourself! That is why I came to take you home!" He says in a quieter voice.

"That is your problem! You think you get to tell me what to do! Well you don't! I don't need you looking over your shoulder for me all the time! I will walk on my own if I feel like it and I won't call you every time something you might think I can't handle comes my way! I am not crippled! I can do things on my own! And if you can't understand that and honor it then we won't work!" I inform him.

Harry seems as if I just slapped his face.
I take a step closer to him, taking his hands in mine.

"I am no good when I am hovered over, I will suffocate," I say softly, looking up into his eyes, which were back to their pretty green, the anger no longer in them.

"I suffocate you?" He questions in a low voice.

"Well, no.. but if you continue like this you will, I am not used to people being with me, and telling me constantly what to do, and I will not let you yell at me that way," I whisper. His gaze leaves my eyes, and I follow it down to my wrists where his fingers are travelling, tracing the red marks he left moments before.

"I'm sorry… I forget you are different… You seem so quiet and fragile, so easy to push around and manipulate," He sighs.

"That's what you want? to push me around?" I crinkle my nose, hurt.

"No, but that's what I'm used to, I want you because you are different," He explains.
This is the closest I was to Harry since I met him a few weeks ago. Standing this way face to face, holding hands as he looks down at me when I raise my face to see him.
Even though he slept over last night, he really did sleep on the couch, we talked about taking it slow, knowing I am new to this, so we were working our way through it slowly, taking our time, making sure I am comfortable.

Harry lets go of my hands then, shifting back.
"Do you want to walk home on your own then?" He questions.
"No, not if you're here already," I roll my eyes but smile, which makes him smile too. He links our fingers as he walks us back to his bike.

I am confused with my fillings towards him right now. Even though we agreed taken this slow, this is kind of moving a little fast for me, and it feels like a rollercoaster ride that is quite out of control. The mood swings he has our something unexplainable, and I am amazed that I was even able to bring him back from his outburst.

Truthfully I didn't know I had it in me. I have never needed to scream back at someone this way before, never being in a fight before- a side effect of having no friends.
I get on the bike and Harry drives us to my house.

"So other then Ben, how was it today?" Harry starts once we are off the bike, and walking up to my front door.
"All right I guess, Louis was surprisingly pleasant, I think I can do this job thing there, I like Demi," I smile slightly.

"I see that, and I can see she is teaching you to smile more which makes me like her even more," He gives a little chuckle.

We step into the house and I sit myself on the couch, my feet tired from the standing and walking around.

Harry sits down beside me, picking up my feet to his lap, and starting to undo my laces.
I watch him carefully, as he slips a shoe after another off my feet. When his hands touch the bottom of my right foot I pull away.

"What's wrong?" He furrows his brows.
"I hate when my feet our touched," I explain, biting my bottom lip.
"Oh," Harry's smile is full of mischief.
"NO! Get away!" I screech when he gets hold of both my feet in a tight hold, tickling the bottoms.

"This bothers you? Really? Good to know?" He laughs as I swat a pillow over his head, inching towards him to try and free my feet.

Harry takes a hold of my wrists again, but this time his touch is soft and playful, not like outside the shack. He pulls me closer to him, and my nose is almost touching his, when I stop moving and just stare at his eyes, noting the different greens combine together, Harry is watching me, moving his face closer to mine until our foreheads touch. His fingers glaze over my cheeks, and I can't move, nor do I want to. My breath catches when Harry brings his lips to my nose, leaving a soft kiss on the tip.

His fingers trace lazily down my neck to my throat and up to my chin. A soft smile plays on his lips, and I know my cheeks are pinkish. My skin is sizzling from his touch, leaving me wanting more from him, not knowing I could even feel this way, making me forget I wanted things to go slow. I wonder if he can hear my heartbeat the way I can, as if my heart is shaking the whole house with its strong banging across my ribcage.

He brushes my hair back, and then brings his lips to mine.
I am frozen in place, not sure what to do, as his lips move above mine, his big palms cupping my cheeks.

"Kiss me back Cass," Harry whispers across my lips, but I am not sure how. I can feel my cheeks turn hot, and I know he can feel it too.

I open my lips, trying to mimic what I have seen in movies, and to my surprise it feels good, it feels right, and it seems Harry thinks the same, since he pulls me even closer, his hands wrap around my waist. I move my own hands to his shoulders, slowly, afraid he won't like it. His hands run up my arms and he moves my hands around his neck, before bringing his own around my back, pulling me on top of him as he lays back.

"I have wanted to do this since the first time I walked you home," He whispers breaking our lips apart as he brings his finger to trace my bottom lip. So was I but instead of telling him that, I just move his fingers, entwining them with mine as I bring my lips back to his.

Notes

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