THE DEATH OF ME
Not Friends
I don't understand his problem with me staying alone, I have done it before, and really I don't mind, I am good on my own, better than ever.
"I don't understand what the problem is," I glance back at him before stepping into the house. Harry follows in after me, walking passed me to the kitchen and laying the bags on the counter.
"Someone as young as you should not be left alone at night," He informs, while opening the fridge and putting the things in.
I watch him for a moment, the way he felt at home, opening up the fridge and putting back the groceries, as if he did it a thousand times before.
"As young as me? Harry I'm 17, I can take care of myself very well thank you very much."
I walk over to where he is taking the bag with the things that go in the cupboard.
"That isn't what I meant, I know you're capable, I just don't think you should," He replies.
I am touched by the way he feels he needs to take care of me, but at the same time I am not a child and I'm kind of sick of him treating me like one.
"Harry.. I'm not your little sister that you need to protect me all the time," I whisper, bending down to put the tin cans in their place.
"And good thing that you aren't," He scoffs.
"What does that supposed to mean?" I ask defensively.
"Nothing," He sighs, "What do you fancy eating?" He changes the subject, watching me carefully.
I roll my eyes at his sudden change, deciding to go with it, too tired to argue.
"Um.. I don't know, I haven't thought about food," I walk over to his side, looking into the open fridge.
"I only know how to make pasta," He confides in me.
"I can only make an omelet so I guess it's that or pasta," A slight smile appears on my lips as I realize how sad us not knowing to cook is.
"I think this is the second time I have ever seen you smile," He notes, his own dimples popping out, giving me a strong urge to stretch my finger out and pock them.
"You know what? Let me make you some supper, what do you say?" He turns to look for pots and pans.
"Are you sure?" I am not quick to believe this is actually happening, Harry in my kitchen, wanting to cook a meal.
"Yeah, tell me where things are and then you can go wash up or whatever you feel like doing," He throws over his shoulder while opening another cupboard.
"I can help," I offer, not sure if it's a good idea leaving him alone in the kitchen.
"Cass, it's fine, you had a long day, let me do this," He gives me his half smile, which I might love even more then the cheeky smile he has.
I find him all the things he needs and head up to take a shower and change my uniform.
I was planning on taking a quick shower and then joining Harry at the kitchen, but the hot water poring over me, working its way through muscle was so relaxing, I decided to stay in for longer.
I cannot understand why Harry was here, taking the time of day to spend time with me, chauffeuring me around.
The thing is I couldn't even ask him about it since I knew he would shut me down.
But then again we are in my house now, my territory, so maybe he will feel obligated to answer.
To be truthful, I liked whatever this is. I liked spending time with Harry, I liked the way he cared, even though he is quite rude sometimes and orders me around- tries to order me around with his demands. I am proud of myself for standing up to him, and glad that he is sticking around even though I do.
I get out of the bath drying myself and putting on sweat pants and a baggy shirt. I brush my hair and head down to see what he is up to.
"Good, I was ready to come up and check on you, I thought you drowned or something," Harry's cheeky smile is back.
"Here, let me get some plats," I ignore his comment and reach for them. They are out of my reach, and I search the floor for the stool Nan uses, when Harry moves my hand out of the way, taking the plats off the shelf and putting them down on the counter.
"Thanks," I mumble, sitting down on one of the chairs. Harry gets the cups and some water, and sits opposite me. After filling a plat and handing it over to me, Harry takes a fork full of pasta, shoving it in his mouth.
"I promise it's edible," He tries to say, his mouth full of food. I giggle at his attempt, and he raises his brow, an amused smile on his face.
"What?" I ask when I calm down.
"You laughed," He puts down his fork, leaning his chin on his hand as he assesses me.
"People usually do," I pull a face.
"Yeah, but not you, you barely smile- and I got you to smile and laugh- no giggle which is even better in one evening- I must be growing on you," His cheeky smile is back.
"Growing on me? So this is what this is? You trying to get me to like you or something?" I narrow my eyes at him.
"Is it some kind of a game? Once I'm hooked you leave?" The words are out of my mouth before I have a chance to think them through, and Harry's eyes go wide.
"That's what you think this is? That's why I'm here?" He questions, leaning in closer to me.
"Well, no.. maybe.. I don't know.. I mean.. You're Harry Styles, and yeah I had no idea who you were, but now that I do, You've got to admit this is kind of weird- you can have any girl you want, anything and everything is at the tip of your fingers and you choose to spend your time with me," I am aware of my fingers playing with the tips of my hair, but I am too nervous to look up at his green eyes.
"This is correct, I can have whatever I want but chose you," He answers after a long pause.
"Why me then? I'm a nobody, I'm in high school, I don't race- I know nothing about racing, I keep to myself, you said it yourself I don't smile or laugh, so why me?" I can't believe I am actually asking him all of this, and he is really listening and providing me with answers.
"At first... When the officer caught up with me, he said you were quite banged up from our collision, so I decided to check to make sure you were all right, I don't know why I decided it, since usually I would just not care and get on with my life, but for some reason I did.. And then when you told me off for jumping over the counter, and talking back to me- I never had someone talk back. Everyone wants to satisfy me all the time, or are just too afraid to speak back- but not you- You come off quiet and shy, but if someone crosses you, you're not afraid to speak you mind, and when you do- your eyes they-" He stops then, realizing what he is telling me, his eyes wide with fear.
"You don't speak your heart often do you?" I smirk, trying to ease him.
"No I don't... But somehow you make me," He holds his head with both hands, staring at his plat.
"Harry, what is this? What are we doing?" I push myself to ask, feeling much braver now after I heard his words.
"I don't know... I like you Cassie.. I like you a lot, but you're not even 18 yet, and that can get me in a lot of trouble," He sighs, finally looking back at me.
"It doesn't have to, we could just be friends," I whisper.
I don't want to lose what we started. I never felt the need to be around people, but after these past couple of days I'm afraid I might miss it, having such a small taste of it, leaving me wanting more.
"I don't want to be friends Cassie," He snaps, and my cheeks flush immediately, stung by his words.
"Oh.. well then.." I try to cover up the hurt.
"I want more than that, I want to take you out, I want to share my thoughts with you, and hear what you have to say, I want to make you smile- I want to hear you giggle, I want to see where this can go," He reaches out for my hands.
I can't stop my eyes from watering, his words are the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me in my whole 17 years of life.
"I made you cry! Please don't cry," His stare is pained and I pull away so I can use my hands to wipe my eyes.
"If you want me to go I will," He stands to his feet.
I have never thought I would ever see him so insecure, I never thought he can even be insecure.
"No! Don't go," I manage, watching as he runs his hand over his hair.
"What did I say?" He questions, sitting back down slowly.
"You said the nicest things to me in a minute, something I have never heard from anyone my entire life," I explain.
"Well, we'll need to fix that won't we?" He gives me a half smile, picking up his fork again. I mimic him, taking a spoon full of pasta.
"So what are we going to do then?" I ask watching Harry carefully, afraid he might go back on his word and turn back to being his obnoxious self.
"Take it slow I guess, see what comes of it.." He shrugs.
"Won't you get into trouble?" I inquire.
"Well, not if we keep it quiet," He is watching me now.
I didn't even realize I wanted something with Harry, but it downs on me now, the way I would glance at my phone after he first phoned, to see maybe he'll call again or send a message. Checking the car park for him, as I walk out of school. I wanted this, but I didn't let myself wish for it, fearing I will let myself down.
"Cassie, you need to know, being with me won't be easy, it will come with a price," Harry whispered, staring at me.
"I don't care," I answer.
I don't. I don't care what price I'll need to pay for being with Harry, I finally had something, someone, and I wasn't ready to let it go no matter what the price might be.
Harry nods at my answer, getting up and clearing the counter of our dishes. I watch his back as he washes the plats, who would have thought the famous racer would be washing dishes.
"Are you going to get me some blankets?" He asks when he's done, drying his hands on a towel.
"For what?" I furrow my brows confused.
"I already told you, you won't be staying here alone, so or you pack a bag and come with me, or get me blankets, I'll sleep on the couch," His voice is back to being its usual self, cocky and demanding.
"Fine," I climb the stairs to look for blankets, knowing I am better having him stay here then leave with him.
The articles I have read about Harry pop in my head, and they don't add up with the person who is downstairs. He is so sweet and gentle, how can someone like that can be bad?
I push the thoughts to the back of my mind as I join Harry in the living room.
@Allie Miller
Wow! Thank you for reading poppet! you're the best!
Hope you're enjoying it xx
4/11/16