Rage

I sat there in a daze, the chill of the room pricking my skin in a way I'd long grown accustomed too. My head dreamed of last night. But not of the argument. It was the way he touched and that glow in his eyes as he experienced me. We'd only done that twice before but it was under different circumstances...where he was gentle and his nips hadn't stung so bad. It was beautiful...but in a weird way I'd loved last night just as much. Seconds before it I was so certain that I hated him and hence wanted no other part of the relationship. But I thanked life for allowing me to experience him infused with anger in such a passionate way. I'd developed a few marks here and there, mostly around my neck but I was trained in covering them for work by now.

I'd somehow drawn pack to currency, rubbing my arms from the chill and grabbing my work.

I'd turned to head for the printer when I'd ran into him.

Jason:
"Gosh. Sorry about that, Ally. Let me help."

Shit. The papers I'd just spent the entire day organizing on my desk had just spiraled in every direction from my arms with the sudden contact. I was such a clutz around him lately but was clear headed in understanding the reason why.

I'd gotten on my knees to help him assemble them, sighing when I'd realized I'd have to start fresh again tomorrow when I returned.

Jason:
"Are you okay? I haven't done anything right...well besides not look where I'm going."

I was kind of annoyed with the situation given that he could never take a hint. He had a death wish or something because he'd witnessed how funny Harry was of me before.

Ally:
"No. Its fine. I've got it, thanks."

He handed the remainder to me as we stood. I hated that he hadn't yet walked away. This honestly was awkward enough and I didn't like making Harry angry.

Jason:
"I'll help you with them tomorrow. And don't decline because this is kind of my fault."

He wore his dark slacks and all white button up. The jacket of his suit was likely hung over the back of his chair on the other side of the office. Blue eyes and blonde hair now held my attention when I'd suddenly remembered the time.

Ally:
"Uh, sure. But I should be going now."

And I'd walked quickly away before much else could be said.

--

The house was quiet. Sounds of cool solid ice could be heard dropping in the icemaker of the frig in the kitchen. I checked the thermostat before grabbing a bottle of water and heading for the upper level. It was nice being alone sometimes. Listening to your own footsteps as they dragged along the floor after a long day. I didn't have to listen to her nagging about anything now but I'd start dinner before her arrival to dodge that one too. I'd begun to removed the business attire on the way up the stairs. My fingers moved to text Harry back knowing he'd lose it if I hadn't done so in a few minutes time. I took my time turning the knob as I received an incoming call from Jason. What could it be now?

The door was closed behind me as I hung my head, my thumb hovering over the acceptance of it.

Harry:
"Hey."

Every nerve in my body have jumped when I removed my hair from my face to finally look upright. He seemed amused at this fact but I was sure I knew now why heart attacks were the leading cause in deaths.

Ally:
"Jesus, Harry."

He had the pile of mail that was previously sat aside on my bed and proceeded to flip through idly. I canceled the call quickly, setting the phone on the dresser behind me. I'm watching as his dimples disappeared from his prior moment of amusement.

Harry:
"I thought you were use to me doing that by now."

He sat his phone down as well. Motioning for me to step toward him.

Harry:
"Come here."

He was seated so it was the first time I hadn't felt short next to him. He hugged me in, burying himself in the scent of me. I didn't know how I felt still but it was something about being close to him that triggered an irregular heartbeat. His large hands untucked my blouse from my skirt and proceeded in loosening the buttons on the fabric. It was removed in a manner to make me a bit more comfortable but still thoughts hovered of our encounter before. ‎

My face was pulled to his in an embrace that chilled my spine as his fingers lingered about my waist. It was something really affectionate about the way he always did this to me that caused me never to protest. His scent was consumed pleasantly and balanced in the afterthought of his next question.

Harry:
"Who was that?"

Ally:
"Hm?"

Harry:
"Calling you a second ago."

I'd never believed that palms became sweaty with nervousness but I guess I'd have to rethink that one. I was still locked to him but was clever in not giving it much thought to answer quickly. Because honestly, I was a bad liar.

Ally:
"Uh, work. I have to go in a little earlier tomorrow to fix something I ruined."

He pecked my lips warmly once more and I'd begun to trail off. My fingers were taken and pulled across the room to the sofa just by the window. I felt some sort of conversation coming along, that likely I wouldn't enjoy. He starred but I hadn't back, just deciding to wait for it at this point. Harry and I were weird but somehow it seemed to work all of this time. Everything had been going moderately after his last big rage, just a little tempers and a few arguments. Nothing that wasn't fixed in a day's time.

Harry:
"I heard from someone today that your birthday was a few days before you're sister's... Is that true?"

I treaded lightly before thinking of a response. Choosing to just keep it simple with a nod.

Harry:
"Why didn't I know that? You let it go by without even telling me."

Clearly he was pissed. So dismissal was the best option here.

Ally:
"Its not a big deal."

Harry:
"How is that normal? You never talk to me about anything personal. And that was a huge deal."

Ally:
"Only if you make it one, Harry. Just drop it."

I'd said to provide closure to the conversation. But that would have been a little too easy.

Harry:
"We've been knowing each other for a while, I would think by now you'd feel comfortable with sharing that with me..."

It was my way of remaining closed, in a way. Not clinging on to him in a form that most girls would because I understood what we were. No need to complicate that.

Harry:
"You never talk about your parents or even tell me your favorite color...That makes me feel like we're just... sex."

I proceeded to removing my earrings to provide a distraction from the heavy conversation. I'd rather not talk about this but these kinds of things were almost impossible for him to avoid. If I didn't know any better I'd think this was a relationship.

Harry:
"Are we? Because you do realize there are other girls I could have for that."

Ugh. So an argument had to be what he wanted because I was sure he knew better than to say that to me.

Ally:
"So go on. I'm sure they're a lot better at it too."

He sighes as I emotionally ready myself to leave again.

Harry:
"No. See, you're completely missing the point."

It was painful how much I could hate him sometimes at his wording for things. I began rearranging the dresser nervously when I see him approaching in the reflection of the mirror in front of me.

Ally:
"Okay."


Harry:
"And besides..."

His voice had gotten lower as he looked away and then back again. I felt his peck there along my neck and shoulder.

Harry:
"Noone's better at it."

I closed my eyes to realm. It was truly that sour then sweet experience. His curls were smooth and subtly calming against me. I was turned to face him, his presence looking down at me now.

Harry:
"This isn't over. We're going to disgust it."

I nodded as confidence left me, causing my eyes to fall toward the floor. Converses and carpet swirled my vision.

Harry:
"My birthday's February 1st, Ally. When's yours?"

He was being sweet and patient with me but apart of me hated that. I didn't want to fall for him and I've always thought that way when it came to this weird relationship. I was hesitant to even go there but I knew this wasn't an epiphany were we'd suddenly be each others everything with this simple question. I huffed mentally at that idea. ‎He kissed against my arms in persuasion and I'd felt myself cracking.

Ally:
"It was the ‎first of this month..."

I was in no position to escape but I would have taken it if I were.

Harry:
"See...that wasn't too bad."

Notes

Sorry if there's errors. How did you like it?

I'll update soon.