Harry's POV

"I don't get it."

"Oh my gosh, Harry. She has cancer. How do you not know what lukemia is?"

I shrug and smile at how offended she is that I don't get this movie. "I got the sick part, but now I understand. Terminal cancer. I can see how you'd think that is sad."

"I don't think it's sad. It is sad," she says, looking over at me.

"Is it, though? I mean, it's about her getting to love someone before she dies. That's sort of happy."

"But she dies," she says like I'm an idiot. "That's sad. He's left all alone."

"She dies?" I ask loudly, pretending to be surprised and annoyed. "Wow, Carmen. Thanks for spoiling the ending."

She narrows her eyes at me and I can tell she's trying not to smile. "Just watch the damn movie."

I do as I'm told, but when another sad part happens I'm watching Carmen instead. Her eyes are glossy and she keeps taking deep breaths. She probably doesn't want to cry in front of me, but this is adorable all the same.

I'm honestly surprised she let me in the house. I was really annoyed with the guys so I started walking, and when I got to her house I figured, why not? She's already shot me down once, I could have handled it the second time, too. But she didn't. Now I'm here in her room watching a movie on her bed. That, to me, is major progress.

Something is bothering me, though. When we slept together we were at an apartment, but she clearly lives here and not there. Where did she take me and why didn't she just take me literally across the hall to her room. Why take the trip across town? I get wanting privacy, but if that apartment is hers then why does she live here? I want to ask her, but Carmen is closed off enough as it is and I don't want her pushing me away again. At this rate I figure we're almost friends. To me we are friends, but I know to her we probably aren't. This probably gets me closer, though.

I catch her wiping under her eyes a few times, but she doesn't make any other obvious moves to tell me that she's actually crying. The movie actually is good, but it's fun to tease her about it. After the girl dies and the movie is done she sits up and switches the lights on.

"So that's a Nicholas Sparks movie."

"I think I'm going to have to see a few more," I say, tapping my chin. "I don't think I can decide if I like him on just that one."

She laughs. "Alright. Next time you don't want to hear your roommate have sex you can always escape here."

"Really?"

She looks up at me with wide eyes, like she just realized what she said. I should have just gone with it, why do I have to question every nice thing she says to me? I probably sound like such an asshole, assuming she's always mean and stuff.

"I can't safely assume that you won't hear the same thing from one of the girls, but watching a movie can usually drown it out," she says, smiling small at me.

"I'm not going to lie, the girls on your team don't seem to be the most pleasant people," I whisper. She laughs.

"Yeah, they're a little rough around the edges," she agrees. "But they're like family to me now."

"Is your family far from here?"

She stiffens slightly and immediately I know I shouldn't have asked that. She sits up and hangs her legs off the edge of the bed.

"Yeah," is all she says. I mentally facepalm. I shouldn't have brought her family up. She's so private about everything, no doubt that's something she'd want to keep personal.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to pry," I say, sliding up beside her. She nods and stands altogether.

"I should probably get to sleep," she says. "It's late and I have to be at school early in the morning."

"All right."

She finally looks at me, her blue eyes swimming with uncertainty. I know she's trying to figure out if she can trust me, but me telling her she can won't do any good. As I stand she folds her arms across her chest, keeping me out completely.

"Have a good night, Carmen." I walk to the door and open it. "Thanks for letting me hide out here."

She nods and smiles small at me as I walk out. I'm such an idiot, how did I mess that up so fast? We were actually acting kind of normal and I had to make her uncomfortable. I'm such a fuck up.

There's not a lot I can say about Carmen. I really don't know her, though I want to more than I ever have before. She's so closed off and cautious to people, not just to me but to everyone she meets. I want to know why. Not because it'll help me get closer, but I want to know who hurt her so badly that she feels the need to shut people out so completely. She seems content with the few people she surrounds herself with, but everyone gets lonely sometime.

---

"Where'd you go last night?" Louis asks when I come downstairs in the morning. I shrug and pour myself some coffee. "Don't make me beat it out of you, Styles."

I laugh. "Like you could beat me up."

"Oh I could, don't you worry."

I just laugh again and sit down at the table. "I was at Carmen's last night."

"All night!" he shouts.

"No, you idiot. I went there while Zayn and Mel were going at it, I couldn't listen anymore. We just watched a movie and then I left."

"So she actually let you in her house. That's incredible."

"Shut up."

He laughs. "It's funny, you know. Ivy is quite different from Carmen."

"I literally hate you right now."

He laughs as I stand and go back to my bedroom. They all rub it in my face that Louis had such an easy time with Ivy and here I am trying so hard just to get Carmen to talk to me. Great friends I have, I know.

I drive alone to school since Niall and Louis are taking forever, as usual. I have classes until three and then a dinner shift at the restaurant, so it's a busy day for me. I was actually hoping to go watch Carmen's practice today, since volleyball is the only thing I know she loves. And Nicholas Smith, apparently. It was adorable the way she reacted when she found out I didn't know who he was.

I wish I had a class with her. Just one, that's all I would need. It would give me a legitimate reason for seeing her a lot and we could even do homework together. I know it's pathetic that I'm thinking this way, but that's just the way it is apparently. The first girl in a really long time that I actually really like and she doesn't even look twice.

That kiss on Friday, though. I took a chance with that one, making it a little more than a simple peck like I probably should have. She actually kissed me back, too, and that was all the encouragement I needed to know that I shouldn't stop trying with her. Maybe that's what she needs; someone that's going to fight for her and prove to her that she can depend on someone besides herself.

I don't know how hard to push without pushing her away, though. She's so closed off that the minute I start to actually know her she pushes me away again. Maybe I should get some advice from Liam..but he's so loyal to her that he'd probably never tell me anything she hasn't told me yet.

I think I just need to subtly insert myself into her life. I'll visit the cafe, watch her volleyball games, we can hang out sometimes with the boys or with just us. I can slowly but surely work my way into her life, but I know they biggest thing standing in my way is Carmen herself. I don't want to spook her, so doing this as carefully as possible has got to be my priority.

I'm so fucking crazy. So insane.

After my classes for the day I head home to change quickly for work. We're supposed to wear black pants and a white, black or red tshirt with the restuarant's apron with the logo on it. There's also so caps that some people wear, but Louis' Dad doesn't make me wear them thank goodness.

My parents are the only ones that still live in the UK. When Lou said he wanted to go to school over here his parents decided to relocate his whole family as a result. He doesn't live with them, so he actually doesn't mind. If my mum followed me here I think I would have gone crazy, but she knows that so she would never do that.

Niall is already working when I get there and Louis is probably late for his shift. The restaurant gets pretty busy every night, so we have our hands full with tables. One thing I don't expect, though, is for Liam and Ivy to come in with Carmen by their side. One of the hostesses greets them, but I walk over to do it myself.

"Hey," I greet, a stupid grin on my face.

"Hey man," Liam says. "Got room for us?"

"Sure, there's a table in my section." I look over at Carmen with a smile and she just smiles back, no words uttered.

As I lead them over to the table I hear Carmen harshly ask Liam why he didn't tell her I work at this place. He must have planned this if he didn't tell her, so I'll have to thank him for that later. I think since I didn't give up on her after she turned me down he finally believes that I could have real feelings for her, so he gave up on the whole protective big brother thing.

They all slide into the booth, Liam on one side, Ivy by the window and Carmen on the outside beside Ivy.

"All day breakfast or regular dinner menus?" I ask.

"Breakfast," they all say in unison. With one last glance at Carmen, who is staring intently at the window, I turn to go get them. Niall runs over and hits my back. Hard.

"What the hell?" I ask quietly but harshly. He points to Liam and Carmen's table.

"She's here!"

"Niall, shut up," I beg, getting my menus. He is anything but subtle.

"What are you going to do?" he asks, following me.

"Nothing." He shuts up when we get to the table and I hand them all their menus.

"Hey guys," Niall says happily. Carmen looks up and fucking smiles at him while she actually speaks the word 'hello'. She must be upset about what I said last night. That's the only solution I can come up with.

"Drinks?" I ask. They all ask for chocolate milk, so I leave Niall to chat with them while I get that and check on my other tables. Every time I look over Carmen is actually speaking. Why does she have to hate me. I don't get it. I never did anything to her.

Every time I go the table to take their order, bring their food and check on them Carmen barely glances my way. According to her I don't even exist. When I look at Liam for help or an explanation he just shrugs. Thanks for the help.

When they get up to leave I find myself chasing after them.

"Carmen!"

She turns and stops walking. The others stop too, but she tells them she'll meet them at the car. She turns expectantly to me, her arms crossed again. I don't like it when she does that; it's like she's physically trying to keep me away.

"Listen, I'm sorry about last night," I rush out. "I didn't mean to pry or make you feel weird, I-"

"Harry, don't worry about it," she says, cutting me off. "It's not a big deal."

"Really?" She nods and I scratch the back of my neck. "You just seem mad at me or something." I sound like a pathetic moron.

"I'm not mad at you," she says simply. "I just feel like I gave you the wrong impression last night."

"What do you mean?" I don't like where this is going.

"Nothing's changed," she says simply, shrugging her shoulders.

My stomach drops. I know what she means. We're still only pretending for Liam and she has no interest in my whatsoever.

"Why do you have such a huge problem with me?" I ask, finally a little irritated and defeated at the same time. "What did I do to you?"

"I know your type, Harry."

"My type?"

"Yes. You're all confidence and flirting and you think you can have whatever and whoever you want. Well, I'm not that girl that's going to fall for all your tricks and charm, alright? So whatever you're trying to do here, you might as well just give up." She starts backing away. "Trust me, it's better for you if you stop trying."

With that she turns and walk away, leaving me stunned and standing in the parking lot. Apparently the progress I thought I was making was nonexistent, and her second rejection hurts a lot more than the first one. Now it just seems like there's no hope. Giving up doesn't seem like an option, though.

Fighting seems like my only option.

Notes

another onee :) i thought id give you this since i wont have time to update until the weekend most likely. please comment!!!! i really want to know what you all think of the story :)

vote please! thank you :)