Carmen's POV

This is why I hate these games.

Everyone looks much more interested than they should when Niall dares Harry to kiss me. I've learned by now that the guys all know that we slept together a few weeks ago, but they have also observed us since then. After Harry's proposition for a peace treaty on Liam's behalf things have been more normal between us. We aren't quite friends, but we're friendly enough that we don't bicker all the time anymore. There's nothing going on, so I don't get what the big deal is.

When I look over at Harry he's basically stabbing Niall with his mind. Personally, I don't think it's a big deal. It's just one kiss and we've done a lot more than that.

"What?" Niall asks innocently. He smiles at both of us and leans back against the couch, just waiting.

"Am I missing something?" I ask finally. Everyone's eyes stick to me and I look over at Harry. He looks confused now. "What's the big deal?"

Harry blinks a few times in surprise and looks around for a moment before he answers me. "Umm...nothing, I guess."

"Aright, then." I'm trying to make this as nonchalant as possible, since clearly to everyone else this is the worst dare in the world. Harry is already sitting beside me, so all he'd have to do is lean over and kiss me.

But that's not what he does. Instead he gets on his knees and plants a hand on either side of me on the couch I'm leaning against, so his face is slightly above mine. I raise my eyebrows in question, but he just smiles and leans towards me. I sigh as I close my eyes, and he pauses right before our lips touch. For a moment I think he might change his mind and sit back down, but then he does it.

A million butterflies find their way to my stomach when Harry kisses me. His lips are soft, gentle against mine, but then they part ever so slightly and he leans towards me more, more pressure behind the kiss. I have a strange urge to curl my fingers into his hair, but then I remember there's other people so I have to force my arms to remain at my sides. His tongue grazes my bottom lip before he finally pulls back.

I can barely hear the suggestive noises and remarks from the rest of the group as I watch Harry sit back down, a small but triumphant smile on his face. His cheeks are rosy and when he leans back against the couch and bends his knees so his legs are closer to his chest, I can see the his chest is rising and falling a little faster than normal. My heart is pounding so loud they can probably all hear it. I wasn't expecting that at all.

When Harry looks at me I quickly look away, taking a large sip of my drink. Everyone is still staring at me, all smiling.

"What?" I ask as calmly as possible.

"Your turn," Niall says, laughing as he does.

"Oh. Right. Umm...Ivy."

We continue playing the game, but I barely take notice. Instead I find myself putting all my energy into not looking at Harry, even though I desperately want to. My body has never responded that way to a guy kissing me. Ever. I felt like my heart was going to beat right out of my chest and the nervous feeling in my stomach...I'm not even sure what that was.

Nothing. I decided. It's nothing. Just...something weird. That I ate. Yeah, that makes sense.

When everyone decides the game is boring we start another movie. The guys didn't know what Safe Haven was, so with a laugh from Ivy and small smile from myself we put it in. They soon realized that it was a romance, but they let us keep watching anyway.

Now that we're all resettled into couches I feel so on edge. Harry sitting beside me makes me nervous, and now I feel like I can't even look at him. What is he doing to me? I never get nervous or anxious around boys and physical contact doesn't make me nervous. I don't want Harry to make me nervous. I just want to sit here and watch this movie and spend time with people that may become my friends eventually.

Harry must be looking at me. I can feel it. Also, I can see him out of the corner of my eye and he's definitely looking at me. The scene at the cottage where they have sex is happening right now and my heart is beating out of control. Images from my night with Harry start clouding my thoughts and I feel like I might explode from the heat in my stomach and cheeks.

Without warning I get up and head for the kitchen. I suddenly feel like I can't breathe, Harry's presence beside me too overwhelming to handle. I want to escape it, but I feel it follow me.

I take my last drink out of the fridge and twist the cap off, drinking half of it before turning around. Harry is watching with an amused expression, leant back against the counter.

"What?" I say.

He smiles wider. "Nothing, I just wanted to...apologize, I guess?"

"For what?" I walk over to him and hop up onto the counter beside him. It surprises both him and myself, but it must be the alcohol making me friendly. Which normally, I am not.

"Kissing you like that," he continues. He switches so that his hip is leaning against the counter, his body facing mine. I shrug, though having him talk about it makes my heart do strange things.

"It's not a big deal," I say quietly, picking at the paper on my glass bottle. Damn, I'm awkward right now.

"All right." He laughs. "That's good, then."

"Yup." Why is that good? I thought...

Nevermind. It doesn't matter, anyway.

"The movie is pretty intense," he says, looking over his shoulder at the screen. When I follow his eyes I notice most of the group observing us, but they look away when I catch them.

"Nicholas Sparks does that a lot."

"Does he have a lot of movies?"

My mouth drops open. I'm really not a 'girlie-girl', but I love romance movies as much as the next female. Nicholas Sparks movies and novels are a must.

"You're joking, right?" I ask, sipping at more of my drink.

"What?"

"You've never seen The Notebook?" He shakes his head. "A Walk to Remember? The Last Song? The Lucky One?"

"No, why? Is he an actor or something?"

"Harry!" I screech. The others turn around again and Harry just laughs. "No, he's not an actor. He's an author with the saddest but best books ever and those are some of the ones that became movies."

"Are they good?" The small smile on his lips never fades, and for some reason it makes a giddy feeling bubble inside of me.

"Yeah, they are. They're all really sad, though."

"Maybe I'll have to watch them," he says, leaning his hand on the counter so his body is a little closer to mine.

"You could watch them with me, I have them all." The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them, and he looks just as surprised as I feel by the offer. We've never spent time together alone, and now I'm asking if he wants to watch some of the saddest romance movies ever with me. Alone.

"Really?" he says quietly.

"I mean, if you want to," I stutter. My usually decent self confidence has diminished greatly in the last fifteen seconds. "You don't have to, if that's weird."

"No, it's not weird. I'd like that."

"Okay." I nod and take another sip of my drink. He snatches it from me and takes a sip as well.

"Let's go keep watching," he says, walking backwards towards the living room. I jump down and follow him, biting the inside of my cheek to keep from smiling. When he sits down his arm extends across the back of the couch. I plant myself beside him, reaching for my drink. He holds it far enough that I have to lean across him to get it, and when I finally do he's laughing at me and I've moved a little closer to him. Our legs are almost touching, but not quite, and while I stare at the small space I wonder what it would be like it that distance wasn't there. If none of the distance between us was there. I mean distance, of course, in more ways than one.

My eyes go to Harry before the movie, and as I lean further into the couch I can't help but smile. He's always smiling at me, an adorable little smile with only one dimple decorating it. It's endearing and charming in a way I can't explain unless you've seen it yourself. He's captivating.

Could just be the alcohol talking.

---

The following Monday brings more work and more classes. After a shift at the cafe I find myself walking to school since I was too late to get a ride with anyone. I get to my first class late and find myself half asleep most of the time, with only about half of the notes I usually take. I guess I'll have to try to get the rest from the readings.

After my statistics tutorial I head for the library so I can try to get ahead on some assignments. My time at school between classes and practices is essential; I wouldn't get anything done otherwise. But of course, guess to has to show up.

Harry and Liam come strolling in, and as soon as they see me they're headed my way. I try to look pleased, but on the inside I'm already irritated.

"Don't worry, we'll let you work," Liam says, reading my mind as he sits down. "We didn't bring Niall, so we can actually get something done."

I can't help but laugh, my eyes meeting Harry's. He smiles widely at me and all I can do is awkwardly wave. I haven't talked to him since my awkward offer on Friday night, so hopefully it's not even more weird between us than it usually is.

We all start working in silence. While normally I would appreciate that, for some reason it's more distracting than if they were screaming at the top of their lungs. I don't know why, but I can't focus. I find myself rereading the same sentence about ten times before I give up and decide to try and do my statistics homework instead. Actively engaging in something might help.

"Carms, do you have a game this weekend?" Liam asks. Normally I'd scold him for interrupting my homework, but now I'm grateful.

"Yeah, on Sunday. I think it's at three. You're coming, right?" Liam sitting in the stands in something that actually calms my pre-game nerves. He was at every game last year. As one of the only freshman to actually get playing time in the entire league, I was pretty fucking nervous every time. But Liam was always there in his USC sweater and his thumbs-up. At first it made me laugh, but then I started looking for him. The moment I found him in the crowd it was like a weight was lifted off my chest.

"Of course," he says happily. "I'd never miss it."

I smile and look over at Harry. He was watching, but when I catch him he looks back down at his textbook.

"Harry, you could come," I say slowly. Both boys give me shocked looks. "If you wanted to. I don't know if you even like volleyball."

"I'd love to come," he says quickly. Both of us blush slightly and I can see Liam's shoulders shaking with laughter beside me, so I kick him under the table.

"Okay."

We all go back to our work and once again, I find myself putting all of my energy into not looking at Harry. I feel creepy wanting to stare at him all the time, but whenever I look around there's at least three other girls staring, so I feel like I should get to as well.

Not that he's even that good looking. I don't really care anyway.

---

That night I finish my schoolwork early and start watching old episodes of Friends on my laptop. I was hoping my Dad would call since he usually tries to every few weeks, but he hasn't and it makes me nervous and sad. TV is a good distraction, I guess.

"Carmen," Des calls, coming into my room. "Someone is at the door for you."

"Really?" She nods. "All right."

I follow her into the kitchen and around the corner. When I get to the front door Harry is standing near the steps, hands shoved in his pockets.

"Harry?"

He looks at me with a bright smile. "Hey, Carmen."

"What are you doing here?"

"I was bored and I could hear Zayn and his girlfriend...being active," he brushes his hand through his hair and I laugh. "Anyway, I was wondering if I could take you up on your movie offer?"

The light of hope in his eyes is almost childlike and before I know what I'm doing my body is moved to the side so he can come in the house. He kicks off his shoes without being told, which I appreciate but don't tell him, and he follows me to my room.

"Do you want a drink or something?" I ask as we get to the door.

"No, that's fine."

I walk through my bedroom door and stand to the side so I can close it once he's in. He stands awkwardly in the middle of it and looks around a bit. When the door is shut we both just stand there. Liam is the only guys I ever let in here, really. This is weird for me.

"So...this is my room," I say finally. He laughs and it brings a smile to my face.

"It's nice," Harry says, sliding his hands in his pockets again. He's wearing dark jeans and a loose sweater, a bandana in his messy hair. He looks comfortable, but good at the same time.

"It's alright." I shrug.

He's probably wondering where I brought him when we slept together, but if he is he doesn't ask about it. I'm glad he doesn't. I don't feel like talking to him about my Dad and my family. It's too personal.

"So, what did you want to watch?" I ask, sitting on my bed against the wall with my laptop on my legs. He just looks at me. I laugh a little and roll my eyes. "You can sit on the bed, Harry."

He smiles shyly and sits beside me, our arms not quite touching. His legs extend just a little further than mine; I'm probably only about two inches shorter than him, if I had to guess.

"Nicholas Smith, wasn't it?"

"Sparks. Nicholas Sparks."

"Whatever. Pick one of those, since apparently you're the expert."

I laugh again and open up my file with all my movies in it. Harry slouches down a little more on the bed, and I'm grateful now that I have a double instead of a twin like most of the girls.

"We'll start with A Walk To Remember," I decide. It's sad, but it doesn't have any intense intimate moments in it, so I think it's good for tonight with this boy that's almost a stranger to me.

"If you say so."

I set the laptop between our knees and get a pillow to lean to the side on. Harry says he doesn't want one, but he probably does, so I give him one anyway. When the movie starts I feel something hanging in the air between us. I'm not sure what it is.

Notes

next chapter will be a continue. ill try for tomorrow morning but we'll seee

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