Harry's POV

The car ride to the restaurant has been completely silent. It's not uncomfortable but I can clearly see how nervous Carmen is. And rightfully so, but she's driving me a little bit crazy. She's been fidgeting constantly, picking at her nails or bouncing her knee or fiddling with every single button in my car. Every single one.

"Can you relax," I say finally, putting my hand over hers and bringing it to my lap so she stops changing the radio station.

"No," she says simply. She chews on a nail from her free hand and shakes her head. "Maybe we should just go home."

"Carmen."

"I'm not ready for this. No, it's not okay. Harry, we need to go home."

"Carmen, you're going to be fine," I assure her, squeezing her hand. "I know its scary, but you have to do this."

"I can't!"

"Yes you can. And I'm going to be there the whole time so even if you can't, I'll help you through it." I pull into a parking spot at the restaurant and turn the car off, turning towards Carmen who is still chewing on her nail. She stares at the building with wide eyes. "Carmen, you can do this."

"What if I can't?" she whispers. Her wide eyes look to me and I try to give her a reassuring smile.

"You can. Just take a breath and let's go inside."

"Do you think she's already in there?"

"Why don't we go find out."

Carmen takes a shaky breath and I step out of the car, waiting for a moment before going to get her out of the car myself. When I open the door she doesn't move, though. Not until I actually take her hand and pull her out of the car. She stays close to me when we walk inside and when I give the name for the reservation she grabs my hand so tight I feel like it might fall off.

"Is that her?" I whisper, nodding towards the table the hostess is taking us to. Carmen takes another deep breath and nods her hand. The woman sitting in the booth has blonde hair like Carmen, fair skin with dark eyes and dark makeup. She's wearing an expensive looking blouse with a diamond necklace and she seems to be fidgeting as much as Carmen is.

"I can't," Carmen says suddenly. She spins around and starts walking away, but her hand is still in mine and I'm not letting her leave.

"Baby, you need to do this," I tell her. She shakes her head. "Yes, you do. There's a reason you agreed to it and I know you're scared but that's okay. I'm going to be right here and as soon as you start feeling weird we can go. But you need to at least talk to her."

"Harry, you're not hearing me. I can't do this."

"Maybe not. But either way you're already here, so why not get a free meal out of it?"

One corner of her mouth twitches and I know she's trying not to smile. After a moment she sighs and nods her head, letting me pull her back towards the table where the hostess is still waiting. She gives us a weird smile and I approach the table first, Carmen's hand held tightly in mine. Her mother, Gale, looks up at us and her expression reminds me of Carmen, her wide eyes and scared expression and an almost smile.

"Hi," she says. She stands and I pull Carmen from her position hiding behind me so she's at least half exposed. "I'm Gale, Carmen's mother."

"Harry," I say, shaking her hand.

"Nice to meet you. Are you dating my daughter?"

"Umm...no," I decide. I'm not about to try to explain that. "We're just friends." Gale nods and her eyes wander to Carmen, a shy smile fighting its way onto her face.

"Hi Carmen," she says. "I'm really glad you came."

"Yeah," Carmen mutters. She pushes me towards the booth and we all sit down. Carmen maintains eye contact with her hands for a while. Gale just looks at her, and sometimes at me, but mostly at her. Me? I have no idea what to do.

"Can I get you all something to drink?"

My head snaps up at the familiar voice and by whole body goes cold. This could not be a worse night to have a run-in.

"Harry?" Nicole says. She smiles and crosses her arms.

"Hey," I say uneasily. Her eyes wander to the small group I'm with and then back to me. "I didn't know you worked here."

"I told you last weekend," she says. "But I have a feeling you've long forgotten about that."

"Right," I mutter. I shift a little and there's a weird silence before Gale finally breaks it.

"I'll have coffee please," she says.

"Water for me," I tell her. I look at Carmen and she's already glaring at me. I probably know why.

"Water is fine," she says. She raises her eyebrows and as soon as Nicole is gone I'm aplogizing. She just shakes her head and puts her hand on my thigh..

"So," Gale says. "How is school?"

Carmen scoffs. "I didn't come here to tell you about my life."

"I want to get to know you, Carmen."

"You could have if you hadn't-"

"Carmen," I say quietly. She sighs and shuts her mouth, looking away from Gale again.

"I don't want to upset you," Gale says. "I know I have a lot to make up for, but that's why I'm here now. I know you're angry-"

"No," Carmen snaps. "You don't. You have no idea how I would feel because you don't know anything about me! You can't just come here and expect me to just want to be your daughter because I don't."

"Here are your drinks," Nicole announces, setting the cups on the table.

I grimace as she lingers for a moment, trying really hard not to look at her at all. This is just not a good situation in any respect. Carmen is being much more talkative than I expected and not in a good way.

"I'm not making any assumptions," Gale continues. "I know I've lost every right to know who you are and I've made a lot of mistakes. You have no idea how sorry I am, Carmen. I wanted to come back years ago but I knew you would react this way and I couldn't bring myself to do it."

"Why now?" Carmen whimpers.

"I don't think I could give you an answer that would help." Point for Gale. "But I am here now and I was hoping we could at least talk."

"I have no idea how to talk to you," Carmen says.

"We can learn," she says warmly, smiling at Carmen. "I'm not trying to come into your life and be your mother like nothing's happened. I just want to know you."

"I'm not...I don't know," Carmen says.

"Just give me a chance." I can see in Gale's eyes how much she wants Carmen to agree and a tiny part of my feels bad for her. But then I remember she abandoned Carmen and she deserves to feel bad about that. Carmen stares at the table for a moment before suddenly sliding out of the booth and standing up.

"This was a mistake. I came because Harry wanted me to give you a chance but I...I don't think that I can," she says. "You left me. For fifteen years. That doesn't just go away, you can't expect me to forget all the time I spent without a parent around."

"I don't," Gale says. "Carmen, I don't, but-"

"Harry, can we please go now?" Carmen asks me. There's tears building in her eyes and it makes me feel terrible for making her do this. I nod and climb out of the booth, sliding my arms back into my jacket.

"I want you to stay with me," Gale blurts. My mouth drops open in shock and Gale stares desperately at her daughter.

"What?" Carmen chokes out.

"I live in Montecito in California and I would love it if you could come stay with us for a weekend or something. I know it's a lot, but I have two boys there and I..." she pauses and sighs. "I would really love to spend some time with you."

There's a long pause during which I feel like there should be some theme music because it's so intense. This evening didn't have a lot of expectation with it because Carmen is a pretty unpredictable person. I had no idea how she'd be so I didn't want to have a plan for tonight. Either way I did not see this coming. My eyes flicker to Carmen and she stares with glossy eyes at the woman that was never supposed to hurt her the way she did.

Suddenly she turns and bolts out of the restaurant, knocking over someone's drink on her way out. Before I can rush after her Gale is holding my arm.

"What?" I ask. She sighs and hands me a sheet of paper. "What's this?"

"My information," she explains. "If she decides...if she changes her mind, that's how to find me."

"You fucked up," I tell her bluntly. She smiles sadly and picks up her bag.

"I know. Trust me, I know."

---

"Please say something," I plead, pulling into my driveway.

"Just take me home, Harry," Carmen says quietly, arms still crossed while she stares out the window.

"No, you're upset. You shouldn't be on your own."

"That's exactly why I want to be alone."

"What I meant was," I clarify, leaning on the console between us, "You're upset with me and I'd rather not let you leave so you can ignore me for a week."

She rolls her eyes. "I don't do that."

"Yes you do."

"No I don't."

"Yes you do."

"You're not helping yourself," she says. She glares at me for a few seconds before turning back to the window. Apparently glass is more interesting than me. Maybe if I stare at her long enough she'll notice.

Nope.

It stays quiet for a while longer and in the stubborn way I should have expected, she doesn't even look at me. I expected her to be mad at me I guess, but not really like this. She won't even look at me. Ideally I'd like to hold out as long as her and just wait until she breaks, but I don't have the patience for that. I really don't. It's obvious now that I shouldn't have made her talk to her mother, but how was I supposed to know she was going to be this upset? I thought I was doing what was best for her and now I'm left with a very angry girl beside me.

"Please just tell me what you're thinking," I request quietly. She sighs and shakes her head. "Carmen I'm sorry. I know I fucked up and I'm sorry I forced you into this but I really can't take this. I need to-"

"I'm not upset with you," she says, cutting me off and shutting me right up. "Not everything is about you, Harry."

Ouch. "Then tell me what's wrong."

"No."

"No?"

"Can you please just take me home?"

"Do you want to visit her in California?"

"Harry."

"I'm just saying," I continue, shrugging my shoulders. "If you wanted to go-"

"I don't," she snaps. Words. That's progress. When I wait for more it doesn't come, though.

"Montecito is nice," I continue. "I think Oprah lives there."

She looks at me with raised eyebrows and manages to put even more distance between us. Her sassy look is asking me 'why the fuck does that matter?' but I feel like answering that question could be dangerous. Talking at all right now feels dangerous.

"It has been weirdly cold this winter." Apparently I'm doing it anyway. "You could go for a weekend or something and get a killer tan. She probably has a massive house and she says she has two kids, so technically they would be-"

"Harry!" she yells. My mouth snaps shut and she pushes her fingers into her hair, grasping at the roots. "Just stop! Okay, I get it. They're my family and whatever and that's fine but I can't go there. I can't have a mom and brothers and a house in Montecito with Oprah next door. I can't do it, I just can't, I can't, I can't, I can't."

"Okay." I reach over and put my arm around her, pulling her across the car so I can hug her. She leans her forehead against my shoulder and I feel her start to shake a little from crying, probably. After a minute or two she crawls over the console, setting herself on my lap and curling up against me with her forehead tucked against my neck. I like cuddly Carmen. 'Cuz I'm way more cuddly than she is and sometimes that bugs me.

"You don't have to do anything," I tell her after a while. She nods and in a brave move I decide to kiss her forehead. "I'm proud of you, you know that?"

"You are?" Carmen looks up at me and I smile, wiping a tear from her cheek.

"Very. I can't imagine how hard that was for you, but you did it."

"Not well," she says, laughing a little.

"Better than I thought. I thought I'd have to drag you in the restaurant."

"Like you could do that."

I just laugh and she leans into me again, hiding those pretty blue eyes. A tiny part of me hopes she'll eventually agree to go to Montecito and meet the rest of her family, because that's what they are whether she acknowledges it or not. And she deserves to have a family more than anyone I know. She's had to figure out a lot of stuff on her own, but this time I'm going to be here. Boyfriend or not, I'm going to be the person she leans on. Right now I don't want to be anywhere else.

Notes

aww.

i dont know what to say here this time.

so i like it when you guys comment...even if you say that you hate it i just like to hear from you.
except if you say you hate it then i might cry but..you know how it is.