Harry's POV

Is it bad that it still surprises me a little to wake up next to Carmen? The spiderman sheets do make it a little surreal but...I'm not sure it's something I'll get used to. Carmen, I mean, not the sheets. She looks much younger when she's asleep, much more peaceful. There's no worry in her eyes or frown set in her lips. She's always beautiful, but I wish she could just be a little more care-free about her life. She thinks too much.

She's finally sleeping soundly and I don't want to ruin that, so I carefully get out of bed without waking her. It's so fucking pathetic that I don't even want to leave her here when I'l be just downstairs. So it's fine. So before I can convince myself to stay I kiss her forehead and shut the door behind me on my way downstairs. When I get down there my mother is already making some breakfast. She shakes her head when she sees me.

"I'll never understand why you can't wear just a little more clothes," she says, referring to my boxers while flipping some bacon.

"I'm a free soul, mother. Plus, you should be happy that I feel so comfortable with my family."

"We would all be okay with you being a little less comfortable." She smirks at me. "I guess Carmen ended up in your room?"

I laugh. "Looks like it. Neither of us could sleep."

"Why's that?"

"Jet lag?" I shrug. She smiles. "What?"

"Whatever you say, darling. Looked like you were sleeping to me."

"Okay, fine! I like sleeping in the same bed as her. There, I said it. Stop drilling me with questions. We didn't do anything."

"Harry, I'm just teasing, I don't need the details," she says quickly, holding her hand up. "I said I'm okay with it, I didn't say I wanted the play by play."

"The play by play would have meant some-"

"May I remind you," she says loudly, interrupting me, "That you're still my baby and I don't want to know."

"You brought it up." I stand and get a mug for myself, pouring some coffee. "Wasn't Gemma supposed to come yesterday?"

"Yeah, but she got called into work so she's coming today sometime. Is Carmen still asleep?"

"Yeah, I think she's pretty tired." She nods and I shift awkwardly. "Mum I...can I ask you something?"

"Of course," she says, stepping over to the fridge. When I don't say anything she sets down the eggs in her hand and stands in front of me. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, just...I was wondering what you thought."

"About what?"

"Carmen," I laugh. "This whole...thing."

"You'll have to explain what's actually going on, then. You never really told me." She takes the bacon out of the pan and goes to the table, sitting in her usual spot and waiting for me to join her. When I sit down I'm not sure how to begin. How do I explain this to her?

"We're not together, exactly," I start, running my fingers through my hair. "We're not seeing other people, but we're not officially a couple or anything."

"But you want to be," she concludes. Without having to think about it I'm nodding my head in agreement.

"But Carmen is..." I sigh, smiling small. "She's stubborn and she doesn't trust people."

"She obviously trusts you, though. She did come half way around the world with you."

"She's never dated anyone before, Mum."

Her eyes go wide and she takes a moment to let that sink in. It really is strange, especially when you've met Carmen. It's strange because she's so incredible and she's exactly the kind of girl majority of males would go after. She's easy going, funny, smart, athletic, gorgeous, and she's not needy or high maintenance like some girls out there. She's amazing.

"As surprising as that is, I don't think it's relevant. I can see quite plainly even in the last day that I've witnessed your relationship that you two are completely taken with each other. Completely smitten, like a newly married couple or something."

"What? No, I'm not in love with her yet," I disagree. Mum tries not to smile.

"Sorry. My mistake."

Holy fuck. Am I? That would be...no. No, it's too soon and we're not even together. I can't be in love with her.

"Anyway, what should I do?" I ask, my mind reeling from her last statement.

"Talk to her," she says, like it's the simplest thing in the world. "She came here with you, I don't think she's going to refuse to be in a relationship with you, Harry."

"She makes me nervous," I admit quietly, tracing the rim of my mug with my fingertip. "She's so unpredictable."

"That's good for you," she says reassuringly. "Carmen is good for you."

She pats my arm and stands to continue with breakfast. While I want to believe that Carmen feels the same way that I do, there's always a shred of doubt in my mind that stems from the very real possibility of her surprising me. Because really, when does she not? Every part of me wants to believe that this could be a simple conversation, me asking a question and her saying yes. It shouldn't be that far fetched since she came for Christmas thousands of miles away with me, but it still could be and it's scary as fuck not to know. Usually when you ask someone to be your girlfriend you pretty much know they're going to say yes. Not in this case.

Mum tells me about her friends and work and volunteering and everything else, and really all I have to do is nod along. We always have at least one conversation like this when I come home and it is nice to hear about her life and what she's doing. I don't talk to my family as much as I probably should when I'm gone, so it feels like I miss a lot. Plus, sometimes it's like my mother is in high school with all the drama her friends create, so it's entertaining.

While we're eating breakfast Carmen comes down the stairs, my sweater back on and almost completely concealing her shorts. She rubs her eye with the back of her hand as her bare feet pad across the hardwood floors.

"Good morning, Carmen," Mum chirps. Carmen smiles.

"Good morning." She then looks at me and her smile grows a little, almost unnoticeable.

"Do you want some coffee?" I ask, setting my fork down and standing.

"I can get it." When she looks at all the cupboards it's clear she doesn't know where the mugs actually are, so as I walk over I laugh at her. "Don't be mean, Harry!"

"What?" I ask, still laughing as she folds her arms and pouts. "Sorry, babe." She pushes at my chest when I try to hug her but eventually gives in, arms hanging limply at her sides. "Hug me, woman."

"No. You're mean."

"I wasn't laughing at you, I just think you're so cute." She reaches around me to unhook my hands, bringing them to her sides as I kiss the top of her head.

"Whatever," she says. When she steps away I can tell she's trying not to smile and with my Mum's eyes obviously on both of us I take out a plate for her breakfast. Carmen sits down with her mug beside my mum and across from where I was sitting, and when I set her plate in front of her she mumbles a quiet thank-you.

"So, the Christmas Gala is tonight," Mum says. The place she always volunteers at has this big Christmas fundraiser every year. It's quite the party and they raise money and get loads of gifts donated for the families they help. "Are you two coming? Gemma and Oliver are going to be there."

"His name is Oliver?" I ask, my face twisted. "Seriously?"

"What's wrong with that?" Carmen asks.

"Oliver," I repeat. She laughs.

"Harry, you do this every time. Try to be nice, okay?" Mum asks, sounding a little annoyed. "And answer the question."

"You want to go?" I ask, looking at Carmen. She shrugs.

"Sure. Sounds fun." She looks at my mother with a little worry. "Is it formal? I brought a dress, but nothing too fancy."

"Gemma has loads of dresses you could borrow. She should be here soon." She stands and sets her plate in the sink. "I have a few things to do and I have to help set up, but I'll see you both tonight. Harry, wear a suit, okay?"

"What? Why?" I half-wine, sort of joking but also sort of not. She just shakes her head, not bothering with a reason knowing I'm going to do it either way. I look at Carmen. "I'm not wearing a tie."

She rolls her eyes. "Do whatever you want, you weirdo."

I have to bite the inside of my cheek so I don't smile. She seems content to sit here in silence, so I just watch her eat with my chin leant into my palm. Her hair is crazier than it normally is when she wakes up, but she never bothered to fix it. That's something I really admire about her. I don't think she feels like she has to impress me. Carmen is who she is and if you don't like it, that's alright with her. I've always wanted to be that way, to not care about what people think, but I don't think that I am.

"Stop staring at me," she says, putting more eggs in her mouth without looking up at me.

"Nah."

"Harry." She looks at me with raised eyebrows and I raise mine in response. "You're creepy."

"Creepy is a strong word. What do you want to do today?"

"I don't know." She sets her fork down and holds her mug between both hands. "You could show me that oh-so-exciting field you were talking about."

"Hey." I point on finger at her in a scolding manner. "Don't make fun."

She laughs. "Do you want to show me around your town or not?"

"Are you going to be this fun all day?"

"I don't know, I haven't decided." She stands and carries her plate over to the sink, running the water. My body automatically gravitates towards her, sliding up behind her with my hands on her stomach. She seems to lean back against me, still cleaning up the mess in the sink that she had no hand in making.

"You can leave that," I mutter, my lips against her cheek. She sighs.

"I don't mind."

"It's not your mess."

"You're right. You should probably do the washing, then." She turns around and holds a brush out for me, a cute little smile on her face. When I lean down to kiss her she leans away, and she laughs a little at what is probably a wounded expression. "No way. Your mother could walk in."

"And?"

"And, that's weird!" When I try again she laughs and pushes at my chest with her wet hands. "Stop! And put some clothes on, jeez. Have some decency."

"Everyone's used to it," I assure her. She keeps dodging me, so I hold her face between my hands. "Will you please just kiss me?"

"I don't want your mom to see you trying to stick your tongue down my throat."

"I'll try to keep my tongue to myself."

"Harry," she laughs. I lean down closer and she sighs.

Her fists remain against my chest, just resting there without pushing me away. Her smile fades as I lean in closer and when her eyes flutter shut I quickly press my lips to hers. They remind shut tight, and in my playful attempts to pry them apart she starts laughing, her arms looping around my neck. I quickly peck her lips a few times and then all over her face, and she just laughs, a light and happy sound that makes me want to explode from happiness.

"Do you have to do that right by the food?"

The brush in Carmen's hand falls to the ground and she stiffens, her arms retracting from me. Her wide eyes look to the doorway where my annoying sister's voice came from and I smile at how nervous she suddenly is.

"You always did have the worst timing," I say, turning to look at Gemma. She rolls her eyes.

"Nice to see you, too." I finally release Carmen and go to hug my sister, my smile fading when I see some guys step in the house. "Harry, did you grow again?"

"No, you just keep getting shorter," I tease her. She laughs and I stand up straight again. "Who's this?"

"That's Oliver," she says happily. He walks up behind her and holds his hand out to me.

"Nice to meet you," he says. He's wearing a fucking suit. Who wears a suit all the time?

"Harry," I say, squeezing his hand a little too hard. I notice him wince a little, and it pleases me that he's probably a wimp. As I'm staring him down Gemma clears her throat, and when he flicks her head in Carmen's direction I realize I almost completely forgot about her.

"Who's that?" Gemma asks. I turn and look at Carmen, still staring at us, the brush still on the floor. I hold my hand out to her and she walks over, sliding her fingers between mine.

"This is Carmen," I say, looking down at her. She smiles and looks at Gemma. "Carmen, my sister Gemma."

"It's nice to meet you," Carmen says. "You look a lot like Harry."

Gemma laughs. "I've heard that before. You know he talks about you endlessly?"

"He does?" Carmen laughs and squeezes my hand.

"Literally all the time," Gem continues.

"We should probably do those dishes," I say, tugging Carmen back to the sink. They both laugh and I get the brush from the floor to do the job.

"So, you talk about me?" she asks, bumping her hip against mine. I shrug.

"Not all the time." Fucking red cheeks accompany the statement so she knows I'm lying.

"You're cute when you're embarrassed."

---

"I kissed a girl down there," I tell Carmen, her hand tucked in mine as I point a finger down the stream. When we got to the field she stayed pretty quiet, so I'm just pointing random shit out to her.

"That's romantic," she teases.

"Oh, it was. We were, like, against a tree. It was pretty steamy."

She just laughs and we keep walking. It's a little cold right now, but I guess that's alright for us. My hand that's holding hers is plenty warm, the other one stuffed into my pocket unless I'm pointing something out. Fresh snow crunches under our feet and there is nothing I wouldn't give to get inside her head, to see what she's thinking. She's been so quiet today. I'm not even sure why she asked to come here, but I'm glad she did. There's no part of my life I want hidden from her.

"Everything okay?" I ask quietly. She looks up at me.

"Of course. Why?"

"You're so quiet. It's making me nervous."

She smiles. "I'm just thinking, that's all."

"About what?"

"You." I stop walking and she does too because of our interlaced fingers. "What?"

"What about me?" My playful mood has vanished and now I feel like this could be a good time for us to figure out what we're doing, to apply some sort of label to whatever is between us. Carmen sighs and shrugs.

"Lots of things, I guess." When I don't say anything she takes a deep breath. "Can I ask about your parents?"

"My parents?" Not where I thought the conversation was going, but okay. "I guess...why?"

"Their divorce...I don't know, you never really told me about it."

Oh. My Mum and Dad, not Mum and Robin. So, she wants to know what happened I guess? It happened ages ago so I never really thought about it, but maybe it makes sense for her to be curious. I was so young at the time that I didn't really know much of the details, and as I got older I didn't care to know. They weren't together anymore and that's all the information I needed. Then Robin came into the picture and everyone's happy and I hardly see my Dad anymore.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have asked. It's probably hard to talk about," she says shaking her head.

"No, no it's fine. Sorry, I was just surprised. I don't mind to tell you, but maybe we should go back to the car? I'm fucking freezing."

She laughs and nods in agreement as I pull her towards the car. This trip is probably the best thing that could have happened for us. She's finally being the way I always wanted her to, acting like she's my girlfriend. She's outwardly affectionate and she seems comfortable with me in a way that I don't see her act with anyone else. I take a lot of pride in that.

When we get in the car I turn it on immediately, waiting for it to heat up and putting the heat on full blast. Carmen rubs her hands together and stares out the windshield. It really wasn't a big deal to take her here, but now that I"m thinking about all of this I guess it was.

"That's how I found this place," I say, breaking the silence. "They fought all the time, and one day I couldn't take it anymore so I just left. And I came here." It's weird thinking about it, like it wasn't really me. "I just sat in the grass for hours until it started getting dark. They didn't even realize I was gone until I walked in the front door."

"Come here." She suddenly moves over the console and slides into the back seat, patting it for me to join her. The smile on my face has got to be comical as I awkwardly manoeuvre to the back next to her. She tucks her legs up so they're overlapping mine, bringing my arm around her shoulder and wrapping hers around my middle.

"What's this for?" I ask quietly, my hand lightly tracing patterns on her arm.

"If you're going to look so sad I need to be able to hug you," she says. "Did something happen between them? Or were they just unhappy?"

"Honestly...I never asked. I was only seven when they split, so I didn't get many details. As I got older I didn't really want to know. My Dad moved to London and we saw him less and less. Technically they had always had shared custody, but every time my Mum arranged for us to go see him he found a way to bail."

"That sucks." She kisses my cheek and I close my eyes. "I'm sorry."

"He sucks anyway," I say quietly. "Classic promises he never kept, saying all the right things but never following through. I was pretty young when I gave up on him. Robin is more my father than he is and I've only known him since I was fifteen."

She doesn't say anything for a few minutes, which is fine with me. Not that it's hard to talk about, but thinking about my father just irks me. He's such an asshole and I don't want anything to do with him, but he's still my Dad and it's annoying that there are some ties you just can't cut. As much as I wish that I could.

"Why do you wear this?" she asks quietly, taking the crucifix pendent in her fingers. "If you don't have a relationship with him?"

"Good question." I stare down at it, wondering the same thing myself. "I got so used to wearing it. It was originally my grandfather's, so it just felt wrong to get rid of it, I guess."

"When was the last time you saw him?"

"Umm....maybe before I left for school? When I was sixteen or seventeen."

"Harry, that sucks. I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing," I whisper, smiling sadly and placing my hand against her cheek. "It's not your fault."

"Yeah, but you don't deserve it," she says quietly. "And I don't like seeing you sad. It's the worst." She places her hand over mine and just stares up at me.

"You want to kiss me, don't you?" I smirk at her and she just smiles.

"Shut up," she laughs, tilting her lips up to mine. As soon as they connect all the joking is gone and I'm holding her lips against mine as they work together, her hand sliding into my hair. All the layers between us seem really inconvenient, and she seems to think the same thing because her fingers are working at the zipper of my coat and she's on her knees so she can straddle me. When my coat is off she's already unbuttoning her own, and when I push the thick material back from her shoulders she kisses me so hard that I'm not even sure how to react.

There are goosebumps peppering her skin when my hands slide under her shirt, but it's a thousand degrees in here so I don't think it's from the cold. Carmen doesn't waste any time, fisting the bottom of my shirt and hauling it over my head. I try to ignore the hesitation I feel when I reach to do the same, and to help my confidence a little she raises her arms to help me. This is the furthest we've gone is a really long time and it's almost too fucking much for me to handle. When did it get this easy to get this hard?

Carmen grinds her crotch against mine and my fingertips dig into her hips. She tugs on my hair a little in response and I lift her hips myself, bringing them back down to create more friction. She whimpers and her lips leave mine for a split second before they're back, her tongue battling mine and her bare skin pressed to my torso is enough to drive me crazy. Her hips move against mine a few more times before something settles in my mind and it makes me stop.

"Fuck," I hiss, my head leaning back against the seat. We're both breathing heavy and I'm honestly sweating. This feels better than I imagined in my head, but it feels wrong. I don't want to do this for the first time in the back seat of my car.

"Are there any soundproof rooms in your house?" Carmen asks quietly, her finger tracing down the centre of my chest. I open my eyes and smile at her.

"Not one," I mumble, my hands moving up and down her sides slowly. Carmen's eyes bore into mine and for the first time I feel like she wants me as much as I want her.

"Why'd you stop?" she whispers. I lift my head and kiss her again, slowly.

"This isn't how I pictured...this happening," I admit. Our hands lace together on either side of us and Carmen gently bumps her nose against mine.

"You're so cute," she says, smiling. She kisses me again, full of longing and so many moments that have passed between us. "Do you really want to wait?"

She kisses across my jaw, painfully slowly down my neck and across my collarbone while my breathing slowly gets faster and faster. When she comes full circle I pull her body so tight against mine that it almost hurts, our lips moving fast and desperate and her arms tight around my neck. I really don't want to fucking wait, but do I have a choice? I don't even have a condom with me.

"I like kissing you," she says against my lips. I smile and she twirls one of my curls around her finger. "We could just do that for a while."

"I could do that forever." She giggles and I kiss the tip of her nose.

"You're so cheesy."

Notes

GUYS we're on the second page of the popular pages!!! well we were last time i checked but thats so exciting and its all thanks you all of you amazing readers!!!!! love youuuuuu :D

also i totally stole a line from the movie. couldnt resist cuz i know you all know how he says it so hopefully thats how you read it :P i would also like to point out that i know nothing about harrys actual dad. this is just the story.

also this one is super dee duper long just cuz ive been kinda mia and havent updated in a while. THE CONCERT WAS UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE I CANT EVEN EXPLAIN. it was so good. so so so good. and when they started harry came running over to in front of where my seats were and i died. theyre so adorable it was so greatttt aaaaaahhhhhh

so yeah i hope you like this chapter :) the next one will be great im excited. so please keep voting!!!!!! and subscribing!!!

you guys are da bomb