Harry's POV

I'm not saying I'm nervous but...yeah. I'm fucking nervous. Is there any other way to feel when you're finally going on a date with the girl you've been whatever the hell I've been doing with Carmen for like three months? No. It's fine, probably normal. Although, the way my heart is flying inside my chest right now probably isn't normal. That is probably borderline heart attack.

I finally knock on the door and I hear two voices bickering for a minute before Ivy opens it.

"You're still here?" I ask her.

"We didn't spend the whole day getting ready," she says, rolling her eyes. She steps to the side so I can go in. "We watched a movie and did some other stuff. Not important. You look nice, by the way."

I opted for a a blazer-type jacket, which is black, and this dark red and black striped shirt. And black jeans, but I always wear those.

"Thanks. Carmen is here, right?"

"Yeah, she's just being stubborn. Hold on, I'll get her."

She walks over to Carmen's room and closes herself in with her. I hope she's not being stubborn because of me. When I hear Ivy say something about her being hopeless I figure it has more to do with wardrobe.

"I'm not wearing heels!" Carmen shouts, suddenly swinging the door open. "Heels aren't going to make the night better, you freak."

"They complete the look I imagined in my head," Ivy says hotly. She huffs and puts her purse around her shoulder, putting her hands on Carmen's shoulders. "Have fun. Use protection. Don't mess up your hair."

"Get out," Carmen laughs. "Thanks, Ivy."

"You kids have fun," she sings, smiling as she walks by me and out of the apartment. The half of Carmen I could see disappears again. For the first time in a while I feel a little out of place in this apartment and with her. I'm not used to that anymore.

"Sorry," she says, stepping out of her room. She puts the longs strap of her purse over her shoulder. "Ready?"

My mouth falls open when I realize what she's wearing. Black dress, black leather jacket, black shoes, really faintly black sheer tights. I'm not even....wow.

"Harry." I look up at her face again and this time I'm the one blushing. Carmen smiles and slowly walks towards me again. Thank the fucking heavens she didn't wear heels. It would be too much. "Are you okay?"

"What?" I clear my throat and nod my head, pushing my fingers through my hair. "Yeah, yeah. I'm good, yeah."

"Yeah?" she teases. She reaches forward and smooths out the collar of my jacket, tugging on it a little. "You look handsome. Very sophisticated."

"You look really hot," I blurt. She raises her eyebrows and laughs a little. Fuck. "I mean- shit."

She laughs again and puts her arms around my neck. "You're adorable when you're nervous."

"Caught on to that, did you?"

"A little."

"I actually brought you something. I didn't want Ivy to see them and tease me, so I left them out in the hall."

She releases me so I can head back out there, and when I step back in with the bundle of flowers she smiles widely. First dates, right? Have to do them right, I guess.

"No one's ever gotten me flowers before," she murmurs as I step in front of her again. She takes them and looks up at me shyly, batting her eyelashes. "Thank you."

She turns and takes them to the kitchen, searching for a vase but eventually settling for a really tall glass instead. As she's filling it with water I can't help myself, wrapping my arms around her waist and resting my chin on her shoulder.

"I kinda like you," I whisper to her. She smiles.

"You're growing on me," she whispers back. She turns her head to kiss me and places the small bouquet I got in the water. To be honest, staying here and watching movies sounds like a way better idea, but I missed her fucking birthday like the prick that I am so I have to do something special.

---

"I hate the waiter," Carmen says as the guy walks away from our table. "I think he's gay and angry that I'm sitting here with you and he's not. That's how handsome you look."

"He's not really my type."

"Yeah, he's too tall for you."

I just shake my head, once again lacking some sort of comment. She's got me speechless tonight and that doesn't happen to me very often. Getting nervous around girls, who doesn't? But right now it's too the point of dysfunction and that never happens to me. Also, I never thought sitting across from someone at dinner would disappoint me. I want to be right beside her but that would look weird I guess.

"Can I ask you something?" she says, leaning forward on her elbows. I lean forward as well and nod my head. "Why don't you ever talk about your mom?"

My shoulders shrug, small smile on my lips. "Honestly? Being away from home this much isn't easy." I pick at a chip on the side of my plate so I have somewhere else to look. "If I don't think about my family then I don't miss them."

"So you miss it?"

"Yeah. I mean, not really the place so much. I love where I grew up, but I don't know if I could stay there forever." I honestly have no clue where I want to live after I graduate next year.

"What are they like?" she asks, her head tiling to the side.

"My mum is just like...selfless. Completely focused on everyone else and she's extremely maternal. She likes watching me sleep because she likes to know I'm home and settled, is what she told me anyway." I laugh and Carmen does as well, and I feel a little guilty and confused when I see a hint of sadness in her eyes. "Gemma is extremely independent. And annoying."

"You were probably just as annoying."

"I was an angel, I'll have you know."

She laughs and sits back as the waiter places our food in front of us. The rest of the night is a blur of conversation and embarrassing staring on my part, and the entire time all I can think about is how happy I feel. Someone's never showed this much interest in my family or my old friends or my old life or anything. Even my future. It feels like we spent the entire evening talking about me, and every time I'd try to turn it back around she'd just ask me more questions. By the time we're done eating my face actually hurts form smiling.

"Come on." I stand and hold my hand out for her, which she takes after she's got her jacket on. "There's somewhere I want to take you."

---

"Harry, I'm not dressed for this," Carmen says, laughing and clambering over the rocks behind me. "I knew I should have worn jeans."

"I love that dress." I turn to smile at her and she looks down at the ground. "It's not much further, anyway."

"Were you drunk when you found this place?"

"No," I laugh. "Why do you ask?"

"I'm trying to figure out why you were here at all."

There's some sort of weird tree that marks the spot I usually turn at. I've been down here enough times to know the way, but it's always a little further than I remember. Carmen's other hand grips my arm when she almost falls. When I turn around to make sure she's alright she glares at me. Playfully, let's hope.

"If I roll my ankle and can't play volleyball, I'm going to kill you in your sleep," she says. I laugh quite loud and keep pulling her along, under a branch and through the last ten yards or so. When we step out into the area I wanted to show her, she stops and stares. I've never taken anyone here; it's nice to have something that's mine in a place so far from home.

"Wow," she breathes. It's a really small clearing, something you only see in movies or picture books. There's a stream that runs through the forest that comes to a wider spot here, deep enough to swim in when it's warm enough. The forest is much thicker on the other side, but here there's a grassy area and some huge rocks.

With Carmen's hand in mine I pull her to the flatter one that sits along the river. I moved another rock here weeks ago so I could climb up easier, so I get on top of it so I can help her. When I sit down I pull her to sit between my legs, her back against my chest, her hands rested on my legs.

"How did you find it?" she asks quietly.

"I just started walking. I was pissed about something- I don't remember what- and I just found it. Took me ages to find it the second time, but after that I just kept coming."

"Why?"

"I had to have somewhere cool to take girls." She smacks my leg and I laugh, putting my arms around her chest. "I'm kidding, Carmen. You're the first person I've ever showed this to."

"Really?" she looks up at me, leaning her body to the side.

"Yeah." She smiles and turns back around, putting her hands on my arms that are in front of her. My heart starts hammering to the point where she can probably feel it when I mutter, "You're my first for a lot of things."

She gasps. "Oh my gosh, you're a virgin?"

I can't help but laugh, quite loud, and she chuckles at her own joke. I love that she's comfortable with me now, that she doesn't feel awkward or embarrassed when I say stuff like that, but that she can make a joke or just be okay with it.

As we sit there in silence there's part of me that never wants to leave. Times like this, when this feeling of absolute serenity is hovering over me is when I know that I'm falling for her. Falling faster and harder than I ever could have imagined and there's nothing I want more than for her to come home with me tomorrow.

---

"That's the last time you're going to see me in a dress for a long time," Carmen says when she steps out of her room. She's wearing tattered old boxers- that I really hope have always been hers and not someone else's- and the sweater I leant her this morning.

"It's freezing in here," I note, gladly folding the blanket she brought around my legs. She sits next to me and cuddles up to my side. "You sure you want to sleep here? I actually have heat in my house."

"What kind of girl do you think I am?" Carmen looks up at me innocently. "I can't go back to your house with you on the first date."

Sometimes I feel like we both forget that we've actually had sex already. It's really strange, since all we've done is kiss since then, and when I think about that night it's like I'm remembering it from someone else's perspective, like the two people together that night were strangers to both of us. We've changed so much since then and I'm not even sure when it happened.

"I was just trying to be a gentleman," I explain, tugging on the strings of the sweater. "I'd sleep on the couch of course."

"Right, of course."

"But if we slept here then I'd have to sleep in your bed."

She raises her eyebrows. "You would?"

"Well, yeah. I've got some serious body heat to offer."

She laughs and shakes her head, neither turning down nor accepting the offer. It's not that I expected anything tonight, but I don't want her staying in this freezing apartment alone. If she wants to it's not like I can force her, though. I think I know that about her by now.

"Do you want to watch a movie or something?" I ask, combing my fingers through her hair. Ivy had curled it, but by now it's almost back to it's regular straight. She sighs.

"Can we just sit here for a while?"

"Of course."

"I had a really nice time tonight," she says quietly. She looks up at me. "Thank you."

"Happy birthday," I mutter, lifting my other hand and tracing my thumb along her jaw. "I'm sorry I missed it."

"This was way better."

I want to ask her about tomorrow, ask her if she plans on coming home with me. If she had an answer, she would have said something, though. I know she wouldn't have forgotten something like that, and I think me asking might freak her out. I'm not really sure what my next move should be, but I do know that I really want her to come with me. Leaving wouldn't be so bad then.

Instead of saying anything I just press my lips to hers. Her hand caresses my face, the tips of her fingers crossing into my hair. There's so much more I want to do, but for now this is all. We both need some more definition in our relationship before things go further than this.

"I'm going to make some coffee," she says quietly. "Decaf. Do you want some?"

I nod and kiss her once more before she stands to go to the kitchen. What I wouldn't give to get inside her head, to see exactly how she feels about me, about us. It's been driving me crazy for the last few weeks because there's so much uncertainty.

Carmen's phone, resting on the coffee table, starts to vibrate with a phone call. She half turns at the sound. "Can you answer that?"

"Sure." I pick up the phone, un unidentified number on the screen. "Hello?"

"Hello?"

There's a pause. "Umm...hi? Who is this?"

"Sorry, I think I have the wrong number. Is this Carmen Lewis's phone?"

"Yeah, it is. What did you say your name was?" Carmen turns to look at me, mouthing 'who is it.' I shrug and she starts walking over.

"I didn't. It's...it's Gale."

"Gale?" I look up at Carmen and her face drops, colour draining. She leaps towards me and holds out her hand.

"Harry, give me the phone," she says.

"Yes," she says slowly. "Carmen's mother."

My mouth drops open and Carmen yanks the phone from my hand. She ends the call without even holding it to her ear and stares at the screen, a mixture of shock, confusion and pure terror on her face. Her mother? She said...

"Carmen." I stand and she looks at me chest, clearly uneasy. "Who is Gale?" Could it be her step mother? Some sort of mother-figure that she never told me about? She said her mother was dead and I'm pretty sure they can't call from the beyond.

"Gale is..." She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. "Gale is my mother."

Notes

shits going doooooooown

GUYS AH SO MANY VOTES :) IM SO HAPPY

so like...i know i didn't really spend too much time on the actual date-y part of this chapter, but i dont like that :P them just sitting there talking seems like a boring thing to read and to write sooo i decided to skip it mostly.

also....i couldnt remember if i already gave her a last name :P i dont think i did but i was too lazy to go through ever chapter and look, so i just regave her one lol


so yeaaaaaaa awesome response last time :) i reeeeeaaaaally hope you guys like this one cuz i spent a lot of time on it :)