Harry's POV

"No way. I'm not watching that movie with the two of you," I refuse, shaking my head at Mel. "I said you could pick, but I get veto power."

"It's funny, I promise!" She says. "Why would-"

Someone knocks on the front door and she immediately stands to get it. Me and Zayn both laugh a little since this isn't her house so why would she get the door, but we let her do it anyway. Mel is just one of those people; she does things without being asked and she likes to help. She just finished cleaning our kitchen. Apparently she was trying to wait until one of us did, but it became too much for her.

"Push for a horror," Zayn says quietly. "I hate that movie."

I laugh and look at the door. Mel looks a little confused.

"Are you looking for someone?" she asks. Her face scrunches up a a little.

"Who is it?" I ask. She keeps staring at the person.

"She looks familiar, but I don't know her. She's walking away now, but she looks like she's crying." Mel looks at us and slides on some shoes. "I'm going to go see if she's okay."

Something pulls me to the door. Someone crying on our doorstep? A girl that Mel...

"Holy fuck," I exclaim, jumping up from my chair. The door hits the wall when I swing it open, and when I run out of the house I don't even have shoes on. The water from when it rained this morning runs through my socks and when I get to the sidewalk to see past the huge fucking hedges part of me thinks I might actually be seeing things.

Carmen. Carmen with her massive backpack on her shoulders, ripped black jeans, a flowing white top and a jean jacket over it. She wipes her hand under her eyes and Mel places her hand on her arm in a comforting way, but they seem to be smiling. Mel's eyes catch me and she smiles at me. Carmen seems to freeze up, and slowly but surely her head turns towards me. The expression on my face is probably priceless, eyes wide and mouth slightly open. Hers is overwhelming. The tears in her eyes, dark circles under them and her bottom lip between her teeth. She's beautiful.

Mel pulls her attention away from me and I take the opportunity to breathe. It's been so long since I've seen her and while it knocks the wind out of me, it's also fresh air in my lungs. Just the sight of her, of her actually looking at me and I feel like I can breathe again.

My heart starts pounding when Mel starts walking over with Carmen slightly behind her, as if she's hiding from me. Her eyes are anywhere but me and when they stop in front of me it's as if Mel doesn't even exist.

"I'll let you two talk," she says. She pats my arm as she walks away, but still Carmen is all that exists. Silence hangs in the air with all the words we aren't saying, and for who fucking knows how long we just stand there. She stares at my stomach while I try to form some kind of sentence, anything really.

She suddenly steps around me and walks towards the house. After a minute of watching I realize I should probably follow, and I get there in time to open the door for her. Zayn and Mel have cleared out, but instead of stopping in the living room Carmen walks straight up the stairs with me on her heels. She walks into my room and stands in the middle of it, arms crossed over her chest. Her eyes linger on my bed where City of Ashes, the second book in the series I started because she likes it, is sitting.

"You look amazing," I say finally, breaking the icy silence but only adding to the heavy layer of tension between us. Her eyes close briefly.

"We need to talk," she says quietly. Her voice is like music to my ears, even though those four words are never a good sign. But honestly, it doesn't matter what we need to talk about. Just talking is already making me feel more sane than I have in over three weeks.

"Okay," I agree immediately. I sit on the edge of my bed, my finger pushing my hair back from my forehead. This is it. This is where I finally find out what happened.

She seems stuck in place, not sure where to go or how to act or what to say to me. She doesn't know what to do with herself, I can tell. There are so many questions I want to ask, but I have no idea how to start or what to say to her that won't upset her more than she already is. That's the last thing I want to do, but if she leaves before I find out why she shut me out of her life then I'll actually go insane. I'll just lose my mind.

"Carmen," I say quietly. My voice startles her a little, and if breaks my heart to see how torn up she is. I didn't expect her to be...just as upset as I am. She's so much stronger than I could ever be. "Can I...what happened?"

"I saw you," she whispers. She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, then finally her icy blue eyes meet mine and my stomach flips nervously, excitedly.

"Saw me what?"

"When you left to go to the bathroom..." She takes another deep breath. "Niall was looking for you...when I went to the...."

"Carmen." I stand and step towards her, and to my surprise she doesn't take a step back from me. Her eyes grow wide, though, and she looks like a scared little kid when she looks up at me. I want to reach out to her, but that's probably a mistake. "Tell me what happened."

"A girl was in the bathroom with you."

My eyes go wide and I feel her staring at my face, probably to gage my reaction. When the fuck was I talking to any girl but Carmen at that party? And when was there one in the bathroom with me?

"I knew it," she says, laughing dryly. I'm too stunned to respond and before I know it she's walking away. I was never with a girl. I don't know what the fuck she's talking about and if this is why she's been shutting me out then that actually pisses me off. Why the fuck would I want anyone else? Why does she think I would do something like that to her after everything that happened, after everything I did to make her trust me?

"Carmen!" I shout, running after her. She's already at the front door, and she doesn't even look at me before she walks right out. I run after her and my hand wraps around her arm to pull her back. She whips around so fast that I don't see her hand raise. The sharp sting on my cheek is nothing but shocking.

"Don't," she spits. "Don't touch me, Harry."

She fucking slapped me?

"You're wrong," I finally manage to get out. She rips her arm away from my hand and tries to keep walking, so instead I follow. I don't want to get punched.

"Whatever, Harry. Just leave me alone. It was a mistake to come here in the first place."

"No, just listen to me for a minute!"

"I wasted weeks listening you your bull shit," she says, suddenly stopping and spinning around.

"I would never do something like that to you, you know that!"

"No, I really don't, Harry. I don't know anything about you!"

"That's a lie and you know it," I argue. "Carmen, you know me better than anyone."

"I'm not falling for this," she says, taking a few steps backwards. She turns to walk away again and I run to get in front of her, officially stopping her again. "Get out of my way, Harry."

"No. Listen to me for a minute, okay?" She folds her arms but doesn't say anything. "Why do you think I was....what was I doing?"

"You were in the bathroom, remember? You left to go to the bathroom and Niall said you had his phone, so I tried to go find you and when I got to the bathroom there was some...there was a girl waiting. The door opened and I saw a guy pull her inside."

When she's done I'm completely confused. I don't know what the fuck she's talking about, because there was definitely no one with me when I was in the bathroom. I was definitely alone.

"Are you even going to say anything?" she asks, frustration clear in her tone.

"Fuck, sorry, I'm just confused. I don't understand...there was no one with me, Carmen. I swear, I didn't pull anyone into the bathroom with me. I was alone."

"Forgive me if that's a little hard to believe, seeing as the night you and I met we ended up in a bathroom."

"Do you realize what argument you just made?"

She rolls her eyes and tries to step around me, but I step in front of her again. "Harry-"

"Carmen, I know you're pissed at me but I didn't do anything like that! There was no one in there with me, I don't know what you saw but it wasn't me fucking around with some girl in a bathroom."

"Then who was? You said you were going to the bathroom and then-"

"Wait, hold on." I hold one hand up and she breathes a frustrated sigh. "What bathroom were you looking at?"

"The back of the house, the one you showed me earlier in the night," she says, like she's talking to an idiot. "Why does that matter?"

"I went upstairs," I realize quickly. I can't help but smile. "Carmen, I wasn't in that bathroom. Someone was in there and I wanted to get out of there- with you- so I went to find the one upstairs."

The relief I feel in my chest is almost overwhelming, and the first thing that comes to mind is that I want to kiss her. I didn't do what she thought I did and that means there's nothing wrong between us. If nothing happened then she can't be upset with me and I get her back. She doesn't seem to share my relief, though, and she looks skeptical at best.

"Wait, you believe me, right?" I ask. She bites her lip and looks at my chest. "Carmen, I would never lie to you. I've never lied to you, you have to believe me."

The next few moments of silence pass slower than days, and while I stare at her waiting for some kind of response all I can think about is how much I missed her. It upsets me that she thinks I would do something like that to her, but even if I wanted to I don't think I could ever be upset with her.

"You went upstairs," she says quietly. It's a mix between a statement and a question, so she must still be deciding if she believes me or not.

"I promise I was upstairs," I confirm. Her fingers push through her hair and she turns away from me slightly, staring out at the road. Please believe me. "Can we go back inside?"

She finally looks up at me and I can't up but smile. Her look has softened exponentially, but I can almost see the barriers she's put up between us. I can't imagine the last few weeks being easy for either of us, and I don't blame her for being wary about this. Especially considering her view on this kind of thing to start with. She can be cautious all she wants as long as she lets me try to break through all of her walls.

In a small act of bravery I reach for her hand. She lets me take it, and when I pull her back to the house we both stay silent. This is progress, and being around her makes my whole body feel even again; I can finally relax now. When we get inside I take my socks off since they're completely soaked, and Carmen takes off her shoes. When I get back from tossing my socks in the laundry room she's still standing in the doorway, staring at the living room.

I decide to let her do her thing. She knows she can do whatever she wants, so I just plug in the kettle and get the things I need to make some tea. She slowly ventures into the place and comes over to the kitchen, sitting up on the counter beside the fridge and basically as far from me as she can get.

"I hate tea," she says when I take the teabags out. I raise my eyebrows at her. I guess we won't have tea, then.

I make some hot chocolate instead, and she hops down from her spot to take the mug. Without a word she takes it to the living room, planting herself on the bigger couch with her knees pulled up towards her chest. I sit on the opposite end with my mug, and she doesn't look at me or say anything for a few minutes while she blows on her drink and then takes the tiniest sips, which is probably the cutest thing I've ever seen.

She's here. Carmen is here sitting beside me and even though she hasn't said she believes me, or hasn't really said anything, it's still something and it's better than her walking away again or telling me she never wants to speak to me. Some people may think that I'm pathetic for thinking about all of this like this, for just being okay with everything now that it's sorted out, but who cares? I don't, as long as she's here.

"I'm sorry I slapped you," she murmurs without looking at me. I laugh a little, partly in relief that she said actual words.

"You got me pretty good."

She looks over at me and her eyes go wide. "Oh my gosh, Harry, your cheek is red!"

"Is it?" The skin is a little tender and when I lift my hand to touch it she sets her mug on the coffee table. "I'm okay."

"Come here." She starts walking to the kitchen and I set my cup down so I can follow. She takes something out of the freezer and sits on the counter, beckoning me closer. Almost shyly I move to stand between her legs, and she wraps something frozen in a tea towel before gently holding it against my cheek. My hands rest on either side of her legs, not sure if she'd appreciate me touching her that way right now.

"I really am fine," I mutter quietly. Being this close to her makes my head feel dizzy.

"Shut up." Her small smile tells me she's joking. She probably feels bad, so if this is how she wants to make it up to me then I'm okay with that. Her breath shakes when she sighs; she must be a little nervous.

"You believe me, right?" I ask finally. She sighs and her eyes close for a moment.

"I don't know," she whispers. "I want to."

"Then trust me."

"It's not that simple, Harry," she says quietly, adjusting the ice pack.

"Why not?"

"It just isn't. For the last three weeks I've been walking around thinking the one person I trust the most besides my father hooked up with someone else and...Harry, that was so hard for me."

"But I didn't actually do what you thought I did," I remind her. I put my hand over hers and bring the ice away from my face.

She sighs. "Still...thinking what I saw was true...I've never felt that way." She shakes her head. "I never want to feel like that ever again. I couldn't..."

"So you're pushing me away for something I didn't even do?" I ask, trying not to get upset. This isn't fair. I didn't do anything, there's no reason for her to push me away.

"It's not about what you did or didn't do, Harry," Carmen says. "It's about me. I don't do this and all of this drama is exactly why. I don't want to...my entire life has been spent trying to avoid getting hurt and it still happens. I just want to minimize the opportunities."

"Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"That's a weak excuse, Carmen. That's not fair and you know it."

I step back from her and walk towards the living room. The last thing I should be doing is getting upset with her, but this is making me crazy. She doesn't see it, she doesn't get how much I actually care about her. She's using whatever has happened to her in the past to push me away and it's ridiculous.

"Don't get upset with me," she says, following me. "I didn't do anything wrong."

"What's your plan here?" I ask, turning to face her. "Are you just going to keep stringing me along until you finally decide whether or not you want to be with me?"

"That's not what I'm doing," she says. I scoff and shake my head.

"That's exactly what you're doing, Carmen. You have no idea how much I care about you. I'm not going to hurt you, but you keep pushing me away. I'm not going to pine after you until you finally decide you're done with me."

"Do you want me to decide right now?" she asks in challenging tone. "Because I don't think you'll like my choice."

That hurts a little more than I'd lie to admit. Instead of letting her see that, of course I just feel angry on the outside.

"Why can't you just give me some time?" she asks. "Why is that so hard?"

"Because I lo-" I stop short and everything freezes for a moment. What the fuck was I just going to say? "It's been months, Carmen. If you don't know by now, after everything, then I don't know what else I can do to get you to trust me. How many more times do I have to convince you that I care about you?"

"I know you do," she says. I'm so confused.

"I'm trying so hard," I say quietly. "I don't know what else to do."

"Then walk away." She lets out a sad laugh. "If you're tired of this, then end it. Better now than when it'll hurt a lot more."

"It'll already hurt way too fucking much." I step closer to her and she closes her eyes. "I don't want to walk away, that's the point. I'm here, Carmen. You just need to see that."

"I don't know what you want from me," she says quietly. "I can't give you what you want right now."

"Could you, though?" She looks up at me. "If we take things slow...Maybe eventually we can-"

"Don't," she whimpers. She surprises me by stepping forward and wrapping her arms around my ribs. "Please don't say it."

"You know that's what I want, though, right?" I ask, leaning my cheek against her head and putting my arms around her. She nods against my chest and my hand runs up and down her back. If she never intends to be with me, then I'm not sure if I can keep doing this. It would be hard as hell, but I can't let myself keep doing this.

"I like you Harry," she whispers. A large smile spreads on my face and my grip on her tightens.

"A lot?"

"Don't push your luck." I laugh a little and she sighs. "I just need a little more time, okay?"

"Then I'll be here."

Notes

so im going away for a few days...it would be amazing if you guys could spread the word while im gone :D get some people to subscribe/vote. it would be the BEST thing to come back to :)

so i hope you guys like this chapter.

will things be easier for harry now? we shall see ;)

so if you would be so kinda...comment, vote, subscribe :)

i really hope everyone is enjoying the story :D