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A Crazy Thing Called Love

nineteen.

Harry's POV

Some things in life are predictable. Like what your mother will say when she catches you sneaking in past curfew or what colour the sky will be when you wake up tomorrow. I don't mind much either way, but these few predictable aspects of life give some people a greater sense of control and as a result, a happier go at life. Yes, there are something things that are definitely predictable. In this case, Carmen is one of those things.

Most of the time she keeps me guessing and most of the time I find myself reacting to her emotions instead of anticipating them like I normally can with girls. This morning, though, was a different story. Waking up alone in her bed was exactly what I figured would happen.

I know that I pushed my luck last night- or this morning, rather. As soon as night turned to morning I figured if I stayed I would eventually either fall asleep in her bed, or she'd cave and let me stay. Either way, there was a good chance that I'd be sleeping in the same bed as her and as simple as that is, it's something I've wondered about since the time we did a little more than sleep in the same bed. My physical attraction to Carmen is undeniable, but I wanted to see if I really wanted her in more ways than one. I was right about that, too. It's an odd thing, feeling so completely attracted to someone but at the same time wanting to simply hold them instead of doing anything else.

So, waking up in an empty bed without Carmen next to me didn't surprise me at all. She had texted me early to tell me she'd gone for a workout with Kayla, so at least she's not avoiding me completely. Texting is something.

I know she's probably feeling a little weird about letting me stay, questioning everything and wondering if she should bother with me at all. And I know that I could talk to her and reassure her like I've done multiple times already, but I don't want to. I want her to realize on her own that she wants me and that she doesn't have to be so afraid all the time. I need her to see that, because I can't spend who knows how long convincing someone to be with me.

When I get back to my house Liam is eating breakfast. He takes one cursory glance at the clothes I was wearing yesterday and his whole face falls.

"Where were you last night?" He asks like he already knows the answer, and he does.

"I stayed at Carmen's." I sit down at the table across from him and the expression on his face looks like he just swallowed a bug. "Nothing happened, Liam."

He rolls his eyes. "You expect me to believe that?"

"Believe whatever you want."

"This is you we're talking about, Harry."

"Thanks, Liam. I really appreciate hearing your opinion of me." I stand up and get some juice for myself.

"Don't act so wounded. You did sleep with her without knowing her name, remember?" he says, turning in his chair to eyeball me.

"I did know her name, I just didn't remember it." He raises his eyebrows. I realize that was a weak argument. "Forget it. Look, don't worry about me and Carmen."

"Don't worry," he repeats. He scoffs. "Right."

"I'm too fuckin' tired for this. I'm going upstairs."

I'm not in the mood for Liam's judgment and temperamental big brother attitude. Just the other day is was teasing me with the other boys, laughing along and even throwing in a few crude comments. I thought we were past the protective thing where I'm the bad guy. Not that I don't mind Liam caring so much for her, obviously that's a good thing. It's just that I don't get why he's so convinced that I'm going to her her. If anything, she's the one that's going to be hurting me.

Staring blankly at the ceiling from my position laying at the ceiling does little to distract my thoughts. Even if I was doing something else, I would probably still be thinking about her. Apparently it isn't something I can help, and honestly I don't really even want to. I just want to feel like it's justified, like I'm not pining after someone that would never want me back.

I hear a girl's voice floating from downstairs, and when I can't discern whose it is I calmly, nonchalantly descend the steps to find out for myself. When I realize it's only Ivy I decide to sit in the living room to make it look like I didn't come down for the reason I did.

"Hey Harry," she says. I wave to her, Ivy leant against the counter while Louis attempting to fix them something to eat. Apparently it's lunchtime already.

"Hey. I wouldn't eat whatever he's making, just to warn you."

She laughs and Louis flips me off without even looking. He doesn't usually try this hard, so maybe he really likes this girl. Louis doesn't date a lot, more because he doesn't feel like putting the effort in, but he also isn't the kind of guy to sleep with a girl one time and forget about it. Only girl he's in a relationship with. Apparently that is now Ivy.

"Don't you have your own girl to worry about?" he asks after a minute. He smirks at me and I roll my eyes. His ease in getting Ivy to himself is not something he lets me forget.

"Yeah, where is Carmen?" Ivy asks.

I shrug, trying to act like I hadn't thought about it. "Probably at school."

When Ivy and Louis start going back to whatever it was they were doing before, I sink a little further into the couch and flick on the TV so it doesn't seem like I'm just sitting here thinking about Carmen. They probably know that I am, but I should at least try to make it look better. I want to call her or go see her or something, but she hasn't tried getting in touch with me today and I don't know why. Honestly, I really don't know what to think anymore. Carmen is so beautifully confusing. The problem is, even if I wanted to walk away I'm not sure if I could. The depth of my investment is startling to me; we aren't even together and the commitment I feel towards this girl is probably a little strange, unhealthy even.

My mind is working so quickly that I can't even sort through my thoughts or feelings, I can barely get a hold on how I'm feeling about all of this and it's making me crazy. I feel like seeing Carmen would help me, but I have a feeling it wouldn't help her and that outweighs what I need for once.


"Maybe I should just go there."

"No, don't go there. That'll freak her out more."

"I don't know." My fingers push through my hair for the zillionth time in the last hour and Zayn smiles, a silly small smile.

"You've got it bad."

"Got what?"

He laughs. "Nothing. Why don't you just call her? You can talk to her without seeming like a creepy-"

"I'm not creepy!" I defend.

"I'm just saying that if you show up at her house unannounced it might seem a little desperate."

I flop down beside him on the couch and rub my hands over my face. I've been going crazy today and after my shift at the restaurant tonight I still haven't heard a single thing from Carmen. Not a text, not a call, nothing. It's not like I was expecting for last night to mean we're fucking married, but to not hear a single thing after the last two days- picking her up from the airport, the gym, hanging out here, me sleeping at her house, our fight- I thought maybe she'd see me as more than whatever the hell we were before. I don't even know if that makes any fucking sense.

"If you go to her house she can slam the door in your face," he points out. "Do whatever you want, mate. I'm just saying you guys aren't together and even if you were, it's too soon to be spending every second together. Don't get ahead of yourself, you've only known her a few weeks."

"I know. But..."

"It feels like longer," he finishes. I nod. "Yeah, I had the same thing with Mel. I believe you were the one to told me to, and I quote, 'calm the fuck down' about it." We both laugh and I pull out my phone, pulling up Carmen's number and staring at it. I have no idea what to do.

After a minute or two the front door opens and I whip around to see who it is. My stomach flips, expecting and hoping for it to be Carmen for some stupid reason, but of course it's not. I already knew Mel was on her way here, I don't know why I thought it'd be anyone else.

"Hey guys." She swings the door shut and comes to sit between us on the couch, kissing Zayn quickly and then looking at me. "What's your problem?"

"Who says I have a problem?"

"Well when I walked in you turned around like you were expecting the queen of England."

Zayn laughs and I glare at him. Mel is an interesting girl; she's not as quiet as Zayn, more willing to say whatever the fuck she wants. She's never rude, though, at least she doesn't try to be. If you don't know her you might take it that way, but I know she means well. She's probably the nicest person I've ever met. Other than being louder than Zayn, they're pretty much the same person. It freaks me the fuck out sometimes.

"Maybe Mel can offer a female perspective," Zayn says. "Why don't you tell her."

"Tell me what?" she chirps. She pushes her glasses- which I have learned have no actual purpose in regards to eyesight- up her nose and waits.

"Harry's got girl troubles."

"When does he not?"

"Alright." I put my hands on my knees. "I don't need this from your two."

"No wait," Mel laughs, her hand on my arm to pull me back down when I try to stand. "Tell me."

"I'm good," I say sarcastically. She rolls her eyes.

"I'm great at relationship advice. Tell me what's happening."

"It's not a relatioship. Just...I don't really know, but she's not my girlfriend and I don't want to talk about this anymore." I stand and start heading to the stairs. "Don't get too crazy on that couch, you two."

Back in my room I pace around for a minute or two, staring at my phone and tugging at my hair to try to figure my shit out. Do I call her? Or maybe just a text would be okay. But if I go there I can force her to talk to me.

Before I can think any more about it my phone is against my ear, the ringing sounding more like the scary music they play at the intense part of scary movies, right before the bad guy jumps out and hacks someone to pieces.

"Hello?"

My heart drops into my stomach at her voice and for some reason my throat gets so dry that I my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth.

"Umm...Harry?"

"Shit, sorry. Yeah. Hi, it's me. Harry." What the actual fuck. She laughs a little.

"I know. I have caller ID on my phone."

"Oh. Right."

I called her so I should probably be the one to say something, but suddenly I can't remember. She doesn't say anything either, probably wondering the same thing I am. Why the fuck did I call her?

"Harry, it's late and I have a game tomorrow..." She pauses briefly and I try to remember what I actually wanted.

"Is it okay if I'm there?" I ask finally. Why is this so fucking awkward? Last night was so perfect and now I don't even know what's happening.

"At the game?" she carifies. I nod, then realize that she can't actually see me.

"Yeah," I say. She doesn't sound upset, but she doesn't sound the same as she usually does. I've also never spoken to her on the phone.

"If you want to be there," she says quietly.

"If you don't want me to then I won't go, Carmen," I respond. I sit on the edge of my bed and chew on my thumbnail, something I've literally never done. I don't know if I'm just being a girl or if she's actually been ignoring me today. Could easily be either one.

"Why didn't you call me?" she asks weakly. My heart almost stops beating and I feel like my entire body has frozen at this point. Call her?

"What?" I finally choke out.

"I left for my workout with Kayla and..." She sighs. "Nevermind."

"No, tell me."

"It's nothing, Harry. Forget it."

"Carmen," I plead. I want to know what that means, because I've been freaking out too. She sighs again and just as I'm about to start asking again she finally speaks.

"I thought you'd still be at my house," she says. "You were still sleeping and I left so early for my run that I figured you'd still be there when I got back."

"And I wasn't," I finish. She sighs again and I lay back on my bed, my hand over my mouth. I'm such a fuck up. How did I not think about that?

"Yeah," she breathes.

"Fuck, I'm sorry, Carmen. I didn't realize...I thought you left because of me, I didn't think you'd want me to be there when you got back so I went home," I explain. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. That's not what I wanted at all. I actually thought you were ignoring me today."

She laughs, and the sound washes relief through my entire body. "Aren't we a pair."

"Apparently."

"I thought you felt weird about last night," she admits quietly. I can hardly hear her, and she sounds unsure of herself.

"Carmen, the last two days with you were amazing," I say, smiling to myself. I sound like a sappy fuck, but who cares? "I didn't leave because I felt weird, I haven't slept that well in forever."

"Really?"

I laugh a little. "Really really."

"You scared the shit out of me, Harry," she says, an airy laugh coming through the speaker.

"I've been losing my mind all day," I confess. "I scared the shit out of me, too."

"Well maybe you should have just stayed in my bed a little longer," she teases. "When did you leave anyway? It wasn't that late when I got home. Maybe a little after eight."

"I didn't even check. All the boys and their girlfriends have been bugging me all bloody day, though."

"Have they? About me?"

"Yeah they could tell I was freaking out."

"We should probably make sure they stop then."

This idea is intriguing. "What did you have in mind?"

"I'm coming over. Try and get everyone downstairs, okay?"

"Um....okay. Why?"

"Just do it. I'll be there in five minutes." I can hear the smile in her voice and then she hangs up, leaving me curious and heading downstairs to wait for her. Everyone is already down there, which is good for me apparently, and when I sit on the last empty chair they all look at me.

"What?" I ask.

"Shouldn't you be upstairs moping?" Louis asks, his arm around Ivy's shoulders. A few of them snicker.

"Poor Harry finally can't get what he wants," Niall chimes in. I roll my eyes. This is getting fucking ridiculous. It's not that bad.

"You guys are great friends. Top notch," I say sarcastically. Carmen can not get here fast enough.

"We're just enjoying this because it never happens." Niall shrugs. "Just giving it back to you."

"You could enjoy it just a tiny bit less."

"They're just jealous," Mel chimes in. She smiles at me, the only one in the room not being a dick to me.

"Carmen's too good for you anyway," Liam says. His look is hardly joking and while everyone else laughs, Liam's glare locks with mine and I know he's being serious. He really doesn't think I should be with Carmen and while I appreciate their friendship, this needs to stop. Now isn't exactly the best time, but at some point I'm going to need to have a serious conversation with him. Or Carmen has to. Someone has to tell him that this isn't up to him.

The subject changes but my knee continues to bounce while I wait for Carmen. It's almost been ten minutes now and she said five...what if something happened? Maybe that's fucking crazy, but what if it isn't wrong. I keep checking my phone, but there's nothing.

I'm about to get up and go look for her when the front door opens. She waltzes right in and smiles at everyone, and when her eyes find mine my heart rate instantly picks up, her smile broadening. She kicks her shoes off as everyone stares at her, then looks at me. They all look confused and honestly, it's hilarious. They thought she was avoiding me, but here she is. They can all suck it.

"Why is everyone so quiet?" she asks. She stays standing by the door so I finally get up like my body wants me to, automatically pulled to her. Her mischievous eyes pass over the group before landing on me again and I know she's up to something. I don't know why she's so concerned about them razzing me, but I don't mind.

I don't even have time to say hi to her before her arms hands reach up to my neck, pulling my face to hers. My eyebrows shoot up in surprise, but then I have to try not to smile as I kiss her back. If this was her plan then I definitely like it. Her hands slide down my chest and she fists my shirt on either side of my rib cage to pull me tighter against her. As much as I love this, she's going to give me a hard on in front of everyone and that would only provide more ammunition. When I separate from her I laugh a little against her lips.

"Well, hi."



Notes

kind of uneventful i know. boring. but the next chapter will not be ;) promise promise.
i havent been that inspired as of late, so it wasn't that easy to write this, thats why it took so long. sorry :( i know i usually update a lot more but i just had nooo idea what to write still wasnt really sure thats why this one kinda sucks. hopeully u guys like it :s

basically this was just to show that hes obsessed- not in a creepy way but he's pretty involved at this point. i have an idea for the next chapter and i wanted you guys to like see where his head is kind of thing.

so yeah. sorry again.

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Comments

@All-is-on
my favourite right now is called Hearts Without Chains. its amazing

shygurl11 shygurl11
1/7/15

so happy about this ending. :) ANOTHER ONE WOULD BE AWESOME THOUGH OMG!!!

ughlove ughlove
1/6/15

@shygurl11
I've read ALL your other stories! If you have any to recommend I'm always looking for more!

All-is-on All-is-on
1/6/15

@All-is-on
well....you could always read my other stories :P unless you already have. but i also read some amazing ones on wattpad so if youre trying to find something message me :)
if i do decide to post more stories ill be sure to let you know girl.xx

shygurl11 shygurl11
1/6/15

@shygurl11
But... but I love your stories! You're the best writer I've encountered on this site, or any other! You're stories are sooooo well written and are actually believable and realistic unlike most other stories. I don't know what I'm going to read now that I don't have anything of yours left!!

All-is-on All-is-on
1/6/15