Harry's POV

"Isn't Carmen usually here?"

Liam shrugs and I look around the library for the zillionth time. "Yeah, if she has time to kill she comes here usually. Why?"

"Just wondering."

I'm freaking the fuck out, that's why. I haven't spoken to her since last night when we kissed and now I feel like my head could explode from all the stress. I'm not one to overthink things; I'm pretty relaxed, I'd like to think. Whatever happens, happens. That's how I usually approach life, but with Carmen I worry all the time. I wonder what she's doing, if she's okay, if she's thinking about me, if she even thinks about me at all, what she thinks about the last time we spoke, what to say the next time I see her, and most of all I worry about how she's going to act the next time I see her. Because if she's anything, it's unpredictable. You would think I'd get used to it by now, but it only stresses me out more every time.

This is the most I've ever worried about a girl's opinion of me. For the first time it's impossible to tell how she feels. After last night I'd like to say we feel the same, but I can never be certain with Carmen.

"Her practice is in a half hour, so she probably isn't coming," Liam says after a moment. "Now would you stop clicking your pen like a crazy person."

I stop and he raises his eyebrows. "Sorry."

"What's wrong with you? You're more nervous about her than you usually are."

"I'm not nervous." Lie.

He rolls his eyes. "Right."

"I need to go talk to a prof," I announce, closing my books I never took one glance at. "I'll see you at home."

He nods and goes back to his studying and with my bag on my shoulder I start heading towards the gym. I know that's where she is, and if I wait outside maybe I can see her. Maybe she has some time and we can just talk or something. Or something.

Last night was a whirlwind, to be honest. After we all played football she seemed in a playful mood, so I thought maybe it would be a good time to go a little too far with the flirting, but then her dad showed up. I was not expecting that at all, nor was I expecting him to be in the army. Of all things! And then she asked me to come with them for dinner....that was shocking to say the least. I still don't know what to make of that. But hey, I'm not complaining about last night at all.

The only thing that I"m worried about is how she's going to react today. She initiated the kiss as much as I did, but I can see her freaking out and saying it was a mistake even if she doesn't believe it. Or maybe she still only sees me as a hook-up, just a continuation from the night we met. That would be really unfortunate, but it's still a possibility. Really anything is possible with Carmen.

When I get to the gym where they usually practice I realized they won't be starting for at least another forty minutes. I look inside the gym anyway, not all that surprised to find Carmen already in there working on her serve. Of course she is.

There's a half-empty ball cart next to her and she doesn't even take time to watch her serve before she's taking the next ball to try again. After the second one she goes through the motions of her approach first, then tries again. Every one has more power behind it and with every serve I can see her getting more worked up instead of more tired like a normal person. This is where she thrives, I can tell. Volleyball is her coping mechanism. I just hope she doesn't need to cope with me specifically.

After a few minutes of watching and debating I finally push the doors open. As soon as they slam shut Carmen looks at me, her head spinning quickly to the side. Her eyes widen at the sight of me. We stand there look at each other for a moment, my hand sin my pockets while hers hold a ball limply.

"Hey," I blurt finally. She blinks a few times and looks at the ball in hands, bouncing it against the gym floor.

"Hi," she responds simply. "What are you doing here?"

"I..." I was looking for you? I want to know if you're freaking about last night? I want to know if you regret kissing me? All of these answers seems more pathetic than the last, so I opt for none. "I was walking by and I saw you in the window."

She nods. "Okay."

Okay? That's all I get. She looks at me once more before tossing the ball high in the air and jumping to hit it. It goes of the net and almost over the back line, but it stays in.

"Can you teach me?" I ask, walking towards her slowly. She turns her head towards me and I notice the ghost of a smile on her lips.

"Serve?" she clarifies. I nod and she turns to get a ball. "Sure."

I walk over to her and she bounces the ball and its it with her palm back against the floor before it settles in her hands again. She steps to the side a little to make room for me on the base line.

"So...have you done this before?" she asks.

"Never."

"Oh boy." She smiles a little and I laugh, glad she's not being too serious with me. "So I guess you don't want to try a jump serve, then?"

"I could try, but I don't want you to laugh at me."

She hands me the ball and takes one for herself. I bounce it a few times and wait for her instructions.

"All right," she begins. She stands next to me. "So I guess we'll start with the swing. Wherever your shoulders are facing, that's where the ball is going to go, so make sure you're facing the court. Make sure you're hitting the ball above your head, I guess. Bring your elbow all the way back and hit it with an open palm."

I laugh. "That's a horrible explanation, Carmen."

She rolls her eyes with a small smile. "I've never taught anyone how to do this stuff and it's practically second nature for me, so I don't have to think about the process."

"Show me," I request.

She turns toward the court and holds the ball up with her left hand in front of her, her other one raised with her elbow bent and behind her head. She tosses the ball up and takes a tiny step as she swings straight through.

"Shit, that moved! In the air, did you see that?" I ask, pointing at it. She laughs and nods her head.

"Yeah, it's called a float serve. There's no spin on it."

"You make it look really easy, you know."

"Then it shouldn't be too hard for you," she reasons. I laugh nervously and turn towards the court. She's amazing at this and I've never done it before. Normally I would like to be the one teaching her something, you know? Most of the time I feel like Carmen makes me step out of my normal role.

I try to serve the way she did, but it hits the net and rolls back. She smiles, but doesn't laugh, running towards the ball to get it. She tosses it back to me.

"Try taking a step for momentum," she suggests. "As you're swinging."

I'm not sure how many times I try it, but after a while I start getting the hang of serving and Carmen has finally stopped laughing at me. She giggles a little after one, though, and I have to ask.

"Why are you laughing at me?" I ask, laughing a little myself.

"You keep sticking your tongue out," she says, pointing to my mouth. "Every time you swing it pops out a little."

"Oh."

She laughs more and I smile shyly at her, now a little self conscious. She picks up another ball and takes a few steps to the left, away from me.

"Don't worry," she says. She bounces the ball and lines up for her jump serve. "It's pretty cute."

I watch with a smile on my face while she serves the ball. It's really impressive, I have to say. I've never really gone for athletic girls for some reason, probably since I"m not very athletic myself, but Carmen is so sexy this way. She's tall, lean, toned in a way that's perfect for a girl. But she doesn't rub anything in your face, doesn't make my feel incompetent compared to her. Volleyball is a part of who she is, it's not something she assumes she's good at. She just loves it.

"Carmen, you're going to throw your shoulder!"

We both turn towards the other doors and I get a little irritated at the sight of her coach. Why the hell do they have someone so young and male coach the women's team? It makes no sense.

"Well if you want me jump serving I need extra practice," she shouts back.

"If you can't play at all because you pull your shoulder, that doesn't help much, does it?" he asks, walking up beside her. He looks past her to me. "Hey, man."

"Austin, this is my...." she pauses and our eyes meet, uncertainty swimming in hers. "This is Harry." Her correction raises a hint of disappointment, but I push it away.

"Are you trying out?" he asks, nodding to the ball in my hands. Carmen smiles and hits his arm. Slowly buts surely, I'm getting pissed. I don't like this guy, he rubs me the wrong way.

"Harry was just visiting," she says when I don't answer. She gives me a questioning look. "I was teaching him to serve."

"Well, it's a closed practice," Austin says. "Sorry."

"As far as I can tell, practice hasn't started." There's more venom in my words than necessary, but I can't help it. "Unless Carmen is the only one on team."

The prick raises his eyebrows and gives me a taunting smile. Carmen looks at me with wide eyes. Maybe that was uncalled for, but he's fucking annoying. He can very well tell what's happening here and he's being an asshole for no reason.

"I'm going to go," I say, looking at Carmen. "I'll see you later."

"Harry," she calls after I've started walking away. It's not until I'm out of the gym and walking down the hall that she comes after me. "Harry, wait!"

I stop and turn towards her, remember that I'm not mad because of her. The few guys walking through the halls all turn to look at Carmen's ass, which is perfectly lined by her spandex shorts and I feel my patience growing even thinner.

"What was that?" she asks, her hands on her hips.

"What?"

"You know what. Why were you being a dick?" I raise my eyebrows and she rolls her eyes. "Don't play innocent, I'm not stupid. You have no reason to be a jerk to Austin."

"I wasn't," I defend. "I was-"

"Forget it," she says, holding her hand up. "I'll see you later."

"Carmen." This time I'm the one calling after her as she walks away. She walks into the gym without looking back at me and I run my fingers through my hair in frustration. I fucked up, apparently, and Carmen isn't the type of girl to ignore that for the sake of keeping me interested. Girls usually don't give me shit for anything, because they want to keep me around I guess. I get away with whatever I want because they don't want to risk me walking away. I always knew, and I always thought it was pathetic. Easy for me, but pathetic none the less. Apparently Carmen isn't going to go easy on me, though I'm not sure why I ever thought she would. She hasn't before, why would she start now?

Louis calls me then for a favour, asking me to cover the first three hours of his shift tonight. I grumbled a yes and hung up before I could ask what he was doing, but immediately regret it. I want to see Carmen. Fuck, why can't I think about anything else?

---

"Harry, that old couple that loves you is here. I sat them in your section," Amy tells me, the hostess on shift right now. I nod in acknowledgment and she leaves to go back to the front of the restaurant. I love Peter and Marla, but I've been in a bad mood since I got here and I don't want them to be on the bad end of it like all my other customers. Louis' Dad probably won't be very happy about that if he gets a complaint, but in all fairness I'm not supposed to be here. Lou was supposed to be here ten minutes ago to take over the rest of his shift, but he's late. Of course.

After bring food to the only two other tables in my section I head for Peter and Marla.

"Evening," I greet. They both smile at me. "Here for dinner instead of breakfast today?"

"Breakfast for dinner," Marla says, still smiling. I nod and look to Peter.

"Both of us," he says. "And coffee as well."

"I'll be right back." They nod and Marla gives me weird smile as I walk away. With their coffee mugs and menus in hand I head back for their table. Louis runs through the front door and heads straight for the back.

"There's the menus." I place everything in front of them. "Louis is going to be taking over, he'll probably be taking your order."

"Everything all right, Harry?" Marla asks. I shrug and she slides over. "If you're not working anymore, why don't you join us?"

"Oh I shouldn't..." I look back at Lou, who is already going to my other tables to take over. "On second thought, maybe I will. I just have to get my things and punch out."

"Fantastic," she says. "Be sure you bring yourself a drink."

"Okay," I laugh. I walk to the back and Lou comes with. "What the hell, man?"

"Sorry, I got caught up."

"Doing what?"

He shrugs. "I was with Ivy."

"You made me cover your shift so you could fuck around with a girl?" I ask angrily. "Are you serious?"

He rolls his eyes. "It's not a big deal, Harry. Don't be mad just because you can't get anywhere with Carmen."

"Fuck off. I'm eating with table twelve, just so you know."

I get my phone and wallet from my locker in the back and go over to the booth where Marla and Peter are eating. I sit next to Marla and she sips at her coffee, neither of them saying anything while I scroll through my phone to see if Carmen has tried to contact me at all. Nothing.

"Harry, tell us what's running through that young little mind of yours," Marla requests. I laugh a little.

"It's not little," I defend.

"You're a man, it's small enough." I laugh again and sip at the coffee I brought for myself. "What's on your mind?"

I shrug. "I'm just thinking."

"Probably about a girl," Peter suggests. They both stare at me, waiting for an answer I'm not giving them. Not out loud, at least. He chuckles and I feel my cheeks heat slightly.

"What are we having?" Louis asks, walking to the end of our table. We all order pancakes and he leaves again.

"Tell us about her," Marla suggests.

"I never said there was a girl," I retort coyly.

"You didn't have to."

---

"Well she sounds head strong, sure of herself," Marla says. "She knows who she is."

"So much that I don't think she needs me," I mumble. I don't like talking about this shit.

"Everyone needs someone," Marla says. "Maybe she doesn't need you to do anything for her, to provide anything. But everyone needs someone that cares for them in their life. From what you said, it doesn't sound like she lets a lot of people in. You're one of the lucky few she has."

"But she hasn't," I argue. "Every time I get close she pushes me away again."

"So push back," Peter says. "Marla was as headstrong as they come, didn't want much to do with me."

"Well, that's not true," she says. She looks back at me. "He proposed after two weeks of knowing me, and that would scare off anyone with half a brain. It's not that I didn't like him, you see Harry. But I wasn't sure if I could manage a relationship the way he wanted one."

"But obviously you agreed," I conclude. They're married now.

"Peter never stopped trying," she says. She smiles at him and looks back at me. "He didn't let me push him away. That's what you have to do with this girl. What did you say her name was?"

"It's Carmen." They look at each other with small, secretive smiles. "What?"

"Nothing," Peter says.

"She sounds like a lovely girl, Harry. You should keep trying."

"Yeah." I look down at my phone again. It's not like I was going to give up, I just have no idea how to do this. Carmen isn't like any other girls I've known. Ever. It's almost nine now. Maybe I should go see her...

"Go," Marla says, nodding towards the door. "Tell us next time how it went."

"Thanks." I take some money out, enough for all three of us. "Have a good night, you guys."

They nod and I leave the restaurant, half running to my car. I'm not sure if I even remember the way back to Carmen's Dad's place, but I could probably find it. I have no idea what I'm even going to say to her, but I want to see her. I'm so fucking confused and not seeing her isn't going to help anything. Plus, there's the thing where I love being around her.

It takes almost a half hour, but when I find the apartment building I have to wait another ten before someone comes and opens the door, since I have no idea what floor they're on.

"Sorry, but could you help me? I'm looking for a friend."

She gives me an uneasy once-over. "Who?"

"A girl named Carmen and her Dad, he's in the army. They live here somewhere."

"Yes, I know them. They're on my floor, I'll take you there."

"Thanks." I breathe a sigh and get into the elevator with the woman. She keeps fucking looking at me like I'm a criminal, probably thinks I'm here to kidnap her or something. When we step out on the fourth floor she leads me around a corner and to apartment 426.

"Here it is," she says. I nod and nock on the door, the woman standing waiting with me. I look at her, trying to dismiss her but she stays put. When the door opens I feel like my stomach has climbed into my mouth.

"Harry?" Carmen says. She looks at the woman. "And Christine..."

"I was just making sure you knew him," she says, laughing a little. "I'll go."

"Thanks," I says again as she walks away. Carmen looks back into the apartment and steps into the hallway. "Hey, I-"

"What are you doing here?" she asks, leaning back against the door with her arms folded. She's wearing a massive t-shirt and...that's all. That I can see, anyway. I swallow nervously and scratch the back of my head.

"I uh..I wanted to see you," I stutter. She sighs and looks at my chest. "I mean, I wanted to apologize. I was a dick earlier, I don't know why." Well I do know why, but that probably wouldn't help anything.

"Yeah. You were." After a minute of my heart beating hard in my chest, the nervousness fades when she smiles slightly. "How'd you find the building?"

"It was easy," I say, shrugging. She laughs and rolls her eyes. She does that a lot. "I probably should have called or something."

"It's fine." She shrugs.

"Are you having a good time with your Dad?" I ask, sliding my hands into my pockets. I wish I had the fucking nerve to kiss her right now. But she terrifies me, so...

"Yeah." She smiles widely. "I skipped my classes today to hang out with him, actually. We went out for dinner after my practice since he hates cleaning dishes and we were just watching a movie together. But I think he fell asleep."

I laugh. "That sounds nice."

She nods. The air around us suddenly stuffy and awkward. Neither of us say anything and our kiss last night plays through my mind a thousand times. The minimal amount of clothing she's wearing weighs heavy on my mind and I have to restrain myself from staring at her long legs. I'm not sure how she's so comfortable being half naked in front of me, but I'm not complaining.

"So..." she begins. We both laugh, mine more of a nervous cough. "Was there something else?"

I shrug. "I wanted to see you." My eyes go wide; I didn't mean to say that. She smiles and stands up, her hand on the doorknob. Here's where she tells me leave.

"We're watching Harry Potter," she says. I nod and she stares at me for a moment before continuing. "Did you want to come in?"

A grin spreads on my face and I nod. She backs up, opening the door. The lights are dimmed in the apartment, but the room is still familiar to me. She walks past me to the couch and sits down beside her father, who is asleep just like she said he was. I sit in the lazy-boy chair adjacent to the couch and watch her for a moment. Her hair is straight as it usually is, falling down over the curve of her chest. She pulls a blanket over her legs and brings her knees up to her chest, her eyes trained on the screen. Carmen usually wears a tiny bit of make up, but that's gone now and I realize she doesn't need it at all. Her hair may be blonde, but her eyelashes are so dark that they provide a lining for her eyes that doesn't require enhancement.

Carmen looks over at me, her eyes catching mine. She smiles slightly and tilts her head to one side.

"What?" she murmurs. I shake my head, very aware of her father's presence.

"Nothing."

She laughs a little and shakes her head, looking back at the screen. I watch her for another moment before finally letting my eyes wander to the TV. I've seen these movies, and I never got on the bandwagon for Harry Potter. Nothing against it, just not really my thing.

After about twenty minutes her father stirs and sits up, raising his hands over his head. He looks at me and instantly becomes a little more alert.

"Dad, you should go to sleep," Carmen suggests. She follows his gaze to me. "Oh yeah, Harry stopped by. I invited him to watch with us. But you're sleeping, not watching. So get."

He sighs. "Nice to see you again, Harry."

"You too," I say, nodding. He gets up slowly and bends down to kiss the top Carmen's head. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Dad." He nods to me and walks over to the bedroom I wasn't in with Carmen all those weeks ago. I didn't even realize there were two. Carmen watches his door after it's closed, then looks back at the TV with her bottom lip pinched between her teeth.

"Quit staring at me," she mumbles. She looks at me with a small smile. I slowly stand from the chair and walk over to her couch, sitting myself beside her.

"If your Dad came out right now would he kill me?" I ask, setting my arm on the back of the couch. She laughs.

"I don't know, actually. I've never introduced him to a boy."

"Ever?"

"Ever."

"Does that mean..." I watch her carefully, the light from the TV dancing over her face. She sighs.

"I've never had a boyfriend," she admits quietly. What. I just stare at her, my mouth hanging open a little. She leans her body into mine. "Don't make a big deal about it. I know it's weird."

I wasn't going to say that, but I don't say anything at all. She feels a little weird about it, so I don't want to make her feel worse. My arm drops so it's around her shoulders, my hand hanging over her arm. I trail my fingers lightly, slowly up and down her olive skin. Her knees fall onto my legs and she looks up at me.

"Why'd you really come here?" she asks quietly. Her blue eyes search my face.

"You don't know the answer to that?" I whisper. She closes her eyes briefly. "I like being here."

"You like the apartment?" she teases, smiling.

"I like you," I correct. Her eyes go wide, long eyelashes batting as she blinks. I didn't really mean to say that, but I guess it was pretty obvious anyway. Might as well get it out in the open.

She doesn't say anything, and I don't want her to feel like she has to. I place my free hand on her knee and lean my forehead into hers. She sighs against my lips and brushes her nose against mine. I can't help but smile, and I can feel hers when I finally kiss her. Carmen places one hand against my cheek and I pull my mouth away.

"You're trying to get me killed," I mumble, referring to her father. She laughs and puts her arm across my stomach, placing a gentle kiss on my jaw before settling in against me.

Notes

awww. so cute. i love these two.

hope you like the story guyssss :)
thanks for reading<3

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