Five months earlier.

I sighed in relief as the warmth of my flat replaced the cold March weather outside. It wasn’t small, nor was it big but to me it was adequate and warm. I’ve got everything I’ve ever wanted in this flat of mine that I could proudly say was bought with my own money – after all the saving I’ve done in the high school years. It was a satisfaction to see my money had been used to something beneficial. And a flat in the cold, busy London was beneficial, for it was a center of everything. It was easy for me to move around, to get my job done and there were a lot of nice clubs too, if I had to say so myself.

Peeling off the light brown pea coat off of my body, I delicately hung it on the coat stand that stood right beside the front door. I threw my bundle of keys and some letters onto the coffee table as I made my way to my bedroom, looking forward to spend the rest of the evening on the bed.

But as my bed came in view, someone came in view, too. He stood in my bedroom, in front of my bed with his hands in the pocket of his jeans, his eyes soft and looking through me - into me, somehow. The light from outside seeped into my window and illuminated him. Danced off his skin. He was absolutely beautiful.

We had been dating for almost three months. Three amazing months but we rarely got to be alone. Even when we were, his phone would ring or he would get texts. It was my fault to fall in love with him at the busiest time of his life. I had to share him with the world when all I wanted was to shut it out and be consumed in him.

I watched as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, turning it off and tossed it on my dresser. He smiled and I mirrored him, double-checking if he had actually turned it off and it wasn’t just an act. He hugged my waist from behind me, pressing his chest over my back, chuckling as he saw me checking his phone.

“It’s off,” He said, nuzzling his nose into my hair. For a strange reason, it was his favorite spot. I leaned back against him, reaching over my shoulder to slip my hands into his soft curls and tilt my nose up against his jawline. “I’m all yours.”

“I’m still convinced that Paul will figure out you’re here and yank you out of my flat to get you to work.”

His chest vibrated as he chuckled. “I’m all yours,” He repeated, his nose was buried into the crook my neck. “No interruptions. I promise.”

I closed my eyes and turned in his arms so we came face to face as I wrapped my arms around his neck, nuzzling my nose to his. “Say that first part again.”

“I’m all yours.” He breathed out, his lips puckering in the perfect way they do.

His green eyes spoke nothing but the truth as he brushed a strand of my hair off my shoulders and traced slow gentle circles on my back. Everything he does, it was soft and slow, and he was handing me with care. His touch lit a blaze inside me that was overwhelming. It was as if I had never been with anyone before, as if I had never been touched like this.

I had indeed but with Harry – it was different, good different.

I was already crippling, already addicted to him. And I, without a doubt, was in love with him. But the word ‘love’ didn’t really come out of our mouths that often but when it did, it was full of honesty. When he said those three words, I would never everdoubt it because Harry had always given someone his best even if he ranked second in anybody’s life. However with me, he would never come second, never had and never will.

“You’re so beautiful,” He leaned in, pressing his warm lips against mine. I could feel him smiling as I pressed my palms flat on his shoulder blades. “Jesus, I can’t believe you’re mine.” He whispered, his words vibrating the air around my lips.

This was the moment I loved the most; the moment where Harry and I put our guards down, where we lost ourselves in each other. It was beautiful - he was beautiful. I had never known it was possible to call a boy beautiful but Harry was.

Legs circled waist and arms locked around his shoulders. We kissed deep; we were good at this. We had known each other’s rhythm, each other’s taste. I could kiss him for hours and I would never get tired of it. The way his lips perfectly moved against mine, his tongue stroking mine.

“Have you ever kissed someone and you felt like crying afterwards? It’s not because they’re not good; it’s because they’re really good at it and you felt like if you pulled away, there wasn’t going to be a next one. Have you?”

“I have not but I can assure you that you will not go through that. Again.”

I felt Harry tugging the button of my jeans, the lines on his forehead started to form, as he couldn’t figure out how take my jeans off. “Fuck I swear this is Satan trying not to let me have my way.”

I couldn’t help but laughed as I gently placed my hand on top of his, prying his hands off my jeans and popped the button, pushing myself off of him. Harry sat on the edge of my bed and watched as I pulled down my jeans. “Jesus Harry, it’s not that hard.” When the jeans pooled down at my feet, he didn’t let a second passed as he quickly wrapped his hands around my thighs, pulling me forward. I fell right onto his chest, giggling at the eagerness of his action.

I felt his hands grazing gently along my thigh; my nails dug into his shoulders, arching my back slightly as his lips delicately caressed my stomach. He took both of my hands in his, locking them together as one. “I miss you so much.” He whispered, filling me in until I couldn’t stress how much I love the way he made me feel. His name left my lips breathlessly, my head falling back, my eyes closed as the intense pleasure took over.

As we melded into one person, I could tell that there was one thing I was certain of: I love him.

“Oh God, I love you so much,” I breathed out, not thinking as the euphoria was clouding my brain. It wasn’t like we had never said it before because we had in some occasions. But to feel and hear those words left my lips, it didn’t feel foreign at all. It sounded strangely good as it made its way out of my lips after been trapped inside for so long.

He nuzzled my neck, kissing the crook of my shoulder. “I know you do.”

“Oh?”

He ran his nose up the bridge of mine, and placed his lips lightly on mine. “I love you.” He whispered and I closed my eyes around the words. I wished for a moment that I could live in this world – a world we had created in this very room, a world where no one lived but us.

Rolling to my side, he smiled. A smile that could have told me he was thinking of something, and also a smile telling me that he was feeling content of his life. Before I could start a conversation with him, my phone started ringing, breaking the comfortable silence between us. Wrapping the duvet around my body, I searched for my jeans and took the phone out.

“Liam,” I said, raising my eyebrow at him. Harry nodded his head, shrugging and telling me to answer the call. “Hi, Liam.”

“Is Harry with you? I’ve tried calling him several times and he didn’t pick it up. And he missed one of our radio interviews.” He spoke so fast; I smiled to myself, trying to adjust my ear so I could understand his accent that was slightly different from Harry’s.

I looked up to see Harry smiling at me as he picked up the freshly cleaned towel from my closet and made his way into my bathroom.

“He is.”

“Oh thank God,” Liam breathed out. “Paul was freaking out.”

Giggling, I said. “Tell Paul not to freak out, he’s fine with me.”

I listened as Liam told Paul that Harry was indeed fine and was not in any trouble. Niall also piped in, shouting something incoherent in the back. I could only assumed that he was telling us to be safe and for Harry to not get himself in trouble. It warmed my heart to know how there were so many people that noticed his absence in such a short term and it was just a proof that he didn’t belong to only me. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, he belonged to the people out there, too.

Too deep in my thoughts, I didn’t hear the shower had stopped and Harry stepped out, his hair was sticking onto his forehead, his chest was glistening as the droplets of water trailed down his toned chest. It stunned me to see how beautiful he was, probably the most beautiful male I’ve ever met or known.

“I was hoping you would join so we could save some water.” Harry said, rummaging through my closet to search for his clothes. He had left some in there since he mostly spent his nights here on the weekend. “What did Liam say?”

“You missed your radio interview.” I said, chewing the inner of my cheeks, the guiltiness crept in. I had been so selfish to keep him in here, causing him to throw away his work just to spend his time with me. I was so selfish but so were people out there.

My sudden change of mood of course didn’t go unnoticed by Harry as he slipped on his clean white t-shirt and made his way to me. Kneeling down in front of me, he curled his fingers under my chin, angling it towards his face. “Who the hell cares about the radio interview? They probably ask the same old questions that we all know the answers to it.” When he realized I didn’t buy his words, he added. “Plus, I wanted to spend some time with you before I-“ He immediately stopped; shocked that he almost slipped one thing that he wasn’t supposed to tell me.

“Before you what?” My eyebrows creased in confusion. For the record, he had never told me that he was needed somewhere in this week nor was he for the next two weeks. He was supposed to spend his time with me, helping me with my new job. “Harry?”

His chest heaved up and down, and he uncurled his fingers from my chin. “Before I leave to Sweden for a week.”

It wasn’t only me that was devastated with the idea of him being away, he was devastated too. Not being able to be near me, to help me with my new job, and to just be there for me whenever I needed him. But this time, I had to put my selfish self away – like I usually did – and not let him put his dreams down for me. He was at the peak of his career and I was happy for him, really happy, even. Seeing how he made people smile and vice versa put a smile on my face too.

“Okay,” I quietly spoke.

“Okay?”

I put on the brightest smile I could ever accomplish and stood on my feet. “Yes, I love seeing you doing what you love.” Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pulled him down, pressing my lips against his. It didn’t take him long to respond, pulling my bottom lip with his teeth, demanding rather than asking for an entrance to explore my mouth. His tongue stroked tentatively against mine as I choked back the moan. Before things could get any further, I placed my palms onto his chest, pushing him away. “I need a shower.”

As I made myself busy in the shower, Harry had taken the time to reply each text he received, constantly asking if he could join me and when I couldn’t hear any movements or any noise from my bedroom, I had assumed he had made his way to the kitchen. He liked spending his time at my flat just as much as he loved spending it at his expensive house in Primrose Hill as long as we were together.

By the time I was dressed and out of my bedroom, I saw him checking out some of my letters, two cups of tea were placed on top of the coffee table. His tongue jutted out from his lips as he read the content of the letter; a frown was evident on his forehead. I’ve always had the urge to kiss away the frown, for it was soft. “You’ve got an invitation to a fashion show tonight.” He said, oblivious to me who was staring him up and down. “You should go, this is important.”

I shook my head, not wanting to be anywhere but next to him. The fashion show could wait; they would understand why I was not there. “Not that my presence matters anyway,” I said sounding rather bitterly, as I brought the brim of the cup up to my lips. Taking a sip of it I winced at the hotness of it.

“It’s hot- Baby, you should go.” Harry said, waving the letter in front of my face. “I can come with you and we could just go to the after party if that’s alright.”

Of course it was all right when everything was done with him. Despite the fact that the attention would be brought upon us, I wouldn’t mind as long as he was there with me throughout the night. “You would stay with me for the rest of the night?”

“Like a puppy.”

Another thing about Harry was that he would always stay true to his words. So when he said he’d stay with me for the rest of the night like a puppy, it meant I would never go cold not even a second, for he had his arm wrapped around waist, always tugging me closer to his side. But with Harry being a whole lot taller than me, I had a hard time trying to keep up with his long legs that swiftly moved around the crowd.

Every now and then he would stop and said hi to those that he knew. That short greeting and conversation lasted until he met my cousin, Keira – who adored him and his sense of style – and he was dragged into a conversation that he could not escape. I smiled as he listened intently, prying his arm away from my waist. However, my action caught his attention and he looked down at me, frowning. “Where are you going?”

“To get a drink. Meet me at the bar later.”

I made my way to the bar, bumping into one or two people that had known me through Harry, asking me about him, about us. It didn’t bother me in the slightest, to be fair because everyone knew who he was and they were interested in him but not nearly as much as I was to him. Ordering my drink, I occupied the empty stool, my eyes wandered around the open space. Keira was good at organizing an after party, if I had to say so.

As I downed my drink, someone came occupying the empty seat that was supposedly to be saved for Harry later. But as I glanced over my shoulder I could see that he was still conversing with my cousin.

“Ah Skylar Spencer, ‘twas a surprise to see you here.” A voice that sounded rather familiar spoke. I turned my head around; a piercing pair of grey eyes met my sea blue eyes. I knew him, for he was the son of my dad’s friend.

“Christian,” I said, nodding at him. “What brings you here?”

“My girlfriend is one of those runway girls.” He said, smiling as he brought his glass up to his lips. “Who are you here with?”

“Me,” Harry’s voice interrupted, causing me to jolt forward as I felt his cold hand made a contact on my bare back. “You are?”

“Christian Keens.”

“Harry Styles.”

“I know you,” Christian said, “You’re in that UK-Irish boy band, aren’t you?”

“One Direction, yes.” Harry replied, nodding his head to one of the bartenders. Soon a glass of beer was served to him. “Have you two met?”

Christian laughed, and I immediately knew what he had in his mind. “Yeah, we used to date when we were fourteen. Our dads thought it was fun to see us together.”

Harry looked down, arching one of his eyebrows at me. “I didn’t know that.”

“Well, it was long ago.” I said, hoping that he wouldn’t mind that I had slipped out a small fact about myself.

“Yeah and it didn’t work out. Shame.” Christian said, downing the remainder of his drink. “I’ve got to go. Nice meeting you both.” He shot me a wink, and walked away, disappearing into the throng of crowd.

Harry took a seat, his eyes not leaving me. “What was that?”

“What was what?”

“Christian and you – I didn’t know that. I thought we tell each other everything.” Harry said, making it sounded incredulous that I didn’t tell him about my ex.

“I was fourteen and it lasted for two months, Harry. The furthest we had gone to was a full make out session. There you have it, anything else you want to know?” I said, my tone was oozing with irritation that came out unintentionally.

“No,” He answered shortly. “Sorry, I was overreacting. I don’t like knowing the fact that there was someone else before me.”

I let out a sigh as my hand cupped his cheek. “I didn’t love him, I love you. Alright?”

Harry smiled, closing the gap there was between us. His lips softly brushed against mine, teasing me before he dipped his head down, and attached our lips. No matter where we were, his kiss would always light up the blaze inside of me.

And it scared me to wonder if the day where I couldn’t kiss him anymore would turn up – perhaps out of the blue or perhaps someday I would have seen the day coming where we would have just stopped savoring each other’s lips.

“I love you,” He whispered.

Still dazed with the kiss I had received from him and the thoughts that were swimming in my mind, I stayed quiet.

“Remember when I always keep it good night instead of saying I love you before?” He whispered, his warm breath fanning my skin. I slowly nodded, my hand fisting his curls as he grazed his lips against my neck. “It was because I love you meant falling and you’re scared of heights.”

It was then that I realized I loved him too much – more than anything in the world.

Too much that it scared me because too much didn’t always end up good, especially not to me.

"I love you too."

Notes

GUYSSSS!!!Chapter 1!!!!
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