Harry's POV

"How do you still carry her like that for so long?" Savannah asks as we step inside the elevator to head to her apartment. "She's getting heavy."

I shrug. "She's not that heavy yet."

I probably spoil Sophie a little bit, but I can't help it. She's my little girl and she's so adorable. Looks just like her mother.

"She's going to have curly hair," Savannah says, still brushing her fingers over the light hair.

"You think?"

"It's starting to curl at the ends." She smiles and I look down to try to see what she's talking about, but it's difficult with the way she's laying against me. "She's so like you, Harry. It's crazy."

"I think she's exactly like you," I say quietly. Savannah pauses and looks up at me, our eyes locking over Sophie's head. My heart starts beating a little faster and I find myself wishing the elevator would go up another hundred floors if I could stare at her like this a little longer.

The elevator dings when we get to her floor, startling both of us and disappointing me. Savannah's hands seem unsure as she takes her ring of keys out to unlock the front door. She pushes it open and I head straight for Sophie's bedroom to put her down. She gets so excited at my apartment and I always find myself giving into her, so when she asks to stay up a little later I can't help but say yes. I know she's got me wrapped around her finger, but those big green eyes and chubby cheeks get me every time. Who could say no to her?

The goofy smile on my face cannot be helped as I stare at her, brushing her hair away from her eyes which is much longer than you'd expect for a two year old. Her eyelashes are ridiculously long and her eyes are so big, her lips a similar shade to mine. She's going to be a heartbreaker, that's for sure. I kiss her cheek softly and finally get up to go back out. I really hope I don't have to leave. Even if Sophie is asleep I want to stay. I just want to be here with my family.

I softly shut the door and walk over to the kitchen where I assume Savannah is. When I walk in she's starting a pot of coffee.

"Do you want coffee?"

"Sure." I slide onto a stool on the breakfast bar, contradictory to the next words that come out.. "You know what, I can go if you want. She's probably going to be out for a while and I don't want to intrude." Don't agree, don't agree with me.

"It's fine," she says, dismissively waving her hand. "You can stay until she wakes up. We can all eat together. Plus, this is your time with her."

"Alright," I agree. She's letting me stay so I'm not going to argue. "So, what's going on with the store?"

"We're going to be starting with the store next week, hopefully wednesday. Most of the floorset is ready, I just need to find a few more pieces. We actually had a new designer apply this week."

"I thought your mother had that all set up?"

"She did. He came in and applied on his own apparently. He's new, fresh out of design school apparently. It might be nice to have someone that only has loyalty to us, you know? The other designers are all working for multiple labels. This way we also have some originality."

I nod, then something clicks. "Wait, did you say he? As in a man?"

"Yeah."

"And you...don't you work pretty closely with the designers?" I ask. I don't mean to sound jealous, but it comes out before I can fix it.

"Umm..yeah, I guess I do. Why do you ask?"

"Just wondering," I mumble, punching my bottom lip between his thumb and finger. Something clicks in her eyes as she follows the motion closely. The weird thing about our relationship is that we know each other so well, better than we should for not being a couple anymore. We read each other like books. She can probably already tell that I'm uncomfortable.

When the coffee is ready neither of us have said anything else. She turns to make it without a word and I find myself watching every movement closely. We spent a ridiculous amount of time together when we were still dating and now that I don't get that anymore I find myself paying much closer attention to Savannah. Her hair is shorter now, and instead of falling relatively straight she gets the prettiest natural waves in her blonde hair, which she still has never dyed or highlighted. She wears much less makeup than she did before Sophie, which I honestly love. She's gorgeous. I think she's actually smaller than she was before the baby; apparently that's from breastfeeding. Savannah told me it's the best way to lose pregnancy weight. She's in incredible shape, not that I've ever complained.

She turns and I quickly look down at my hands so she doesn't catch me staring.

"Sorry." She blushes as she sets a mug in front of me. "You can probably do the sugar yourself. I just...it's habit I guess. To do it for you."

"It's fine," I laugh. It's more than fine, actually. "I like that you still remember."

She smiles small as she sips on the liquid, leaning against the counter across from me. I feel like we're finally in a good place, although we do argue quite a bit still. I think we're both just frustrated, to be honest. The way we ended things and resolved them...it left a lot unsaid. Now that we've had time to move past it I think we're both wondering if our relationship will stay platonic for the rest of our lives. We're always going to have Sophie, so we'll always be in each other's lives. It's inevitable and the thought of spending the next sixty years watching her fall in love and have a life with someone else...it's unbearable. I can't let that happen.

"What should we eat for dinner?" she asks finally, breaking the silence and walking over to the fridge.

"What do you have?"

"Not much," she laughs.

I stand and slowly walk up behind her. She always reacts differently when I do these small things; when I get too close or flirt with her she sometimes goes with it, sometimes let's it happen. Other times she completely shuts me down or acts like it didn't happen. It's impossible to know what she's thinking. When I get behind her and lean over her shoulder, my face a little too close, chest against her shoulder, I can hear her inhale a little too quickly.

"Yeah, you really don't," I agree, laughing. She just stands there, my eyes searching her face as she stares blankly into the fridge. She's got a few freckles from the sun now, ones that I can only see spotted on her nose when I'm close like this. Her eyelashes are long, like Sophie's.

"We can get pizza," I suggest.

"Yeah, okay," she agrees. She still doesn't move so I decide to let up on her and take a few steps back. The loss of even that small amount of contact makes me feel colder.

"I'll call for it," she volunteers, walking quickly into the living room.

I'm not sure if I can do this. There is no doubt in my mind that I still love her. Not one doubt. I just don't know how to do this anymore. It's not as simple as working out our issues and trying again. We have Sophie now. If we were to try again and it didn't work, Sophie would actually understand what's going on. She would see us acting like regular parents and then if it didn't work she would be more heartbroken than us. And it got pretty bad at the end. We fought a lot. I couldn't do that, not to Sophie.

"It'll be here in a half hour," Savannah says. I nod, leaning agains the counter with my arms crossed. "Are you alright?"

"Hmm? Yeah. Yeah, of course. Why?"

"You look...I don't know, nervous or something," she says. Her eyes fill with the same kind of compassion as when Sophie's bottom lip starts to wobble when she's trying not to cry.

"I'm alright."

"Do you mind if I shower?" she asks, backing out of the kitchen.

"Go ahead."

"There's money in my purse for the pizza, it's just on the couch."

I laugh and shake my head. "Don't worry about it."

"Harry," she scolds. "Let me at least pay for half."

"Nope."

She rolls her eyes and pushes the door open, not arguing anymore since she probably knows it's useless. I don't care how much money she has, I'm going to take care of her when I can. I miss it. I miss doing things for her.

I head to the living room to watch some TV, my eyelids feeling heavier as I wait for the pizza to get here. Going to the zoo is exhausting, especially with a two year old.

"Daddy?"

Speaking of that two year old. Sophie comes out of her room, blankie tucked under her arm and dragging behind her as she rubs her eyes with her tiny hands. Her hair is matted at the back and it's pointing in all directions but she looks adorable.

"Come here, princess." I sit forward and hold my arms out, beckoning for her. She yawns as she walks towards me, slow and lazy from sleep. I lift her onto my lap. "Did you have a good sleep?"

"Is mummy gone?" she asks instead of answering my question.

"No, she's in her room." I can't help but smile; we're in Savannah's apartment so of course she's here still. Savannah is always bothered by my relationship with Sophie and she fails to see how much this little girl adores her. Rightfully so.

"Daddy, you stay here every night?" she asks, leaning her head against my chest. My heart tightens with sadness at her question.

"We've talked about this, Soph."

"Me like when I have mummy and a daddy," she says, trying to pull her blanket up onto the couch. I tuck it around her legs.

"You always have a mummy and a daddy," I remind her. This is so hard for her to understand; I hate it. It breaks my heart.

"I like together," she says.

"I know, baby. You know we love you, right? Even if mummy and daddy aren't living int he same house, we always love you. You'll always have both of us, I promise," I sooth, rubbing my hand up and down her back. She sighs and sticks her thumb in her mouth, eyelids drooping as she becomes distracted by the television.

---

"Harry." I feel a hand on my shoulder. "Harry, wake up."

Savannah's quiet voice lulls me out of sleep and I try not to move too much, immediately aware of Sophie laying on my chest sound asleep. I look up at Savannah and she smiles lovingly at us both.

"Let me put her in her bed," Savannah whispers.

"I didn't want to wake her," I explain. While we were watching Frozen Sophie fell asleep on me, and when Savannah wanted to move her I insisted she could stay with me.

"I know," she says. "But it's almost midnight. She won't wake up."

"Okay," I agree hoarsely. I kiss the top of Sophie's head before Savannah gently lifts her from my chest. Her cheek is squished against her mother's shoulder as she disappears into her bedroom. I heave myself up into a sitting position, running my fingers through my hair.

"You should go to bed too," Savannah says as she closes Sophie's door. "I changed the sheets for you and I still had some of your shampoo and stuff, so that's all in the bathroom if you want to use it."

"Thanks." I stand and stretch my arms over my head. Savannah is more maternal than she realizes. She's always had that motherly aspect to her, but for some reason she still doesn't see it.

"I'm going to bed," she says. "Do you need anything?"

"I'm good," I reply, walking towards her. She bites her lip and my insides stir, my eyes lingering a little too long and I know that she notices. I stop in front of her and she just stares up at me.

"Well...goodnight," she says quietly.

I almost start to say something but before I can she turns around and darts back to her bedroom. I need to figure this out. I'm not sure how much more of this I can take.

Notes

sorry for the wait im not actually happy with this chapter :/

let me know what you think!