"Savannah?" Madison steps into my office and I quickly glance up from the mound of paperwork on my desk. "I know you said not to bother you, but Harry's called twelve times since lunch."

Shit. Shit shit shit shit shitty shit shit. I guess avoiding him isn't working out very well for me.

"Okay." My face rests in my hands and the stress I'm feeling from every area of my life is finally weighing me down, like carrying around dumbbells without the option of putting them down. "Okay, I'll deal with it. Sorry, he won't bug you anymore."

"No, it's not a problem at all!" she says quickly. "I just thought it might be something important if he's called that much, so if it was then I just thought-"

"Madison, relax," I laugh. "It's fine, don't worry about it. I'll call him right now."

She nods and walks out again. It's still strange to me that she gets so nervous at work around me because we are actually friends. I'm also surprised that she hasn't figured out that her guess is the reason for my problems with Harry. It's been two days since Harry was at my place and we had that weird conversation about me eating right. I have no idea where that came from, but now that I know for sure I can't bring myself to talk to him. But now that he's harassing my employees I guess I don't have a choice.

Harry's number is dialled from memory and as soon as the phone is ringing in my ear there's a pounding in my chest and the contents of my extremely minimal lunch feel like they're trying to jump out of my stomach.

"Hello?"

"Harry, hi." I take a deep breath and begin to try to speak but he doesn't let me.

"Savannah, what the hell? Did you fall off the edge of the planet?"

"Harry, relax. I've been busy, work is-"

"Busy? You've been pretending I don't exist for the last two days!"

"Quit yelling at me," I snap. "It's not like I disappeared for a year, it's not that big a deal."

"I haven't seen Sophie in two days. You didn't forget about her, too, did you?"

"I can't deal with this right now." I slam the phone down on the receiver and once again my face is in my hands. Seconds later the phone is ringing again and I pick it up. "What."

"You realize how fucking angry you make me sometimes?" he says lowly. He doesn't sound that angry, just frustrated.

"Yeah."

"I'm coming over tonight."

"Yeah." We both sigh and my forehead rests in my palm. I'm completely exhausted.

"Okay. I'll bring dinner."

"Okay. Harry?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, I know. I'll see you tonight."

Well that was a lot simpler than I thought it'd be. I don't know why I always expect complicated with Harry, but that just seems to be the way our relationship works.

---

"Thanks for picking her up," I gush as soon as I step through the door. Harry looks up from playing with Sophie and smiles at me. "There was a last minute meeting and someone tried to shoplift from the store and I had to-"

"Savannah, take a breath." He stands and I slump back against the door, dropping everything in my hands as he walks towards me. "Are you okay?"

"Just stressed," I admit. He purses his lips and pulls me against him. Without thinking about it I'm breathing in the comfortable scent that is Harry Styles. "I'm okay, Harry."

"Okay." His hand rubs slowly up and down my back and my eyes fall closed in his comfort. This is one of my favourite places in the world, right here in his arms. "Why don't you go take a bath or something."

"No, it's fine."

"Soph, stay right here, okay?" he says, he takes my hand and leads me down the hall to my room. "You've been working way too hard lately."

"I'm fine."

"No." He walks straight to my bathroom and leads me to the edge of the tub, turning to face me. "I can see it on your face. You're exhausted."

"What are you doing?" I ask quietly as he leans down to get something out of the cupboard. Before he answers he starts running the water; Harry knows exactly how I like my baths. Temperature, scents, bubbles, salts. Everything is always perfect when he does it, which most girls probably can't say about the men in their lives.

"You need to relax," he says, standing up again and putting his hands on my arms. "Take your time, maybe fall asleep in there." I laugh and he smiles the crooked smile I fell in love with. "Don't drown, though."

"I'll try not to," I laugh, already feeling better just having him close. "Thanks, Harry."

"Do you need anything else?"

"No. Oh, wait! The bag by the door from the pharmacy. I bought magazines."

He laughs and walks to the door. "Okay, I'll be right back."

While I add what needs to be added to the water and Harry gets what I asked for I find myself wondering what the status of his situation is. With everything else going on I haven't even thought about it much, nor has he said anything. I'm guessing he'll let me know when he's finally out but...I don't know. I can't even think about that right now without feeling like throwing up.

"Here we go," he says, setting the bag on the counter. "I'm going to feed Sophie, but I'll make sure to leave some leftovers in the fridge."

"Okay." He smiles and goes to leave. "Thank you, Harry."

"Anytime, love," he says simply. As soon as he's shut the door I'm lunging for the bag and all the sticks I bought at the pharmacy. Those things can be wrong, right? I just need to make sure, so I bought seven more and drank a giant bottle of water on the way home. I'm bursting.

Peeing on a stick is so weird. After I've emptied myself on four of them I have to wait a while for the last three, so I step into the bath to wait and try to calm myself down. Either way, stress is not good for me so I need to find a way to relax, like Harry says. He's usually right. It's annoying as hell, but he is.

The idea of Harry and I expanding our family right now makes me so anxious. I want to be excited because realistically that's what it is, but things are so up in the air with us right now. Without any indication of what's going to happen it's really hard for me to get excited about anything. I've got so much riding on this relationship, we all do, and if things don't work out and there's actually another baby on the way I have no idea what I'll do.

When I have to pee again I decide to just drain the tub and forget about calming down because it clearly isn't going to happen. At this point I think Harry is the only thing that could take my mind off everything, but I'm trying to stand my ground on that front. It's so hard, though, not being able to have him when I need him the most.

"Harry?" I call, leaving my room. He's in the bathroom with Sophie trying to brush her teeth, which she hates. He gives me an exasperated smile while kneeling in front of her.

"Come on, Soph. Let Daddy have a turn," he says gently.

"No," she pouts. "Me big girl."

"I know, baby, but Mummy or Daddy always have to have a turn."

"Mummy do it."

"Sophie," I scold lightly. "Listen, please."

After a moment of standing there with her arms crossed and staring at the ground she lifts her head and opens her mouth for Harry. He sighs and starts brushing her teeth, her brow furrowed in the exact way he furrows his own when he's mad or upset or thinking way too hard about something.

"Okay, rinse," Harry says. He stands and runs her toothbrush under the water. "Do you feel better?"

"Umm...I guess." I step back so Sophie can walk to her bed. "I need to talk to you."

His eyes go wide and for some reason it seems like he's trying not to smile. "Yeah, okay. Just let me put her in bed."

"Yeah, I'll say goodnight." I follow Sophie into her room and get her tucked into her bed, her blonde curly hair wild across the pillow. "Did you have fun ay daycare today, Sophie?"

"Yeah," she says, yawning her cute little yawn. She reaches up to touch my hair. "Me fun Daddy."

"Good." I smile and lean down to kiss her forehead. "Love you, princess. Have a good sleep."

"Ni-night, Mummy," she says as I stand up. Harry smiles at me, leaning on his arm against the doorframe.

"I'll be in my room," I tell him. He nods and I slip by to get ready for this conversation. I haven't looked at the results of any of those tests, but I know that I have to tell Harry either way and we need to have a conversation about us sooner or later. All of this in between nonsense is starting to drive me insane. I'm pacing in front of my bed when Harry finally comes in, shutting the door behind him.

"What's going on?" he asks, taking in my current state. "Why are you-"

"Are you out?" I blurt suddenly. He sighs.

"Not yet," he admits quietly. "Soon."

"Okay." We're both silent for a moment before he takes a quick step towards me, a sudden move I wasn't expecting.

"I'm so close," he says. "Can we-"

I cut him off by kissing him, something I don't remember deciding to do. The stubble on his jaw pricks against my hands, his palms flat against my back. It feels like it's been so long since we've done this and now I never want to stop. I don't care anymore. I don't care about the fighting. I don't care about our problems. I don't care if I'm pregnant or not.

"Wait, what's-" He takes a deep, shaky breath and my eyes remain mostly focused on his lips. "What's happening right now?"

"I love you," I say simply, shrugging my shoulders. "And I'm not doing this in between shit anymore."

He smiles and his eyes light up brighter than I've seen in weeks. He buries his face against my neck and my stomach turns nervously for the next step in this process.

"I love you so much," he says quietly. "I'm so sorry for everything."

"I know." My fingers smooth through his hair. "There's...I need to tell you something."

"Okay." He pulls back and brushes the hair away from my face. "What's going on?"

"It's...well, it's sort of..." My lips pinches between my teeth and Harry smiles. "Actually, maybe I'll just show you."

"Okay..."

My hand slides into his and I slowly pull him towards the bathroom. There's no way I'll get this out and I don't even know for sure, plus it would be easier if he looked at the sticks for me. I don't thin that I would be able to.

"What is-" His eyes go wide and I wait patiently for him to realize. "Holy shit, I was right."

"Wait, what?"

"I was going to ask you something the other day while you were in the shower and I sort of...I saw the pregnancy test on your bed," he admits, smiling shyly. "I was waiting for you to tell me."

"So that's why you were being so weird," I realize, leaning against the vanity with my arms crossed. He laughs.

"Yeah, it- hang on, why are there so many?" he asks, pointing to the sticks. "How many babies are there?"

"Yes Harry, that's how it works. One baby per stick."

"Great, so we're set."

"Shut up," I laugh, lightly hitting his arm. He catches my hand before it falls away from him and tugs me to his body. "I haven't looked at them yet."

"Why not?"

"I...I can't. I'm scared." He kisses my forehead and my arms wrap around my waist. "There's no way we're ready for another baby. Things are so crazy and last time was...we didn't make it and I can't lose you again and I don't know how I'm going to-"

"Savannah, breathe," he says, wrapping his arms tight around me again. "Everything's going to be fine. I'm right here."

"Promise?" I whimper, fisting his shirt in my hands.

"Promise. I don't want to be anywhere else."

"Can you...I can't look at them."

"It's alright," he says softly. "I'll do it."

Harry keeps one arm around me while he reaches for the box I kept on the counter. He reminds me about the accuracy and that two lines means pregnant and everything else on the box and honestly it just seems like he's stalling and it's driving me crazy.

"Harry," I plead. "Please just look at the damn stick."

"Sticks," he corrects. I sigh and close my eyes, trying not to laugh at the adorable smile on his face. "You need to relax."

I nod and he kisses me once for reassurance that's almost impossible to give. After telling me once more that we're going to be okay he picks up one of the sticks. My eyes are only on his face, trying to gage his reaction. After a moment there's...disappointment?

"Harry?" He shows it to me and a range of emotions turn the contents of my stomach. One line.

"Negative," he says quietly. His green eyes find mine and I can see that he's not pleased with that result. I don't know how to feel.

"Okay." I swallow and run my hand up and down his back. "Check the other ones."

"Okay."

He picks up the next one and turns it over, less excitably than before. His eyes go wide and his mouth drops open, and not just a little bit. Once again he doesn't tell me what it says and I can't see it. He tosses it in the sink and picks up the next one and the next one without ever saying anything or showing them to me.

"Harry, I'm going crazy!" I finally say. "What do they say?"

"They're positive," he says, smiling like a little kid.

"What?"

"They're positive, all of the rest are positive," he says, laughing a little as he does. When they're all laying in the sink he hugs me, lifting me off the ground and kissing the side of my neck. I can't help but laugh with him. If he's this happy and excited there's no reason I shouldn't be. This is a good thing. We're going to be fine.

We have to be.

Notes

AAAAAH!!!
i hope i got you guys with the negative thing cuz i didn't want it to be so obvious like it was before :P

anyway yaaaaaaaaay :D another baby!!!!!!!!! AH IM SO EXCITED
some intense shit is coming.

please tell me what you think :)
thanks so much for reading you guysss i love you!!!!!