Harry and I sit in silence on the couch for a few minutes, watching Sophie play happily with her dolls. Technically, this conversation has to be had. Realistically, though, I know how awkward it's going to be and I'm sure neither of us actually want to have it. Especially after the day we had together was so perfect. Sure, things were a little different than normal, but it worked and we were happy and we got along perfectly. I don't want to ruin that by making things uncomfortable or having a weird argument.

"You...you remember right?" he asks nervously. "What happened, I mean."

"Of course," I say, laughing nervously. "I wasn't that drunk."

He nods and rubs his hand along his stubbly chin. I know most of what he's thinking revolves around Sophie and how this is going to affect her. I'm thinking the same thing. Wherever our relationship goes is going to have a direct impact on her. She doesn't remember how much we fought before and if she had to go through that now I know it would destroy her. She already hates it when we argue, and we manage to keep it away from her most of the time.

"Maybe we should talk about this later," I suggest finally. He looks over at me. "After we've had dinner and Sophie is in bed."

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea," he agrees. "Do you mind if I shower?"

"Go ahead." He nods and I look back at Sophie, twirling my hair between my fingers. Harry doesn't make any moves to actually go to the bathroom, and when I look at him again he's just staring at me. "What?"

"I just..." He sighs and shakes his head, standing from the couch. "Forget it. I'll be right back."

I watch him walk away, curious about what he was about to say to me. I want to believe that we can work this out in a normal manor and that there won't be any issues, maybe that we could even try again. But I don't see that happening. Nothing has ever been that easy for us.

It's insane to think about the last five years of my life. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect myself to fall in love the way I did, nor did I expect to have my heart broken the way I did. Harry being my teacher when we met is another thing I really didn't expect, obviously. The thing is, even now with things the way they are I don't regret a single thing. I wouldn't take back a single moment that Harry and I have spent together, even the difficult ones. It was hard, which is how I know it was real. I wouldn't take away that relationship for anything. I'll always love Harry. I know that. Even if we decided to stay platonic, I would never completely get over a love like that. I don't know if I'd be as happy as I was with Harry, but I really don't want to be alone forever. Not after experiencing being with someone like that.

And Sophie. Sophie is the light of my life, there is nothing that would ever make me regret her. Harry gave me Sophie and I will always love him for that. She deserves a family, not two where her father and mother live separately. She deserves the three of us to lives together in one place where we're all happy. Harry would come home from work to the two of us and we'd eat dinner together. She would get tucked in by two instead of one. I want that for her, I really do. I just don't know if I can give it to her.

A knock on the door pulls me out of my web of thoughts, a tangled and messy web that doesn't let me escape for long. Sophie follows me to the door, hiding behind my legs while I pay for the food and the delivery guys tries to talk to her. She doesn't respond, so he just laughs and goes back down the elevator.

"Hungry, Soph?" I ask her as she follows me to the kitchen. She nods and tries tot climb onto her booster seat, my smile light as I lift her onto it. She tells me all about her dolls while I serve the food onto plates. I hope Harry comes back before the food gets cold.

Harry's POV

The hot water runs over my head and down my body, my hands leant against the wall with my head hanging low. I have no idea what the hell I'm going to do.

I love Savannah. Of course I love her, she's amazing. There's nothing I want more than to be able to be a family with her and Sophie. Even thinking about the three of us living together makes me smile. I don't want to live in that shitty apartment alone anymore. I need them there with me.

But does Savannah even want that? Our relationship is so fragile right now, so easily disrupted and changed. Even if we did decide to try and make this work, how would that go? Trying and failing again would completely break me. I don't want to put any of us through that, not me, not Sophie and not Savannah. I don't think any of us would make it through that in one peice. And I could never dangle a complete family in Sophie's face only to have it torn apart once again.

I finally shut the water off and step out of the shower, a towel wrapped around my waist after getting the excess water from my hair. When I step out to head to my bedroom my eyes catch the two girls. Savannah is leaning on her elbows in front of Sophie, a loving smile on her face while she listens to whatever colourful story Sophie must be telling. My heart starts beating faster as I watch her.

I love her so much. I want this life with her. I just don't know if it's within my reach.

Savannah looks around then, her eyes catching mine. Her face flushes, probably because I'm only in a towel. She smiles at me and then turns back to Sophie. With my heart in my mouth I go to my room to get dressed. We won't be going anywhere, so I settle with sweatpants and a tank top. When I get back out there Savannah is sitting next to Sophie, eating beside her.

"How is it?" I ask, walking around the island to the containers. Savannah looks at Sophie, who is happily sucking up noodles without paying any attention to us. We both laugh and I stick some food in the microwave for myself.

"Do you know when your mother is coming back?" Savannah asks, looking down at her plate.

"She didn't tell me."

She nods and I take a seat next to her, eating in silence while I'm sure we're both coming up for a way to handle the conversation that's coming. I want to know what she's thinking so fucking badly.

"Daddy?"

"Yes, angel," I answer, leaning forward so I can see Sophie.

"You kiss mummy?"

My mouth drops open and Savannah starts coughing, choking on the food that was in her mouth. Sophie just stares at me innocently, completely unaware of the implications of her question. When the hell did she see us kissing?

"What?" Savannah croaks, covering her mouth.

"Me see mummy kiss you," she says happily. I just stare at her, and after a minute I look over at Savannah. We're both stunned. What the hell do you say to that? Savannah finally looks at me with wide eyes.

"She saw us last night," she whispers. I completely forgot. Sophie walking in the living room is the reason we stopped. This is definitely a new situation.

When I look back at Sophie she's playing with her food again, oblivious to me and Savannah. I'm not even sure how Sophie knows we were kissing. She knows kissing in regards to me or Savannah kissing her goodnight, not Savannah sitting on my lap and definitely not making out. That is not something she knows.

We finish eating in silence, a silence more awkward than I've ever experienced with Savannah. Even worse than breakfast this morning. When Savannah starts cleaning up I just watch her. She avoids looking at me completely, but I can't help it. I know what I want. I just don't know how to get it.

"Let me do that," I offer when she opens the dishwasher. She doesn't respond, so I walk over to her and put my hand on her arm. She pauses and looks up at me, her eyes glossy. "Woah, what's wrong?"

She shakes her head and looks away from me. She's crying? I never wanted to make her cry, this wasn't supposed to happen. She tries to start cleaning again, but I wrap my hand around her arm, pulling her back to me.

"Talk to me," I whisper, putting my hands on either side of her face. She closes her eyes, a tear rolling down her cheek.

"She's going to be so confused," she whispers back finally. When she opens her eyes they're still teary. "I can't..."

I pull her against my body, wrapping her in an embrace. I don't want her to make any decisions, not on her own without talking to me first. This is going to be rough, but we need to talk about it before any final decisions are made.

I look at Sophie over Savannah's head, her wide green eyes observing us closely. I smile at her and she giggles a little. The noise brings Savannah back to earth, stepping back from me and wiping the tears from under her eyes.

"Soph, do you want to watch Dora?" she asks.

"Yeah!" she squeals.

"I'm going to give her a bath," Savannah says, wiping her hands and mouth quickly before lifting her from the seat. "We can watch it in my room."

"Okay." I watch her for a moment since she doesn't walk away. Our eyes meet and something inside me flips.

"You can join us," she says quietly. I nod and she heads towards the bathroom. How am I going to do this?

After everything is cleaned up I can hear the theme song for Dora coming from Savannah's room.When I get in the doorway Savannah is tickling Sophie, her high giggles bringing a smile to my face. I lean against the frame, watching the two play together. Sophie's laugh is the happiest sound I've ever heard.

"So you're not watching to show?" I ask. Savannah stops and smiles at me, Sophie crawling away from her so she can't be tickled anymore. I walk over and lift her off the bed, tossing her above my head to elicit more giggles.

"Daddy watch too," she says, putting both hands on my face. I look over at Savannah, for permission or for her to want me to join them. She smiles and nods her head, adjusting the pillows so we can all sit against the headboard. Sophie sits between Savannah and I, my hands folded in my lap with my legs in front of me.

"Who's your favourite?" I ask Sophie. She points to the screen.

"Boots!"

I laugh and look at Savannah, also smiling fondly at her. When our eyes meet she lets them linger for a moment before turning her attention to the TV. I thought our age difference would matter less as we both got older, but now I feel like I notice it even more. I'm twenty-eight, so this is what I should be doing. I love having a daughter and this kind of life. Savannah, though, is only twenty-two. There aren't a lot of people her age that have a daughter and a company in Manhattan. She seems so young to be doing so much with her life.

She looks over at me, smiling a little when she catches me staring.

"What?"

"I was just thinking," I reply quietly. She smiles and looks down at Sophie, brushing her fingers over her blonde hair. "Are you happy?"

She looks up at me her head cocked to the side in question. "What?" she asks again.

"I want you to be happy," I continue. She leans her head against the headboard. "Are you?"

"Of course," she says in a whisper.

We watch the rest of the show in silence, and by the end Sophie is sound asleep. Savannah says to just let her sleep in her bed for now at least, and we both leave after each kissing her forehead. I follow her out into the living room. Here we go.

"Why didn't you stop me?" she asks suddenly, spinning around when she's in front of the window. It catches me off guard.

"What?" I choke out.

"Last night. You should have just pushed me away," she continues.

"Savannah, either way we would have had to have this conversation," I remind her. "It was coming eventually, we both know that."

"I don't want her to be confused about this, Harry. She hates going back and forth between us enough as it is, I don't want her to see another option and be sad because she can't have it."

"I know," I agree.

"She deserves a family," Savannah continues, her voice breaking from a tight throat. I walk towards her and she closes her eyes. "We can't hurt her."

"I know," I agree again. I hug her again, and this time she wraps her arms around me.

"Why is this so hard?" she whispers against my chest. I kiss the top of her head and breathe out a sigh.

"I don't know." After a moment I smile. "Has it ever been easy?"

She laughs a little and looks up at me. Her eyes close as I tuck her hair behind her ear. We haven't been close like this in a long time.

"I miss you," I whisper finally. "You know that, right?"

"I don't know if that's enough."

"What?"

She sighs and wipes under her eyes. "We care about each other, Harry. That hasn't changed. But we have so many other things to think about here."

"What do you want?"

"It's not that simple," she says quietly.

"I know, but it matters," I assure her. She looks up at me and takes a step to put some distance between us.

"What are we talking about here?" she asks. "I thought we were addressing what happened last night, not our whole relationship."

"They kind of go together, don't you think?"

"I guess, but-"

"Savannah, things have been different between us," I continue, not giving her a chance to try to convince both of us that this isn't a good idea. "Even before we kissed last night. We need to talk about us, about everything, not just about the kiss."

"I'm not ready for that," she says honestly. I take a step towards her.

"Tell me what you want," I request again, "From me." She doesn't say anything so I continue. Maybe me going first is the push she needs you. "Can I tell you something?"

"Of course."

"You probably already know this," I tell her quietly, stepping forward again. She stares up at me and I take her hand in mine. "I still love you."

"Harry," she whispers, her eyes closing as she shakes her head.

"I do," I assure her, placing my hands on either side of her face. "I never stopped." Savannah places her hands on my wrist, an action that leads me to believe she's going to make me step away. She doesn't.

"What if it doesn't work?" she asks quietly, gazing up at me again. Her eyes are glossy for the second time tonight.

"What if it does?"

I want this so badly. I didn't let myself want her this much before, because I know it would only hurt both of us even more. Now though, I can't help myself. I love her so much and I don't know how much longer I can go without having her with me. I just need her.

Savannah surprises me by wrapping her arms around my neck, her lips pressed forcefully to mine. The kiss is desperate, hungry. I don't know if there has ever been this much passion between two people.

My arms wind around her waist and immediately everything feels familiar. Her tongue against mine, our bodies so close, the hammering in my chest that always accompanies her kiss. It's all familiar and exhilarating and I could never get enough. I don't know if this is my answer, but right now it's all I need.

I wrap my hands around her thighs, lifting her up so they wrap around my waist. She separates quickly for a breath but all too soon her lips are against mine again. I'm completely overwhelmed by this kiss and I know that I'm not thinking clearly, but I don't care. I really don't care.

Everything feels like four years ago when I turn and head for my room. Her fingers find my hair, not even a centimetre of space between us. I'm amazed that I don't hit anything on the way there, but when my hand finds the doorknob I've never been more relieved or excited in my entire life. When my knees hit the bed we both fall forward. Savannah surprises me by laughing under me, our kiss breaking with heavy breaths.

"I love you," I remind her again. She brushes her hands through my hair, pushing it away from my forehead when it falls in front of my eyes. Her other hand hooks around my neck and she pulls my face down, reconnecting our lips.

Notes

another cliffhangerrrrrr
whats going to happen next?!?!?!?!

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