Alter ➳ h.s

e i g h t
photographic moments
harry

Ember’s dress was possibly silk but tattered and dirty as if she’d walked here, which I guessed she has since her stockings were ripped and dirty. After placing the picture on a line next to others, I attempted to walk past her, but the door proved to only be wide enough for one person. Our bodies were held together, her breath on my chest. We talked from there. “What are you doing here?” I asked.

“I should ask you the same thing.”

I pressed past her and guided myself to the sitting area and took a seat. “I couldn’t sleep. So I came here and thought I’d develop some photos.” She knew I was lying, she’d told me before that I needed to work on my lying, but she didn’t comment. “What are you doing here?” I asked again.

“You were right.” She found a seat across the room and put her feet up, no longer caring that she was in a dress worth thousands of dollars. “I’ve always hated Ben’s mom but today, she just irritated me.”

“Or maybe it wasn’t her.”

She looked at me and started biting on her index nail. Not to bite it off, but to kill the urge to argue. “Right again, you are. Ben. It’s all Ben. He’s just not the best he’s ever been right now. I’m lost.”

“Me too,” I whispered. I was slightly hoping she heard me. “I, uh, brought some extra clothes. I didn’t plan on going back to the hotel until tomorrow. You know, if you don’t want to wear that dress all night.”

“Who said I was staying here all night?” She thought for a moment. “Where’s the bag?” Ember disappeared for five minutes to change into basketball shorts and a long shirt. She took the rubber band that was holding her hair in a ponytail to tie the shorts to make them tighter and she tucked in the shirt so it wouldn’t be as baggy. Although her hair was a mess and her legs weren’t as clean as we both knew they could be, she looked great. Amazing, in fact. And it made me wonder how stupid you had to be to fuck up your chances with her. “Thanks.”

“It’s no problem. Too bad your dinner didn’t work out.”

“Yeah, let’s not talk about that, okay?” I nodded. Dr. Griffin says I have the tendency to forget when people don’t want to talk about things, or I force it out of them. “I’m sorry, by the way. About earlier, I shouldn’t have gone off like that.”

“It’s fine. I was wrong, you were right, whatever. It’s over.” She licked her lips then pursed them, looking over at me.

“You’re a character, Styles. One that I might like.” I took that as a compliment somehow because I knew that was the closest I would get to one. I’m not sure if it was between the time her phone rang at four in the morning from Ben and she ignored it or at four thirty when it kicked in that Ben was gone and she was crying. Either way, Ember fell asleep on the old couch on the other side of the room. She refused to let me help her when she was upset and I didn’t budge, even though I probably should have.

I fell asleep thinking about a lot of things. About maybe Ember likes me and that’s why she stayed. Then I’d look at her across the room sleeping and think, Or maybe she’s using me. Maybe she doesn’t even care about me or how I feel. She just wants to see how much I may give her just so she won’t tell the world about my possible insanity. It was either the delusions or the fear. Either way, I was afraid that the only person worth explaining to wasn’t listening anyway.

➳ ➳

“And your character is that of a clueless fish, lost in a sea of wonder. It looks and searches for a way out to only see another open door. When will you see that you will not like what you will find at the end of your journey? Your soul as hollow as the bottles you drink every midnight. Midnight because that was her favorite time. The time between the previous day and the next, where whatever you did in that one minute didn’t matter. So dear child, when you stumble upon the disgusting truth, you will know where to find me. This is a letter to you, for you, and from you.”

I awoke to the sound of Ember reading aloud. My eyes adjusted to the light and it made me wonder who paid the electric bill for this place. She’d been reading out of some book but it sounded like a letter to me that she was reading on purpose. I went to get up but realized I was on the hard floor. My shoulder hurt. It hurt a lot. The ground was hard and made me want to jump into a pile of pillows. But nothing could beat the sound of her melodic voice reciting words off a page. “Where is that from?”

She jumped a little when I got off the ground and said, “Never heard of the author. The book is called ‘From Here to There’,” she explained. I started looking around, “They’re in the back, where you left them.” She was talking about my pills. I found my shorts on the ground and looked Ember. She was in the shirt and her panties, I didn’t mind. “But there’s no water here so I’d advise you to not take them dry.”

“Thanks.” Even though I knew, of all things, to not take pills dry. I cleared my throat and ventured after my phone to call Louis and apologise for not coming back. He yelled at me, then said to get back at soon as possible. That we were leaving today. I knew in the back of my mind that today would be my last day in Michigan until the tour started but I didn’t want to believe that Ember would just be another pretty face met along the way. “I’m leaving today.”

“Yeah, I know. I watch the news, and Louis talks on the phone really loud.” She didn’t smile but I almost did. She seemed upset. Then I remembered that Ben had left for a different state, of course she’d be upset. “I’m not upset that he left, I’m upset about what happened before he left. Do you have a car? I’m not walking home.”

“Oh, yeah. Sure.” I went into the room in the back to collect my pictures and left just one. Only one. “Here,” I said to Ember while she found her dress to put back on. “Put this on. It’s longer so it draws the attention away from your ripped stockings. Even though people will think that I did that.” She knew I meant sexually and nodded, clearing her throat.

I grabbed my pill bottles from the back table and helped her climb out of the roof, I went next. I walked barefoot and allowed her to wear my shoes since her feet were cut from walking barefoot last night and I figured she wouldn’t want to walk in heels. Once we got to the front of the ‘Commerce Creamery’ shop, paparazzi appeared. Questions like, “Who’s the lucky lady?” or, “When did you snag her up?” surfaced and made me highly uncomfortable.

With the absence of my sunglasses and pills, I didn’t know what to do. I guess Ember noticed this and laced her hand with mine, rubbing my knuckles. It was weird since I should be doing that to her, not the other way around, but it nonetheless soothed the oncoming panic attack. When we reached the car, I sat there for a minute and took a deep breath. She stared at me, “Do you want me to drive?” I shook my head and started the car. Honking the horn and going at least two miles per hour to make sure to not run anyone over was not how I planned on spending my morning.

Once directions were given, I pulled into Ember’s driveway. “This is a nice house,” I complimented.

“Yeah, well. I absolutely hate it. It’s too big for just four people.”

“Four?” I guessed the fourth being Ben.

“My brother, Jason.” She reached into the back seat to grab her shoes and pulled off mine. “Are you hungry? My mom might be cooking since Ben isn’t here anymore. Only if you want to.”

“I-I, uh. I can’t,” I lied. “Louis needs me, remember.”

“Right. Right, of course, Louis needs you. Well these last few days haven’t been the worst. It was nice meeting you, Harry. Hope all is well in the end.” She got out of the car and walked into her house, she didn’t look back. I felt bad then. Like I should have gone in and met her parents and eaten possibly good food since I’m starving. But no, I was bad at making food decisions, so how could I make a life decision?

The drive to the hotel was depressing knowing that Ember would just be another pretty face in the crowd of millions that I will meet. And it sucked. When I did park, everyone was leaving. Liam opened my trunk and began loading things into it, “We’re leaving a little early. Louis read our tickets wrong. We might be an hour late, but you know, it’s okay.” I watched Liam go through his episode and then handed him his bottle of water from the ground that he’d set it on. “Thanks. Where were you all night?”

I closed the trunk and we both leaned against it, “I was with Ember. Her boyfriend left this morning, so that sucked for her.”

“Oh, yeah, the prick. Got her number?”

“Nope.”

“Then I guess she’s just one more.” Once more…? Girl? The one that got away? What was he talking about? I concluded that we didn’t have time for my questions and just got into the car. Everyone could fit, but I didn’t want to drive. So, Louis dangerously drove while Niall sat in the passenger’s seat and the rest of us in the back.

“Are you positive you’re still allowed to drive here?” Niall would ask and Louis, who would roll his eyes and respond with, “No, Niall. Harry just willingly gave the keys to his vehicle to a person who is illegally driving throughout a foreign country. So no, I’m not allowed to drive in America.” We’d all sigh and Niall would still say, “Well, okay then.” Then ask the same question five minutes later.

It got to the point where Zayn got so irritated, he just simply told Niall to shut the fuck up, and he did. The rest of the car ride was filled with silence other than Louis occasionally whistling or Liam picking at the sleeve of his shirt and quietly beatboxing. “Okay,” I said. “I might as well be considered a psychopath and even I’m bored with this. Someone do something.”

“The potato,” Louis said.

“The potato?” I asked.

“Sat on a log,” Niall added.

“While there was fog,” said Zayn.

“And ate the frog,” Liam ended.

Everyone looked at me. “The potato sat on a log while there was fog, and ate the frog that lived in the log.” They all cheered,“Hey!” We continued the childish game until Louis reached the airport. Hundreds of girls and guys were lining up and flashing cameras were constantly in the way. I know the tour hasn’t started yet, but how will I survive?

Notes

#Hember, anyone? They're cute, can't wait for the story to keep going. I'm on chapter ten currently. I always keep a one chapter distance unless I'm behind so I don't feel rushed. Love you all x

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