I can't control it.
Yeah, I know it's taking over me.

Lara didn’t want to go home.

Her stomach was in knots as she stared down at her barely touched breakfast.

“Are you okay?” Harry asked a concerned look on his face.

“Yeah… just thinking about having to go back to work today.”

Harry pretended to pout and Lara forced a smile before she quickly checked her watch. Ben said he’d be home later that morning; if she left now, she’d have time to get home and prepare herself. She’d have to face Ben sooner or later so there was no point in prolonging the confrontation.

Lara stood at Harry’s door and stood on her tiptoes to kiss him on the lips as he wrapped his arms around her.

“I’ll be back from LA on Sunday.” He told her. “I’ll call you when I get back.”

Five days without seeing or speaking to Harry. The thought of it only added to her sadness, but she hid her disappointment with a smile.

“Okay.” She said. “Thanks for letting me stay.”

Harry grinned at her before kissing the tip of her nose.

“It was my pleasure.” He said, before his lips lowered to her mouth.

Lara left the relative safety of Harry’s apartment to the unknown of home. She tentatively opened the door to enter a quiet apartment. She let out a small sigh of relief, even though she knew this was only a temporary respite and walked into to her bedroom to place her bag down. The door swung open and before she could even turn around, she felt someone yank her by the hair and then push her down on the bed.

“Where were you?”

Lara looked up to see a furious Ben standing over her, his usual pleasant face twisted with anger.

“I-I just went out for a while.”

“Where have you been for the last two days?”

“Nowhere!” Lara cried.

Ben lowered himself over her, until his face was mere inches away.

“I’ve been calling you for two days straight-“

“I spoke to you on the first day.” Lara spluttered.

“Don’t play dumb! What about my other calls?”

He pulled her up on her feet so that she was standing flush against him and then pushed her against the wall, grabbing her wrists tightly and pinning them up above her head.

“Let’s play a little game…” Ben snarled. “It’s called ‘Listen and Learn’. It’s an easy game… I lay down the ground rules and you follow them.”

His face was mere inches away from her own, his eyes boring into her frightened brown eyes.

“If I call. You better fucking answer the phone.” He seethed, squeezing her wrists harder. “If I
text. You better fucking text me back.”

“Ben, you’re hurting me.” Lara sobbed, tears rolling down her cheek.

“If I say jump. You better fucking ask how high.” He continued ignoring her pleas. His hands let go of her wrists and she crossed her arms defensively as his hand reached to tilt her chin up.

“Baby girl I know you’ve been stealing my stash.” He growled, his hot breath fanning her face. Lara closed her eyes in response, and he squeezed her face until they opened.

“No more Lara… until I say so. No more. Don’t ask me for any and don’t go looking for it.”

“Ben please-“

“No.” He said firmly. “You just want it your way all the time.”

“Me?” Lara cried incredulously. “What about you and Claire?”

“Claire is Claire.” Ben said dismissively. “You don’t need to worry about her.”

“Are you even listening to yourself?”

“Listen Lara… count yourself lucky that you have a fucking roof over your head.” He said, his voice rising. “I’m the one who took you in and helped you out remember? Your parents don’t care… hell they don’t even want to know you. Harry didn’t want you… and I don’t see anybody else putting their hand up to take care of you.”

“Stop it.” Lara muttered, and almost choked when his hand shot up and grabbed her by the neck.

“I’ve wanted you for so long and you still treat me like shit.” He said evenly. “You can’t keep doing this to me.”

A look of sadness came over his face, and his rough hold suddenly turned into a caress. His fingers wiped away the tears on her cheek before he leant his forehead against her.

“I hate being mad at you.” He murmured.

His arms circled her waist and Lara resisted the urge to pull away.

“What about the coke… you’re not really going to cut me off, are you?” She said in a tiny voice.

Ben gave her an incredulous look before he pushed her away roughly, causing her to slump onto the floor.

“That’s all you fucking care about!” He yelled. ”I try and take care of you and then you just throw it in my face.”

Ben stormed out leaving Lara lying on the floor. She rubbed her tender wrists before burying her face in her hands.

X

Lara robotically unloaded her tray of coffee cups and then made her way into the kitchen before returning to the serving area.

“Are you okay?” She heard James ask, casting a concerned look in her direction.

“Yeah, I just didn’t sleep well last night.” Lara replied. She had looked in the mirror that morning to see black circles beneath her dull eyes. She hadn’t been able to sleep since the fight with Ben. It had been three days of her walking around on eggshells and him bending over backwards to please her. Except when it came to the drugs. He had steadfastly refused to give her anything and she could start to feel it. The sleepless nights… the nervousness… the constant thoughts that invaded her mind. She tried to push it away and there were moments when she was fine. And then the longing would return, and she could not think of anything else. Not even Harry.

“Do you want to go home?” James asked.

“No.” Lara replied swiftly.

“Has Ben been hassling you again?” James eyes narrowed.

“No he hasn’t.”

James eyes lowered to her shaky right hand, and he placed his hand over it.

“Are you sure?” He asked. “Because if he is, I want you to tell me. I don’t like the way he treats you Lara.”

“I’m sure. “ Lara said moving her hand away.

“Are you still seeing Harry?” James suddenly asked.

The sound of Harry’s name made her frown.

“Yeah but it’s nothing. We’re just friends.” She said dismissively. “I don’t want anybody to know about it.”

“Well I’m definitely not going to tell that douchebag you live with.”

“Harry’s in LA anyway…” Lara trailed off. She had googled his name yesterday to see the following headline pop up on the screen.

Harry Styles Returns to LA with Mystery Blonde

For the second time in a month pop star Harry Styles has returned to LA, during One Direction’s hiatus. The band is currently having a well-deserved break after their recent gruelling world tour, leaving Harry to continue globetrot around the world.

Harry’s trips to LA have become commonplace, but not so much the company he was spotted with. It appears he is travelling with a pretty blonde and we have the exclusive pictures just for you!

The girl was seen travelling in a different car to Harry, but their hotel destination appeared to be the same. They were later seen being secretly ushered through the back door, but not before photographers snapped a few photos.

Harry has managed to remain single since the break-up of his long term relationship with student girlfriend Lara Ballantyne and then his brief fling with model Paige Harrison.
Has the blonde girl finally managed to tie Harry down?

Lara had stared at the screen for a moment, not believing what she was reading. The photos didn’t show much; just an action shot of Harry moving through a crowd with a blonde girl following closely behind him. The girl was the same person she had seen at the café and the party. The girl with the purple streak in her hair. She still looked familiar, yet Lara could not quite place her even though she was sure she had seen her before.

Her heart had begun beating more quickly and the desire to get high grew stronger and stronger. Wave after wave of emotions began to hit her, starting with confusion and progressing through to anger. What the fuck was Harry doing? She thought to herself. Was he hooking up with anyone and everyone that came his way? Is that all she meant to him?

What does he mean to me? She suddenly thought, and she could feel herself growing warm at the very sentiment. But she shoved the answer down deep within her. She didn’t want to think about what Harry meant to her. All she could focus on now was on a way to forget what was happening in her life right now.

X

Her fingers paused a few times, before she let them swipe over her phone. A voice inside her told her to stop. Go home, get some sleep. You need to study. She had just transferred into a more demanding Interior Architecture course which was to last longer than her original choice of Interior Design. This meant a student loan, more intense study, and a need to work to make money and pay for it all. Which meant she needed rest. Go home.

But her fingers dialled Louis’ number instead.

Notes