Silence and sound
Did they ever hold each other tight like us?
Did they ever fight like us?

It took a while to decide on a place to meet.

It took so long, Harry had to give up on texting and actually call her.

When he suggested going out, Lara shut him down.

“We’re not supposed to see each other again, remember?” She reminded him. “Especially in
public.

“Your place then?”

“Um, I don’t think that’s a great idea. My roommate’s always home.” She said quickly.

“My place then?” He said uncertainly.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” She replied vividly remembering their past intimate encounters at his home.

“Uh okay.” He said and she thought she heard him sigh. “Listen, a friend of mine is having a get together at his house. Wanna come? We can just hang out.”

“Okay.” She replied although inside she was already starting to not only question his motives but even her own motives. Why was she allowing herself to be pulled back into a situation that had almost broken her a year ago? She focussed on all the questions and less on the answers, not really wanting to analyse it too deeply because the basic truth was she just wanted to see him.

Lara refused Harry’s offer to pick her up from her apartment. The less he knew about her living arrangements, the better. Instead she insisted on meeting him at his friend’s house. It soon became obvious that he lived in a nice part of London and it made her feel suddenly self-conscious. She wondered what type of party it was and whether people were going to be dressed up.She had realised it was going to be a rich area from the address given, but had gone ahead and worn her ripped skinny jeans and Converse shoes anyway. Subconsciously she wanted to show Harry that she hadn’t put a huge effort in looking good for him, but now she was beginning to regret it.

Lara paused before knocking on the door as her nerves got the best of her, but managed to shake them away. The door opened to reveal a young guy in a hoodie.

“Hi, I’m Lara.” She said, and he nodded with a flicker of recognition.

“Come on in, Harry’s on the balcony.”

Lara walked through the spacious apartment, glancing at the people who sat in the small groups. The smell of pot invaded her senses as she headed to the balcony. Inhaling the
fresh air outside, she looked around to see Harry casually sitting on the floor of all places.

She was relieved to see him wearing a casual scooped T-shirt and ripped jeans, making her feel more comfortable about the way she looked.

“Hey you came.” He said with a smile before rising to his feet. She nodded with a small smile as he gave her a hug. She looked over his shoulder to see a couple of guys watching them closely before they suddenly disappeared into the apartment as if by some unheard command. She glanced around to see she was now alone with him.

“I didn’t think you were going to turn up.” He said, gesturing to a cushion on the floor.

“Why?” Lara sat down, and adjusted the cushion so she was leaning on it. She grabbed another one to hold, as though it were a shield, and was secretly glad she did when he sat down right next to her, barely leaving a gap between them.

“I thought you hated me.” He said simply, and then he grinned.

“I did.” She said and she tried not to smirk when she saw his face fall.

“But you’re here now.” He quickly recovered from his surprise, his voice now low and suggestive.

“I guess I wanted to hear what you have to say for yourself.” She replied.

“Well what do you want me to say?” He asked and she looked at him blankly. She didn’t know what she wanted him to say. Maybe that he was sorry about all that happened?

“Maybe that you’re sorry about all that happened?” She blurted the words out as soon as she thought them.

“Sorry about what?” He said. “Look I know we went through a lot of shit together… but I’ve got nothing to be sorry about.”

“No? Even after you led me on?” She asked.

“Led you on?” Harry asked incredulously, “You never did anything you didn’t want to do Lara. I never forced you into anything.”

“But you made me think that you cared… you made me think-“

“I did care-“

“Then what about Paige?” Her voice rose suddenly as she roughly discarded the cushion she was holding. “If you cared so much why did you kiss her? Didn’t you think that would hurt me?”

“I told you I made a mistake…” He said cringing at the sound of Paige’s name. “And it didn’t mean anything anyway…”

Lara glared at him unimpressed as he trailed off. She couldn’t believe they had gone from being friendly to fighting so quickly, but her pent up emotions were finally being released and it felt good to see him look flustered. That is before a sudden indignant look came over his face

“So you didn’t think I got hurt when that asshole didn’t turn out to be your Uncle?” He asked.

“That was different.” Lara said lowering her gaze.

“How? You were still lying to me.”

“Well you sold me out!” Lara cried. “You went and told Julian all about it didn’t you? Why did you have to go and do that?”

“Because.” Harry pouted. “I wanted to get him away from you.”

Lara fell silent, even though she was dying to berate him more. But she found herself holding back. If he probed any further he’d discover that Ben was still a big part of her life, and she didn’t think she wanted him to know.

“Getting him out of your life is probably the best thing I ever did when it came to you and me.” He continued. “You probably already know Julian fired him.”

“Yeah I heard.” Lara replied uncomfortably. They stared into space for a moment before
Harry spoke, his voice sounding slightly uncomfortable.

“You never contacted me… why?”

“You changed your number.” Lara replied swiftly.

“You weren’t going to call me even if I hadn’t.” Harry mumbled.

“Well then it’s not as if you ever called me.” Lara shot back.

They both sighed in exasperation, looking everywhere but at each other.

“Would you listen to us?” Harry finally said with an empty laugh.

The balcony door suddenly opened and a guy stepped out holding a joint.

“You guys sorted?” He asked.

“Nah, she’s not into the stuff.” Harry answered for her Lara without even looking at her.

“How about you?” The guy looked at Harry and Lara saw a hint of temptation cross his face.

“Don’t let me stop you.” Lara muttered.

“Nah, I’m good.” Harry shook his head. The guy shrugged his shoulders and stepped back into the apartment. He left the door open allowing the first strains of the song ‘Talk Dirty to Me’ to float outside.Lara turned to see Harry moving to the music from his seated position.

“What are you doing?” She asked flatly.

“What does it look like?” He asked shaking his shoulders to the beat. “I’m dancing.”

“Uh okay.” Lara replied giving him a strange look. “Are you sure you’re not high?”

“Wanna dance with me?” He asked ignoring her.

“No.” She instantly replied and he made a face at her, “I just want to know what we’re doing.”

“Let’s just say we’re friends.” Harry said with an air of finality.

“Friends.” Lara repeated. “I remember your idea of being friends used to be really fucked up.”

Harry looked at her from the corner of his eye and smiled.

X

Lara returned home later that night to find Ben alone.

“Everything okay?” He asked when he saw Lara look a bit flushed to see him.

“I just thought you were going to be out tonight.” She said trying to compose herself.

“I got me a little something tonight.” He said and she looked over to the pile of white powder on the table. She couldn’t help but eagerly take a step toward it, instantly regretting her actions when he said.

“Are you going to give me a little something first?”

Lara froze as their eyes met, and he smiled at her.

“Take your shoes off.”

She paused for a moment before kicking off her Converse sneakers, not bothering to unlace them.

“Take your shirt off.” He said.

Lara slipped her top over her head and dropped it on the floor. She watched as his eyes travelled from her face, down to her white cotton bra.

“You can take the jeans off too.” He added as an afterthought.

“Ben-“

“Take your jeans off.” He repeated evenly. She sighed softly before unzipping her jeans and bending over to pull them off. The cold air prickled her skin, as she stood before him in her underwear. His hot stare seared her skin as he watched her approvingly, his eyes raking over her body. She felt her gaze wander to the cocaine on the table, and she could feel the urge build up within her. It had been a few days since she had sampled any… and the cravings had tortured her all week. She recalled the joint she had seen earlier, and how Harry had turned it down on her behalf. She didn’t think it would have done a thing for her anyway… not that Harry had any idea…

“Come here.” Ben said and she jumped slightly at his voice. She slowly made her way toward him aware of the shift of energy in the room, and it all seemed to weigh in favour of Ben who motioned for her to kneel before him. He leant back on the couch with a contented sigh, his mouth curled up in a half smile.

Notes

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Any thoughts? Surely *someone* is reading! :)

(the read count skyrockets each time but hardly nobody comments...thank you to the people who do by the way (!) and sorry if I keep annoying everyone about this but I'm just curious)