Seconds and hours
Maybe we had to take some time

Lara cleared the table of coffee cups and made her way to the kitchen balancing the tray on one hand. She had ten minutes to go in her shift and she was more than ready to go home.

She was back working at the same café she had met Ben all that time ago. It was by a stroke of luck that she had dropped by to say hello to her old co-workers, when they revealed that they needed a part timer, and she had quickly grabbed the opportunity.

A source of income was imperative, especially when she insisted on paying Ben rent even though he assured her it wasn’t needed. Not paying rent gave him even more control over her, and she knew very well that the balance of control already weighed heavily in his favour.

The only downside to the job was its close proximity to Modest Management. Thankfully her café was not only around the corner, but there were at least two other cafes near the offices where she knew the employees got their daily caffeine hit.

Today the café was filled with music and the constant buzz of customers. Lara had her back to everyone as she stacked the cups and saucers on the counter. She happened to glance up at the mirrored wall in front of her and felt her throat grow dry and her stomach tie up in knots when she spotted him walk in.

Harry.

The name flashed in her brain and the saucers fell with a clatter on the counter as she leant on the counter for support.

He was with a girl, and for a moment Lara was distracted. The girl was a petite blonde with a purple streak running through her hair, and for some reason looked incredibly familiar. Lara studied her for a few more moments, but could not quite place her. Her attention soon shifted from the girl to Harry. Gone was his trademark bandana and in its place was a black hat. He was laughing, and the girl soon joined in, as they waited in the queue to order.

“Lara, before you go can you grab more straws from the back!” James called out and she froze when she saw the smile disappear from Harry’s face when their eyes finally met in the mirror.

She half turned to face him to see the surprised expression on his face give way to a more serious look as they stood there looking at each other.

“Lara!” Her manager yelled, snapping them out of their moment. Harry leaned in to listen to something the blonde was saying, and Lara quickly took the opportunity to escape into the kitchen. She stood there for several moments, unable to move, her breath quickening and her mind a jumble of thoughts.

It wasn’t long before she peeked through the door to see if he was still there. She quickly glanced around the room and saw the blonde ordering a coffee at the register. Harry was nowhere in sight. As a precaution she waited another ten minutes before hanging up her apron and grabbing her handbag from her locker.

“See you tomorrow James.” She said.

“Sure thing.” He smiled as he busied himself at the cash register.

Once outside Lara began to walk toward the bus stop up the road.

From the corner of her eye she noticed a vehicle next to her and it wasn’t long before she realised it was trailing her. She looked over to see a familiar black Range Rover. The window wound down and her heart stopped when she saw Harry peer out.

“Hey Lara.” He said, as if it was the most natural thing in the world and they hadn’t seen each other in almost a year. She swallowed nervously, completely at a loss for words.

“Why don’t you get in? I’ll give you a ride home.” He spoke up again, and she was relieved to see that he was alone.

“No, that’s okay. I’m taking the bus.” She found herself saying. Lara faced forward and began to walk again. She half expected him to drive on, but he was still driving at a snail’s pace.

“Come on, just get in.” She heard him call again. Lara shook her head with a little less certainty, but made no move toward the car. She snuck a look to see him trying to focus on the road in front of him whilst at the same time turning his head to look at her.

“Lara, just get into the fucking car.” He said but his voice was playful, and a quick glance at him saw a small smile playing on his lips. The smile disappeared when a car behind him beeped.

“Lara.” He pleaded with his eyes, and she sighed as she opened the door and sat in the passenger seat. The car was warm, and she could hear the low tone of the radio as he apologetically waved at the car behind him before speeding off. They sat in awkward silence as he drove along, and she focused on looking out the window. The car suddenly stopped at the side of the road, and she turned to him.

“Why did you stop?” She asked somewhat nervously.

“I don’t know where you live, do I?” He said with a smile, causing Lara to lower her eyes and remain silent.

“And anyway…” Harry continued. “I just wanted to talk.”

“About what?” She mumbled not looking at him and she heard him sigh.

“Are you going to make this harder than it already is?” He retorted.

“Okay okay… it’s just you’re making me nervous.” And she looked over to see his face soften as he tried to suppress a smile.

It was such a bittersweet experience for her to see him again, that she didn’t know what to think let alone say. He didn’t know how many nights had she spent lying in bed thinking about what they went through the previous year and what she could have done to change the course of events.

She knew she had done the wrong thing by letting herself get carried away with the idea of being Harry’s girlfriend. But he had played along with it, taking what we could get from her, until she finally confessed her love. And still he had played along, until it became abundantly clear that he didn’t return her sentiment. Looking at him now, she didn’t know whether to hug or hit him.

“How have you been?” He asked

It was almost an unreal feeling seeing him so close, and she fought the urge to touch him just to make sure he was really there.

“I’ve been good.” She said instead.

“You look tired.”

“Yeah?” She gave a small smile. “Been working hard I guess…”

“I know the feeling.” He said.

They smiled at each other briefly before lapsing into another silence.

“So, what happened to New York?” He asked. “I thought that’s where you wanted to go.”

“I still do.” She shrugged, “But I thought it would be smart to finish my course here first before I make the move.”

“Are you enjoying the course?” He asked.

“Yeah, I’m loving it.”

“That’s good… that’s good.” He nodded.

The entire conversation seemed to be all nods, smiles, polite small talk and awkward silences. Another lengthy one followed.

“How about you?” Lara finally spoke up.

“I’m just trying to catch up on sleep.” He said. “We’ve just finished the tour, so I’ve got a bit of time off… “

She noticed the dark bruises beneath his eyes, and how he looked slightly thinner than from she last remembered. She looked up to see him watching her as though he were aware she was checking him out, with a ghost of a smile on his lips.

Those lips.

Lara couldn’t help but let her eyes focus on his mouth. She remembered what it was like to gently nibble on it when they kissed, drawing out his pink bottom lip between her teeth. The feeling of longing tightened in her stomach, where it pooled, making her swallow nervously.
The radio was on low, but not low enough for them not to hear an old One Direction song start to play, and they both cast an amused look at each other. Harry promptly switched it off and turned to look at her with a crooked smile.

“Okay, so are you going to tell me where you live?” He asked as he placed his hands on the steering wheel.

The smile disappeared from Lara’s face.

“Um… yeah.” She started to speak before clearing her throat. “Just turn right at the next set of lights.”

Harry pulled out into the traffic and followed her directions until they reached a block of apartments.

“Do you live here now?” He asked, craning his neck to look outside and then glancing at her.

“I don’t think I can come up.” He said with a cheeky smile.

“I wasn’t going to ask you.” Lara swiftly replied as she reached for her handbag. Her heart melted at the sound of his throaty laugh and he placed his hand on her arm to stop her from leaving the car.

“Seriously… is this the last time I’m going to see you?” He asked.

“Harry, I don’t think we’re meant to see each other.” Lara said tightly. An image of Julian flashed in her mind, and she couldn’t help but feel a surge of hate run through her.

“Why not?” He said flatly.

“Because-“She was about to launch into all the reasons but stopped. “You know why.”

“Is there a law against being friends?” He asked her. She distinctly remembered what his idea of being ‘friends’ was, and an involuntary shiver ran through her body.

“No.” She said in a small voice.

“Then maybe I can text you sometime?”

She nodded back at him and he smiled at her. She stepped out of the car and ducked her head to say goodbye.

“You look different for some reason…” He said gazing directly at her.

“Different?”

He didn’t respond immediately and he was watching her so closely that she self-consciously repeated.

“Different how?”

“I don’t know.” He said slowly, “I’m still trying to figure that out.”

She bid him goodbye and he gave a quick wave before he drove away. Lara stood on the street watching the Range Rover disappear around the corner, wondering if her imagination was playing tricks on her.

Did she really just have a civil conversation with Harry? Did she really just agree to keep in contact with him? Were they going to fall into the same trap as they did last time?

She probably won’t hear from him again, she thought.
Lara took a deep breath before looking around, trying to figure out where she was. Once she had her bearings she slowly began to make her way to the nearest tube station.

X

The music thudded in Lara’s ears as she battled to make her way through the sweaty bodies crowding the dance floor. She looked around for Ben but could not see him anywhere. He had insisted she accompany him and Claire to a nightclub, and she had reluctantly agreed to tag along. She now leaned against the bar and scanned the room again, when she felt someone tap her on the shoulder.

“James!” She cried, surprised to see her manager from work.

“What are you doing here?” He asked looking equally surprised.

“My flatmate and his girlfriend dragged me here.” She said making a face.

“Same. My mates wanted to go out. I just want to go home and sleep.” He said surveying the crowd, “This place is going off though.”

They tried to make conversation, but all they could do was yell over the music.

“Want to go over there?” He loudly said in her ear, pointing toward an area filled with couches. She nodded as he first leant over the bar and ordered a couple of drinks. As they made their way to the couch Lara spotted Claire watching them with interest, with Ben nowhere in sight. They began to chat easily.

She had only known James since she started working at the café months earlier, and she liked him a lot. He looked to be in his early twenties, with soft brown eyes and shoulder length hair and he had always been kind to her.

James was in the middle of a story when she looked over his shoulder to see Ben advance toward them, trailed by Claire.His mouth was set in a straight line and he had a grim look on his face. She felt her heart beat faster as he approached them.

“Lara-“Ben began, before a surprised look came over his face. ”Oh James, it’s you.”

“Hi Ben.” James said. The two recognised each other from the café when Ben often came to pick Lara up after her shift.

“Lara, can I see you for a moment?” He asked. Although he tried to keep his voice casual, the tension was unmistakable. Claire and James glanced at each other awkwardly as Ben and Lara moved to the side.

“What’s going on?” Ben asked tightly.

“I was just talking to James.” Lara said, trying to keep her voice light. She tried not to look in Claire’s direction, although she could only imagine what the older woman was thinking.

“I know you were talking to James.” He said impatiently. “The question is did you invite him here tonight?”

“What?” She said confused.

“Don’t play dumb. I’m asking if you knew he was going to be here.”

“No!” Lara exclaimed. “I just saw him by chance… I didn’t invite him.”

He stared at her for a moment before he visibly relaxed and nodded as though he was satisfied with her words.

“Okay. Good.” He said before returning to Claire.

“Let’s go.” He said.

“It’s only midnight.” Claire protested.

“I said let’s go.” He repeated. “Are you coming Lara?”

All three heads turned to her, waiting for a response.

“Uh yeah… I’m ready to go.”

She bid goodbye to an obviously confused James who could only stare at Ben with an odd expression on his face. The three walked back to the car with Claire protectively clutching Ben’s arm.

“Why do you care about who she talks to?”

Lara was walking well behind them, but she clearly heard Claire’s annoyed voice.

“Because.” Ben said stiffly. “I don’t want to see her get hurt.”

“Yeah right. What’s the real reason?” Claire shot back. They had reached the car and as they scrambled in, Lara heard her phone beep. After she buckled her seatbelt she reached for her phone. She looked puzzled when she saw a one word message light up, accompanied by an unfamiliar number.

Lara?

Harry was the first name that flashed in her head, but she quickly pushed that thought out of her head. It had been more than a week since they had seen each other and she had not heard from him. She quickly tapped out a message back.

Yeah it’s me- who is this?

She cringed at how dumb her message must sound, but didn’t know what else to say without finding out exactly who it was.

“Who’s texting you?” Ben’s tense voice suddenly interrupted her thoughts.

“Um James.” Lara lied. “Just making sure I’m okay.”

She heard Ben sniff in response.

“Why wouldn’t you be okay?” He responded, but Lara was too busy reading the following message.

It’s Harry. What are you up to?

Nothing much? You?

The tone of her text sounded casual but in reality her entire body had gone from hot to cold and back again. She could barely hang onto her phone as she waited for a response.

Harry: Just chilling at home.

Lara: Cool…

The mindless exchange followed as they talked without really saying much. And even though she had placed her phone on silent, it was obvious to everyone in the car that she was preoccupied with something.

Harry: Wanna meet up?

Lara paused for a moment, staring at the message, her heart racing.

“Can you put that fucking phone away?” Ben finally muttered. She quickly pocketed the phone and steadied her breathing as Ben sped home.

Once she was in the safety of her bedroom she turned up the music in her headphones to drown out the sound of Ben and Claire arguing in the living room.

She hated being the source of tension in their relationship, and she hated how Ben sometimes didn’t even try to hide his possessiveness toward her. She needed an escape and Harry was providing her with the perfect excuse. Lara picked up her phone and with trembling fingers responded to his previous message.

Lara: Sure we can meet up.

Notes