Secrets / Black & White / Playing for Keeps

“Harry Styles and his ex-girlfriend Lara Ballantyne were spotted enjoying an intimate lunch, oblivious to the paps that began to circle outside.” Tony read out loud from the newspaper as he and Lara ate breakfast the next day. Lara looked down at the article and silently read a couple more lines.

“We’re just friends.” Harry revealed, in an unusual move for the notoriously tight lipped pop star.

She glanced up to see Tony watching her closely.

“Soooo… is this the new Modest Management plan?” He asked.

“Well… no.” Lara said. “This is more like the new Harry Styles plan.”

“Oh?”

“He wants us to be friends.” Lara said self-consciously shifting in her seat.

“He?”

“I mean we… we want to be friends.”

She saw Tony’s face fall as he silently resumed eating his breakfast.

“I wanted to talk to you about it… but I guess I was scared about how you’d react.” Lara continued. Tony took a deep breath, his face devoid of any emotion.

“It’s okay Lara.” He said in a resigned voice. “It’s just… next time, maybe tell me about it before I read about it in the paper, okay?”

“Deal.” Lara said with a smile that did not meet her eyes. She had not mentioned her meeting with Harry nor with Julian to Tony and now the guilt was starting to catch up with her.

“I wanted to talk to you about something.” Tony said turning the page of the newspaper. Lara watched as the photo of Harry staring up at her from the page disappeared. “In a couple of weeks I’ll be going on a trip. I usually visit my parents this time of the year and they’ve been dying to see Jake for ages so I’ll be taking him with me.”

“Cool.” Lara said not knowing what else to say. A small part of her waited for him to extend the invitation to her, but he gulped down his coffee instead. She quietly picked at her food, considering the prospect of being alone for five days. In the past it would have been enough to fill her with dread. Now she seemed strangely okay with it, although it did hurt that he did not even think to invite her. They were living together and she imagined that meeting his parents would be the next step in cementing their relationship.

“Honey, I thought about asking you to come with me.” Tony suddenly spoke up as though he had read her thoughts. “But it’s just my parents… they’re so conservative. They’re still getting over the fact that Susan and I are no longer together. I don’t know how they’d react if I turned up on their doorstep with you and Jake.”

“I understand.” Lara said in a hollow voice. She knew their relationship had been kept under wraps for various reasons but it was beginning to remind her too much of what she had been through with Harry. Not being able to enjoy a public relationship with someone fed on her insecurities. She had always felt she was not good enough to date Harry Styles and now here she was again, experiencing a similar feeling now that she was dating a man who had just separated from his wife.

“Please don’t take it personally.” Tony pleaded. “It has nothing to do with how I feel about you. It’s just things are so complicated… especially with little Jake. I plan on telling my parents about you while I’m there though.”

He placed his hand over hers and squeezed it, giving her a reassuring smile.

“Maybe next time.”

X

By the time Tony’s trip came around a few changes happened. Lara had met up with her ex manager James and had somehow wangled a job back at the cafe. It was a funny feeling, almost as though she had come full circle, but it was imperative to her that she had a secure pay check. The interior decorating jobs had been fun but they were not streaming in as fast as she would have liked.

Life was a little busier, which she secretly enjoyed. In the past she had been quiet at work, but now she began to come out of her shell, enjoying her interaction with her co-workers and customers. A couple of people up the subject of Harry Styles; whilst in the past she would have been highly embarrassed or cagey about revealing details, she now found herself smiling about her friendship. It had been two weeks since she had heard from Harry, but she made no attempt to contact him. But almost as soon as Tony left, she received a phone call.

“Hey.” The sound of Harry’s familiar tone invaded her senses. “What are you up to today?”

“Nothing.” Lara replied, trying not to sound too flustered. She tried to come up with an excuse ahead of time, thinking he was going to ask her out for lunch, but her mind went blank. The only thought that came through was what Tony’s reaction if they were to be spotted in public again.

“I need someone to come with me to yoga.” Harry told her.

The line went silent as Lara fumbled for a reply.

“Are you there?” Harry asked.

“Yes… I’m… I’m just- did you say yoga?”

“Yeah.” Harry said uncomfortably. “Are you laughing at me?”

Lara stifled a laugh at the thought of Harry’s long limbs tangled up in a complicated yoga pose.

“No.” She said with a big smile. It was not often Harry felt uncomfortable in her presence; it had always been the other way around. She was tempted to tease him even more, but instead asked.

“Since when did you do yoga?”

“A while ago in LA… I want to start up again here, but I don’t want to go on my own. I never did in LA…” He trailed off.

She wondered who had been his yoga buddy in LA but his sudden sombre tone warned her not to pry.

“I’ve never tried yoga before.” Lara told him.

“It’s not that hard. Just do whatever you can and sit out the rest. That’s what I do. Anyway, you always were quite flexible."

He suddenly went quiet and she could not help but remember the way he spread her thighs wide to receive him. She blinked to remove the vision from her mind and nervously cleared her throat.

“We’ll sit in the back.” Harry said. “It’s a small group anyway… nobody will even give us a second look.”

“I don’t know.”

“Please.” He pleaded. “It’s only for an hour… and it’s near where you live. It’ll be fun, I promise.”

Lara looked down at the exercise outfit she had thrown on at the last minute and nervously tightened her ponytail as she saw Harry stride toward her.

“Hi.” He said with a broad smile before pulling her in for a close hug. As they walked up the stairs to the yoga studio, Lara realised they were shoulder to shoulder and she found herself awkwardly stumbling on the top step in a bid to move away from him.

Harry was right. It was a small class of six people and he kept his promise by leading her to the back of the room. The young yoga teacher introduced herself as April but seemed to be familiar with Harry as they easily chatted.

By the time the class started Lara was trying hard not to look at Harry and was nervously looking at the large mirror at the front of the room. Every move she would make would be seen by the entire class but she had already thankfully noted that nobody had given Harry a second look since he had arrived. The class was situated in an affluent part of London and if Lara was not mistaken, there was a girl in the front row that looked like an actress she had seen on TV. Nobody seemed to give Harry a second look.

The class started easily enough and Lara found herself relaxing as she listened to the sound of the teacher’s instructions and the soft music that played in the background. Harry proved to be another story and she noticed how the teacher was delighted to help him. She hovered around him and helped him into position numerous times, her hands pressing down on his back. Lara stole a glance to see Harry gazing back at her with raised eyebrows as April ran her hand over his back in a bid to straighten it into the correct pose. Lara could not help but giggle at his surprised expression before settling into the pose herself.

As the class progressed, she forgot Harry was beside her as her body stretched and settled into several poses that alternately hurt and relaxed her. She had just arched her back into the cat’s pose when she opened her eyes and looked into the mirror, only to see Harry watching her intently. He gave a small smile, as though he were impressed by how naturally she was taking to the exercises and she looked away. But time and time again, their eyes would meet in the mirror.

His long hair was in his face as he struggled to balance with his arm straight in the air, his shirt hanging open to expose his stomach. Those were the tattoos she had painstakingly kissed once upon a time and Lara could only take a deep breath as she tried to clear her mind of past memories.

They emerged from the yoga studio laughing and Harry could not help but look impressed.

“You were so good.” He exclaimed. “You made look like a klutz.”

“Well April didn’t seem to mind.” Lara winked at him. “She was only too happy to make sure you were in the right position.”

“Yeah I noticed that.” Harry replied sheepishly. “She was a bit hands on, huh?”

“Nobody else seemed to need that much help.” Lara added.

“That’s enough out of you.” Harry said, poking her in the ribs. “Instead of teasing, maybe you can show me some moves.”

They had stopped at the end of the street and Lara could not help but notice Harry’s eyes were glued to her body. He ran a hand through his hair as he regarded her earnestly.

“I mean it. You wanna come over?”

“Uh… no, I can’t.”

“Why not? We can hang out for a while… I’ve got nothing on today.”

“I’m working this afternoon.” Lara told him and she saw how he did not hide his surprise or disappointment as he shifted from one foot to the other. “I’ve started working at the café… the same one I used to work at.”

“Wow… that’s great.” Harry said.

“Yeah, it pays the bills I guess.”

“There’s nothing wrong with working there.” He said and she wondered if Tony would feel the same once he found out.

“I know that.” Lara smiled up at him.

“I like seeing you smile.” Harry said.

“Why’s that?”

“I just can’t help thinking about all you’ve gone through ever since you met me.”

“It hasn’t been all bad, you know.” Lara countered.

“No?” Harry asked curiously.

“I never would have met you.”

The words streamed out of her mouth without a second thought, but they were true words and when she looked up to see a big smile on his face, she knew that there was no reason to fight their friendship.

“Well, hang out with me then.” He demanded his green eyes boring into hers.

“I am! I did!” Lara protested. “But I have to go now.”

“I’ll have to figure out more ways to see you then.” He winked, with a hint of a smile.

Notes

Hi guys, apologies for not writing for so long. I literally have not written anything for ages… not sure why. I guess it’s been a combination of being busy with work and writers block.

To add to this, my laptop keyboard broke, so I guess that didn’t help much either.

Hope you enjoy this chapter (it’s not perfect but it will have to do) and I’d love to hear what you think! :)