Secrets / Black & White / Playing for Keeps

“Lara?” Ben’s voice sounded unsure, as though he could not believe it was really her.

“Yeah it’s me.” Lara replied. “Look, I can’t talk for long… I just have a question ask.”

“What is it?” He asked curiously.

“It’s about Julian.” Lara said her eyes trained on the door, expecting Tony’s return at any moment. “Has he mentioned me at all lately?”

“Julian?” Ben chuckled at the odd question.

“Yeah… anything negative? Anything I should know?”

“Meet up with me.” Ben responded swiftly. “Meet up with me and we’ll talk.”

Lara paused. It was the same tactic he had used time and time again; whenever she spoke to him he always tried to wangle a meeting out of it. Just like the old times when he would lure her with the temptation of cocaine. He knew she could never say no. But this was different.

“No Ben… I really can’t.” She said.

“How does lunch sound?” He replied.

“I don’t want to have lunch with you, I-“ The sound of the front door opening, prompted Lara to hang up on Ben midsentence as she watched Tony walk in holding two carry bags of Thai takeaway.

“Sorry I took so long.” He said apologetically, placing the bags on the kitchen counter. “They’re usually so quick, but there was a queue when I got there.”

“It’s okay… I had a shower while I waited.” Lara replied with a smile. She helped out by grabbing a couple of plates while Tony brought the food over to the coffee table. He briefly kissed her on the lips as they sat together on the couch and began to serve themselves. Lara piled her plate with noodles only to look up to see Tony watching her.

“Sorry about what happened before.” He said somewhat sadly.

“It’s fine.” Lara said, but he shook his head.

“No it wasn’t fine. I totally forgot that Susan still has a key to the place, so I never expected her to barge in the way she did.” Tony said. “You shouldn’t have left… she had no right to do what she did.”

“It’s really okay.” Lara said. “You don’t have to apologise.”

“You didn’t hang around long enough to see me take her key back.” Tony said.

No, I hung around to hear her saying some pretty hurtful things instead, Lara thought to herself. She did not have the desire to bring it up with Tony though, it was best to keep it to herself.

“She knows about us… but she didn’t know you had moved in with me. I guess that’s why she was caught off guard when she found you here alone.” Tony said.

“You don’t have to explain.” Lara said not meeting his eyes, only for Tony to place his hand on her arm.

“Yes I do.” He insisted. “Why are you being like this? We can’t just ignore what happened. I know it’s my fault… I should have told her you had moved in. I can’t keep stuff like that from her… it’s not fair to her and it’s not fair to us.”

Lara listened quietly and gave him a reassuring smile, only for Tony to regard her strangely.

“Are you okay?” He asked with an unsure smile.

“Yes, now can we just eat?” Lara said lightly. Tony shrugged his shoulders and they both resumed eating in silence. It was not until she was ready to go to bed that she noticed the message on her phone from an unidentified number.

Look you called for a reason. If you want to talk, then let’s do it in person. Meet me at the Lime Café tomorrow at 1pm. B

X

It had been a long time since she had returned to this café, which she knew was Ben’s favourite, and it did not take her long to spot him seated at a table in the corner. His eyes lit up when he saw her and he put away his phone as she made her way toward him.

“Lara.” He beamed. “I’m so glad you came.”

She sat down opposite him and a waitress appeared immediately to take their drink order.
“A lemonade please.” Lara said without looking at the menu.

“I’ll have the same.” Ben said shooting Lara a meaningful look as the waitress walked away as if to say, “See? I have changed.” only for Lara to merely gaze back at him.

“What?” Ben said. “You’re not even going to look a little surprised by the fact that I’m not already halfway through a bottle of red?”

Lara half shrugged in response, causing him to shake his head.

“We’re in the same boat, remember? I’ve given up a lot this past year too.”

“Everything?” Lara asked.

“Yep… no booze, no coke… no nothing. I just gave it all up.” Ben said. “Cut me some flack. If you don’t understand how hard it’s been, then nobody will.”

The atmosphere softened as they sipped on their lemonades and tried not to laugh at each other.

“So what are you so worried about?” Ben asked.

“I don’t know.” Lara said hesitantly. “I just feel like… like this whole Harry thing is not working out…”

Ben pulled a face at Lara’s words as though he agreed with her take on the situation.

“I would have to agree…” He said. “I’ve been telling Julian that from the beginning.”

“You have?”

“You might find it hard to believe, but I didn’t want to bring you back into Harry’s life.”

It was Lara’s turn to pull a face at Ben, unsure whether to believe him or not.

“It’s true. You’re doing well for yourself… why bring you back onto a sinking ship?” Ben added.

“Don’t talk about Harry like that.” Lara said without thinking. She had not intended on defending Harry, but the response had just come naturally.

“The sinking ship is not only Harry… it’s One Direction. Zayn looks like he doesn’t want to be there, Liam disappears with his girlfriend every chance he gets, Niall’s too busy hanging out with his new mates and all Louis does is fuck around. And yes… I mean that literally.” Ben studied Lara’s reaction before adding. “And we all know Harry’s just lost the plot.”

“Do you think they’re going to break the band up?” Lara asked.

“Oh no that’s the last thing Julian wants… he wants at least one more album and tour out of them. I think it’s time for them to take a break personally.”

“So Julian’s not happy?”

“Nope. He’s trying everything he can to keep this all going… I mean, he even brought you in. And we all know how that worked out the last time.” Ben smirked.

“Has he been doing stuff behind my back?” Lara asked suddenly.

Lara briefly explained how her work had suddenly dried up and how Julian had always hinted he could easily sabotage her business if he really wanted to.

“He hasn’t said anything to me.” Ben said after a thoughtful pause. “I think he’s got bigger fish to fry at the moment…”

Lara picked at her salad once it arrived unable to hide the worry on her face.

“You got a lot of work because of your connection to Harry.” Ben’s voice broke into her thoughts. “Maybe you need to be seen with Harry more… you know… to boost your profile.”
“But that would be using him.” Lara said.

“That’s the way business works.” Ben shrugged. He kept his voice light and casual but Lara could see he was watching her closely.

“I don’t want to use him.” Lara said firmly. She had never looked at Harry as a meal ticket in the past. When she had been hired to be his girlfriend, she had done it for the money, but it had not taken her long to fall in love with him. After their break up she had numbed herself with drugs and alcohol and when they had hooked up again, she had kept their relationship secret. She had never wanted to take advantage of what she had with Harry and she was not about to start now.

But Ben’s words lingered in her mind as they finished up lunch and Ben tried to convince her to let him drive her home.

“It’s okay… I’ll make my own way home.” Lara said.

“Don’t look now.” Ben said quietly. “But Jade is over there. Harry’s little fuck buddy.”

Lara scanned the room, only to spot Harry’s girlfriend having lunch with a man she did not recognise.

“You mean Harry’s girlfriend…” Lara said quickening her pace.

“No I mean, Harry’s fuck buddy.” Ben said.

They exited the restaurant and had rounded the corner, satisfied that they had not been seen.

“Harry said she was his girlfriend.” Lara insisted.

“Harry wants Julian to think she’s his girlfriend because it pisses Julian off. He hates her. But Harry isn’t serious about her… he hasn’t been serious about anyone since… well since you.”

Lara frowned trying to process the information she had just been given. She remembered how she had caught Harry and Jade in bed together and how Jade had not seemed fazed in the slightest. She knew Harry liked to annoy Julian and she found that she did not have much trouble believing that Harry would let Julian believe he was dating an older woman. She knew it would drive Julian crazy, not having control over the situation, and Lara could not help but smile at the thought.

“What’s so funny?” Ben asked only for Lara to look up and shake her head.

“Nothing… it’s nothing. Well thanks for the lunch…” She glanced up and down the busy street for a taxi.

“I should be thanking you for coming.” Ben said. “Listen, let me drive you home-“

Ben was cut off by Lara signalling a taxi which had miraculously appeared. Before he could say another word she had quickly opened the car door and was about to sit down when Ben called out.

“Lara?”

She looked up just as she sat in the backseat.

“It’s Skye you should watch out for.” He said flatly.

Lara did not have a chance to answer as the taxi pulled into the traffic.

X

Lara could not stop thinking about Harry the entire drive home. Even when she got a text from Tony saying he would be home late, she merely read it and then went back to thinking about Harry. There was no order to them, just a jumble of thoughts in her mind, to the way her heart beat faster as he bridged the gap between them as they sat in the car to the way he looked at her as he did.

She took a deep breath as she tried to focus on the passing scenery outside her window until she reached home. After slipping out of her heels, she flopped on the couch in front of the television.

The beep of her phone jolted her and she glanced at the time to realise she had fallen asleep. Lara fumbled for her phone.

I’m sorry

Harry. Lara rubbed her bleary eyes as another message came through.

I’m sorry for what I said to you.

Before Lara could even respond the phone began to ring.

“Hello… Harry?” She said still feeling disoriented.

“Hi.” His voice was hesitant but she waited for him to continue. “You didn’t answer my text.”

“Answer your text? Harry I just got it. I didn’t have a chance.”

He laughed softly in her ear and then fell silent.

“I’m sorry about yesterday.” He finally said. “I was upset… and the truth was… it had been eating me up inside.”

“It’s okay.” Lara replied. “I did a lot of stupid things back then.”

Flash forward to her having lunch with Ben today and she wondered if she was still doing stupid things.

“I always wanted to know what happened between you and Ben… and I never asked. I was stupid not to ask… but I guess at the same time, I didn’t want to know.” Harry said.

Another long pause and then she heard his voice in her ear again, soft and low.

“Come over.”

“Harry-“

“Please.” He said.

“Harry, you have a girlfriend, remember? Why don’t you call her?” Lara asked and waited curiously for his response. He did not speak for a few moments and she waited for him to confirm what Ben had told her.

“Who cares?” He said lightly.

“Harry I have a boyfriend…”

Again the soft laugh sounded in her ear.

“I’m not going to try anything.” He said. “I just want to talk.”

She recalled their moment in the car when he had tried something and the time before when she had been at his house and he had backed her against the door. But she refrained from pointing that out, instead choosing to be silent.

“Are you there?” His voice was now slightly teasing. “What are you thinking?”

“Nothing.”

“Then come on over…”

“Harry we can’t keep doing this-“

“Doing what?” He said. “Don’t you just want to be friends?”

“Yeah.” She said uncertainly. She thought of Tony and what he would think. But the temptation to see Harry was high. The alternative was another night at home alone.

“Okay… I’ll come.”

“Good.” Harry said triumphantly. “I’ll see you soon then, yeah?”

“Yeah…” She trailed off.

“Lara?”

“Yes?”

“I’m glad we can be friends.” He said. “That means a lot.”

Notes

Sorry it's taken me so long to update!