Melody's POV

Katrina stared at the boys in shock, not moving, not saying anything. Then she turned to look at me, grabbed my arm and pulled me back upstairs. I shot an apologetic glance at the boys before they disappeared from sight.
"What the fuck, Mel?!" she whisper-shouted at me.
"What did I do now?" I whisper-shouted back.
"You couldn't have at least given me a heads-up that I should at least brush my hair?!"
"No. That would've ruined the surprise! Then you would've know that someone was here!" I whispered, exasperated. "Just treat them like normal people. They're swarmed by fans and paparrazzi all the time so don't ask for autographs or pictures at all. Just ask a random question or something and see where that leads to. Now let's go before I turn 40."
I pushed her toward the stairs.
"No, wait! I'm going to call Katrina!" she said, running toward my room. "Is it okay if she comes?"
"Hell yes!" I shouted, then slapped my hand over my mouth audibly. It echoed down the stairway and I started laughing uncontrollably. At one point, I was laughing so hard no sound was coming out.
And, of course, that had to be the time that the boys came running up the stairs to see if there was something wrong.
And I was rolling around on the floor, laughing silently and clapping.
I probably looked like a retarded seal.
"Is something wrong with her?" Niall asked, pointing at me.
"Yes. Something is very wrong with her," Katrina answered with a straight face. "Sad thing is, we don't know what."
"You kind of look like a retarded seal, Mel," Louis said, somehow managing to keep a straight face.
Of course, this just made me laugh harder, and I started making really weird noises when I inhaled. I eventually snorted, which made me laugh even harder still (which never seemed more impossible than at that moment).
"Why... can't... I... stop... laughing!!!" I shouted between fits of laughter.
"Because nobody slapped you yet," Zayn said from next to my head.
I turned dead serious and wiped the smile off my face, along with all traces of laughing noises. "I swear to God, Zayn, if you slap me, I will kill you. Legit kill you."
"It worked!" Harry shouted.
"What?" I asked, confused.
"Reverse psychology," he answered with a smug smile.
I didn't get it at first, but then I realized that he quoted what I said an hour earlier.
"Well... I'm going to go call Katrina now, so.... yeah," Katrina said, dashing into my bedroom and closing the door behind her.
"Isn't that Katrina?" a rather confused Liam asked.
"Yes," I answered. "But there's another one."
I got up and walked down the stairs, leaving them confused.
"LIIIAAMMM!!!!!!!!" I screamed from the kitchen.
He came running into the kitchen at full speed and nearly crashed into me, but I ducked and crawled out of the way, nearly eating dirt from on the floor. Yuk.
"What?" he asked.
"The pancakes burned."
"WHAT?!" Niall screamed as he heard this apocalyptic news. "No pancakes?!"
"Because you ATE them all, numbnut," I said. "You guys are lucky to have me around. I'll be back in a second."
I ran up the stairs and into my room, frantically searching for my phone.
"Whatchya lookin' for?" Katrina asked as I threw the blankets off my bed.
"My phone."
"I haven't seen it," she said, then started talking to Katrina again.
"Oh! Waiiiittt!!!" I shouted. "I know where it is!!!"
I ran back downstairs and found my phone on the island, then it was gone. Now Louis had it, and he obviously hadn't realized I was there. He tapped the screen a few times, then held the phone up to his ear.
Oh, shit. I thought.
"Hello? Yes? Jackson?" he said into the phone. "Is this Jackson? No, no. This is Aslan of Narnia. Who is Melody? Who is this Melody you speak of. ROAR!"
"LOUIS!" I shouted, laughing. "Give me my phone and leave poor Jack alone!"
"NO! LOUIS IS NO MORE! ASLAN HAS TAKEN OVER! LEAVE OR BE BANISHED BY THE WHITE WITCH!" Louis shouted, covering the mouthpiece of my phone with his hand.
"NO! YOU WILL BE BANISHED THE WHITE WITCH!" I challenged in a loud, raspy voice.
"She has it! She figured it out!" he shouted. "The young Melody has learned my language!"
"Phone. Now," I said in my normal voice, holding out my hand. Louis high-fived it and ran away with my phone. I ran after him, trying to get close enough to tackle him without hurting myself too much.
"NEVER!" he shouted over his shoulder. "Oooh! Mickey Mouse!"
He threw my phone over his shoulder and I dove to catch it, crashing into Harry, who finally decided to come down the stairs at that moment. He fell backward and I, being me, twisted in midair onto my side so the rest of me wouldn't get hurt as much from hitting the floor, but me, still being me, landed on top of Harry.
"Hello, fancy meeting this way again," he said, grinning.
I just shrugged and jumped up. "MWAHAHA! I HAVE IT NOW!" I shouted at Louis, waving my phone in the air. "AND I know your weakness!"
"Mickey Mouse? Good," Liam said, sitting on the couch next to Louis, which made Ella even more nervous than when Harry sat next to her, so she scooted down to the far end of the couch without taking her eyes off the screen.
"Me thinks you're done with the TV, Ella," I said, picking her up and walking upstairs. I put her down in the bathroom. "Shower. Now. We're going to go out to eat breakfast."
"Where?" she asked, turning on the shower.
"You'll just have to wait and see," I said, turning around and walking out, shutting the door behind me.
"Umm... hello?" said my phone.
"What...? Oh! Hi, Jack," I said, holding my phone up to my ear. "Sorry about that. I have some... um, people staying at my house. Rather important people, actually." I walked downstairs. "Rather immature people is more like it."
"People? That's plural. How many of them are there?" Jack asked.
"Um, the important people or people who don't live in my house on a daily basis people?"
"Whichever."
"Um, six. For the people who don't live in my house on a daily basis. Five for the important people," I answered nervously.
"Who was I on the phone with?" he asked.
"Um, Aslan, didn't you hear?" I said, trying to keep him off the subject.
"His real name, Mel."
"Louis..." I said. Please don't ask for his last name...
"What's his last name?" he asked.
Goddamnit. "You can't tell anybody, got it?" I said, my voice turning harsh.
"Jeez, okay, okay. I won't. What's his last name?"
"Tomlinson. Louis Tomlinson," I said, hoping he wouldn't Google Louis or something.
"If he's really important he'd be on Google, right?"
I hit my head against the wall several times before answering. "Yes."
"I got it! Louis Tomlinson. One Direction? Mel, who else is there?" Jack asked.
"Read off the names, numbnut," I said, annoyed.
"Niall Horan, Zayn Malik, Liam Payne, Harry Styles, and Louis Tomlinson."
"Yes," I answered.
"What is One Direction doing at your house?! They're the biggest boyband in the world, Mel! They would never be in Far- wait. What's this?" he got silent as he read something online. "Umm, Mel? You should Google 'One Direction-Fargo, North Dakota'. You're going to want to see this."
"Why?" I asked, walking to the kitchen and grabbing my MacBook.
"Just do it. Trust me."

Notes

TEEHEEHEE I AM THE MASTER OF... UM... STUFF! I HAVE "KATRINA" HERE WITH ME! SHE'S SPENDING THE NIGHT TONIGHT AND I'M SO FREAKISHLY EXCITED BECAUSE I'M HOPING TO POST LIKE TWO OR THREE CHAPTERS TONIGHT DID I MENTION THAT I LUUUUURRRRVVVEEEE MAH COFFEE?! I LOOOOOOVVVVVEEEEE SLUTTY HOT CHOCOLATES!!!!!! IMMA MAKE TWO OF EM 2NITE!
hot chocolate's gettin' it on TONIGHT!
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

I'mma dinosaur.... RAOWR!
So get this.... I'm kinda sorta like Harry Styles. Yeah. I have an extra nipple. So does "Katrina". Who is sitting to my immediate right at the moment. Checking her email. Damn her. I invited her over for a reason. And she's checking her email. And she's chatting with "Jamison". Yeah. They're real people. Just with different names.