Its my last week here in NYC. I would have had more fun if I wasn't moping around. I didn't really mean what I said about breaking up but I didn't get how he could just flip back to his old suspicious ways. I thought he trusted me…but turns out I was wrong. Mickey said that he went over to see if Mickey knew where I was so he could come over and see me but Mickey didn't tell him. There would be times when I would feel a lot better but then there were days were I didn't even want to move I felt so heartbroken. I felt lost without him…I missed him like crazy. Maybe when I got back I could go and beg for him to take me back. Because I really hated these past like 3 months. Hated them. I liked work it helped my take my mind off of the huge fuck up I did. But it was always in the back of my mind. Whenever something exciting happened I always found myself itching to text him. Or when I was bored I would find myself wanting to call him. But I knew that I couldn't. I still have the voicemail he left. He was crying and apologizing I don't know why I kept it because every time I listened to it I broke down. I just wanted to hear his voice. His sweet accent. I would kill to hear that obnoxiously cute laugh of his. Or to see his smile light up his whole face causing crinkles by his eyes. God his eyes. I would do anything to see them in person and not on the pictures I have of us on my phone. Basically I missed every damn thing about that boy. Lola has tried to cheer me up but nothing has worked. I am going in to work today for the last photoshoot. I walk in and sit down. I toy with texting Niall saying I will be back and that we should meet up to talk. But I don't. The make up lady comes over and does my makeup. Then I go and take pictures. Which takes so freaking long. I get out at like 10pm. I'm hungry and so I go on the search for food. I'm walking the streets for food when my phone buzzes. I look and notice that it's Niall. What the hell is he doing up? Could he not sleep either? I sigh but answer. "Hey…"
"Cleo…you…I miss you…OW! Harry stop it! I'm taaaaalking tooooo Cleo!" Then I realized he's drunk. He wouldn't have called me if he wasn't drunk. I felt my already broken heart shatter some more. I stop walking and sit down on a bench. "Niall…I can't…you shouldn’t…" I just start crying because well I can't hold it in. Hearing his voice sent a flood of happy memories through my mind. Old and new. His voice filled my ears again. "No! Cleo don't cry!! And don't saayy that. I should have done this a long time ago!!! I miss you sooo much. I think that we--" Then someone grabbed the phone. I hear Harry's voice. "Sorry Cleo…he usually doesn't get this bad when we go out to clubs. I'm sorry." Then the line went dead. I was still crying. I got up and went to some restaurant and got some take out. Which was just a salad and some bread. Yep I know I really know how to live it up. I get back and go straight to my room ignoring Lola. I eat by food then change into Niall's blue shirt and a pair of shorts. I go and throw out my trash. Lola stops me. "Cleo…you've been crying again! Come on cheer up. We will be back home in a week. Then you will see Mickey. Rachel said you get like a month off after this." I just nod at her while wiping the last tears away.
"I know Lo…its just…I miss him. I don't know what to do…"
"When we get back take a few days to unwind then meet up with him. Okay? I have never seen you like this." I just weakly smile at her while she engulfs me in a hug. I should probably start to pack up my things. Lola lets me go and I head to my room. I start to throw some clothes into my suitcase. Only a couple more days then I am back in the UK. Back to London. Maybe I'll go to the orphanage when I get back.

---

A Few Days Later…
Lola and I were sitting outside the airport waiting for Mickey to come. He was already 10 minutes late. I was getting antsy. "Calm down Cleo, he will be here."
"Yea I know but what if something happened or--"
"Nothing happened he's just running late." I smile and nod. I wish I could be so worry-free like Lola. But I just can't I always have to worry or freak out over something. Then I see his car pull in. Thank god. He pulls up and runs out of the car. "MY GIRLS ARE BACK!" Lola and I laugh and we all hug. He helps us lug our suitcases into the car. It was a somewhat long drive to our place. But when I got there I couldn't be more relieved. I missed being here. I have been gone for almost a whole year. It was almost March. I jump out and grab my suitcases while Mickey holds doors open for us. I get inside the apartment and go to my room and just collapse on my bed. Mickey comes and jumps on next to me. "How was NYC?"
"Amazing but I like London better." We were both on our backs looking up.
"Yea I hear its noisy. And it sucks when you don't have your best friend there. But those are just rumors." I can't help but laugh at him. He really knows how to cheer me up.
"It was so noisy! And Lola was fun but I wish you were there Mickey."
"Yea me too. Niall stopped by…like 15 times before I told him to just give it a rest…you would talk to him when you got back. Cleo you got that boy good." He stopped by? Why? He must've tried to get Mickey to tell him where I was but Mickey knew that I didn't want to talk to him yet. I got him good? What does that even mean?! I just sigh and continue to stare at the ceiling. Mickey poked me so I looked at him. "What?"
"I can see he really loves you. You know he cried the last time he was here? You should really think about talking to him."
"What happened to hating him? Now you want me to get him back?"
"I never said get him back. And Cleo he worries about you more than I do…I just think you should talk to him." Then he got up and left me to sleep. I was more than exhausted but I couldn't sleep really. Like usual. I would just toss and turn about in my bed. Until eventually I just gave up trying to sleep. I went out the living room and turned on the TV. I have no idea what time it is so I keep it down on low volume so I don't wake up Mickey. This whole I can't sleep because of Niall this is getting old. But I just can't seem to sleep. I watch some Scooby-Doo reruns. The classic version, I find myself getting sleepy so I lay down on the couch.

"You stupid piece of shit!" I see my Dad coming towards me. I quickly back up and hit the wall. No place to run…I'm cornered like usual. I know now that I can't rely on my mom to save me since I haven't seen her in days. My dad is holding a belt. I know what is going to happen. He lashes out at me and I feel the familiar sting of the belt buckle on my skin. All I can do is whimper. I know that if I cry he will just do worse things to me. There was a knock on the door. Thank you. "Don't you dare fucking move." Then he went to answer it. I see Niall's brown hair and his voice asking if I could go over and play. My dad said no and slammed the door. "You have friends? Who would like something so awful? For that little disturbance…you're going to pay." I see him drop the belt but he grabs my hair and slams my head into the wall. I slump to the ground trying to stay conscious. I know it is pointless to try to reason with him. After about 8 years I learned. He kicks me in the stomach. I cough up some blood. I am only ten…I've been beaten as long as I can remember…

"Cleo wake up!" I jump up and see Mickey looking at me with worry. I was sweating and clinging to the couch. The TV was still on so Mickey quickly turned it off. "Cleo, I thought you said the nightmares were getting better!" I thought they were. But I stand corrected. I barely got them when I was with…Niall. Maybe Mickey was right I needed to talk to him. I just needed to see him at least. I get up and go to my room. I shower and sit down on my bed looking at my phone. Do I want him that badly though? Maybe I'll wait another week. That way I will settled back in. I'll wait. Besides I highly doubt he misses me that much. He somehow found a way to move past me back then…maybe he could do it now. Did I want him to? Honestly I didn't. I wanted him so badly and just the thought of him not being mine killed me. I am fucking screwed because what if when I meet up with him he has moved on…its been like 3 months. Plenty of girls want him. I think I would die right then and there if he didn't want me back. One week then I will call. Right now I have to go see Rachel…she wants to make sure I'm okay with not working for like a month which I totally am. Gives me time to relax…and maybe talk to Niall. I'm still not sure yet.

Notes

So I finished with this story!!! WOOHOO! Only two more chapters left! :'(

I hope you guys liked it and you all should seriously consider reading my other stories!

Love you guyss!
~A xxx