I wake up and its about 5am. I knew that Cleo's plane still hasn't taken off because really early for her is like 8am. So I quickly get dressed and head over to her place. I hop out and head on up. I was really dreaded saying goodbye so quickly. I had the whole day planned. A picnic in my living room with candles and stuff. Then maybe some scary movies since we both enjoy those. Hell maybe we would go back to Mullingar to visit my parents. Because well I gave up on trying to tell her to forgive Lina. Cleo just didn't see her as her mom and honestly I don't really either anymore. I get out of the elevator and head to her door. I knock and no one answers. So I knock again. This time I hear someone swear. Then the door flies open and there stands Mickey. "Ugh what the hell do you want?!"
"I'm here to see Cleo…is she still sleeping or something?" A smile appeared on his lips. I don't like him at all. Where the fuck is Cleo?
"You are about 3 hours late. Her plane probably just took off. Since her flight was at 5am." What?! I don't believe this! She…I never asked for the time. She left without saying goodbye! I let her just walk right on out. I think Mickey noticed and he just made it worse. "She must not like you as much as you think if she didn't tell you the right time and left without saying goodbye to you. Have a nice life." Then he slammed the door. I can't believe this. She left without saying one word. I find myself thinking what if Mickey is right. What if she really was just faking this whole thing. I didn't think she was but now…I feel like I might puke. I get back to my flat and lay down on my bed. I grab my phone and see a message from Cleo. I read it but I find myself not believing a word she says now. I don't know why but I'm back to second guessing everything she does. I don't respond and just go back to bed. But I couldn't really sleep. I just tossed and turned. Maybe I should just call her. I grab my phone and see that its only 8am. So she still is on the plane. Which means I would just be leaving a message on her phone. I put my phone down and stare at the ceiling. What will I do for another 3 hours? I was pretty tired so I tried to get comfortable. I just closed my eyes hoping that I will fall asleep.

"Niall…what are doing over here?" I look behind Lina trying to see if Cleo was inside. "Where's Cleo?"
"She went to live with relatives in Dublin and won't be back. You should go home Niall." Then she slammed to door on me. I walk back over to my house. Relatives? Cleo never mentioned them…then again Cleo never really talked about her family much. I wonder why she didn't say goodbye to me. Suddenly I am looking over at her house as her mom comes out and heads over to her car and leaves. I am about 15 now. I go back to my football training. Where is Cleo? And why hasn't she been back for like 3 years?

I wake up suddenly. I can't shake that feeling like she isn't going to come back. And that bothers me. I look to see that it is almost 11. I get up and shower then go make some food. Still toying with calling her or not. I'll wait until I know for sure she has her phone on and she's not busy. So I turn on the TV and watch some shows until like 2pm. Then I dial her number.
"Niall! I was hoping you would call!" Yea I'm sure she was…
"Yea so you left way earlier than I thought. Why didn't you tell me that?"
"You never let me! You hung up remem--"
"I think you just didn't want to tell me. So you could just leave like I meant nothing to you again. You said you would never do that again. But look at what you did."
"Niall! I had to this is my job! I can't believe you right now! If you think that I don't care then maybe you don't even know me."
"I guess I don't because what girlfriend just leaves and doesn't tell their boyfriend when until the last minute so he can't ever come over to say goodbye!" Then the line went dead. She hung up on me! I dialed her number again. "Don't call me. I'm done with you. I don't want to be but your being a fucking douche." Then she hung up again. She's done with me? What? No…oh shit I just fucked up big time. I dial her number again but she ignored it. I was freaking out. I would just fly over and get her back but I have no clue where she is in the city or where she will be…holy shit. I just stand up and head to my room. I throw together a suitcase and head out the door. I drive to the ferry and load up my stuff. I was heading home I just needed to clear my head. Of course going back to where I have to most memories with Cleo isn't the best option but wandering aimlessly around NYC isn't an option. I rent a car and just go. I get home and knock on my mom's door. Which flies open. "Niall! Come here! Oh you should have told me you were coming." I just smile and walk in.
"Kind of a last minute thing mom." She looked out the door and back at me.
"Where's Cleo?" Ah that’s the million dollar question.
"I screwed up big time mom. I think we broke up or are on a break I'm not quite sure. All I know is that she won't talk to me."
"Come on tell me everything." I follow her into the living room and just spill everything. How I got pissed and then yelled at her for something that wasn't even her fault. How she got mad and ended things. I felt my heart shatter when I said what she told me. I hear my mom sigh at me. "Niall…oh Niall…just give her some space I'm sure things will work out. If not well she will be back in 3 months…"
"I can't wait that long! I will die!" That just gets me a laugh. So I glare at her.
"You'll survive don't worry. Now go wash up, you can help with dinner." I do what she says but before I get back to the kitchen my phone rings. I quickly pull it out hoping for it to be my girl but its Harry. "Hey."
"Yea hi…where are you?"
"Mullingar…sorry it was kind of a last minute decision…"
"Oh okay that's fine. How'd things go with Cleo? Did you cry?"
"I don't want to talk about it Harry…"
"You so did! That's rich. Ah man. Well I was just making sure you didn't like go with her or something. When will you be back?" That was a good question. I will probably just stay here for a couple of days at most.
"A couple of days maybe…not too long that's for sure."
"Cool. Say hi to your mom for me!" I agree and then the call ends. I get into the kitchen and attempt to help my mom. Which doesn't go well so I end up just watching while staring at my phone praying for Cleo to call saying that we were still together. Then I could apologize for being a colossal asshole.

---

Two weeks later..
Still no call and I have been going out of my fucking mind. Everyday I wake up and know that I am the reason why I won't hear her voice again. God I hate myself. I have barely gone outside…when I do it's just for food then I come back to my room. I feel like I am living one of my nightmares. But this time I can't wake up because I already am. There was no escape. The other day I stumbled across the box she had of pictures. Somehow it must've gotten in my suitcase. So I looked through all the pictures. She added new ones of us from the tour. I ended up crying. And I called her leaving a pathetic voicemail but I didn't care. I just wanted her back no matter what I took. But right now the odds are stacked against me. So I wait for her to come back to London. Which is still like two months away. God it hurt to think that I would have to spend 2 more months waiting. But I could do it…I have to do it otherwise I might lose her for good this time. Which is not something I plan on doing. I just had to let what Mickey said get to my head…if that didn't happen I wouldn't be feeling like my heart has just been ripped out of my chest. Hopefully I can find a way to make these next two months fly by. But right now I am planning on how to beg for forgiveness.

Notes

DON'T HATE ME!!! :( I know...ugh Niall way to go...but what will happen?! Two months is a long time.........

Okay well tonight I get to go see FIREWORKS!! WOOHOO. I ran with my mom yesterday...3 miles and I thought I was going to die. Then I played tennis today with my little brother. I am so sore right now I don't want to do anything. I am thinking about napping though...

Love you guys! Stay lovely!
~A xxx