Transatlanticism

"Broke, I don't know how I feel about you actually leaving..." Hayden and I sat on our couch in the living room after Harry left because he had something to do today. We discussed what he said this morning while we were alone in my room.

"I know, Hay." I sighed, "we practically just moved here, I don't want to leave you on your own so soon." my head fell in my hands, "Plus, we just got back together. What if we have another fight and all hell breaks loose like the last time" I closed my eyes and the silence took over.

Hayden nodded her head and I looked at her. "I know you have a boyfriend now, Hay. And I know you don't need me that much right now, but I don't want to go."

"What are you talking about?" she looked at me as if I was mad, "The fact that you and I both have boyfriends now doesn't change anything about our friendship, Broke. I still want to live with you!"

"I know, I feel the same. Don't get me wrong." I raised my hands and she laughed.

"You know what, just sleep on it. He said he just wanted you to think about it, right?" she smiled warmly and I nodded.

"I guess." I pulled my legs on the couch and we turned on the TV.

"How do you feel now?" she asked me and I turned to look at her, my brows furrowing.

"What do you mean?"

"How do you feel about being with him?" she asked and I pondered on the thought a little bit.

Everything was moving so fast and I assumed Harry and I were taking up where we left off, but where have we actually left off? What happened in the time we weren't together, where did everything even stop with us and does he want the same thing we had or he wants something different. I don't even know. I never thought about it. But I was happy. Just the thought of having him back excited me. And I knew we had issues and he knows it as well. He admitted it last night. But, for now, I didn't want to talk about our problems. I just wanted to spend time with him.

"I'm happy." I answered finally and she laughed.

"Then, so am I."

*********

I got a text from Harry later that day asking me to come to his place. He was quite persistent, telling me it was extremely important for me to come and for us to talk. I have to admit I was a little scared, considering the fact nothing was certain in our relationship and we were still on thin ice.

When I knocked on his door, he opened it within seconds. He was dressed in a black satin button up shirt and black jeans. He probably didn't change after he got home today. His hair was perfectly styled, pushed off his forehead, but a couple of strands jumped out, indicating his previous action of sleeping. I smiled, and he smiled back, and it wasn't until then that I've noticed the exhausted look his face held. He let me in and my smile turned into a worried expression and before I could stop myself, the words escaped my mouth.

"Is everything alright?"

He closed the door and sighed heavily, sitting next to me on the couch.

"It is, what makes you think otherwise?" he took my hand into his and I rested my head against his shoulder. He sighed again, but this time it was a different sigh, one indicating happiness and peacefulness. We stayed like that for a long time until he finally spoke.

"Do you still love me like you did in New York?" he asked, as we separated and I looked at him in confusion.

He was rarely insecure with me, and it was never about our relationship until now. My eyebrows furrowed as my hand touched his cheek. He relaxed with my touch and I brushed his cheek with my thumb while my other hand made contact with his neck, pulling him closer to me, our noses brushing. I never wanted him to be insecure with me, and suddenly it felt as if we reversed roles. I didn't hesitate a moment.

"No." he opened his eyes in shock, touching my hand on his cheek. I smiled and brushed his cheek again.

"I don't love you like I loved you in New York. I'm way past that. I love you on a whole new level. A whole new level of crazy." and with that I kissed his waiting lips like it was the last thing I'll ever do, and he didn't hesitate for a moment to kiss back, his fingers digging into the small of my back. My hands stayed put, as I climbed on his lap.

"I know we've got issues." I whispered against his lips, "But not tonight. Please."

"What do you want, baby doll?" he whispered and I rocked my hips against his.

"I want you to make love to me. Make love to me, baby." it was the first time I've called him anything else than his real name but it felt so right. It didn't feel foreign like I thought it would. He widened his eyes and I kissed his parted lips, then his neck. "Please." I whispered against his neck and he picked me up, carrying me to his bedroom. I nibbled on his neck as he did while he whispered sweet things to me.
He sat on his bed with me on his lap and I started to slowly unbutton his shirt. We kissed as I did so, feeling his muscles flex under my touch. His hand circled my back as I sucked on his neck, soft moans leaving his mouth. I pushed him down on the bed, taking his shirt completely off. He pulled me down with him and flipped us so he was on top. He took my shirt off and kissed every part of my upper body. This felt right, being here with him, doing this with him. I felt loved.
I felt his hands pull on my jeans and I allowed him to take them off, sitting on the bed and tugging on his. Everything about this felt so erotic, the lust and want was present in every breath, every moan escaping our throats as our hands moved across each other's bodies. When his jeans dropped on the floor, I grabbed on his shoulders, pulling him to me.

"Not yet, baby." he groaned and pulled me back down to sit on the edge of his bed as he dropped on his knees and took my panties off.
"What are yo-" I was interrupted by his finger diving into my entrance. My body dropped back to the bed as he kissed my lips once and dropped back on his knees. He guided my hands to his hair as he kissed my inner thighs. I felt his tongue press against my most sensitive nub and soon enough he sucked on it, making me arch my back in pleasure. I moaned, and screamed, and begged for him to go deeper and harder, for him to be closer. I was on the edge when he stopped and moved back up, kissing my lips in the process. I turned us over and straddled his lap. I kissed his neck again, moving down his body, nibbling on his collar bones, making sure to leave a mark.

"Broke." his broken voice echoed around the room, causing me to shiver as I pushed him down on his bed and sat on my knees on the floor, pulling his boxers down. His hand went to my head as if to pull me back and away from him but I pulled myself up and kissed his chest.

"Let me do this, I wanna do it." I kissed his jaw and his lips, and he nodded, closing his eyes. I went back to my spot on the floor and kissed his hipbones, hearing his breathing increase, I slowly took him in my mouth. He fisted the sheets underneath him and his head crashed against the pillow. I sucked on him slowly, noticing he liked it like that, slow and long. The sight above me was almost erotic, his forehead sweating and his eyes closed. His hand went to my hair as he pushed me down on him.

"Please. Oh God, please." he begged and I took him in deeper, increasing the pace a little bit. His chest rose and fell at an unsteady beat, as if he was fighting his pleasure. He was a moaning mess, almost falling apart, and I liked the feeling that I was in control of him, that I was the one who had this power over him. My nails scratched against his stomach.

"Stop, baby. I can- You gotta stop." he moaned and I let him slip out of my mouth. I climbed up again, kissing his lips on my way and he pushed his hand in my hair, the other pulling against my back, leaving a cold trail against the hot skin. "Be on top, baby, and take it slow. Show me you love me, take it slow." he whispered, his voice raspy and strained and I kissed him, positioning myself above him. We both moaned as I slid down. I kissed every part of skin I could before I straightened my back and he grabbed my hips.

We took it slow and we went all night long until I couldn't take anything anymore and he held me against his chest. That was when we both let our tears flow. It was the first time I actually realised, he was mine. Completely and utterly. I got him back.

Notes

Hey, lovely readers! Thanks for all the support.

Lots of Love, H.