Remember When?
Road to Recovery
Niall's POV
Its been exactly three days since Clary finally said that she loved me. Finally, was really all I could think. Over the course of those three days Clary got her stitches removed and a boot to walk in, meaning no more crutches for her. I went to one of her rehab sessions and her motor skills are still intact but she has some memory relapses. Its almost been a month since her accident. Today however is a big day for me at least. Today is the day I finally get to take her back home. To London. We have currently been living in Mullingar. But yesterday that doc said she could go back. And so here I am waiting downstairs for her to finish packing. Her mom and Gracie come over. "Niall you have to make her live with you. I just…I'm nervous about her." I groan because this was the big argument yesterday. Clary refuses to live with me saying she couldn't just ditch Penny.
"She won't listen to me. She says that Penny will be there if she needs help." And just on cue Clary comes hobbling down the stairs. Gracie goes running over. She bends over and plays with her for a bit not paying attention to me or her mom. Then she looks up at me and smiles. "Ready to go baby?" She just nods then goes to hug her mom. I corral her stuff by the door but I hear the conversation. "Honey just think about living with him? He has security…and he--"
"No mom I'm living with Penny. End of discussion. You have to come visit soon before I leave for a while." She just nods and then I hear some crying. God this is awkward. Finally Clary comes over to the door, giving one last hug to her mom. Then her mom hugs me and shoos us out the door. I get to drive since Clary clearly can't. And now here comes the true test. She has been very skittish of cars since the accident. Only going in one when it was completely necessary. I put her bags in then lean up against the car as she delicately makes her way over. I open the door for her and she just stands there. I close the door then look at her. "Clary come on…we have a flight to catch." She nods of course, reaches for the handle then pulls away as if it burned her. Good thing I planned for 20 extra minutes. Yea one time it took her almost a full hour to get in a car. That was the first time back in one after the accident though. Now it could be anywhere from 5-30 minutes. "Clarissa…come on please? I promise nothing will happen." She nods and climbs in. But leaves the door open. I run around to my side and hop in. She sits there gripping the seat, her knuckles have turned white. "You need to shut the door before I can move." Aaand on that note she hops out and starts to pace. I just want to scoop her up and plop her in. But forcing her is not the key, at least that's what the doctors say. So I just lean back in my chair and wait. About 5 minutes later she's climbing back in, shutting the door. "Sorry Ni…" She's taken to calling me that again. I just smile at her.
"S'alright love. I know it's hard for you. Ready to go back home?" She nods but it is a slower nod. I know she is very anxious right now. I bring the car to life. And quickly lock the doors and put on the child lock so she can't get out again. She's clutching the handle so tightly her whole hand is white. I drive down the road, I reach over to put my hand on her thigh to calm her down but she snaps at me. "Two hands on the wheel Niall." Great. She's going to be like this now? I sigh but listen. I don’t want to freak her out anymore. After a very quiet 45 minute car ride we get to the airport. I return my rental car and Clary flies out. I just shake my head and grab our things. Two suitcases and a backpack. Not a whole lot. We get to the gate and sit down to wait. I look at her while she texts her mom. "So whatcha doing tonight baby?" She glances at me, a smile dancing on her lips, and shrugs.
"I don't know…probably hanging out with Nicole or Penny…why?" I trace circles up her thigh. Her breath hitches.
"Mmm sounds like fun…I was just curious…" She pushes my hand away but I put it back.
"Niall…not here. Please stop." I groan but listen. She calls Nicole and they are now actually hanging out which means another lonely night with tumblr for me. Maybe Harry wants to come over. Finally they call out our flight. We board the plane. Clary lets out a yawn and leans on my shoulder. "You can sleep…I'll tell you to wake up okay?" She pecks my cheek and settles back into her spot. Within no time she's asleep. I rest my head on top of hers and how I am beyond thankful to have her here with me right now. I think about that every day. She beat the odds…god they didn't think she would make it. But she did, proving them all wrong. That's my girl. I slowly start to drift off but then the flight attendant asked if I wanted something to drink. So I'm awake again. Good thing it’s a short flight. We land and the security is everywhere holding people back. Clary cowers into me. I instinctively wrap my arm around her pulling her close, murmuring "It's okay baby…it's okay I'll keep you safe." She whimpers when someone comes running over and almost reaches us. She's clinging to me like her life depended on it. And that's when we see the group. Then they all see how Clary is terrified.
Clary's POV
I feel like I'm in a cage. Or an animal being sent in for slaughter. I hear the screams of girls who would kill me to get to Niall. I hate the looks they give me. I hate the words they scream at me. I hate how this is what comes with being with the man I love more than anything. I hate it. I hate them. I hate how my friends are now looking at me with concern. I also hate how my reaction to the fans makes Niall hate them a bit. He loves them I know he does…and I'm sure it kills him a bit to yell back at them when they attack me. Either verbally on the street or via social media. Some people just don't get the hint. I'm clinging to Niall as he leads us over to our friends. Harry instantly takes me in his arms. His whole body wraps me up. Everyone hugs me. Then I am returned to Niall. Who pulls me back into him, whispering to me "Almost home baby." Home…where is my home. It used to be where he was…but my dad left. Then it was where my mom was. Now its here in London with Niall. I really ought to visit my dad. I'm sure he misses me. I miss him. We get to the car. God not these things again. I stop walking and so does everyone else. Niall waves them off and bends so we are eye level. All the fans have quieted. "Clary…come on…" I shake my head no. Flashes of wrecked cars flash through my mind. I have actually remembered some of the actual moment of impact. All I see right now is crashing metal and screeching tires. That's it. I feel my heart racing and my breathing quickens. I see Niall shaking me to get me out of this trance. But all I see is my mom's car crunching to half its size and me, my body flying around like it’s a rag doll. I see Niall talking to me but I can't hear him. All I hear is my heart monitor flattening, bones snapping. That's it. Its like I'm stuck in my own mind. Wandering around trying to get off this torture train but I can't. That's what happens every time I see a car or have to get into one. Sometimes I can snap out of the trance…sometimes I have to see it through. Everyone is over now. Harry and Niall are talking I think. I can't hear them. The sound of metal crashing together drowns everything out. I look at the big SUV and all I see is it crashing. I see myself suspended again. I see the hood crunching up like a paper ball. I see it rolling over and over causing the roof to smash into the cab of the car. All I see is that. That scenario plays over and over. My mind saying don't get in, you won't live this time. They help you recover physically from accidents and mentally. But more like memory and cognitive mental. Not how to react to how your mind will process certain things, or how certain things will trigger a memory I thought never existed. Slowly I slip back into reality enough to hear Niall now. "Clary…Clary look at me not the car. Come on baby. Eyes on me please." He's stroking my cheek and everyone is looking at me now. With concern written all over their faces. I hate that. I slowly peel my eyes off of the death machine and onto Niall. He gives me a smile of relief. "Hey…you okay now?" Am I okay now? No. And I have a feeling that answer will always be no. But I'm not sure. Maybe I'll get over the fear of cars. I don't say or do anything, I just look at him and then our friends and then the fans. Who has shut up. I mean dead silent. You could hear a pin drop. Everyone is probably silently wishing I did die or something. And just the thought of that sprung tears to my eyes. I quickly ran back inside the building through the crowd, much to security's displeasure. I found some hallway and just collapsed on the floor in tears.
Its been exactly three days since Clary finally said that she loved me. Finally, was really all I could think. Over the course of those three days Clary got her stitches removed and a boot to walk in, meaning no more crutches for her. I went to one of her rehab sessions and her motor skills are still intact but she has some memory relapses. Its almost been a month since her accident. Today however is a big day for me at least. Today is the day I finally get to take her back home. To London. We have currently been living in Mullingar. But yesterday that doc said she could go back. And so here I am waiting downstairs for her to finish packing. Her mom and Gracie come over. "Niall you have to make her live with you. I just…I'm nervous about her." I groan because this was the big argument yesterday. Clary refuses to live with me saying she couldn't just ditch Penny.
"She won't listen to me. She says that Penny will be there if she needs help." And just on cue Clary comes hobbling down the stairs. Gracie goes running over. She bends over and plays with her for a bit not paying attention to me or her mom. Then she looks up at me and smiles. "Ready to go baby?" She just nods then goes to hug her mom. I corral her stuff by the door but I hear the conversation. "Honey just think about living with him? He has security…and he--"
"No mom I'm living with Penny. End of discussion. You have to come visit soon before I leave for a while." She just nods and then I hear some crying. God this is awkward. Finally Clary comes over to the door, giving one last hug to her mom. Then her mom hugs me and shoos us out the door. I get to drive since Clary clearly can't. And now here comes the true test. She has been very skittish of cars since the accident. Only going in one when it was completely necessary. I put her bags in then lean up against the car as she delicately makes her way over. I open the door for her and she just stands there. I close the door then look at her. "Clary come on…we have a flight to catch." She nods of course, reaches for the handle then pulls away as if it burned her. Good thing I planned for 20 extra minutes. Yea one time it took her almost a full hour to get in a car. That was the first time back in one after the accident though. Now it could be anywhere from 5-30 minutes. "Clarissa…come on please? I promise nothing will happen." She nods and climbs in. But leaves the door open. I run around to my side and hop in. She sits there gripping the seat, her knuckles have turned white. "You need to shut the door before I can move." Aaand on that note she hops out and starts to pace. I just want to scoop her up and plop her in. But forcing her is not the key, at least that's what the doctors say. So I just lean back in my chair and wait. About 5 minutes later she's climbing back in, shutting the door. "Sorry Ni…" She's taken to calling me that again. I just smile at her.
"S'alright love. I know it's hard for you. Ready to go back home?" She nods but it is a slower nod. I know she is very anxious right now. I bring the car to life. And quickly lock the doors and put on the child lock so she can't get out again. She's clutching the handle so tightly her whole hand is white. I drive down the road, I reach over to put my hand on her thigh to calm her down but she snaps at me. "Two hands on the wheel Niall." Great. She's going to be like this now? I sigh but listen. I don’t want to freak her out anymore. After a very quiet 45 minute car ride we get to the airport. I return my rental car and Clary flies out. I just shake my head and grab our things. Two suitcases and a backpack. Not a whole lot. We get to the gate and sit down to wait. I look at her while she texts her mom. "So whatcha doing tonight baby?" She glances at me, a smile dancing on her lips, and shrugs.
"I don't know…probably hanging out with Nicole or Penny…why?" I trace circles up her thigh. Her breath hitches.
"Mmm sounds like fun…I was just curious…" She pushes my hand away but I put it back.
"Niall…not here. Please stop." I groan but listen. She calls Nicole and they are now actually hanging out which means another lonely night with tumblr for me. Maybe Harry wants to come over. Finally they call out our flight. We board the plane. Clary lets out a yawn and leans on my shoulder. "You can sleep…I'll tell you to wake up okay?" She pecks my cheek and settles back into her spot. Within no time she's asleep. I rest my head on top of hers and how I am beyond thankful to have her here with me right now. I think about that every day. She beat the odds…god they didn't think she would make it. But she did, proving them all wrong. That's my girl. I slowly start to drift off but then the flight attendant asked if I wanted something to drink. So I'm awake again. Good thing it’s a short flight. We land and the security is everywhere holding people back. Clary cowers into me. I instinctively wrap my arm around her pulling her close, murmuring "It's okay baby…it's okay I'll keep you safe." She whimpers when someone comes running over and almost reaches us. She's clinging to me like her life depended on it. And that's when we see the group. Then they all see how Clary is terrified.
Clary's POV
I feel like I'm in a cage. Or an animal being sent in for slaughter. I hear the screams of girls who would kill me to get to Niall. I hate the looks they give me. I hate the words they scream at me. I hate how this is what comes with being with the man I love more than anything. I hate it. I hate them. I hate how my friends are now looking at me with concern. I also hate how my reaction to the fans makes Niall hate them a bit. He loves them I know he does…and I'm sure it kills him a bit to yell back at them when they attack me. Either verbally on the street or via social media. Some people just don't get the hint. I'm clinging to Niall as he leads us over to our friends. Harry instantly takes me in his arms. His whole body wraps me up. Everyone hugs me. Then I am returned to Niall. Who pulls me back into him, whispering to me "Almost home baby." Home…where is my home. It used to be where he was…but my dad left. Then it was where my mom was. Now its here in London with Niall. I really ought to visit my dad. I'm sure he misses me. I miss him. We get to the car. God not these things again. I stop walking and so does everyone else. Niall waves them off and bends so we are eye level. All the fans have quieted. "Clary…come on…" I shake my head no. Flashes of wrecked cars flash through my mind. I have actually remembered some of the actual moment of impact. All I see right now is crashing metal and screeching tires. That's it. I feel my heart racing and my breathing quickens. I see Niall shaking me to get me out of this trance. But all I see is my mom's car crunching to half its size and me, my body flying around like it’s a rag doll. I see Niall talking to me but I can't hear him. All I hear is my heart monitor flattening, bones snapping. That's it. Its like I'm stuck in my own mind. Wandering around trying to get off this torture train but I can't. That's what happens every time I see a car or have to get into one. Sometimes I can snap out of the trance…sometimes I have to see it through. Everyone is over now. Harry and Niall are talking I think. I can't hear them. The sound of metal crashing together drowns everything out. I look at the big SUV and all I see is it crashing. I see myself suspended again. I see the hood crunching up like a paper ball. I see it rolling over and over causing the roof to smash into the cab of the car. All I see is that. That scenario plays over and over. My mind saying don't get in, you won't live this time. They help you recover physically from accidents and mentally. But more like memory and cognitive mental. Not how to react to how your mind will process certain things, or how certain things will trigger a memory I thought never existed. Slowly I slip back into reality enough to hear Niall now. "Clary…Clary look at me not the car. Come on baby. Eyes on me please." He's stroking my cheek and everyone is looking at me now. With concern written all over their faces. I hate that. I slowly peel my eyes off of the death machine and onto Niall. He gives me a smile of relief. "Hey…you okay now?" Am I okay now? No. And I have a feeling that answer will always be no. But I'm not sure. Maybe I'll get over the fear of cars. I don't say or do anything, I just look at him and then our friends and then the fans. Who has shut up. I mean dead silent. You could hear a pin drop. Everyone is probably silently wishing I did die or something. And just the thought of that sprung tears to my eyes. I quickly ran back inside the building through the crowd, much to security's displeasure. I found some hallway and just collapsed on the floor in tears.
Notes
Hey guys! How is everyone doing? I hope you like this update. :) I'm working really hard on this story I promise. And I'm sorry I'm kind of slow to update but sometimes I just can't. I hope you guys understand.
So its so freaking cold here in Green Bay. I all huddled up in a blanket. :( Thanks to all how have subscribed...maybe vote if you haven't? It would be a lot. And omg guys tell me what you think of Steal My Girl!!!! I like it, no doubt very catchy and definitely a good choice for the first single. I have it memorized already. LOL. Anyways have a lovely date
~Annie Xxx
PS: feel free to comment I love comments. I really do. I love getting to know what you all think about the update and about what will happen. Its fun. :)
@redheadedbeauty
Yeah he is ... I wanted to save the picture that's why i asked but thanks
4/11/15