Remember When?
One Step Forward, Two Steps Back
Niall's POV
I get up earlier than usual because I hear my mom banging around in the kitchen. What the hell? I roll out of bed and stumble down the stairs. I see that she is making waffles for me. I slide onto a stool and watch her. Then someone knocks on the door, who is knocking at this time! Its only 9am. My mom runs to get it, then she comes in with Alexandra. Its weird seeing Clary's mom without Clary close by. So out of instinct I look for Clary to come in as well. But she doesn't probably still sleeping. I get up to go shower while they talk about stuff. I look out my window and see Clary looking out through her patio doors. Her hair was in a bun, a pair of sport shorts on and a baggy shirt, probably her dad's. She also had a coffee mug in her hand. I find that I can't move. I just look at her while she sips on her drink. Clary really his the most beautiful girl ever, physically and personality wise as well. She eventually leaves my view so I guess I will go shower now. I head down and see my mom finished up breakfast and Clary's mom was gone. I ate while my mom cleaned up. Personally I think she likes me with crutches, gives her an excuse to baby me again. She even wanted me to take her room downstairs so I wouldn't have to climb up them. "What did Clary's mom want?" I take another bite of my mom's homemade waffles. Heaven for my taste buds. My mom stops drying the dishes and looks at me.
"They are coming over for dinner tonight…won't that be nice! A little reunion." She smiles.
"What?! I thought you were kidding! Mom this is going to be awful! I…she…we…" I don't know how to continue my protest.
"Oh shut it Niall. You should be thanking me! Clary will be coming over…which means you have to make the most of this." I should've figured she was meddling. I groan but don't continue this argument because it would be pointless. Once my mom has made up her mind on something there is no changing. "Fine. When are they coming over?" I look at her back waiting for a respond.
"6pm. Please behave. Just be your charming self." She answers without turning around. I sigh and finish eating. Then I get up to do my dishes but she stops me, taking my plate and waving me off. Great…I don't just want to lay around…maybe I'll go to the café. I tell her where I am going and my mom freaks out. "Is it even safe for you to--"
"Moom…I'll be fine! I'll be back soon okay?" She just nods her head and lets me go. She kept my old car so I have something to drive when I'm here. I get in and I flashback.
"Niall where are we going?" I had one hand on the wheel and another on her thigh. Clary was looking out the window, trying to figure out where we were. I just smile. We were going to the lake, it wasn't warm enough to swimming anymore but my cabin was still open so we were going to spend the weekend before she started up practice there. "Niaaalll! Answer me." I look over to see her crossing her arms and pouting at me.
"Clary…it’s a surprise!" I was smiling. We were almost there. I turned off onto this dirt road. Now Clary was looking out her window like some little kid. I pulled up to our cabin and Clary explodes out of the car. "Hey babe wait up! Help me with the stuff!" She smiles and comes running back. Then pretty much leaps into my arms, kissing me on the lips. I hold her close to me, not letting her down, and lean against the car. We stay like that for a few minutes, our lips moving in sync. I set her down and open the trunk. She grabs stuff and waits for me to open the door. "Niall this is the greatest! You are the best boyfriend ever! I love cabins and camping. We are going to have so much fun!" She sets stuff down and then goes off to explore the cabin.
I look over at her house…god how did everything go so wrong for us. We were so perfect…I know that’s cheesy, because no couple is perfect. But we were…until about November of that year. That's when she grew distant and hung out more with Lilly. I guess everything in me snapped that day that she said she couldn't go. I think I was just sick of her not being around all the time. I'm not a clingy guy but I just always wanted to be near her…so I could touch her. Honestly whenever we were together I was either holding her hand or had an arm around her waist. Now no contact at all really…and its killing me. I just get this itch to reach out and touch her. I realize I haven't even turned the car, so I quickly start it up and drive off. I try to shake every memory away…I try to think of something else. But I can't…she's always on my mind. And I hate that about her. I get to the café…yea the place where we once played and Clary opened for us. I sit down and nobody comes rushing over for pics. I like this part about coming home, everyone knew you before so it's no big deal to have me sitting here. Finally someone comes over so I order. Then someone sits down across from me. "Niall! Fancy having you back here. Nice to see you mate! Even with those dorky ass crutches." I look up and see Nate. I smile at him and shake my head.
"Oh shut it…but its good to be back home for a bit. You still live here? Figured you would have ditched town after school." I get my drink and take a sip.
"Ha…I did for a bit…traveled around Europe for a year. I actually work here though…I own a um flower shop." I almost die from choking on my drink.
"A flower shop?! That's…wow never pictured you doing that…good for you." Nate smiles then looks out the window poking me.
"Did you know Clary is in town? Have you guys talked at all?" He was looking at me now.
"I came here with her. But no not really…just polite conversations. Safe conversations." I look out and see her going into the pet store and her mom close behind…what the hell is she doing?
Clary's POV
I go bouncing into the local pet store like a toddler, my mom slowly follows me in. I smile and wave at the puppies in the play pen area. My mom comes over and stands by me. She sighs and looks down at them. Then she point at one, "Oh that one is adorable! Honey don't you think so?" I look to where she is pointing and instantly fall in love with it. I go and ask the owner for help. And about 30 minutes later we are walking out with our brand new addition to the Wolf family, Gracie. When we get out, we head over to the vets hoping to take care of some stuff and get tags for her. I was holding her and cooing at her. Yep this was great…god I wish I could take her with me. But my mom was right…I don't have the time to keep up with a puppy. Plus, she could use a traveling companion. We finally get done at the vets and I feel bad for all the shots Gracie had to get. But she took them like a champ. We get back to the house and I see Niall pulling into his, I can't believe Maura let him drive! He's all gimpy and stuff. Gracie runs right into the snow and starts to eat it. Niall looks over and smiles at me then notices the brown fur-ball chomping away at the snow right in front of me. This should be good. He comes hobbling over. My mom has gone inside to set up Gracie's bed and stuff. "And who might this be?" Niall looks at Gracie who just starts barking/howling at him while wagging her tail.
"This is Gracie. She's mom's new baby. Isn't that right sugar?" I squat down and am instantly attacked with licks from Gracie. Niall chuckles then asks if he could go inside with me for a bit and play around with her. I agree so we head on in, my mom perks up when she sees Niall with me. I take Gracie off of her leash and let her run about. Niall takes off his crutches and goes after her. My mom comes over to me and stares at me. "What mom?" I turn and look at her.
"Nothing…I know you still like him darling. Why torture yourself?" I scrunch up my face at her words.
"I don't like him still. Please can we not talk about this?" She just smiles and nods before heading off to go 'run errands'. What a load of bullshit. I sigh but go to the living room where Niall and Gracie are playing tug of war. He lets go when he sees me sit down. I sit down next to him and watch them play again. Then she stops and goes to lay down, probably all tuckered out after today's events. I smile at her and then I notice Niall watching me out of the corner of his eye. "Want anything to drink…wait shouldn't you be helping your mom with food?" A smile formed on his lips when I asked him that.
"I watched your mom walk over to my house…so I think I'm off the hook." He moved closer so I just stood up really fast causing Gracie to snap her eyes open. I walked to the kitchen and Gracie follows me in, Niall comes in later. He sits on the counter watching as I got glasses out for drinks. "What do you want?" I don't even look at him when I ask.
"You. But I suppose water will tide me over." I know he is smirking. I fill up his glass and put it down then I grab a soda from the fridge. I fill up my glass, I notice that Gracie has wandered back to the living room to lay down on the rug. I sit down next to Niall. Nobody speaks for a couple of minutes until, "So why'd ya get a puppy?" I look at him and he is staring at me intently.
"Because. We wanted one. Besides you can't say no to that face!" He smiles and shakes his head at my answer, causing me to huff at him then go back to my drink. We finish our drinks so I clean out the glasses when someone knocks on our door. All I hear is "Time for dinner." Then Niall comes back and grabs his crutches then motions for me to come. Gracie is knocked out so I slip on my shoes and head out with him. This will be interesting. I feel like this is the first dinner we had together all over again…
Niall's POV
We get over there right when our moms finish putting food on the table for us. I notice it is only dinner for two. The hell is going on? But then Clary's mom puts down more plates. I go and sit down then motion for Clary to sit down beside me. She does but moves the chair so it's not so close. I don't get her sometimes, there are moments when I feel like we are back to normal…but then sometimes we are back to how we were before we were close. Dinner was relatively quiet minus the polite chit chat. My mom makes Clary retell most of what has happened to her over the years. Honestly I zoned out because her eyes lit up while she talked, plus I could listen to her talk all day long. It's really bad…but I don't mind. There are worse things I could be doing right now. Clary and I are on dish duty. I splashed her with the soap which got me water sprayed on my shirt. When we finally finish I take my shirt off and gesture her to follow me so I could get her a change of clothes. "Honestly Niall I don't need to change! I'll just go home! Speaking of that…where'd did our moms go?" I just shrug not really caring because I like having her alone here. Plus I needed a good excuse to get her to stay longer.
"Clary come on you are soaked! Just stop being so stubborn." I go and grab some old sweats and a shirt for her. When I get to my room she's looking at a picture frame I totally forgot I had. Its one of us that my mom took. She's on my back and we both are laughing at something. She just sits down on the bed and traces the photo with her fingers. Clary puts it back and stands up to find me watching her. "I should go. Um thanks though." She rushes right past me and thunders down the stairs. I drop the clothes and go after her, screw my knee. I grab her arm and spin her into me. She's crying…why the hell is she crying? "Clary talk to me…what is it? I'll make it go away…" I whisper into her ear while rubbing her back, trying to soothe her.
"Just stop being so caring all the time! Niall you have to get that we are done…why bother holding on to something that is lost?" She looks at me and rips herself from my arms.
"Because what we have was never lost Clary! Look at me…and tell me you still don't feel what I feel." my heart is pounding…I know she will lie. How do I know that? Because I know her so well…every little detail about her I have memorized. She searches my eyes and sighs, running her hand through her long red hair.
"Its not about what I feel Niall…its about not repeating the same mistakes." She turns to leave but I stop her again. Like hell I'm letting her leave now.
"Same mistakes? You mean that argument we had all those years ago?! We were kids Clary! Come on please give this another chance…I-I-I love you." She looks at me and her eyes seem lighter…like the darkness has lifted from them.
"Niall…I don't think I can handle it if we go down the same road again…I'm sorry I have to--" I just crash my lips into hers. She just stands there stunned for a moment before pushing me back a bit. She studies me closely and I watch as her eyes dance around my face. I know she is battling herself and I am dying to know what she will say. But she doesn't say anything. She just walks right out my front door. I just scream and run upstairs. I smash the picture frame against the wall and immediately grab the picture from it. How could she just let all we had…have…slip away again? It doesn't make sense to me…I need her…more than I thought possible. I think what hurts me the most is that she has found a way to not need me anymore.
I get up earlier than usual because I hear my mom banging around in the kitchen. What the hell? I roll out of bed and stumble down the stairs. I see that she is making waffles for me. I slide onto a stool and watch her. Then someone knocks on the door, who is knocking at this time! Its only 9am. My mom runs to get it, then she comes in with Alexandra. Its weird seeing Clary's mom without Clary close by. So out of instinct I look for Clary to come in as well. But she doesn't probably still sleeping. I get up to go shower while they talk about stuff. I look out my window and see Clary looking out through her patio doors. Her hair was in a bun, a pair of sport shorts on and a baggy shirt, probably her dad's. She also had a coffee mug in her hand. I find that I can't move. I just look at her while she sips on her drink. Clary really his the most beautiful girl ever, physically and personality wise as well. She eventually leaves my view so I guess I will go shower now. I head down and see my mom finished up breakfast and Clary's mom was gone. I ate while my mom cleaned up. Personally I think she likes me with crutches, gives her an excuse to baby me again. She even wanted me to take her room downstairs so I wouldn't have to climb up them. "What did Clary's mom want?" I take another bite of my mom's homemade waffles. Heaven for my taste buds. My mom stops drying the dishes and looks at me.
"They are coming over for dinner tonight…won't that be nice! A little reunion." She smiles.
"What?! I thought you were kidding! Mom this is going to be awful! I…she…we…" I don't know how to continue my protest.
"Oh shut it Niall. You should be thanking me! Clary will be coming over…which means you have to make the most of this." I should've figured she was meddling. I groan but don't continue this argument because it would be pointless. Once my mom has made up her mind on something there is no changing. "Fine. When are they coming over?" I look at her back waiting for a respond.
"6pm. Please behave. Just be your charming self." She answers without turning around. I sigh and finish eating. Then I get up to do my dishes but she stops me, taking my plate and waving me off. Great…I don't just want to lay around…maybe I'll go to the café. I tell her where I am going and my mom freaks out. "Is it even safe for you to--"
"Moom…I'll be fine! I'll be back soon okay?" She just nods her head and lets me go. She kept my old car so I have something to drive when I'm here. I get in and I flashback.
"Niall where are we going?" I had one hand on the wheel and another on her thigh. Clary was looking out the window, trying to figure out where we were. I just smile. We were going to the lake, it wasn't warm enough to swimming anymore but my cabin was still open so we were going to spend the weekend before she started up practice there. "Niaaalll! Answer me." I look over to see her crossing her arms and pouting at me.
"Clary…it’s a surprise!" I was smiling. We were almost there. I turned off onto this dirt road. Now Clary was looking out her window like some little kid. I pulled up to our cabin and Clary explodes out of the car. "Hey babe wait up! Help me with the stuff!" She smiles and comes running back. Then pretty much leaps into my arms, kissing me on the lips. I hold her close to me, not letting her down, and lean against the car. We stay like that for a few minutes, our lips moving in sync. I set her down and open the trunk. She grabs stuff and waits for me to open the door. "Niall this is the greatest! You are the best boyfriend ever! I love cabins and camping. We are going to have so much fun!" She sets stuff down and then goes off to explore the cabin.
I look over at her house…god how did everything go so wrong for us. We were so perfect…I know that’s cheesy, because no couple is perfect. But we were…until about November of that year. That's when she grew distant and hung out more with Lilly. I guess everything in me snapped that day that she said she couldn't go. I think I was just sick of her not being around all the time. I'm not a clingy guy but I just always wanted to be near her…so I could touch her. Honestly whenever we were together I was either holding her hand or had an arm around her waist. Now no contact at all really…and its killing me. I just get this itch to reach out and touch her. I realize I haven't even turned the car, so I quickly start it up and drive off. I try to shake every memory away…I try to think of something else. But I can't…she's always on my mind. And I hate that about her. I get to the café…yea the place where we once played and Clary opened for us. I sit down and nobody comes rushing over for pics. I like this part about coming home, everyone knew you before so it's no big deal to have me sitting here. Finally someone comes over so I order. Then someone sits down across from me. "Niall! Fancy having you back here. Nice to see you mate! Even with those dorky ass crutches." I look up and see Nate. I smile at him and shake my head.
"Oh shut it…but its good to be back home for a bit. You still live here? Figured you would have ditched town after school." I get my drink and take a sip.
"Ha…I did for a bit…traveled around Europe for a year. I actually work here though…I own a um flower shop." I almost die from choking on my drink.
"A flower shop?! That's…wow never pictured you doing that…good for you." Nate smiles then looks out the window poking me.
"Did you know Clary is in town? Have you guys talked at all?" He was looking at me now.
"I came here with her. But no not really…just polite conversations. Safe conversations." I look out and see her going into the pet store and her mom close behind…what the hell is she doing?
Clary's POV
I go bouncing into the local pet store like a toddler, my mom slowly follows me in. I smile and wave at the puppies in the play pen area. My mom comes over and stands by me. She sighs and looks down at them. Then she point at one, "Oh that one is adorable! Honey don't you think so?" I look to where she is pointing and instantly fall in love with it. I go and ask the owner for help. And about 30 minutes later we are walking out with our brand new addition to the Wolf family, Gracie. When we get out, we head over to the vets hoping to take care of some stuff and get tags for her. I was holding her and cooing at her. Yep this was great…god I wish I could take her with me. But my mom was right…I don't have the time to keep up with a puppy. Plus, she could use a traveling companion. We finally get done at the vets and I feel bad for all the shots Gracie had to get. But she took them like a champ. We get back to the house and I see Niall pulling into his, I can't believe Maura let him drive! He's all gimpy and stuff. Gracie runs right into the snow and starts to eat it. Niall looks over and smiles at me then notices the brown fur-ball chomping away at the snow right in front of me. This should be good. He comes hobbling over. My mom has gone inside to set up Gracie's bed and stuff. "And who might this be?" Niall looks at Gracie who just starts barking/howling at him while wagging her tail.
"This is Gracie. She's mom's new baby. Isn't that right sugar?" I squat down and am instantly attacked with licks from Gracie. Niall chuckles then asks if he could go inside with me for a bit and play around with her. I agree so we head on in, my mom perks up when she sees Niall with me. I take Gracie off of her leash and let her run about. Niall takes off his crutches and goes after her. My mom comes over to me and stares at me. "What mom?" I turn and look at her.
"Nothing…I know you still like him darling. Why torture yourself?" I scrunch up my face at her words.
"I don't like him still. Please can we not talk about this?" She just smiles and nods before heading off to go 'run errands'. What a load of bullshit. I sigh but go to the living room where Niall and Gracie are playing tug of war. He lets go when he sees me sit down. I sit down next to him and watch them play again. Then she stops and goes to lay down, probably all tuckered out after today's events. I smile at her and then I notice Niall watching me out of the corner of his eye. "Want anything to drink…wait shouldn't you be helping your mom with food?" A smile formed on his lips when I asked him that.
"I watched your mom walk over to my house…so I think I'm off the hook." He moved closer so I just stood up really fast causing Gracie to snap her eyes open. I walked to the kitchen and Gracie follows me in, Niall comes in later. He sits on the counter watching as I got glasses out for drinks. "What do you want?" I don't even look at him when I ask.
"You. But I suppose water will tide me over." I know he is smirking. I fill up his glass and put it down then I grab a soda from the fridge. I fill up my glass, I notice that Gracie has wandered back to the living room to lay down on the rug. I sit down next to Niall. Nobody speaks for a couple of minutes until, "So why'd ya get a puppy?" I look at him and he is staring at me intently.
"Because. We wanted one. Besides you can't say no to that face!" He smiles and shakes his head at my answer, causing me to huff at him then go back to my drink. We finish our drinks so I clean out the glasses when someone knocks on our door. All I hear is "Time for dinner." Then Niall comes back and grabs his crutches then motions for me to come. Gracie is knocked out so I slip on my shoes and head out with him. This will be interesting. I feel like this is the first dinner we had together all over again…
Niall's POV
We get over there right when our moms finish putting food on the table for us. I notice it is only dinner for two. The hell is going on? But then Clary's mom puts down more plates. I go and sit down then motion for Clary to sit down beside me. She does but moves the chair so it's not so close. I don't get her sometimes, there are moments when I feel like we are back to normal…but then sometimes we are back to how we were before we were close. Dinner was relatively quiet minus the polite chit chat. My mom makes Clary retell most of what has happened to her over the years. Honestly I zoned out because her eyes lit up while she talked, plus I could listen to her talk all day long. It's really bad…but I don't mind. There are worse things I could be doing right now. Clary and I are on dish duty. I splashed her with the soap which got me water sprayed on my shirt. When we finally finish I take my shirt off and gesture her to follow me so I could get her a change of clothes. "Honestly Niall I don't need to change! I'll just go home! Speaking of that…where'd did our moms go?" I just shrug not really caring because I like having her alone here. Plus I needed a good excuse to get her to stay longer.
"Clary come on you are soaked! Just stop being so stubborn." I go and grab some old sweats and a shirt for her. When I get to my room she's looking at a picture frame I totally forgot I had. Its one of us that my mom took. She's on my back and we both are laughing at something. She just sits down on the bed and traces the photo with her fingers. Clary puts it back and stands up to find me watching her. "I should go. Um thanks though." She rushes right past me and thunders down the stairs. I drop the clothes and go after her, screw my knee. I grab her arm and spin her into me. She's crying…why the hell is she crying? "Clary talk to me…what is it? I'll make it go away…" I whisper into her ear while rubbing her back, trying to soothe her.
"Just stop being so caring all the time! Niall you have to get that we are done…why bother holding on to something that is lost?" She looks at me and rips herself from my arms.
"Because what we have was never lost Clary! Look at me…and tell me you still don't feel what I feel." my heart is pounding…I know she will lie. How do I know that? Because I know her so well…every little detail about her I have memorized. She searches my eyes and sighs, running her hand through her long red hair.
"Its not about what I feel Niall…its about not repeating the same mistakes." She turns to leave but I stop her again. Like hell I'm letting her leave now.
"Same mistakes? You mean that argument we had all those years ago?! We were kids Clary! Come on please give this another chance…I-I-I love you." She looks at me and her eyes seem lighter…like the darkness has lifted from them.
"Niall…I don't think I can handle it if we go down the same road again…I'm sorry I have to--" I just crash my lips into hers. She just stands there stunned for a moment before pushing me back a bit. She studies me closely and I watch as her eyes dance around my face. I know she is battling herself and I am dying to know what she will say. But she doesn't say anything. She just walks right out my front door. I just scream and run upstairs. I smash the picture frame against the wall and immediately grab the picture from it. How could she just let all we had…have…slip away again? It doesn't make sense to me…I need her…more than I thought possible. I think what hurts me the most is that she has found a way to not need me anymore.
Notes
Wow sorry it took so long to update! I have just been super busy this week for some reason. But I hope you like it!! :)
I'm going to see Brad Paisley and Darius Rucker tonight!!! I am so pumped up! It will be good. I hope you have a lovely day!!! Hoping to update again this weekend. :)
Love you guys!
~Annie
PS: Always feel free to comment! Even if it has nothing to do with the story! I would love to get to know you guys! :)
@redheadedbeauty
Yeah he is ... I wanted to save the picture that's why i asked but thanks
4/11/15