No Regrets
33-Niall Knows
Charlotte’s P.O.V.
*Five Days Later*
We tried not to think about the news that the doctors had given us and I didn’t tell any of the guys. My parents and Bri were leaving today. It had been a really fun week full of happiness. We were all living like we would never see each other again, which was probably true. They had met the rest of the guys and thankfully they all got along really well. My parents knew that Niall was the only one who didn’t know, and weren’t very happy with that but I promised I was going to tell him tonight. We were all in Niall’s car; he was driving them to the airport. When we got to the airport he parked the cars and said goodbyes to my family and let me go with them alone to check in. He knew I wanted to be alone with them.
They had checked their bags and were about to go through security. We all stood in a big hug, trying not to cry.
“I promise to skype you guys every day, this isn’t the end yet, okay? They gave me one to two months. You can still come visit before then. Make sure C.J. and Marissa come too, I miss them.” They all nodded and hugged me individually.
“I don’t want to lose you too.” Bri said, tears in her eyes.
“You won’t. You never will. If I can’t be there in person anymore, know that I will ALWAYS be there.” I said, pointing to her heart. She sniffled and nodded.
“My baby. All grown up.” My mom simply said as she pulled me in for one last hug. I hugged her tightly. My dad pulled me in for a hug. “I love you baby girl. Be safe, wherever you are.” My eyes tore up at his words. I was gonna miss him so much. I smiled sadly as they all got in line for security.
“Dad!” I called out and all their heads turned. “Whatever happens, Carry On.” I said and my dad smiled sadly. He knew I was referring to the song “Carry On.” He nodded and wiped his eyes. I watched them all the way through security until they were about to go down the stairs. They turned around and waved. I waved back and watched them descend the stairs.
* * *
“Harry, Zayn, can you call everyone and ask them to come to my flat at 6:00 tonight? I need to tell them some news. The girls too.” I asked Harry and Zayn on the three-way phone call.
“Course, I’ll get Liam, Dani, and Perrie. I’m glad you are telling them.” Zayn said and I smiled.
“I’ll grab everyone else. I’m proud of you Jules.” Harry said and I smiled and nodded. I hung up the phone and then called Niall.
“Hey Niall!” I greeted him and he said hi back. “Can you come by my flat at about 6:00 tonight? Everyone else will be here too, but I need to talk to you guys about something.” HE immediately agreed and then we hung up.
It was about 4:30 so I decided to go grab a quick bite to eat and be back here by 5:30. I quickly headed out to a Chinese restaurant and enjoyed the peace I didn’t get when the boys were around because of paparazzi. I took out my phone and sent a text to Harry.
Hey, can you come over a little early? I want to plan out what I should say and how.
Sure, I’ll be there in 10.
It was 5:20 so I quickly finished my meal and walked home. A few minutes later Harry walked in the door.
“Hey!” I said and he gave me a hug and smiled at me.
“I’m proud of you.” He said and I smiled back at him. “Okay, so how were you thinking of going about this?” He asked, settling himself on the couch. We spent the next half hour deciding what I would say, and finally decided. I changed into a black tank top, a purple sweater and kept on my jean shorts. I left my hair down naturally because I was going to be taking if off anyway. http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=79575507
I had just grabbed some water for us when there was a knock and everyone filed in. They were all joking and laughing and shoving, and it made me happy to see them so happy, at least most of them. You could tell that Zayn, Liam and Lou were a little less happy then everyone else.
“Can I picture or two before I say what I want to?” I said abruptly and everyone looked at me and nodded. I set up my camera for self-timer and everyone piled onto the couch. The first picture was really nice, everyone was smiling and sweet. Then they started getting crazy. Lou was lying on top of everyone and Perrie was behind our heads, and it was really fun. It took multiple pictures, and on one of them all they guys pulled their girlfriends in for a kiss. Harry made a shrugging motion with his hands and shoulders and had a grin on like I couldn’t care less. We were all laughing but I got the camera and everyone sat down again. I had a serious expression and Harry, Lou, Liam and Zayns faces matched mine. I was sitting at the head of the circle; I didn’t want to be sitting with Niall when he found out.
“Okay, I’m sorry to turn the topic serious, but I need to tell you all something.” Everyone’s faces turned serious with mine. “I wasn’t completely honest before when I said why I came to London. It was true, but it wasn’t the whole truth.” The girls and Niall’s eyebrows wrinkled in confusion. “The first night you boys met me I had to go to the hospital. I said it was just to get all the necessary things needed so I could be on file there if I ever needed medical attention. I lied.” Niall’s face was extremely serious and he was leaning towards me. “There is a program at this hospital that offers the best treatment. I was offered the chance to come out here and have them test their treatments on me.” Niall’s mouth was slightly open and he still looked confused. “The treatment was supposed to help cure CLL. Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia.” All the girls gasped and put their hands over their mouths. I looked at Niall and saw his mouth closed, eyes staring straight into mine. His eyes had so many emotions-sadness, hurt, fear. There were slight tears forming in his eyes and I forced myself to look away. I stood up and took off my sweater, revealing the bruises and scars that the needles and my nails had left. Niall’s mouth slightly dropped open and a tear ran down his cheek as he saw them. “I went in for chemotherapy twice a week. Those were the days I used to disappear and no one would see me. I didn’t want you guys to see me. I normally had one needle in each elbow, one in each wrist, and one of the back of each of my hands.” I said, pointing at them as I went.
Niall slowly got up and kneeled down next to me. He took my arm gently and traced his fingertips over the bruises and scars. He dropped his head to the ground after inspecting them and I saw more tears drop. I took a deep breath and continued. “About two weeks ago, I reacted extremely negatively to the chemo. That was the same day Niall announced our relationship. I kept replaying the night Kylie died in her head. I was crazy. The nurses called Harry and he came down and helped me.” Niall’s head shot up when I mentioned Harry’s name. “Before I continue, you should know that Zayn found out the first day I met him. He was the one who took me home from the hospital. Harry found out not long after that, after demanding to know what had happened when he walked in on me crying in Zayn’s flat. Liam and Lou noticed the bruises on my arms and chest last week and they also demanded to know what was going on.” Niall made an inhuman noise in the back of his throat at the news that they all knew before him. Perrie, El, and Dani’s eyes all got wide as they looked at their boyfriends.
“Harry helped me that night, we did go to the beach and I was thinking about Kylie, so I didn’t lie to any of you. About a month ago the chemo caused me to lose my hair completely.” I reached up and slid the wig off of my head. I heard gasps from the girls and heard Niall take in a sharp breath. “I didn’t want to tell you all yet, so I’ve been wearing a wig. But I have news that none of you know, not even Zayn or Harry. When my parents and Bri came the doctors needed to talk to us. While Niall and my dad went golfing my mom, Bri and I all went to the doctor.” Everyone was paying very close attention now, especially Niall, Harry and Zayn. “He said that the treatment had been reacting negatively to my body. The medicine caused me to replay horrific events which caused me to become slightly depressed which has resulted in my body becoming weaker. They said that the medicine that my body will tolerate is only able to slow the cancer, not stop it. The doctors said I have a 10% survival rate, and they gave me one to two months to live.”
*Five Days Later*
We tried not to think about the news that the doctors had given us and I didn’t tell any of the guys. My parents and Bri were leaving today. It had been a really fun week full of happiness. We were all living like we would never see each other again, which was probably true. They had met the rest of the guys and thankfully they all got along really well. My parents knew that Niall was the only one who didn’t know, and weren’t very happy with that but I promised I was going to tell him tonight. We were all in Niall’s car; he was driving them to the airport. When we got to the airport he parked the cars and said goodbyes to my family and let me go with them alone to check in. He knew I wanted to be alone with them.
They had checked their bags and were about to go through security. We all stood in a big hug, trying not to cry.
“I promise to skype you guys every day, this isn’t the end yet, okay? They gave me one to two months. You can still come visit before then. Make sure C.J. and Marissa come too, I miss them.” They all nodded and hugged me individually.
“I don’t want to lose you too.” Bri said, tears in her eyes.
“You won’t. You never will. If I can’t be there in person anymore, know that I will ALWAYS be there.” I said, pointing to her heart. She sniffled and nodded.
“My baby. All grown up.” My mom simply said as she pulled me in for one last hug. I hugged her tightly. My dad pulled me in for a hug. “I love you baby girl. Be safe, wherever you are.” My eyes tore up at his words. I was gonna miss him so much. I smiled sadly as they all got in line for security.
“Dad!” I called out and all their heads turned. “Whatever happens, Carry On.” I said and my dad smiled sadly. He knew I was referring to the song “Carry On.” He nodded and wiped his eyes. I watched them all the way through security until they were about to go down the stairs. They turned around and waved. I waved back and watched them descend the stairs.
* * *
“Harry, Zayn, can you call everyone and ask them to come to my flat at 6:00 tonight? I need to tell them some news. The girls too.” I asked Harry and Zayn on the three-way phone call.
“Course, I’ll get Liam, Dani, and Perrie. I’m glad you are telling them.” Zayn said and I smiled.
“I’ll grab everyone else. I’m proud of you Jules.” Harry said and I smiled and nodded. I hung up the phone and then called Niall.
“Hey Niall!” I greeted him and he said hi back. “Can you come by my flat at about 6:00 tonight? Everyone else will be here too, but I need to talk to you guys about something.” HE immediately agreed and then we hung up.
It was about 4:30 so I decided to go grab a quick bite to eat and be back here by 5:30. I quickly headed out to a Chinese restaurant and enjoyed the peace I didn’t get when the boys were around because of paparazzi. I took out my phone and sent a text to Harry.
Hey, can you come over a little early? I want to plan out what I should say and how.
Sure, I’ll be there in 10.
It was 5:20 so I quickly finished my meal and walked home. A few minutes later Harry walked in the door.
“Hey!” I said and he gave me a hug and smiled at me.
“I’m proud of you.” He said and I smiled back at him. “Okay, so how were you thinking of going about this?” He asked, settling himself on the couch. We spent the next half hour deciding what I would say, and finally decided. I changed into a black tank top, a purple sweater and kept on my jean shorts. I left my hair down naturally because I was going to be taking if off anyway. http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=79575507
I had just grabbed some water for us when there was a knock and everyone filed in. They were all joking and laughing and shoving, and it made me happy to see them so happy, at least most of them. You could tell that Zayn, Liam and Lou were a little less happy then everyone else.
“Can I picture or two before I say what I want to?” I said abruptly and everyone looked at me and nodded. I set up my camera for self-timer and everyone piled onto the couch. The first picture was really nice, everyone was smiling and sweet. Then they started getting crazy. Lou was lying on top of everyone and Perrie was behind our heads, and it was really fun. It took multiple pictures, and on one of them all they guys pulled their girlfriends in for a kiss. Harry made a shrugging motion with his hands and shoulders and had a grin on like I couldn’t care less. We were all laughing but I got the camera and everyone sat down again. I had a serious expression and Harry, Lou, Liam and Zayns faces matched mine. I was sitting at the head of the circle; I didn’t want to be sitting with Niall when he found out.
“Okay, I’m sorry to turn the topic serious, but I need to tell you all something.” Everyone’s faces turned serious with mine. “I wasn’t completely honest before when I said why I came to London. It was true, but it wasn’t the whole truth.” The girls and Niall’s eyebrows wrinkled in confusion. “The first night you boys met me I had to go to the hospital. I said it was just to get all the necessary things needed so I could be on file there if I ever needed medical attention. I lied.” Niall’s face was extremely serious and he was leaning towards me. “There is a program at this hospital that offers the best treatment. I was offered the chance to come out here and have them test their treatments on me.” Niall’s mouth was slightly open and he still looked confused. “The treatment was supposed to help cure CLL. Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia.” All the girls gasped and put their hands over their mouths. I looked at Niall and saw his mouth closed, eyes staring straight into mine. His eyes had so many emotions-sadness, hurt, fear. There were slight tears forming in his eyes and I forced myself to look away. I stood up and took off my sweater, revealing the bruises and scars that the needles and my nails had left. Niall’s mouth slightly dropped open and a tear ran down his cheek as he saw them. “I went in for chemotherapy twice a week. Those were the days I used to disappear and no one would see me. I didn’t want you guys to see me. I normally had one needle in each elbow, one in each wrist, and one of the back of each of my hands.” I said, pointing at them as I went.
Niall slowly got up and kneeled down next to me. He took my arm gently and traced his fingertips over the bruises and scars. He dropped his head to the ground after inspecting them and I saw more tears drop. I took a deep breath and continued. “About two weeks ago, I reacted extremely negatively to the chemo. That was the same day Niall announced our relationship. I kept replaying the night Kylie died in her head. I was crazy. The nurses called Harry and he came down and helped me.” Niall’s head shot up when I mentioned Harry’s name. “Before I continue, you should know that Zayn found out the first day I met him. He was the one who took me home from the hospital. Harry found out not long after that, after demanding to know what had happened when he walked in on me crying in Zayn’s flat. Liam and Lou noticed the bruises on my arms and chest last week and they also demanded to know what was going on.” Niall made an inhuman noise in the back of his throat at the news that they all knew before him. Perrie, El, and Dani’s eyes all got wide as they looked at their boyfriends.
“Harry helped me that night, we did go to the beach and I was thinking about Kylie, so I didn’t lie to any of you. About a month ago the chemo caused me to lose my hair completely.” I reached up and slid the wig off of my head. I heard gasps from the girls and heard Niall take in a sharp breath. “I didn’t want to tell you all yet, so I’ve been wearing a wig. But I have news that none of you know, not even Zayn or Harry. When my parents and Bri came the doctors needed to talk to us. While Niall and my dad went golfing my mom, Bri and I all went to the doctor.” Everyone was paying very close attention now, especially Niall, Harry and Zayn. “He said that the treatment had been reacting negatively to my body. The medicine caused me to replay horrific events which caused me to become slightly depressed which has resulted in my body becoming weaker. They said that the medicine that my body will tolerate is only able to slow the cancer, not stop it. The doctors said I have a 10% survival rate, and they gave me one to two months to live.”
Notes
Thoughts? How do you think Niall and all the other boys and girls are taking the news in the last sentence? How are YOU guys taking it? Please tell me!COMMENT~RATE~SUBSCRIBE
Awesome!:) and I know exactly how you feel!=]
7/21/13