No Regrets
19-A Trip to the Salon
*Two Weeks Later*
Charlotte’s P.O.V.
The past few weeks have been pretty boring. I’ve been hanging out with the guys a lot, well at least when they aren’t busy with stuff for the band. I have been going to chemo twice a week, and it still hasn’t gotten any easier. The bruises still appear, and I still get very tired and weak. I have almost no hair, so I always wear a beanie to cover it. Zayn wants to come to chemo with me, but I won’t let him. I don’t want him to see me so miserable. None of the other boys know about me yet. Niall and I have become closer; we always have a good time when we all hang out.
I went to chemo yesterday, and when I woke up this morning I had even less hair. I don’t want the boys to know yet, so I am on my way to get a wig. I googled a salon that sold wigs and once I found one I got dressed. I was wearing black and white leggings, a blue and white sweater, a blue beanie, pink sneakers, and small fingerless gloves to cover the bruises on my hands. http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=76850048 I grabbed my purse and headed out the door. I texted Zayn and said Hey, I’m going out to get my hair done. Text ya after I knew Zayn would know what I meant.
I hopped into the cab and enjoyed the last few minutes that I had hair. I walked into the shop and met with the lady. I told her what I needed and we got down to business. She sat me down in the chair and removed my beanie. I could hear the buzz of the machine as it roared to life. A tear fell from my eyes as the first strip of my hair was cut off. More tears fell as the rest of my hair was removed. It only took a few minutes to cut off all the hair.
http://www.ekmpowershop6.com/ekmps/shops/videoshop/images/fc27-fc27jessica010web.jpg
After the first few stripes I closed my eyes, but I opened them and gasped at my reflection. I examined my head without its hair. I took a deep breath and got up. I thought of Kylie and what she would be saying to me if she were still here. It helped me to stay strong. If I hadn’t heard her words of encouragement in my head I would have broken down. I turned my face away from the mirror and got up to follow the lady to the section with the wigs. She seemed to understand my pain and was very sweet. She helped me try on multiple wigs and I finally settled on three wigs of the same color and length. I decided to get three so that I could have multiple options for each day. I bought the wigs and headed out of the store with one situated on my head. I put my glasses on so that puffy eyes couldn’t be seen.
Once I reached my flat I walked in and immediately went to my bed. I crawled in and just laid there for a little bit. After a half hour of sulking I got up and went to the bathroom. I took off my wig and the tape that holds it. I stared at myself in all my baldness and let the tears run down my face. I actually looked like I had cancer now. I was standing there staring at myself when I heard a knock on the door. I jumped before creeping over to the door to see who it was. It was the boys. I didn’t want to answer them all right now so I didn’t answer. I went back to my bedroom to find I had multiple new texts.
From: Niall <3 xx
Hey just wondering what you were doing, we’re off now so let us know if you want to come over :) xx
I smiled at his text and opened the next one.
From: Zayn!!
I know you are probably upset from today, I tried to keep the boys away from your flat but they insisted. I’ll be at my flat alone if you wanna talk
I smiled and decided that I needed company. I grabbed my wig, threw it in my purse and put my beanie on. I looked around outside my door before quickly darting through the hallways to Zayn’s flat. I knocked on the door and it was opened a few seconds later. He quickly pulled me in and shut the door. I fell into his arms crying. He held me there until I pulled away and headed to the living room. I sunk onto the couch, grabbed a pillow and squeezed it. Zayn sat down next to me and I slowly reached up and pulled my beanie off my head. Zayn’s eyes slowly took in my bald head. His eyes traveled around my head and then met my eyes. He pulled me in for a hug and held me as the tears fell.
We sat there for a few minutes before I pulled away to wipe my face. Zayn was rubbing the side of my arm soothingly as I tried to contain myself. All of a sudden the door burst open and Liam and Harry walked in. I screamed as they looked at me and threw a blanket over my head.
“Now isn’t the best time.” Zayn hissed at them.
“Uhhh, sorry we didn’t mean to.” Liam said. I had started crying again and I tried to make it quiet, but I knew they all could hear me. “Is she okay?”
“Obviously not, if I were you I would just leave.” Zayn said in a whisper as he rubbed my back.
“Okay, we’re sorry again. Char…we’re here for you.” Harry said as they left the flat.
“You need to tell them. They deserve to know, and now Harry and Liam are going to be asking. I don’t want to lie to them.”
“I don’t know if I’m ready to tell them,” I said emerging from the blanket. “I don’t want them to look at me differently. I don’t want them to feel sorry for me, I don’t want their sympathy.” I closed my eyes and leant back against the couch. I was extremely tired and quickly fell asleep. Zayn seemed to understand and let me sleep.
The Next Day
Charlotte’s P.O.V
(Italics=Niall Bold=Char)
1 New Text Message From: Niall <3 xx
Haven’t seen ya in a while, watcha been up to?
Not much, just trying to find a job and sightseeing. London is SO beautiful
I had been sightseeing the past week as well as trying to find a job, so I wasn’t lying.
Can I swing by your flat for a few? I wanna talk to you real quick
Oh no, what if Harry and Liam told him and he wants to know what it’s about? I started freaking out before I remembered that Zayn made them swear not to say anything.
Sure, just give me a few minutes to get out of bed
I woke up at Zayns early this morning, so I left for my flat and went straight back to sleep. I went to put my wig on. It would be the first time any of them would see me in it. It looked exactly like my old hair used to but I was still really nervous. I put some sweatpants on over my underwear, and threw on a new t-shirt. I went to go make some toast while I was waiting for Niall. I remembered that I didn’t have on anything to cover the bruises and quickly threw on a sweatshirt right as there was a knock on the door.
“Hey!” I said as I opened the door and let me in.
“Hey! What’s up?” He asked as he walked in and gave me one of his famous hugs that I loved so much.
“Just got up and was making some breakfast. Want anything?” I asked as I walked to the kitchen. “Do I even need to ask?” I laughed at myself. This was Niall: he ALWAYS wanted food. He smiled as I handed him some cinnamon and sugar toast.
“You already know me and my food!” Niall said laughing.
“Course I do! I have hung out with you for longer than one hour. Anyone could see how much you love food!” He laughed again and I saw he was slightly blushing.
“Anyways, I was just wondering if you wanted to go to dinner with me tonight?” He asked, speeding up his words towards the end. He was blushing and looking down with his hands in his pockets.
“I would love to Niall, thank you.” I said smiling warmly at him. He perked up and smiled.
“Great! I’ll pick you up at 7! I know you haven’t been to Nando’s yet, and that is my favorite restaurant, so that’s where we will be going. That ok?” He asked.
“I’ve been dying to go there!! And I get a professional in their food to help me so that is perfect!” I saw him blush at my words which in turn made me blush.
“Great! Well the lads and I have an interview, so I gotta go, but I’ll see you tonight!” He hugged me and then gave me a quick kiss on my cheek. I smiled and waved as he walked out the door. As soon as the door was closed I squealed and grabbed the spot he kissed. When he kissed it I felt flames erupting in my skin. His lips on my cheek made the skin tingle and want more. What is this boy doing to me? I’ve NEVER felt like this before. There were butterflies in my stomach, flames and tingling in my skin, and the smell of his vanilla cologne made me want to faint. I was a sucker for vanilla, and on him it was just so intoxicating. I couldn’t wait for tonight!!
Charlotte’s P.O.V.
The past few weeks have been pretty boring. I’ve been hanging out with the guys a lot, well at least when they aren’t busy with stuff for the band. I have been going to chemo twice a week, and it still hasn’t gotten any easier. The bruises still appear, and I still get very tired and weak. I have almost no hair, so I always wear a beanie to cover it. Zayn wants to come to chemo with me, but I won’t let him. I don’t want him to see me so miserable. None of the other boys know about me yet. Niall and I have become closer; we always have a good time when we all hang out.
I went to chemo yesterday, and when I woke up this morning I had even less hair. I don’t want the boys to know yet, so I am on my way to get a wig. I googled a salon that sold wigs and once I found one I got dressed. I was wearing black and white leggings, a blue and white sweater, a blue beanie, pink sneakers, and small fingerless gloves to cover the bruises on my hands. http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=76850048 I grabbed my purse and headed out the door. I texted Zayn and said Hey, I’m going out to get my hair done. Text ya after I knew Zayn would know what I meant.
I hopped into the cab and enjoyed the last few minutes that I had hair. I walked into the shop and met with the lady. I told her what I needed and we got down to business. She sat me down in the chair and removed my beanie. I could hear the buzz of the machine as it roared to life. A tear fell from my eyes as the first strip of my hair was cut off. More tears fell as the rest of my hair was removed. It only took a few minutes to cut off all the hair.
http://www.ekmpowershop6.com/ekmps/shops/videoshop/images/fc27-fc27jessica010web.jpgAfter the first few stripes I closed my eyes, but I opened them and gasped at my reflection. I examined my head without its hair. I took a deep breath and got up. I thought of Kylie and what she would be saying to me if she were still here. It helped me to stay strong. If I hadn’t heard her words of encouragement in my head I would have broken down. I turned my face away from the mirror and got up to follow the lady to the section with the wigs. She seemed to understand my pain and was very sweet. She helped me try on multiple wigs and I finally settled on three wigs of the same color and length. I decided to get three so that I could have multiple options for each day. I bought the wigs and headed out of the store with one situated on my head. I put my glasses on so that puffy eyes couldn’t be seen.
Once I reached my flat I walked in and immediately went to my bed. I crawled in and just laid there for a little bit. After a half hour of sulking I got up and went to the bathroom. I took off my wig and the tape that holds it. I stared at myself in all my baldness and let the tears run down my face. I actually looked like I had cancer now. I was standing there staring at myself when I heard a knock on the door. I jumped before creeping over to the door to see who it was. It was the boys. I didn’t want to answer them all right now so I didn’t answer. I went back to my bedroom to find I had multiple new texts.
From: Niall <3 xx
Hey just wondering what you were doing, we’re off now so let us know if you want to come over :) xx
I smiled at his text and opened the next one.
From: Zayn!!
I know you are probably upset from today, I tried to keep the boys away from your flat but they insisted. I’ll be at my flat alone if you wanna talk
I smiled and decided that I needed company. I grabbed my wig, threw it in my purse and put my beanie on. I looked around outside my door before quickly darting through the hallways to Zayn’s flat. I knocked on the door and it was opened a few seconds later. He quickly pulled me in and shut the door. I fell into his arms crying. He held me there until I pulled away and headed to the living room. I sunk onto the couch, grabbed a pillow and squeezed it. Zayn sat down next to me and I slowly reached up and pulled my beanie off my head. Zayn’s eyes slowly took in my bald head. His eyes traveled around my head and then met my eyes. He pulled me in for a hug and held me as the tears fell.
We sat there for a few minutes before I pulled away to wipe my face. Zayn was rubbing the side of my arm soothingly as I tried to contain myself. All of a sudden the door burst open and Liam and Harry walked in. I screamed as they looked at me and threw a blanket over my head.
“Now isn’t the best time.” Zayn hissed at them.
“Uhhh, sorry we didn’t mean to.” Liam said. I had started crying again and I tried to make it quiet, but I knew they all could hear me. “Is she okay?”
“Obviously not, if I were you I would just leave.” Zayn said in a whisper as he rubbed my back.
“Okay, we’re sorry again. Char…we’re here for you.” Harry said as they left the flat.
“You need to tell them. They deserve to know, and now Harry and Liam are going to be asking. I don’t want to lie to them.”
“I don’t know if I’m ready to tell them,” I said emerging from the blanket. “I don’t want them to look at me differently. I don’t want them to feel sorry for me, I don’t want their sympathy.” I closed my eyes and leant back against the couch. I was extremely tired and quickly fell asleep. Zayn seemed to understand and let me sleep.
The Next Day
Charlotte’s P.O.V
(Italics=Niall Bold=Char)
1 New Text Message From: Niall <3 xx
Haven’t seen ya in a while, watcha been up to?
Not much, just trying to find a job and sightseeing. London is SO beautiful
I had been sightseeing the past week as well as trying to find a job, so I wasn’t lying.
Can I swing by your flat for a few? I wanna talk to you real quick
Oh no, what if Harry and Liam told him and he wants to know what it’s about? I started freaking out before I remembered that Zayn made them swear not to say anything.
Sure, just give me a few minutes to get out of bed
I woke up at Zayns early this morning, so I left for my flat and went straight back to sleep. I went to put my wig on. It would be the first time any of them would see me in it. It looked exactly like my old hair used to but I was still really nervous. I put some sweatpants on over my underwear, and threw on a new t-shirt. I went to go make some toast while I was waiting for Niall. I remembered that I didn’t have on anything to cover the bruises and quickly threw on a sweatshirt right as there was a knock on the door.
“Hey!” I said as I opened the door and let me in.
“Hey! What’s up?” He asked as he walked in and gave me one of his famous hugs that I loved so much.
“Just got up and was making some breakfast. Want anything?” I asked as I walked to the kitchen. “Do I even need to ask?” I laughed at myself. This was Niall: he ALWAYS wanted food. He smiled as I handed him some cinnamon and sugar toast.
“You already know me and my food!” Niall said laughing.
“Course I do! I have hung out with you for longer than one hour. Anyone could see how much you love food!” He laughed again and I saw he was slightly blushing.
“Anyways, I was just wondering if you wanted to go to dinner with me tonight?” He asked, speeding up his words towards the end. He was blushing and looking down with his hands in his pockets.
“I would love to Niall, thank you.” I said smiling warmly at him. He perked up and smiled.
“Great! I’ll pick you up at 7! I know you haven’t been to Nando’s yet, and that is my favorite restaurant, so that’s where we will be going. That ok?” He asked.
“I’ve been dying to go there!! And I get a professional in their food to help me so that is perfect!” I saw him blush at my words which in turn made me blush.
“Great! Well the lads and I have an interview, so I gotta go, but I’ll see you tonight!” He hugged me and then gave me a quick kiss on my cheek. I smiled and waved as he walked out the door. As soon as the door was closed I squealed and grabbed the spot he kissed. When he kissed it I felt flames erupting in my skin. His lips on my cheek made the skin tingle and want more. What is this boy doing to me? I’ve NEVER felt like this before. There were butterflies in my stomach, flames and tingling in my skin, and the smell of his vanilla cologne made me want to faint. I was a sucker for vanilla, and on him it was just so intoxicating. I couldn’t wait for tonight!!
Notes
Again, I got emotional typing this. So, she now has no hair! And Harry and Liam saw her without it...what do think will happen? What do you think will happen at dinner? I'd love to know your thoughts!COMMENT~RATE~SUBSCRIBE
Awesome!:) and I know exactly how you feel!=]
7/21/13