Blinded
you see, i'm searching for what used to be mine
Lila didn’t leave even after Niall’s outburst. He could still hear her moving and cleaning up the mess he had made. He was slowly feeling guilty for shouting and yelling at her, and he bit his lip lightly as he rubbed at his eyes constantly. The tears were never ending, but his sobs had diminished to silence. His head tilted back to where it hit the door lightly, and he felt himself take in a deep shaky breath.
The water was running, and he could just imagine Lila washing her hands after cleaning up the broken glass and sweeping up the spaghetti. He knew what he had done to her was wrong, and he slowly got up onto his feet unsteadily. He stared at the brass knob for a moment, uncertain about this before he twisted it and slowly exited the room.
He could still hear the water running when he had exited the room, and he bit his lip lightly before he slowly made the path down the hall. She was standing in the kitchen washing her hands, and when she turned off the faucet, she turned. “Oh, Niall,” she murmured softly as she gently wiped her hands dry. He could see white little scratches on her hands, and he assumed it was from the glass.
He felt himself pull his bottom lip in between his teeth as he stared at them for a moment before he engulfed her into his arms. The tears fell down his cheeks even faster, and he didn’t motion to wipe them away or stop them. “I don’t know what to do, Lila,” he cried softly into her shoulder as he pulled her even closer to him. “I’m so lost and scared, and I just I don’t know anymore!”
He felt her arms encircle him, and he felt her make small circles onto his back as she whispered sweet nothings into his ear. “Oh Niall,” she whispered gently as she let one of her hands venture up to his hair, and she gently ran it through the soft blond locks. “You don’t deserve this at all, but you can’t go blaming yourself, Niall. It wasn’t your fault,” she told him in a tender way.
“Niall Horan,” she whispered his name softly, but it seemed to rang in his ears, “you have no idea how much everyone loves you. Willow wouldn’t want you living like this. She loved you.” Somehow, her words calmed him, but it seemed like she was leaving something out. She was keeping her thoughts to herself, and Niall couldn’t help but wonder what.
The water was running, and he could just imagine Lila washing her hands after cleaning up the broken glass and sweeping up the spaghetti. He knew what he had done to her was wrong, and he slowly got up onto his feet unsteadily. He stared at the brass knob for a moment, uncertain about this before he twisted it and slowly exited the room.
He could still hear the water running when he had exited the room, and he bit his lip lightly before he slowly made the path down the hall. She was standing in the kitchen washing her hands, and when she turned off the faucet, she turned. “Oh, Niall,” she murmured softly as she gently wiped her hands dry. He could see white little scratches on her hands, and he assumed it was from the glass.
He felt himself pull his bottom lip in between his teeth as he stared at them for a moment before he engulfed her into his arms. The tears fell down his cheeks even faster, and he didn’t motion to wipe them away or stop them. “I don’t know what to do, Lila,” he cried softly into her shoulder as he pulled her even closer to him. “I’m so lost and scared, and I just I don’t know anymore!”
He felt her arms encircle him, and he felt her make small circles onto his back as she whispered sweet nothings into his ear. “Oh Niall,” she whispered gently as she let one of her hands venture up to his hair, and she gently ran it through the soft blond locks. “You don’t deserve this at all, but you can’t go blaming yourself, Niall. It wasn’t your fault,” she told him in a tender way.
“Niall Horan,” she whispered his name softly, but it seemed to rang in his ears, “you have no idea how much everyone loves you. Willow wouldn’t want you living like this. She loved you.” Somehow, her words calmed him, but it seemed like she was leaving something out. She was keeping her thoughts to herself, and Niall couldn’t help but wonder what.
5/28/13