"I love you."

This time it finally registers. The whole world comes to a stand still and I just stare at him. He loves me. He loves me. The only thing I can register right now is how fast and hard his heart is beating under my hand. No one has ever been in love with me before...I've never been in love with anyone before. Is this what that feels like? Hearing him say those three words is the most terrifying and exhilarating experience.

Despite my reaction, or lack of reaction, Harry smiles down at me, his thumb continually tracing light lines over my cheekbone. I just stare up at him with wide eyes. He moves even closer to me.

"I know we fight a lot and sometimes we annoy the hell out of each other. You bring out the best and worst parts of me and drive me insane in the best possible way. You make me feel safe and happy and crazy and alive. It's not easy and this relationship may be a lot of work for both of us, but I wouldn't change anything," he says, placing is other hand on the other side of my face. "Not one thing."

Thirty seconds ago we were screaming at each other. Now he's telling me he loves me. He's right, we do drive each other insane. We fight way more than we should and nothing is ever easy with us. But none of that has ever made me think that it isn't worth it, that whatever it is we have isn't worth fighting for. I would never walk away from this. But....do I love him?

"I know it scares you, love. You don't have to say anything. I just wanted you to know that," he says softly. He stares into my eyes and wipes under them, wiping away tears I wasn't aware had formed. A smile still holds on his lips, and in a short amount of time he went from angry and annoyed to just plain happy. I can see it in his eyes. Why am I so terrified?

"Kiss me," I whisper.

He looks back and forth between my eyes a few times before slowly leaning towards me. I close my eyes as our lips meet and try to wrap my brain around what just happened. On one hand it completely terrifies me. On the other...

I slowly wrap my arms around my neck, one set of fingers finding their way into his curls. This kiss...it's different somehow. It's slow and simple, but somehow infinitely more passionate than any other we've shared. I don't know how to explain it, but I can just feel how much he loves me. I don't know why it's so surprising that he told me that, because everything he does, the way he talks, the way he looks at me, it's so obvious that he loves me. I don't know how I never realized it before.

The only problem is, I don't know if I can say it back to him. I haven't really thought about it much, other than when Mason found out and jumped to that conclusion. Even if I am in love with Harry, I don't know if I'm ready to admit that to him or even to myself yet. That's a huge step.

He breaks the kiss and wraps his arms around me, burying his face in the crook of my neck. I can't help but smile, even though I feel so scared. It's a good scared, don't get me wrong, but scared nonetheless. I feel bad that I haven't said anything, but I can't say it unless I'm ready. That wouldn't be fair to either of us.

"You make me so happy," he whispers, gently kissing my neck. I shiver slightly and he pulls away from my embrace to look at me. "You know that, right?"

"You make me happy, too," I say quietly. He smiles and closes his eyes briefly as I comb my fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry that I didn't...that I can't..."

"Baby, it's fine," he says, shaking his head. "I don't need you to say anything until you're ready. Let's go to bed, okay?"

I nod and he kisses my forehead, letting his arms fall from my body but taking my hand as he walks around the loft to turn off the lights. He leads me up the stairs and I go to sit on the edge of the bed while he changes out of his clothes. I slide my leggings off of my legs, crawling backwards to get under the covers. Harry walks around when he's only in his boxers, flicking off the light and coming to join me. He wraps one strong arm around me and pulls my tight against his chest. This is my favourite place to be.

---

"Shit."

I wake up abruptly when I hear phone vibrating and Harry cussing. His arm leaves it's place from around me and I open my eyes slowly, turning back to where he was just laying. He pushes the blankets from his body and gets out of bed, walking over to where he discarded his jeans last night. He pulls his phone out and holds it to his ear.

"Hello?....Shit, sorry mate. I slept in....Yeah, I'll be down in a minute." He goes digging through his closet and pulls on a pair of dark jeans.

"Harry?" I ask groggily. He turns and smiles softly at me, coming back over to the bed and sitting on the edge beside me. "Are you leaving?"

"Yeah, Liam is parked downstairs waiting for me." He pushes my crazy hair away from my face.

"Right, you're going to the airport," I recall. He nods.

"Sorry, I don't want to leave."

"No, it's fine. Go ahead, I'll be okay."

"Will you wait for me?" he asks, smiling down at me. My heart flips and I nod my head, sitting up and wrapping my arms around his neck. "I'll be gone maybe an hour. There's something I want to talk to you about when I get back."

"Sounds serious," I joke. "I'll be here."

"Good." He smiles and kisses me quickly before getting up again. I fall back against the mattress and watch while he pulls a black tshirt over his head, followed by a plaid button-up. He disappears into the bathroom for a few minutes and comes over to me afterwards, hovering over me on his hands and knees.

"Who are you trying to impress at the airport?" I ask, fiddling with his collar. He laughs a little.

"I'll be back soon. Go back to sleep."

"If you insist."

He smiles and leans down to kiss me quickly, proceeding to leave quick kisses all over my face. I giggle and push his face away, smiling up at him.

"They're waiting for you."

"Right. I won't be long, I promise."

I nod and he kisses me once more before getting off the bed and getting his phone and wallet from on top of his dresser. He winks at me as he walks to the stairs and I wave before he disappears from my sightline. I close my eyes and settle back into the bed, waiting to fall asleep again. Suddenly I remember last night.

I shoot back up into a sitting position. Harry...he told me he loved me. He said...wow. Is that crazy? We've been together for just over a month now, and he's already in love with me? I guess we had something going long before we were actually together so it's a little more understandable but still. I have no idea what a normal amount of time would be for that to happen. Maybe there isn't a normal amount of time? I have no idea what to think.

I quickly get out of bed and slide on a pair of Harry's boxers. I can't just lay in bed, I need to keep myself busy. I have no idea how I feel about what Harry told me. I mean I guess it's good that he was honest with me. I know why he acted the way he did and I get why he's having such a hard time. If I was in his position I would be freaking out too, since I probably don't seem like I'm in the same place as him. He doesn't seem upset that I never said it back, though. Doesn't that usually make people go into freak mode? Get all scared that you care too much, that you freaked the other person out. That's usually what happens, isn't it?

I busy myself by making the bed like I'm in a hospital, then pick up all the clothes Harry has scattered around the floor. I move into the bathroom next, scrubbing everything spotless to try to keep my mind off of everything. I don't want to overthink this and scare myself into leaving before Harry comes back. As soon as he's back here I'll feel better. He makes everything better.

When I'm done with the bathroom Harry still hasn't come back, so I go downstairs and start on the kitchen. I don't think Harry did dishes at all yesterday, because there's quite a few. I don't mind though, I need to keep myself busy. When the dishes are done I clean everything else, I even vacuum the whole place. After everything is spotless and Harry still isn't home, I go to the fridge and take everything out to clean that as well.

About halfway through going through all the food, Harry finally walks in the door. I turn and smile at him, which he returns with a curious look.

"What are you doing?" he asks, throwing his keys and wallet on the counter. I shrug and look at the due date on a container.

"I got bored. Do you ever go through this? There's stuff in here that went back over a month ago," I say, laughing and tossing the container in the trash.

"Who has time for that," he says sarcastically. His arms wind around my waist and he kisses my cheek once before just leaning his chin on my shoulder. I reach for another container. "So...why are you cleaning out my fridge?"

"I was umm...just trying to keep myself busy. What is this?" I ask, scrunching my nose up when I take the lid off a tupperware container.

"Just throw that out, I don't even want to try to clean that container," he says, laughing and taking it from me. He tosses it in the trash and turns me to face him. "You don't need to clean out my fridge, babe."

"Apparently I do, since you have stuff in here that's older than I am," I joke, putting my hands on his chest. "How was dropping off Louis and Eleanor?"

"Shitty," he says sadly. "I'll have to go there soon anyway to see my family and stuff. I'll see them soon."

"I'm sure you will," I say, trying to cheer him up. He smiles half heartedly and I put my hands on either side of his face. "It's not too late to go home for Christmas, you know."

"Are you trying to get rid of me?" he asks, raising an eyebrow. I roll my eyes. "Speaking of Christmas, I have bit of a surprise for you."

"Oh?" He nods and I play with his hair a bit, since he apparently forgot to put gel in it this morning. "What kind of surprise?"

"Well it involves you. And me. And us being able to be in public."

"Like...together?" I ask, raising my eyebrows. He nods. "That...would be amazing, what are you talking about?"

"Well, what would you say if I told you that I booked us a trip?" he asks, hugging me closer. My eyes go wide and I smile widely.

"Are you serious?" I squeal. He laughs and nods his head, laughing while I start jumping up and down.

"Okay, this means excited right? I don't speak girl."

"Yes!" I say loudly, throwing my arms around his neck. He laughs again while he holds me up. I stand on the ground again so I can find out more. "Where are we going? When do we leave? I haven't been on vacation in so long! Wait, where are we going?"

He laughs more. "I'm not telling you where we're going, that's a surprise. I figured we could stick around for Christmas and go for a few days for New Year's Eve. Our flight is the sunday after Christmas. I think it's the 29th. We'll be gone until January 2nd. Does that-"

"That's perfect!" I say excitedly. He laughs again and I kiss him. This is so perfect. Going away, being able to walk around like a normal couple, I can't even contain my excitement.

"So I take it you want to go?" he asks when I pull back again. I laugh and nod my head in agreement. "Perfect. It's going to be great."

"I want to know where we're going, though."

"Not happening," he says, tapping my nose. I pout dramatically but he shakes his head.

"Harry," I whine. "I need to know how to pack."

"It's not a problem, I already have a bag for you," he says proudly.

"You...what?" I ask, stopping all my excitement. He smiles deviously.

"Eleanor helped me out."

"You went to my house with Eleanor and packed my stuff?" I ask, laughing a little in disbelief. He shakes his head and laughs again.

"No, you weirdo. Don't worry about it." He winks and reaches around me for a bottle of water.

"I am worried about it." He just laughs again and walks over to the living room. "Come on! I need to like....mentally prepare for it," I reason. He smiles at me with a 'yeah, okay' look and turns on the TV. I huff in frustration and turn around to continue what I was doing. There's seriously some gross stuff in this fridge.

"Savannah, stop cleaning my shit!" he calls. I shrug and continue what I'm doing. I jump when I'm suddenly lifted off the ground. Harry throws me over his shoulder and shuts the fridge, carrying me over to the couch. He tosses me onto the couch and immediately lays on top of me to keep me there.

"Come on, just let me finish, I'm almost done!"

"No. It's Sunday and you just finished exams and we just stopped fighting," he says firmly. I roll my eyes but can't help the smile that crawls onto my face. "I just want to lay here all day and-"

"Shit!" I yell suddenly. His eyes go wide. "Oh my...I need to go."

"What?" he asks, confused.

"My parents, they're home. I told Mason I'd be home this morning, he's probably wondering where I am."

"Can't you just call him?" he asks sadly. I smile up at him and put my hands on either side of his face. "I don't want you to go."

"I'll come back," I promise. "If I'm gone all day my parents might ask questions. I don't want my brother to have to lie, especially since he's not exactly your biggest fan."

He grimaces slightly and I try to smile in encouragement. After a minute he sighs and presses his forehead against mine.

"I understand. Will you be able to come back later?"

"I'll try. I probably can't sleep over, but I'll come back for a few hours after dinner and we can watch a movie or something," I suggest, my breathing picking up slightly.

"Okay," he breathes. I try to get the words out to get him to let me get up, but they won't come. His lips slowly get closer to mine and it feels like it takes forever for his lips to find mine. When they do I tighten my arms around his neck, his body lowering further onto mine. I wrap one leg around his and our lips move together hungrily, perfectly in sync. Why was I leaving again?

"Harry," I breathe, his lips aggressively marking my neck. "I really do need to go."

"Sure," he mumbles. I bite my lip and he leaves a more gentle trail of kisses up my neck and back to my lips. He kisses me tenderly and finally allows me some time to clear my thoughts.

"Okay," I say shakily. He smirks at me and I put my hands on his shoulders. "I need to go."

He sits back and lets me get up, though my legs feel shaky at best. He smiles at me from his spot next to me on the couch and I slowly stand up.

"I'll umm..I'll text you. Later." I walk towards the door but he clears his throat and stands up to stop me. "Seriously, Harry! I need to get home."

"I know, I was just going to say..." he stops in front of me and looks down at my clothes. "You may want to change."

I look down at my oversized garments from Harry's closet and laugh a little.

"Right."

Notes

so nothing really happened but for some reason its all i could do today so...yeah. i hope you guys liked it! im sorry, i wanted to have it up a long time ago but it took me forever and i hd homework so...yeah.

anyway please tell me what you think!!! the comments have been amazing, please keep commenting :)

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thanks so much for reading you guys. means the world to me :)xx