I go back to my own work as I finish explaining something to Mikayla. She stares at her computer screen and starts typing away. I start my chemistry homework and try to focus on the equations, but my thoughts drift to Harry, of course. We had breakfast together Saturday after our little discussion the night before. It wasn't awkward, but I could tell Harry's mind was somewhere else. I know he wants more than what I'm giving him right now; I knew that the whole time and I told him I couldn't be that person. Not yet, at least.

He said he had work to do, so I went home and spent some time with my friends. I wanted to spend the entire weekend with him, but I don't think that's what he wanted. We spent tuesday night together this week. One night as opposed to last week when we spent every night together. I know he's upset, but he won't tell me about it. He just keeps telling me he's fine just busy. I know he's busy, but it's the fine part I'm not so convinced about. Things are different now because I know he wants more and he knows I can't give it to him.

Now I have no idea what to do.

"Savannah!"

"What?" I look over at Mikayla and blink a few times. "Oh sorry."

"It's fine," she laughs. "You looked like your brain was going to explode. Is something wrong?"

Yes. "No, I'm okay." I smile at her and go back to homework. She obviously isn't convinced, but she does the same. After another hour her story is well on its way and we decide to go home. It's Thursday, which means only one more day until the weekend. In last period today Harry didn't look at me once and when I texted him he looked at the text and put his phone in his bag. I mean, he knows I can see him. That's a pretty clear message.

Once I'm home Mason comes running down the stairs. He practically collides with me, sliding across the tile in front of me.

"What the hell are you doing?" I ask, setting my bag on the floor. He comes back to me and takes my hand, running and pulling me with him towards the backyard. "Mason, what is going on?"

We get outside and I rip my hand out of his. He turns around and smiles.

"I have a surprise for you."

"What are you talking about?"

He looks to his left and I slowly follow his gaze, my mouth dropping open when I see the surprise he was clearly referring to.

"Hey, Sav."

"Carter!" I run and jump into his arms, hugging him tight. He laughs and pats my back a few times. When I release him I put my hands on either side of his face. "We missed you!"

"I missed you too," he says, smiling down at me. I can't help but hug him again. Mason and I have known Carter our entire lives. He lives across the street with his parents and three other brothers. Our families always used to spend time together and when my parents went AWOL his kind of took me and Mason in. We would eat dinner with them a lot and if there was ever any problem at our house we would go to his dad. They're our surrogate family, I guess. Carter is the third of four boys. The youngest is our age, but I always got along better with Carter, who is two years older than us. Mason is close with him too, but not like I am. He moved to North Carolina for school; he got a full ride to play basketball at Duke.

"You're such an ass!" I shout, pulling back and punching him in the stomach.

"What! Why?"

"You haven't been home in forever!" I accuse. He laughs and tucks me under his shoulder, walking back towards Mason.

"I know, I know. But I'm home now, so let's have some fun."

"Why are you home?" Mason asks. "Don't you have practice?"

He shrugs. "It's not a big deal. I'm eating here tonight, what are we having?"

"You're the chef," I remind him. "You know me and Mase don't cook so I think the question is what are you making us."

"Looks like we're going to the store, then. I'm making your favourite: chicken parmesan."

Going to the grocery store isn't high on my list of priorities but I go with him anyway. We walk through the store and he picks everything out that he'll need. I don't know anything about cooking, but he does so I just let him pick stuff out while I push the shopping cart. We turn down the sauce aisle and my heart skips when I see that curly head of hair that makes my insides melt.

"That's one of my teachers," I tell Carter, pointing to Harry. He's got a basket on his elbow and he's reading the label of some can. Carter takes a quick look and nods.

"He's new? He wasn't there when I graduated."

"Yeah, he just started this year." He nods and picks something up, reading the back. "I think I'm going to go say hi."

He laughs a little and shrugs. "Okay, go ahead. I'll just be here."

I leave the cart with him and walk down towards Harry. He keeps his eyes on the label in front of him and I can't help but think about how adorable he looks concentrating on it.

"Mr. Styles?" He jumps and looks up at me, smiling when he sees my face. He steps towards me but I put my hand up. "I'm here with someone."

He nods and keeps a fair distance. "Are you coming over later?"

"I probably can but...." I turn and look at Carter, who isn't paying attention. "Harry, this week you've been acting weird and if you don't want to see me that's fine but can you just tell me?"

He looks a little surprised and after a minute he smiles. "You think I don't want to see you?" What is funny about that? I shrug and he takes a step closer to me. "Trust me, I do." He looks over my shoulder and steps back again. I turn and see Carter coming up beside me. He holds his hand out to Harry, whose expression immediately hardens.

"Hey man, I'm Carter." Harry hesitantly takes his hand and I can see that it's quite the firm handshake.

"Harry," he says lowly. He looks at me for a moment and I think I can feel myself shrink a little from it. "If you'll excuse me, I should get going." With that he steps around me, brushing my shoulder as he goes.

"He seems nice," Carter says sarcastically. "What does he teach?"

"English. What else do we need?"

Carter rambles off a bunch of things and I try really hard to be here with him, but it's really difficult with what Harry just did. He's probably thinking the exact wrong thing about me and Carter. I just want to go see him and work all of this out, but obviously I can't do that now.

When Carter and I get back to the house Mason and I sit at the island while he gets to work on dinner. He tells us tons of crazy stories about college. Mason has always looked up to Carter way more than anyone else I know. Carter is his idol, kind of the way a father would be if we had one that stuck around.

"Kylie? Really?" Mason nods and Carter looks at me for reassurance. "Is he serious?"

"Unfortunately, he is." Mason elbows me and I laugh. "What! It's weird for me, you know that."

"Yeah, but still," he mumbles. Carter looks between us and shakes his head.

"So you're dating your twin sister's best friend? Bro, that is going to get so complicated. And that sucks for you," he says, pointing to me with his knife. "You shouldn't have agreed to this."

"What's the big deal?" Mason asks.

"The big deal is that any time you guys have an issue Sav is going to be stuck right in the middle of it. And what if you guys break up? What is she supposed to do then?"

"Well it's a little late now," I butt in. I don't want them to argue about this when I'm finally okay with it. "Any females for you, Carter?"

He laughs and shakes his head. "I was seeing this girl but she hooked up with another guy on the team so that didn't really work out."

"Well that sucks," I say, leaning my chin on my hand. My phone lights up with a text and I quickly pick it up so Mason can't see it's from Harry. It's short and to the point, asking when I'll be at his place. When, not if. "Carter, are you going to your parents' place tonight?"

He shrugs. "Probably. Why?"

"Just wondering what the plan is...I kind of have to go somewhere."

"Yeah, Sav is- ow! What?"

I jabbed him in the side, signalling for him not to say anything. I shake my head and he rolls his eyes but keeps his mouth shut. I look back to Carter and smile, but he clearly knows something is up.

"I'll pretend I didn't see any of that," he says, shaking his head at me. Thank goodness. We continue filling each other in on stuff that has happened since the last time Carter was home, which was a really long time ago since he didn't come home over summer holidays. I also realized that I've been really wrapped up in Harry; a lot of the things Mason talks about are news to me as well. That's probably not good.

We just sit and eat in the kitchen together and before I know it it's getting close to nine o'clock. I hadn't even been paying attention to the time.

"Shit, I really have to go." I hope Harry isn't angry with me.

"It's getting late and we have school tomorrow," Mason says as I stand and start walking out of the kitchen. "Plus Carter is here. Just stay home."

"I can't, Mase. I won't be home late I promise." I quickly give Carter a hug. "We better be hanging out again."

"You bet," he agrees. I wave to both of them and quickly go upstairs to change into something more comfortable before going out to my car and driving to Harry's loft. When I get there someone is exiting the building, so I go up without buzzing his number. I knock a few times and wait impatiently. What is taking so long? I try turning the knob, surprised to find that it's locked. That's weird. He must not be here. Well, wherever he is, he knows I was planning on coming over. I decide to just wait here for him to get back. I try calling a few times but he doesn't answer. I'm really confused at this point, but I'm sure everything is fine.

After forty five minutes I'm still sitting outside his door, leaning against the wall and playing a game on my phone. I feel really pathetic just sitting outside his home but...now I've waited this long, so I might as well just stay until he either calls me back or comes home. Someone rounds the corner and I get really excited, but then I realize it's not Harry and my heart drops. Damn. I smile at the guy and he stops one door down and across the hall from Harry's.

"Waiting for someone?" he asks, digging through his pocket for his keys.

"Yeah. Do you know Harry?"

"I've talked to him a few times. Are you his girlfriend? If you are, he talks about you a lot." He smiles and sets his bags down so he can keep looking. I blush and look away from him, not really sure how to respond do that. He finally finds his keys and pushes it into the lock.

"Do you know when he left by any chance?" I ask him. He shakes his head.

"Sorry, no. You're welcome to come wait for him in here if you want. I'm sure my couch is more comfortable than the floor." He smiles warmly and gestures to his apartment. I almost take him up, but then I realize it would be really sketchy and Harry probably wouldn't appreciate that.

"I'm okay. I'm sure he'll be back soon," I respond politely.

"Suit yourself. Have a good night."

"Yeah, you too." I smile at him as he disappears into his place. I lean my head back against the door, closing my eyes and trying to convince myself to stay. I want to see him. But this is getting ridiculous, let's be honest.

I wait another ten minutes and start feeling really tired and annoyed, so I call Harry once more, walking to the end of the hall and looking out the window onto the street. It rings a few times and wen I'm about to hang up I can suddenly hear his phone ringing. I turn around and start walking back towards the door and when I get in front of it Harry appears, rounding the corner into this hallway. He continues walking this way and I watch him. Not walking, stumbling.

"Harry?" He slowly looks up, smiling lazily at me. Is he drunk?

"Look who it is," he says slowly, gesturing to me with a sweeping motion. He walks up and wraps his arms around my neck, hugging my head to his chest and leaning most of his weight on me. He smells like alcohol.

"Where have you been? I've been waiting for you," I say against his chest. He eventually releases me, taking both my hands in his and swinging them back and forth. He's being so adorable right now and it's really hard not to laugh.

"I was thirsty so I went to get a drink."

"A drink? Or five?"

He shrugs. "I didn't think it'd matter since you," he taps my nose, "had someone else to spend your time with."

"What? Harry, I told you I was going to come over tonight."

"Yeah, but then I saw you with that other guy," he says, waving his hand around in the air. "And then you didn't text me back. But you don't even want to be with me so it's fine! Doesn't matter!" He throws his hands in the air and steps around me. Don't want to be with him?

I turn around to see him turning the handle and walking face first into the door. My hand flies to my mouth to keep from laughing out loud and he steps back, rubbing his forehead and staring at the door in confusion.

"It's locked," I giggle. He turns and smiles at me, laughing to himself as well. He holds up one finger and sticks his hands in his pockets to pull out his keys. After trying with two that are clearly wrong, I take them out of his hands. He leans against the doorframe beside me and I push open the door.

"Come on, let's get you upstairs." I take his hand and pull him inside, shutting the door behind me. I lead him over to the staircase but he pulls his hand back and stops. "What? What's wrong?"

"Why don't you want me?" he asks sadly.

"Why would you-"

"Don't deny it!" he says loudly. I flinch a little and my eyes go wide. "You don't want to be here, not really. Last weekend I wanted to like...I don't know, but you said you want to slow down...I want to be with you...maybe you don't like me." His hand suddenly goes to the top of his head. "Where's my hat?"

"Your hat?"

"Yes. Like this." He puts his fingers together and puts his hands around his head. His expression goes from serious to amused when I start laughing. "You think that's funny?"

"Harry," I warn, putting up my hand when he starts walking towards me. I don't like the devious look in his eyes. He smiles and lunges forward. I squeal and laugh as I bolt up the stairs with Harry's heavy footsteps behind me.

"No where to run," Harry taunts. I run to the other side of the bed and spin around. He walks calmly towards me.

"Stop," I tell him, trying to be stern. I can't help but laugh at him; his hair a giant mess, crooked smile, devious eyes. He's perfect. He continues to come towards me and when he gets to the side of the bed I jump up on it, walking across the sheets. He suddenly grabs my ankle, taking my feet from under me and making me fall on my stomach. I turn over and try to squirm away but he holds both my ankles, pulling me towards him.

"See, we could have fun," he says quietly. He pulls me more to the edge and puts my legs on his waist. I lock them there as he climbs onto the bed with one hand on either side of me.

"We do have fun," I agree. I don't want to have this conversation while he's drunk.

"It's pretty nice when we kiss," he continues, looking down at my lips. "And I miss you when you're not here."

I reach up and put one hand again his cheek, caressing his skin with my thumb. His eyes bore into mine and he leans into my touch.

"I don't want to talk about this right now," I say quietly.

"Why?"

"Because you've been drinking. We can talk tomorrow, okay?" I drop my hand and move from underneath him, half sitting up against the headboard. He throws his shirt on the floor and kicks his shoes off before joining me on the bed, crawling on top of me and wrapping his arms around my waist. He lays his head on my stomach and I put on hand on his back, the other slowly and repeatedly brushing through his hair.

"Is it because of Charlie?" he asks after a while, not lifting his head to look at me. Charlie?

"Who?"

"The guy from the store. How many more guys do I have to compete with?"

"You mean Carter? You don't have to worry about him," I assure him. He sighs. "You're not competing with anyone, trust me."

We stay in this position for a while and I continually stroke his hair to comfort him. I had no idea Harry was feeling so...threatened? Insecure? Whatever it is, he obviously is under the impression that I'm not interested in him anymore or something. Or that he's not the only person I'm seeing. How is that even possible? Does he not realize like..who he is or what he looks like? As if I could be seeing someone besides him.

I know that I don't want anyone else, but that isn't the problem. The problem isn't even not trusting Harry, because I do. Completely. It's that I don't know how to show him that, or if I even want to. I don't want to let my guard down because odds are he's going to realize that he's too good for me and leave. I need to be protected when that happens instead of being smashed into a thousand little pieces, left alone to clean up the mess.

"Harry, we have school tomorrow. You should go to sleep," I say quietly, leaning to the side so I can see his face. He opens his tired eyes and sighs deeply.

"Sleep here," he rasps, tightening his grip on my waist.

"I can't, all my stuff is at home," I argue. I want to, especially since he seems like he needs that reassurance.

"You weren't wearing that today, just stay here. You can get your brother to bring your school stuff for you." I sigh and contemplate the offer. "Please? I've missed you."

My heart swells at his words and I can't help but smile. Whenever he says that he misses me....I feel like I could die happy. That's how good he makes me feel. Whenever I'm with Harry I feel so wanted and cared for and...loved. I know we're not there yet but that's how amazing it is to be around him. He makes me feel special.

"Okay," I agree. He lifts his head and smiles at me.

"Really?"

"Yes," I laugh. He sits up and kneels in front of my, holding my face in his hands. I smile up at him and he playfully rubs his nose against mine.

"I even have a new toothbrush you can use. How convenient." He kisses me quickly and hops off the bed. "Do you want something to sleep in?"

"That would be nice." I watch him move around his room excitedly, cleaning up his clothes and getting new ones out for me. He hands me a large shirt and some boxers, jumping across my legs and landing on the bed. He turns onto his back and shimmies out of his jeans, which is a struggle considering how tight he wears his pants when he's not at school. He looks good in skinny jeans, I have to say. When they're finally off he chucks them on the floor.

"That was a struggle," I observe, laughing a little. He rolls over my legs and up my body. "Harry, you're squishing me!"

"Oops, I didn't see you there," he says playfully. I moves to lay beside me. "Go change. I'm sleepy."

I laugh and get off the bed to go to the bathroom. I pull off my clothes and fold them up to leave them on the counter for in the morning. I pull Harry's shirt over my head and reach for the boxers, but decide not to put them on. The shirt pretty much covers my ass, so it's innocent enough. I shut the light off and walk out into the bedroom, where Harry has already shut off all the lights. I stumble through the dark room and find the edge of the bed, crawling in and feeling beside me for Harry's body. I find his arm and lift it up over my head, snuggling into his side.

"Do you need some water or something?" I ask, wrapping my leg around his. I reach across his body to find his hand, lacing my fingers with his on his stomach.

"No, I'm okay. You're sobering me up." He kisses my forehead. "Looks like you passed on those boxers," he laughs. I trace the lines of his tattoo for a few minutes before he speaks again.

"I'm sorry I did that," he whispers. "It was dumb."

"I'm sorry I drove you to alcoholism," I joke. He laughs and turns onto his side, shuffling down so our faces are level. He rests his hand on my bare thigh, pulling my leg further up on his hip.

"Can I ask you something?" I nod and he slowly slides his hand over my hip and up my side. "I don't need you to commit your entire life to me," he says, smiling to make the conversation lighthearted. "I just...I need to know that this is going somewhere. I care about you a lot and if this is just physical for you-"

"It's not," I say firmly. I reach up and put my palm against his cheek. "I know I freaked you out last weekend. This is new for me."

"Then we'll take it slow. You know," he puts his hand on my back and pulls me closer, pushing our bodies together, "I think I'd like to take you on a proper date."

I smile deeply at him. "I would love that, but how is that possible?"

"We go out of town," he says simply. "If we're going to see what this could be like we need to do something normal instead of hiding out in my apartment."

"Where would you take me?" I ask quietly, wrapping my arm around his waist. He smiles and looks over my head in thought. Going away with Harry...I love that idea.

"Some place romantic," he rasps, smiling at me. "It would probably be a surprise."

"I like surprises."

Harry presses his lips to mine and my body reacts immediately, pressing further against him. He slowly rolls on top of me and I wrap both my arms around him. He's so...strong. It's different than like a football player or something from school. Harry is a man, not a boy. He's all man and it's so sexy.

"Maybe we should just skip school and run away tomorrow," he says, lips trailing to my neck. I bite my lip and tangle one hand into his hair.

"That sounds amazing right now," I agree. He chuckles and lifts his head.

"I wish I didn't have to hide you," he says, brushing the back of his fingers along my cheek. I close my eyes and he kisses me softly again. After a moment he rolls off of me, keeping his arm around me to hold me tight to him. "Goodnight, love."

Who knew one person could make me so happy?

Notes

so the website stopped working for me for like two hours and i was FREAKING OUT. it was not cool. it was like a fatal error or something and i was like HELL NO the site is not broken i was going crazy. but then it started working again :P

i had something else to say to you guys but i completely forgot....ill let you know if it comes to me :P

also i hope you all found the middle part funny when harry is a tad tipsy. i thought it was enteertaining :P i imagine Harry being hilarious and completely goofy when he's drunk haha he would probably be so cute

aaaaan last but not least please tell me what you think :) the comments have been amazing so far and i appreciate it more than i can say

comment, vote and subscribe :)
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thanks so much for reading everyone :)