Friday November 9th

"Don't be nervous, you're going to do fine," I said to Mikayla, taking a scoop from my yogurt. She ran up to me today at the beginning of lunch and begged me to help her study for a test. It was for science, not english, but she said she had no one else to ask and she really needed the help. I do okay in sciences so I agreed.

"I'm freaking out. I need to do well on this test," she says, staring down at a diagram of a cell.

"Not that I'm not happy to help, but couldn't your friends help you study? Someone in your science class?" I ask carefully. She bites her lip and doesn't look up at me.

"I don't really have any," she admits quietly. My mouth drops open and I quickly recover.

"What do you mean? How is that possible?"

She shrugs. "I don't like kids here. I'm not like them." I continue to stare at her and she sighs slightly before continuing. "I'm here on scholarship. I live with my grandparents, they could never afford a school like this. I want to be a lawyer, so I wanted to be in a private school instead of public so I could get into an Ivy League. I'm not rich like everyone else here. I just don't get along with the kids in my grade."

"Mikayla, not everyone here is like that. There are the snobby ones, trust me, but not all of the kids that go here are horrible. I'm not so bad, am I?" I ask, smiling at her. She looks up and her cheeks turn red.

"I didn't mean you."

"I'm not the only one that's not a spoiled brat. Talk to people, try to find the good ones. High school would be unbearable alone. Don't shut yourself off."

"I'll try," she agrees quietly.

"Do you need anything else? We have another ten minutes before class."

"Yeah, could you quiz me on this page?"

---

"Anyway, I told him that it wasn't going to happen but he just insisted. Ryan definitely still likes you," Madi says as we walk into our creative writing class. My heart drops a little when I don't see Harry sitting at his desk like he usually is. "Are you seeing someone right now? I heard something happened with you and Troy after the dance."

She nudges me as we sit down and I grimace at the memory, or lack there of. Troy and I really haven't talked about it much since the weekend...we said were going to see what happens and not make a big deal out of it. He also said that he would be fine with staying friends or being more so I'm thinking....why have the awkward conversation if we don't need to? I think we said everything there is to say. If I actually start dating Harry, which I haven't, then I'll tell him nothing can happen. Until then I think it's unnecessary.

When I don't answer Madi's inquisition she continues taking. I don't think she actually cares if you listen to her, she just likes to hear herself talk. I watch the door impatiently, waiting for Harry to show up. I pull my phone out of my bag and text Mikayla to see how her test went. As I'm hitting send I hear the door close and when I look up Harry is setting a stack of papers on his desk. He looks stressed out and rushed.

"Sorry I'm late everyone," he says, setting his things down and getting himself ready for lesson. I watch him carefully and wait for him to look up. He runs his hand through his hair and my insides twist watching the motion. I'm sure every other girl in here feels the same way. As his hand gets to the back of his head he looks up, his eyes immediately finding mine. I smile slightly and wink at him slyly. He attempts to hide his smile as he looks back down at his stuff.

"He is so hot," Madi whispers. "I could actually cry. It's so unfair! I wonder if he has a girlfriend. What a lucky bitch that would be."

I laugh and look back at him. "Yeah, she would be."

Harry picks up a paper and walks around his desk. "Alright so, I would like to go over few things for the test next week. It's going to be about the basic structures and characteristics for writing short stories. There aren't going to be many questions, but there will be one longer question at the end. I'll give you a specific topic to write about and certain elements you have to include and you do the rest. Any questions?" He looks around and no one says anything so he continues. "Alright, then. We skipped the quiz yesterday so today there's going to be a longer assignment for your reading assignment."

He turns and leans over to get the stack of papers, the muscles in his back prominent through the thin material of his shirt. He turns around and I bite my lip. He starts handing out the papers and when he gets to me and Madi's desks his eyes go wide when he looks at my mouth.

He quickly recovers and clears his throat. "You can start any time."

The class gets to work and I look down at my lap to check my texts. Mikayla messaged me back and said she thinks she got an A. I smile and congratulate her.

"Savannah, you wouldn't be using a phone would you?" I look up at Harry and stare at him. He smirks at me and leans back in his chair. "I've been explicit about my disallowance of cell phone use in my class."

"I umm...I wasn't using my phone." I give him a 'really?' look and he smiles.

"Oh, so you were smiling at your lap then?" he asks cheekily. The class snickers and my face goes a tinge red. "Bring it up here, please."

I stare at him for a moment before slowly standing and walking towards the front of the room. I stand in front of his desk and raise my eyebrows at him. He holds out his hand with an annoyingly adorable smile and I quickly type a message for him before handing it over. I watch as he reads the message, eyes going wide and smile disappearing. He looks back up at me and tries not to laugh. I turn and walk back to my seat, eyeing him as I sit back down. He shakes his head slightly and I smile as I look back down at my paper.

"What the hell was that?" Madi whispers.

"What?" I ask innocently. "Nothing, what do you mean?"

"That was weird," she says, going back to her assignment. I shrug and do mine as well. Harry and I have had some random innocent moments during class, small arguments or him scolding me. He says he needs to make sure I'm just as disciplined as the rest so no one gets suspicious, but I think he just enjoys teasing me when I can't really say anything about it.

When there's ten minutes left he says we can leave early. He seems really stressed out today He smiles half-heartedly as he says 'goodbye' and 'have a good weekend' to the students walking by.

"You coming?" Madi asks, putting her bag over her shoulder. I look at Harry, head resting in his hands. Aww.

"I umm..I have a question for Mr. Stlyes about the test," I excuse. She shrugs and walks out of the room. I walk up to his desk and put the strapg of my bag across my body. "Rough day?"

He sighs and looks up at me, balling his hands together in front of his mouth. "Yeah."

"Did something happen?"

"No, I've just had a crazy week," he says, rubbing his eyes.

"Yeah, you look exhausted. I look at the door to make sure no one is standing around it and then back to him. "Why don't I come over and make you dinner? We can relax and have a quiet night."

He smiles and leans back in his chair. "That sounds perfect."

"Okay, I'll come over around six?"

"Alright." I smile and start walking to the door. "Savannah, you forgot something." I turn and he holds my phone out to me.

"Right, thanks for that by the way."

"And thank you for the little message you wrote me," he says. I take my phone and laugh, looking down at my screen. I had written that he looks sexy in his teacher clothes, but I like him better in his boxers. My eyes go wide when I see what he wrote in response.

Wait til you see me with them off ;)

He chuckles and my face goes red as I stuff my phone in my pocket. I shake my head and laugh nervously at him. Normally I wouldn't be nervous about something like that, but this is the first time it's meant this much to me. We haven't had sex yet and the longer we wait the more nervous I get.

"Get your ass out of my classroom," he says lowly, teasing me. I roll my eyes and wave to him as I walk out of the room. I go to my locker where my brother is waiting for me. We're not fighting anymore; he agreed to get off my back about my relationship until I'm ready to talk about it. Mason and Kylie hang out all the time, so it's easy for me to get away to Harrys. That combined with my tutoring with Mikayla give me easy ways of escaping. I've been at his place every night this week.

When Mason and I get home we go to his bedroom. He and Kylie have their first official date tonight and he's so nervous. He wants me to help him pick out what to wear. I dump my stuff in my room and go back to his.

"So what are you guys doing tonight?" I ask, shuffling through the clothes hanging in his closet.

"We're going to that sushi place she likes, the one downtown. Then I think I might take her minigolfing."

"Oh my gosh, she's going to love that, Mason." I take out my top three choices and lay them on the bed. He examines them and I take out some pants as well. Jeans should be fine. "I really like this red one on you," I suggest, holding up a red button-up shirt.

"It's a little dressy, isn't it?"

"Wear it undone with a white t-shirt underneath. Kylie likes that, trust me. I would know." I try not to get weirded out by this whole situation, but it must be clear that I'm uncomfortable because Mason starts laughing at me.

"You don't have to help me with this," he says.

"It's fine. Wear it, trust me." I toss the stuff on the bed and ruffle his hair before walking back to my bedroom.

"Are you going to hang out with Troy tonight?"

I jump and turn around, not aware that Mason followed me in here. "Umm I don't know. Was I supposed to?"

"He said he was going to ask you," he says, sitting himself in one of my chairs. "He didn't talk to you about it today?"

"No, I barely saw him all day. Besides, I can't tonight." He nods in understanding and doesn't ask what I'm doing thank goodness. "Do you umm...do you want me to clear out tonight?"

"Why?"

"So you two can umm..have the place to yourself."

His eyes go wide with understanding and I cringe a little at the thought. He laughs nervously and stands up, scratching the back of his head.

"Don't worry about it."

So that would be a yes. "Alright, I won't be home tonight."

"Where are you going to stay?"

I shrug. "With a friend."

"Are you sure? Is that not extremely weird to do for me?"

"Extremely," I agree. We both laugh and I sit on my bed. "It's fine, though. Have fun tonight."

"I will. You too."

---

"You look comfortable," Harry says, eyeing me up and down when he opens the door. He steps to the side and I peck his lips as I walk past him. "What's all that?"

I dump the grocery bags on the counter as he saunters over to me.

"This is all the things I will need to make you dinner. Don't expect anything fancy, though. I'm not very skilled in the kitchen."

"I could have cooked," he says, helping me unload the bag.

"Harry, the point of a relaxing is for you to not do anything. So that would kind of defeat the purpose."

"What is this?" he asks, taking out a few bottles.

"I umm...I brought some massage oils and bath salts and stuff," I admit quietly, concentrating on unpacking and inspecting all the groceries. He chuckles and pus his arm around my waist from beside me.

"Bath salts?" he asks quietly, leaning his forehead against the side of my head. I nod and try to control my breathing. "That's interesting."

"I thought they would be relaxing for you," I say quietly. Bath salts and some bubble bath. I did bring them for him; they're from my brother and they're different from my usual scents so I thought I'd bring them here. He can use them for himself...or for us...

"I'm the opposite of relaxed thinking about using them," he whispers, kissing the skin below my ear. I lean my head to the side and he positions his body behind mine, continuing to leave slow and torturous kisses all over the side of my neck.

"You're distracting me, I breathe, leaning back into his body. "Aren't you hungry?"

"Mhmm."

"Okay." I step to the side and escape his grip. He laughs and puts his hands up.

"Alright, fine. I'll behave while you cook," he says, walking towards me. I press myself into the counter and he puts his hands on my waist. "But after dinner you're all mine."

"I'm okay with that." I smile and he leans down to kiss me, lingering longer than I expected. I laugh against his mouth and put my hands on his chest to push him back. He smiles and kisses all over my face before backing away and letting me cook. He leans against the counter beside where I'm chopping vegetables.

"What are you making?"

"Nachos."

He laughs. "That's simple enough."

"Hey, I told you I'm not chef!" I defend.

He kisses my cheek. "I love nachos."

"Good. So why was your week so stressful?" I ask, taking out a pan and preheating the oven. I spread the nacho chips on it and spread some cheese and the vegetables over them.

"I had staff meetings almost every day and all my classes are busy. I had to grade papers for both my english classes and make the test for tuesday for your class. Plus I had to keep up with my lesson plans."

"Wow. If you were so busy why didn't you tell me? I wouldn't have come over so much, I was just a distraction for you."

"What? Of course you're not. I wanted you here. I would have gone insane without you."

My face flushes and I can't help but smile at his words. He's so sweet and he doesn't even try to be. I continue working on the nachos and when they're done I stick them in the oven. I walk over to where he's leaning against the counter, wrapping my arms around his neck and leaning into him.

"That's really sweet of you, but I think I was a distraction. You've been insanely busy and I've been hogging all of your time." he puts his arms around me and shakes his head.

"I like it when you hog my time." He smiles and kisses me for a moment. "But next week is going to be the same so I'm probably actually going to have to work while you're here."

"Harry, if you're that busy I don't have to be here."

"Yes you do."

"Why?" I laugh. He smiles.

"I like it better when you're here. It's weird being here on my own. It's too quiet, I don't like it." He scrunches up his nose and I giggle at him.

"You're so cute." I kiss his nose and step away from him, going to get some wine glasses. "So umm..Mason and Kylie are going on a date tonight."

"Are they? Is that weird for you?" He moves to the wine rack and selects a bottle of white.

"I guess a little, but I'm getting used to it. But I kind of offered to give them the house to themselves for the night." My voice is quiet and I feel unsure of myself. I set the wine glasses on the kitchen table and he winds the corkscrew into the top of the bottle, watching me carefully.

"So...where are you staying?" he asks, pulling the cork out.

"I was hoping maybe I could stay with you."

He smiles and fills each glass. "I would love that."

When the nachos are ready we eat in front of the TV watching Modern Family. At one point I laugh so hard I spit out my wine. Good thing he has hardwood floors. He laughs and runs to the kitchen to get a towel to clean it up. I can't stop laughing the whole time.

"You have an adorable laugh," he says, sitting beside me again and putting his arm around my shoulder.

"I know." I laugh again and he shakes his head at me with the biggest smile on his face. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I was....nothing." He looks at the Tv and pulls me closer, eyes trained on the screen while he kisses the top of my head. I stare up at him for a moment before looking at the screen as well. Whatever he was talking about is quickly erased from my mind when I pay attention to the show. When it's over my stomach is sore from laughing and my head is on Harry's lap. He plays with my hair and flicks the TV off.

"Why'd you do that?"

"What?"

"I want to watch more!" I argue, pointing at the TV. He laughs and throws the remote onto the table. "Seriously, it's hilarious."

"I know. But we watched six episodes and I want to talk to you." He leans down and kisses me quickly.

"What do you want to talk about?"

"Talk or...use the bath salts," he says lowly, placing his hand on my expose stomach. My face turns red and I sit up and turn to face him.

"You know, there's probably something we should do before we use those," I respond, putting my legs on either side of his and lowering myself onto his lap. He slides his hand up my legs and over my hips. We've waited long enough...I don't even know what's a normal amount of time to wait for that anymore.

"You're probably right," he agrees. I lean down to kiss him but he stops me. "I'm sorry, I just...we should talk about something first."

"Umm...okay?"

"What are we doing here? I know you don't want to talk about this but before we...do anything I feel like we should."

Holy hell...I was not expecting this. I was kind of hoping me and Harry could do a friends with benefits kind of thing for a while and tackle this subject when I figured out what I wanted. This is intense.

"Shit, I didn't mean to freak you out," he says, closing his eyes. "I'm sorry."

"No, it's fine. I guess we should talk about that..."

We sit in uncomfortable silence for a few minutes and I just play with his hair. I have no idea what to say right now. I care about Harry but I don't know if I'm ready for this. I guess what we're doing is kind of like a relationship..we talk about everything and we make out and stuff a lot.

"Okay, I know this is weird for you but I'm going to start freaking out if you don't say something," he says, laughing nervously.

"I'm sorry, I just wasn't really expecting this. I don't know what to say."

"Well...what do you think about this? About us?" he asks, placing his hands on my legs. I might have an aneurism or something right now.

"I haven't really thought about it," I admit quietly. "I kind of like where we are right now."

"Where exactly is that?"

"I don't know, why do we need to label it?"

He sighs and nods his head slowly. "You're not ready." I shake my head slightly and he smiles half-heartedly. "It's fine."

Yeah, I get the sense that it's not. After a minute I climb off of him and sit on the couch beside him. I don't want to make him feel like I'm leaving or using him or something, but I'm just not ready for this conversation. I don't know what we're doing. I know he means a lot to me and that I don't want this to end, but it doesn't go much farther than that for me right now.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, playing with my hands. "I just..I need to take this slow."

"I understand," he says, putting his hand on my leg. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up."

He stands and brings the glasses and win bottle to the kitchen. Shit. It's not exactly awkward in here..but it's definitely not comfortable. I guess we aren't having sex tonight. I watch as he starts cleaning up dinner, standing and walking over to help him. He washes dishes and smiles as he hands me one to dry. We work in silence and I can't help but wonder what he's thinking. I don't want him to feel bad.

"Harry, you're not mad at me are you?" I ask when I put the last dish away.

"Why would I be angry?" he asks, emptying the sink and wiping the counter.

"What I said before...you wanted to talk and I just...I don't know. I'm not making sense." I hang up the towel and run my fingers through my hair. I'm so bad at this.

"Baby, I'm not mad at you," he says, grabbing my arm and spinning me around. "I get it, this is a lot for you."

"You do?"

"Of course. It's actually kind of late. Do you want to just go to sleep?" he asks, pointing upstairs.

"Sure."

He smiles and takes my hand to lead me upstairs, turning off the lights as we go. When we get upstairs I jump onto the bed, unaware of how tired I actually was. He chuckles and when I open my eyes he's stepping out of his pants and pulling off his shirt. Oh goodness. He flicks off the light and roughly tugs the covers from under me. I laugh and he crawls over to me, pulling the covers over both of us. He lays on his back and I curl up against his side, running my finger over his tattoos.

"I'm not mad," he says, kissing the top of my head.

"I feel bad," I whisper. "It's unfair to you."

"It's not, I'm fine. I know this stuff is hard for you so I'm not going to push it. Whenever you're ready you can come to me, alright?" He kisses the top of my head again and I pull my leg over his.

"Goodnight, Harry."

"I like that you're sleeping here," he says, putting his hand over mine that's resting on his stomach.

"Me too."

I really do. I love being here, it feels so normal. Honestly, I can't think of anywhere I'd rather be.

Notes

double update wooooooooh
im so frikken tired its ridiculous so all i have to say is this:

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