Mistreated
Disapprove
Sunday February 9th
Harry’s POV:
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Iris greeted me at the door of her house.
“Well, hello to you too,” I joked.
“Sorry, I’m just nervous,” she stated as she pulled me into a hug. As I returned the gesture, the bouquet of flowers I held made a crinkling noise as it pressed against her back. “What is that?” she asked as she pulled away.
“They may or may not be a bribery for your mother,” I chuckled. Last night, Iris’s mum called her home and suggested I come over for dinner tonight. So here I am, nervous as hell, but it appears Iris is more stressed out than I am.
She stepped out of the doorway to allow me to come into her house. “Well, you’re definitely getting points from the nature freak,” she said, trying to whisper as she did so. She’s so cute when she tries to whisper since she doesn’t realize she’s still talking in a regular voice. I guess to her it sounds like she’s speaking softly.
“Who are you calling a nature freak?” Mrs. Mercer smirked as she entered the room.
Iris playfully hit my chest, “You’re supposed to tell me when I’m speaking too loud.”
I kissed her cheek, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I walked over to Mrs. Mercer and held the irises out to her, “These are for you, Ma’am.”
“Ma’am? That seems so formal. I like it,” she gave me a look of approval as she took the flowers from me. “Oh, these flowers are so lovely. Are these irises?”
I nodded with a wide grin on my face, “My favorite flowers.”
Iris raised my arm and placed it around her neck before snaking her arms around my waist to side hug me. “You’re so cheesy,” she giggled.
“You love it,” I teased before pressing a kiss onto her temple.
“Well, dinner is already on the table. Why don’t you guys join the family in the dining room? I’ll be there in a minute, after I put these flowers in a vase,” Mrs. Mercer smiled.
As Iris and I made our way over to the dining room, I couldn’t help but feel like I could’ve done more to impress her mother. Maybe I should’ve told her how great she looked today. Is that too forward or too much? It’s just that I’ve never stayed over for dinner at any of my girlfriend’s houses. With Riley, she just gave us a brief introduction and then I hardly ever saw her parents again. In fact, that was pretty much how it was with all my exes.
It’s different with Iris. I wanted to do this because I have no intentions of ever breaking up with Iris, and now that her family actually seems to be making an effort to be there for her, I wanted to make an effort to get to know them.
“Hello Harry,” Mr. Mercer stands up from his seat to greet me with a handshake.
“Hello Sir,” I smile and gladly accepted the gesture.
“Please sit,” he points to the empty chairs to the left of him.
I pulled Iris’s chair out for her, earning a smile from her as she sat down in it, and then I pushed her in before taking the seat between her and her father. Brielle sat at the end of the table with Skye sitting to her left. On the table was a big bowl of salad and a basket of bread. Mrs. Mercer came in with a platter containing the star of the meal, but I couldn’t tell what it was.
Mrs. Mercer set the dish onto the table and took the seat next to Skye and across from me. “I hope you like Enchiladas,” she smiled.
“I’m not sure I’ve ever had them before,” I admitted. “It looks and smells amazing.”
“Thank you,” she smiled. “Well, dig in everyone.”
I wasn’t sure if I should immediately take something. Is that rude? Am I supposed to help Iris put food on her plate? I seriously have no idea what I’m doing. I just smiled at everyone and allowed them all to fill up their plates first.
Once everyone passed around the salad, Iris handed it to me with a small smile playing on her lips. I could tell she was still nervous about this. Her anxiety was stressing me out because it made me feel like her parents will probably disapprove of me. I’m honestly not even sure what Iris is so scared of, and it’s worrying me.
Soon, we all had our plates filled and began nibbling at our food. No one spoke, the air filling with nothing but an awkward silence. Nobody knows what to say. Everyone just peered at each other and gave each other light smiles. I was honestly scared to look at Mr. and Mrs. Mercer while the discomfort clouded my mind. Should I say something? Break the ice?
“So, how is school?” Mr. Mercer finally spoke up. Thank God.
I shrugged, “It’s alright. Our principal is still there, so it’s kind of hard to enjoy it.” The principal…I just had to bring him up. He takes part in what I haven’t told Iris yet. Although, he doesn’t make me regret what I did considering he’s been eyeing my girlfriend.
Not only was I uncomfortable with the subject, but I could tell everyone else was, making things awkward, yet again. Good going Harry, way to make an impression.
“Did I tell you guys I’m going to be in the school talent show?” Iris changed the subject. I shot her a smile and squeezed her thigh in appreciation for saving me.
“No you didn’t,” Skye shook her head. “What are you going to do?”
“Dance,” Iris answered. “I’ve been practicing with Eleanor after school.”
“So that’s where you’ve been,” Mrs. Mercer chuckles. “I thought you’ve been studying for school.”
“We do,” Iris giggled her cute giggle. “Sometimes.”
I swallowed my bite of salad before saying, “She’s quite talented. She went from dancing like a goofball to dancing like a professional in a matter of days.”
“I don’t know whether to take that as a compliment or not,” Iris joked, making everyone chuckle.
“When’s the show?” Mr. Mercer asked before taking a bite of his meal.
“March seventh,” I smiled. I took my hand from Iris’s thigh and placed the same arm onto the back of her chair.
Iris bit her lip and rested the back of her head against my arm, “Are you guys gonna come?”
“Of course,” Brielle beamed. “We wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
“I’ll even bring Derek,” Skye added. “I know you two are buddies.”
Iris chuckled, “Only because we can talk about you behind your back.”
“What?” I could tell Skye was just pretending to be shocked.
“You should sit with us at the show,” Brielle suggested to me.
“I would,” I stated. “But I’m in the show too.”
“He can sing,” Iris said, emphasizing the word ‘sing’. “His voice is incredible.”
“Nah,” my cheeks flushed. She is incredible.
“Nah?” she glared. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
Mr. Mercer chuckled, “I guess we’ll be looking for Harry on that stage.”
“Good,” Iris said as she smirked at me. I shook my head at her and chuckled before continuing to eat my meal.
The rest of the dinner was filled with small conversations. I learned a few things about Iris’s family: Skye and Derek have been dating for three years and met in their sophomore year of college, Brielle is studying to be a teacher and works as a waitress for now, Mr. Mercer is a lawyer which is a job I always thought I’d do until I realized music is my passion, and Mrs. Mercer used to be a florist (no surprise there) before she decided to be a stay-at-home mum. Overall, I must say this has been great.
Once we finished dinner, I helped Mrs. Mercer clean up the table before joining the family back in the dining room for their game night. The ladies all decided on playing Scrabble, which is a boring game in my book. I had to pair up with Iris, and Mr. and Mrs. Mercer had to pair up as well since it's a four player game. I think the best part of this night is watching Iris’s smile grow bigger and bigger. She’s glowing, and I’m so happy for her.
“Harry, would you mind having a chat with me real quick?” Mr. Mercer asked. Iris shot me a concerned look, but I just smiled back and followed her father out to the backyard.
“What’d you want to talk about, Sir?” I asked after we sat onto the plastic chairs that faced their full grassy backyard.
He sighed, “I wanted to thank you.”
“Sir?” I furrowed my brows. What could he have to thank me for?
He smiled and laid further back into his chair, “Harry, I’ve never seen my daughter so happy before. She’s never been so talkative at the table, she’s never smiled so widely, and she’s never been a part of our game nights. My wife and I are to blame for her never being this way before. On the other hand, you’ve made her this way. For that, I must thank you.”
I just grinned at him. I had no idea what to say to that. Saying “you’re welcome” just seems like I was doing him a favor. It has always been my intention to make her smile. She deserves to be happy, more than anyone I know.
“I can only hope you’ll never break her heart,” her father curled his lips.
“I never want to do that,” I shook my head and stared into my lap.
I don’t want to, but what if I do? She still doesn’t know about my past, and I’m afraid of how she’ll act when she does. I’m afraid to lose her. Like I said before, she deserves to be happy. What if I’m not the person who’ll keep her happy? I’m scared of that, but honestly, she deserves better than me.
“You’re a good kid, Harry,” Mr. Mercer said as he patted my back. “I’m glad Iris has someone like you in her life.”
Believe me, you won’t always feel that way…
Monday February 10th
“And he…” Sophia was laughing so hard she couldn’t speak. “He thought it was a sandwich.” The whole table erupted into laughter towards Niall. It was now lunch at school and we were all discussing our weekend. I guess while I was at Iris’s, the girls and Niall were hanging out at Sophia’s place.
“That sponge was bread colored,” Niall said defensively before burying his face into his hands.
“It was in the sink,” Perrie laughed. “Why would a sandwich be in the sink?”
“Maybe it fell off a plate,” Niall muttered into his hands.
“That’s disgusting,” Liam snickered.
Louis started laughing harder, “Nialler, you’re a fool.”
“Porky,” Iris set her hand on his shoulder, making me suddenly feel uncomfortable. “I’m saying this because I love you: You need help.” Everyone started laughing harder, my laughter obviously being forced. She loves him, huh? God Harry, stop being a jealous prick. She means as a friend, calm down.
“Hey guys,” Andrew greeted us as he walked over.
“Hey Andrew,” Riley was the only one who said anything back to him.
He cleared his throat, I’m guessing to get all of our attention, “I’m uh, I’m having a party this Saturday, and I was wondering if you guys would like to go.”
“No,” I said blatantly. There’s no way in hell I’m going to that piece of shit’s party.
“Sounds fun,” Iris shrugged, and I glared at her. Is she fucking kidding me?
“Yeah,” Zayn agreed, so I turned my scowl to him. “Come on, Haz. It’ll be fun actually going to a party rather than having to serve people and clean up afterwards.” I still don’t want to fucking go.
Riley turned around and smiled to him, “We’ll be there.” Why is she speaking for us all? Who is this we? Iris and I are not going.
“Alright, see you then,” Andrew waved. “Later Liam.”
“Bye, Mate,” Liam waved back. Everyone but Iris shot him a puzzled look. “He and I go way back,” Liam stated.
Iris smiled, “And I was the first to know? Aww, I feel special.” Liam just chuckled at her while the rest of us were still baffled.
Ring ring! The bell rang and everyone stood up from the table to say their goodbyes and throw away their trash. Everyone but Iris and I had scattered since we definitely needed to talk.
“Why would you want to go to that dick’s party?” I groaned.
She sighed and shifted her weight to her left leg, “Harry, it’s just a party. It’s not like he’s trying to be my friend or get in my pants. Besides, you’ll be there.”
“I’ll only go so he doesn’t try anything on you, but trust me, I don’t want to fucking go,” I huffed, making her roll her eyes.
“You need to loosen up. Why have you been so on edge today? Did my father say something wrong to you?”
He said enough to make me realize I’m not right for you. “It’s nothing,” I said instead, sighing as I did so. I wrapped my hands around her’s and rubbed her soft skin, “I’m sorry. I just don’t like that Andrew guy.”
“I know,” she nodded and she curled her lips. “But like I said, it’s only a party.” I just let it go and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before guiding her to her classroom.
“I don’t want to go to DSF today,” I chuckled in attempt to lighten up the mood. “I don’t feel like doing homework.”
“Lazy Ass,” she joked. “Well, I’m not going because Liz, Perrie, and I are meeting at my house to talk about clothing designs for the talent show.”
“Why don’t I give you all a ride there then?” I offered.
“Harry, you should go to DSF,” she giggled and shook her head.
“I’m not going without you,” I said in what sounded like a childish voice. We reached her classroom and I pulled her into a warm hug. “I’ll take you guys to your place.”
She caved in with a sigh, “Fine.”
“I love you,” I smiled down to her as I slightly pulled away.
“I love you too,” she beamed before stepping on her tiptoes to plant a short kiss onto my lips.
After dropping all of the girls off at Iris’s house, I headed home. When I pulled up, I noticed an unfamiliar car in my driveway. It must be one of Gemma’s friends or something, but they took my spot. I guess no one expected me to be home yet though. I pulled over at the curb in front of the house instead.
When I got into the house, I heard my mum and Gem’s laughs followed by a man’s laughter. Maybe Gemma’s boyfriend is here. I haven’t met Gavin face-to-face yet, only over the phone to talk about using the soccer field for one of Iris and I’s dates. I passed the living room and entered the kitchen, placing my backpack and keys onto the counter. I noticed the living room was suddenly quiet. Uh, okay?
“Harry?” I heard my mum ask.
“Yeah?”
“What are you doing home early?” She sounded slightly panicked. What’s going on?
I walked into the living room, “I didn’t feel like going to the club meeting.” Sitting on the couch opposite of my mum and sister was a man with a rounded face, short brown hair with grey hairs on the sides, a mustache, and glasses. Definitely not Gavin. “Who’s this?” I asked, pointing to the strange man.
“Um, Harry, this is Robin. Robin, this is Harry,” my mum introduced us.
“It’s nice to finally meet you,” he smiled and stood up to shake my hand.
I furrowed my brows and shook his hand firmly, “Finally?”
“Harry, why don’t we go out?” Gemma stood up with a forced smile on her face.
“What’s going on?” I pulled my hand away from Robin and stared at my mother in confusion. “Mum?”
She sighed, “Robin and I have been seeing each other.”
“You’re dating this guy?” my voice raised slightly. How could she date anyone right now? Why so soon?
She stood up and took a step towards me, “Sweetie, you father and I’s divorce has been finalized and it’s been months since I kicked him out. I realized that it’s time to move on, and Robin has been such a gentleman. Your father isn’t even half the man Robin is.”
“Aww, thank you Anne,” he smiled.
“Why?” is all I could gather myself to say.
“She already told you why,” Gemma raised her brows. “Aren’t you happy for her?”
“No,” I said honestly.
“Harry,” my mum took another step towards me and I took two steps back. “Please, let’s just talk about this.”
“Why? So you can tell me why you’ve been hiding this from me or so you can tell me how he hasn’t hit you yet?” I said through my teeth. “I’m leaving.”
Robin held his arm out to stop me from walking into the kitchen, “I can assure you I’d never lay a hand on your mother.”
“For your sake, I hope you’re right,” I spat before storming into the kitchen and grabbing my keys. Then, I left and drove straight to the track. This day has been fucking bullshit.
I had been at the track for hours, staring at the trees and watching the clouds. I’ve had so much on my mind: Niall, Iris, Andrew, my past, and now my mum. Everything is hitting me like an overwhelming wave. I don’t know how to think or act and that only makes me feel angry. The last time I felt this way was when I fucked everything over. I can’t be that way again, so all I can do is try to take a breather.
“Hey,” Iris said from behind me.
I furrowed my brows and looked up at her, “What are you doing here?” She can’t be here. I don’t want to blow up on her. I should’ve gone to the mountains we went to a long time ago and sat up there. I just need to be away from everyone and everything.
“I went to your house when Perrie and Liz left. Your mom told me you were upset with her, so I figured you were here,” she sat down next to me and wrapped her arms around one of mine before placing her head onto my shoulder. “What happened, Harry?”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I rolled my eyes before pulling my arm away from her.
She placed her hands in her lap and stared down at her twiddling thumbs, “When has not talking about it ever helped?”
Unfortunately, she’s right. When we first met, I acted just as I’m acting now. I didn’t want to talk about shit, but Iris found out without me saying a word. Eventually, I was able to speak to her about everything and I felt so much better. Whether I liked it or not, it was the easier solution.
I sighed and wrapped my arm around her shoulders, “I’m sorry.”
“I know,” she half smiled.
I stared back at the trees as I began speaking again, “My mum is dating again, and she didn’t even bother to tell me until I caught her with the guy today.”
“Really? That’s great,” her smile faded to a frown, remembering I wasn’t happy when I looked back at her. “Isn’t it?”
“That’s not great, Iris,” I said sternly. “What if he hurts her?”
“She’s learned her lesson with your dad,” she sighed. “I think she knows when to call it off now.” Why does she always disagree with me?
I glared at the sky, “My father wasn’t always abusive. This Robin guy could just be fooling her.”
“You don’t know that,” she shook her head. “He could be the best thing that’s ever happened to your mom, besides Gemma and you.”
“I doubt it,” I scoffed.
She placed her hands onto my cheeks and forced me to look at her scowl, “Stop acting like a child, Harry. She’s allowed to be happy, you know, and all you’re doing is getting in the way of her happiness. My guess is your mother didn’t want to tell you because she knew you’d react this way. You’re allowed to protect her, but you’re overreacting. You haven’t even given the guy a chance.”
I stayed silent for a minute, staring at the gravel below us to avoid her eyes. I know I’m getting in the way, but I just don’t trust that Robin guy. It seems like all men in this world are bad, except Niall who’s a fucking perfect bloke. All of us have some dark secret, are treating people poorly, or maybe even both. Not Niall though. He’s who Iris should probably be with. My point is, Robin could be just like my father: Nice until something he doesn’t like happens and then he could suddenly be some abusive areshole.
“Okay, I’ll give him a chance,” I lied way too easily. Iris smiled and snuggled up to me, joining me in my silence. She doesn’t realize that even she is hurting me, just like everyone else. The thing is, I'm not so sure it's their fault. It's my fucking paranoia. I’m left gradually turning into my old self, the one everyone fears. The one I fear. The one that fucked up and almost lost everything. This time, I’m not so sure there will be an ‘almost’.
Once a screw up, always a screw up.
Harry’s POV:
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Iris greeted me at the door of her house.
“Well, hello to you too,” I joked.
“Sorry, I’m just nervous,” she stated as she pulled me into a hug. As I returned the gesture, the bouquet of flowers I held made a crinkling noise as it pressed against her back. “What is that?” she asked as she pulled away.
“They may or may not be a bribery for your mother,” I chuckled. Last night, Iris’s mum called her home and suggested I come over for dinner tonight. So here I am, nervous as hell, but it appears Iris is more stressed out than I am.
She stepped out of the doorway to allow me to come into her house. “Well, you’re definitely getting points from the nature freak,” she said, trying to whisper as she did so. She’s so cute when she tries to whisper since she doesn’t realize she’s still talking in a regular voice. I guess to her it sounds like she’s speaking softly.
“Who are you calling a nature freak?” Mrs. Mercer smirked as she entered the room.
Iris playfully hit my chest, “You’re supposed to tell me when I’m speaking too loud.”
I kissed her cheek, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I walked over to Mrs. Mercer and held the irises out to her, “These are for you, Ma’am.”
“Ma’am? That seems so formal. I like it,” she gave me a look of approval as she took the flowers from me. “Oh, these flowers are so lovely. Are these irises?”
I nodded with a wide grin on my face, “My favorite flowers.”
Iris raised my arm and placed it around her neck before snaking her arms around my waist to side hug me. “You’re so cheesy,” she giggled.
“You love it,” I teased before pressing a kiss onto her temple.
“Well, dinner is already on the table. Why don’t you guys join the family in the dining room? I’ll be there in a minute, after I put these flowers in a vase,” Mrs. Mercer smiled.
As Iris and I made our way over to the dining room, I couldn’t help but feel like I could’ve done more to impress her mother. Maybe I should’ve told her how great she looked today. Is that too forward or too much? It’s just that I’ve never stayed over for dinner at any of my girlfriend’s houses. With Riley, she just gave us a brief introduction and then I hardly ever saw her parents again. In fact, that was pretty much how it was with all my exes.
It’s different with Iris. I wanted to do this because I have no intentions of ever breaking up with Iris, and now that her family actually seems to be making an effort to be there for her, I wanted to make an effort to get to know them.
“Hello Harry,” Mr. Mercer stands up from his seat to greet me with a handshake.
“Hello Sir,” I smile and gladly accepted the gesture.
“Please sit,” he points to the empty chairs to the left of him.
I pulled Iris’s chair out for her, earning a smile from her as she sat down in it, and then I pushed her in before taking the seat between her and her father. Brielle sat at the end of the table with Skye sitting to her left. On the table was a big bowl of salad and a basket of bread. Mrs. Mercer came in with a platter containing the star of the meal, but I couldn’t tell what it was.
Mrs. Mercer set the dish onto the table and took the seat next to Skye and across from me. “I hope you like Enchiladas,” she smiled.
“I’m not sure I’ve ever had them before,” I admitted. “It looks and smells amazing.”
“Thank you,” she smiled. “Well, dig in everyone.”
I wasn’t sure if I should immediately take something. Is that rude? Am I supposed to help Iris put food on her plate? I seriously have no idea what I’m doing. I just smiled at everyone and allowed them all to fill up their plates first.
Once everyone passed around the salad, Iris handed it to me with a small smile playing on her lips. I could tell she was still nervous about this. Her anxiety was stressing me out because it made me feel like her parents will probably disapprove of me. I’m honestly not even sure what Iris is so scared of, and it’s worrying me.
Soon, we all had our plates filled and began nibbling at our food. No one spoke, the air filling with nothing but an awkward silence. Nobody knows what to say. Everyone just peered at each other and gave each other light smiles. I was honestly scared to look at Mr. and Mrs. Mercer while the discomfort clouded my mind. Should I say something? Break the ice?
“So, how is school?” Mr. Mercer finally spoke up. Thank God.
I shrugged, “It’s alright. Our principal is still there, so it’s kind of hard to enjoy it.” The principal…I just had to bring him up. He takes part in what I haven’t told Iris yet. Although, he doesn’t make me regret what I did considering he’s been eyeing my girlfriend.
Not only was I uncomfortable with the subject, but I could tell everyone else was, making things awkward, yet again. Good going Harry, way to make an impression.
“Did I tell you guys I’m going to be in the school talent show?” Iris changed the subject. I shot her a smile and squeezed her thigh in appreciation for saving me.
“No you didn’t,” Skye shook her head. “What are you going to do?”
“Dance,” Iris answered. “I’ve been practicing with Eleanor after school.”
“So that’s where you’ve been,” Mrs. Mercer chuckles. “I thought you’ve been studying for school.”
“We do,” Iris giggled her cute giggle. “Sometimes.”
I swallowed my bite of salad before saying, “She’s quite talented. She went from dancing like a goofball to dancing like a professional in a matter of days.”
“I don’t know whether to take that as a compliment or not,” Iris joked, making everyone chuckle.
“When’s the show?” Mr. Mercer asked before taking a bite of his meal.
“March seventh,” I smiled. I took my hand from Iris’s thigh and placed the same arm onto the back of her chair.
Iris bit her lip and rested the back of her head against my arm, “Are you guys gonna come?”
“Of course,” Brielle beamed. “We wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
“I’ll even bring Derek,” Skye added. “I know you two are buddies.”
Iris chuckled, “Only because we can talk about you behind your back.”
“What?” I could tell Skye was just pretending to be shocked.
“You should sit with us at the show,” Brielle suggested to me.
“I would,” I stated. “But I’m in the show too.”
“He can sing,” Iris said, emphasizing the word ‘sing’. “His voice is incredible.”
“Nah,” my cheeks flushed. She is incredible.
“Nah?” she glared. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
Mr. Mercer chuckled, “I guess we’ll be looking for Harry on that stage.”
“Good,” Iris said as she smirked at me. I shook my head at her and chuckled before continuing to eat my meal.
The rest of the dinner was filled with small conversations. I learned a few things about Iris’s family: Skye and Derek have been dating for three years and met in their sophomore year of college, Brielle is studying to be a teacher and works as a waitress for now, Mr. Mercer is a lawyer which is a job I always thought I’d do until I realized music is my passion, and Mrs. Mercer used to be a florist (no surprise there) before she decided to be a stay-at-home mum. Overall, I must say this has been great.
Once we finished dinner, I helped Mrs. Mercer clean up the table before joining the family back in the dining room for their game night. The ladies all decided on playing Scrabble, which is a boring game in my book. I had to pair up with Iris, and Mr. and Mrs. Mercer had to pair up as well since it's a four player game. I think the best part of this night is watching Iris’s smile grow bigger and bigger. She’s glowing, and I’m so happy for her.
“Harry, would you mind having a chat with me real quick?” Mr. Mercer asked. Iris shot me a concerned look, but I just smiled back and followed her father out to the backyard.
“What’d you want to talk about, Sir?” I asked after we sat onto the plastic chairs that faced their full grassy backyard.
He sighed, “I wanted to thank you.”
“Sir?” I furrowed my brows. What could he have to thank me for?
He smiled and laid further back into his chair, “Harry, I’ve never seen my daughter so happy before. She’s never been so talkative at the table, she’s never smiled so widely, and she’s never been a part of our game nights. My wife and I are to blame for her never being this way before. On the other hand, you’ve made her this way. For that, I must thank you.”
I just grinned at him. I had no idea what to say to that. Saying “you’re welcome” just seems like I was doing him a favor. It has always been my intention to make her smile. She deserves to be happy, more than anyone I know.
“I can only hope you’ll never break her heart,” her father curled his lips.
“I never want to do that,” I shook my head and stared into my lap.
I don’t want to, but what if I do? She still doesn’t know about my past, and I’m afraid of how she’ll act when she does. I’m afraid to lose her. Like I said before, she deserves to be happy. What if I’m not the person who’ll keep her happy? I’m scared of that, but honestly, she deserves better than me.
“You’re a good kid, Harry,” Mr. Mercer said as he patted my back. “I’m glad Iris has someone like you in her life.”
Believe me, you won’t always feel that way…
Monday February 10th
“And he…” Sophia was laughing so hard she couldn’t speak. “He thought it was a sandwich.” The whole table erupted into laughter towards Niall. It was now lunch at school and we were all discussing our weekend. I guess while I was at Iris’s, the girls and Niall were hanging out at Sophia’s place.
“That sponge was bread colored,” Niall said defensively before burying his face into his hands.
“It was in the sink,” Perrie laughed. “Why would a sandwich be in the sink?”
“Maybe it fell off a plate,” Niall muttered into his hands.
“That’s disgusting,” Liam snickered.
Louis started laughing harder, “Nialler, you’re a fool.”
“Porky,” Iris set her hand on his shoulder, making me suddenly feel uncomfortable. “I’m saying this because I love you: You need help.” Everyone started laughing harder, my laughter obviously being forced. She loves him, huh? God Harry, stop being a jealous prick. She means as a friend, calm down.
“Hey guys,” Andrew greeted us as he walked over.
“Hey Andrew,” Riley was the only one who said anything back to him.
He cleared his throat, I’m guessing to get all of our attention, “I’m uh, I’m having a party this Saturday, and I was wondering if you guys would like to go.”
“No,” I said blatantly. There’s no way in hell I’m going to that piece of shit’s party.
“Sounds fun,” Iris shrugged, and I glared at her. Is she fucking kidding me?
“Yeah,” Zayn agreed, so I turned my scowl to him. “Come on, Haz. It’ll be fun actually going to a party rather than having to serve people and clean up afterwards.” I still don’t want to fucking go.
Riley turned around and smiled to him, “We’ll be there.” Why is she speaking for us all? Who is this we? Iris and I are not going.
“Alright, see you then,” Andrew waved. “Later Liam.”
“Bye, Mate,” Liam waved back. Everyone but Iris shot him a puzzled look. “He and I go way back,” Liam stated.
Iris smiled, “And I was the first to know? Aww, I feel special.” Liam just chuckled at her while the rest of us were still baffled.
Ring ring! The bell rang and everyone stood up from the table to say their goodbyes and throw away their trash. Everyone but Iris and I had scattered since we definitely needed to talk.
“Why would you want to go to that dick’s party?” I groaned.
She sighed and shifted her weight to her left leg, “Harry, it’s just a party. It’s not like he’s trying to be my friend or get in my pants. Besides, you’ll be there.”
“I’ll only go so he doesn’t try anything on you, but trust me, I don’t want to fucking go,” I huffed, making her roll her eyes.
“You need to loosen up. Why have you been so on edge today? Did my father say something wrong to you?”
He said enough to make me realize I’m not right for you. “It’s nothing,” I said instead, sighing as I did so. I wrapped my hands around her’s and rubbed her soft skin, “I’m sorry. I just don’t like that Andrew guy.”
“I know,” she nodded and she curled her lips. “But like I said, it’s only a party.” I just let it go and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before guiding her to her classroom.
“I don’t want to go to DSF today,” I chuckled in attempt to lighten up the mood. “I don’t feel like doing homework.”
“Lazy Ass,” she joked. “Well, I’m not going because Liz, Perrie, and I are meeting at my house to talk about clothing designs for the talent show.”
“Why don’t I give you all a ride there then?” I offered.
“Harry, you should go to DSF,” she giggled and shook her head.
“I’m not going without you,” I said in what sounded like a childish voice. We reached her classroom and I pulled her into a warm hug. “I’ll take you guys to your place.”
She caved in with a sigh, “Fine.”
“I love you,” I smiled down to her as I slightly pulled away.
“I love you too,” she beamed before stepping on her tiptoes to plant a short kiss onto my lips.
After dropping all of the girls off at Iris’s house, I headed home. When I pulled up, I noticed an unfamiliar car in my driveway. It must be one of Gemma’s friends or something, but they took my spot. I guess no one expected me to be home yet though. I pulled over at the curb in front of the house instead.
When I got into the house, I heard my mum and Gem’s laughs followed by a man’s laughter. Maybe Gemma’s boyfriend is here. I haven’t met Gavin face-to-face yet, only over the phone to talk about using the soccer field for one of Iris and I’s dates. I passed the living room and entered the kitchen, placing my backpack and keys onto the counter. I noticed the living room was suddenly quiet. Uh, okay?
“Harry?” I heard my mum ask.
“Yeah?”
“What are you doing home early?” She sounded slightly panicked. What’s going on?
I walked into the living room, “I didn’t feel like going to the club meeting.” Sitting on the couch opposite of my mum and sister was a man with a rounded face, short brown hair with grey hairs on the sides, a mustache, and glasses. Definitely not Gavin. “Who’s this?” I asked, pointing to the strange man.
“Um, Harry, this is Robin. Robin, this is Harry,” my mum introduced us.
“It’s nice to finally meet you,” he smiled and stood up to shake my hand.
I furrowed my brows and shook his hand firmly, “Finally?”
“Harry, why don’t we go out?” Gemma stood up with a forced smile on her face.
“What’s going on?” I pulled my hand away from Robin and stared at my mother in confusion. “Mum?”
She sighed, “Robin and I have been seeing each other.”
“You’re dating this guy?” my voice raised slightly. How could she date anyone right now? Why so soon?
She stood up and took a step towards me, “Sweetie, you father and I’s divorce has been finalized and it’s been months since I kicked him out. I realized that it’s time to move on, and Robin has been such a gentleman. Your father isn’t even half the man Robin is.”
“Aww, thank you Anne,” he smiled.
“Why?” is all I could gather myself to say.
“She already told you why,” Gemma raised her brows. “Aren’t you happy for her?”
“No,” I said honestly.
“Harry,” my mum took another step towards me and I took two steps back. “Please, let’s just talk about this.”
“Why? So you can tell me why you’ve been hiding this from me or so you can tell me how he hasn’t hit you yet?” I said through my teeth. “I’m leaving.”
Robin held his arm out to stop me from walking into the kitchen, “I can assure you I’d never lay a hand on your mother.”
“For your sake, I hope you’re right,” I spat before storming into the kitchen and grabbing my keys. Then, I left and drove straight to the track. This day has been fucking bullshit.
I had been at the track for hours, staring at the trees and watching the clouds. I’ve had so much on my mind: Niall, Iris, Andrew, my past, and now my mum. Everything is hitting me like an overwhelming wave. I don’t know how to think or act and that only makes me feel angry. The last time I felt this way was when I fucked everything over. I can’t be that way again, so all I can do is try to take a breather.
“Hey,” Iris said from behind me.
I furrowed my brows and looked up at her, “What are you doing here?” She can’t be here. I don’t want to blow up on her. I should’ve gone to the mountains we went to a long time ago and sat up there. I just need to be away from everyone and everything.
“I went to your house when Perrie and Liz left. Your mom told me you were upset with her, so I figured you were here,” she sat down next to me and wrapped her arms around one of mine before placing her head onto my shoulder. “What happened, Harry?”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I rolled my eyes before pulling my arm away from her.
She placed her hands in her lap and stared down at her twiddling thumbs, “When has not talking about it ever helped?”
Unfortunately, she’s right. When we first met, I acted just as I’m acting now. I didn’t want to talk about shit, but Iris found out without me saying a word. Eventually, I was able to speak to her about everything and I felt so much better. Whether I liked it or not, it was the easier solution.
I sighed and wrapped my arm around her shoulders, “I’m sorry.”
“I know,” she half smiled.
I stared back at the trees as I began speaking again, “My mum is dating again, and she didn’t even bother to tell me until I caught her with the guy today.”
“Really? That’s great,” her smile faded to a frown, remembering I wasn’t happy when I looked back at her. “Isn’t it?”
“That’s not great, Iris,” I said sternly. “What if he hurts her?”
“She’s learned her lesson with your dad,” she sighed. “I think she knows when to call it off now.” Why does she always disagree with me?
I glared at the sky, “My father wasn’t always abusive. This Robin guy could just be fooling her.”
“You don’t know that,” she shook her head. “He could be the best thing that’s ever happened to your mom, besides Gemma and you.”
“I doubt it,” I scoffed.
She placed her hands onto my cheeks and forced me to look at her scowl, “Stop acting like a child, Harry. She’s allowed to be happy, you know, and all you’re doing is getting in the way of her happiness. My guess is your mother didn’t want to tell you because she knew you’d react this way. You’re allowed to protect her, but you’re overreacting. You haven’t even given the guy a chance.”
I stayed silent for a minute, staring at the gravel below us to avoid her eyes. I know I’m getting in the way, but I just don’t trust that Robin guy. It seems like all men in this world are bad, except Niall who’s a fucking perfect bloke. All of us have some dark secret, are treating people poorly, or maybe even both. Not Niall though. He’s who Iris should probably be with. My point is, Robin could be just like my father: Nice until something he doesn’t like happens and then he could suddenly be some abusive areshole.
“Okay, I’ll give him a chance,” I lied way too easily. Iris smiled and snuggled up to me, joining me in my silence. She doesn’t realize that even she is hurting me, just like everyone else. The thing is, I'm not so sure it's their fault. It's my fucking paranoia. I’m left gradually turning into my old self, the one everyone fears. The one I fear. The one that fucked up and almost lost everything. This time, I’m not so sure there will be an ‘almost’.
Once a screw up, always a screw up.
Notes
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11/18/17