Mistreated
Love
Friday December 27th
Iris’s POV:
Eager to please,
Trying to be what they need
But I'm so very tired
I've stopped trying to find
Any peace in my mind
Because it tangles the wires
I woke up to the lyrics of “Whisper” by A Fine Frenzy filling my ears. It’s one of my favorite songs. Not only does it describe me, but it’s a beautiful tune. Last night, I set it on repeat and laid there thinking about Niall’s advice. “Think positive,” his voice played in my mind like a broken record. I wouldn’t be surprised if that was why I had that dream last night.
After having that dream, I actually woke up with a smile on my face. I finally see and I’m going to allow myself to be happy. No more of this, ‘I don’t deserve to be happy’ shit. I do, and I’m glad I realize that. Or maybe I’m smiling because a certain shirtless, curly-haired boy is laying across my back. His head is buried in my neck as his arms are snaked around my waist and I don’t mind the contact at all. I tried wiggling out from underneath him, but his grip only tightened at my movements.
“Harry, I’m trapped,” I giggled, but he didn’t budge. I finally managed to turn my head so my face was next to his and smiled at the sight before me. His pouted but slightly parted lips released slow breaths as he lay there peacefully sleeping. This is the first time I’ve woken up in his arms with nothing going on. The first time we shared a bed, I had been beaten up by Riley and he didn’t touch me. The second time, my parents kicked him out. This time was like any other ordinary morning for other people and it felt…natural.
Unable to resist the temptation anymore, I stretched my neck so that my face was almost touching his. Then, I took his bottom lip between mine, lazily kissing him. When I pulled away, I noticed his eyes were open, but slanted, and his mouth curved into a small smile.
“I missed that,” his voice rasped.
“Me too,” I admitted.
We laid there, staring in each other’s eyes. Me, just enjoying the sight of the beautiful boy before me. I knew he was searching for a hint of sadness in my eyes, but his search would only fail.
“I just don’t want to think about it anymore,” I spoke up.
To my surprise, he took his arms out from under me and slid off of me. Before I could protest, he gently turned me to my side and pulled me into his chest, all while tangling his bare legs with mine. I didn’t realize he was just in his boxers, but, again, I don’t mind. He reached behind him and grabbed my hearing aids off the end table to hand to me. I placed them in my ears before nuzzling my head into the crook of his neck.
I need to apologize. I put him through so much yesterday, obviously not taking anyone’s feelings into consideration. I know he’s upset by the way he holds me, oh so protectively.
“I’m sorry I scared you,” I sighed. “I scared everyone.”
He began stroking my hair as his other hand roamed up and down my back, “I thought I lost you.” His words hurt like a dagger to my heart. I wish I could take it back. I never meant to put him through that.
I lifted my head from his neck and wiggled up the bed so we were nose-to-nose. I began tracing his sharp jawline with my fingers as I whispered, “I’m still here.”
“It’s not fair, Angel,” he frowned. “I promised you I’d never leave you, and you tried to leave me like it was nothing.” And he’s right. What I did was so hypocritical.
I shook my head, “That’s not fair at all. Harry, I don’t want to do that again. Not to you, and not to me. I swear it won’t happen anymore. I’m here in your arms right now, and there’s nowhere I’d rather be.”
“You better mean that,” his face was serious.
“Why don’t we do something?” I smiled, attempting to lighten up the mood with a happy subject. “Like go on that date?”
He caressed my cheek with a small chuckle falling from his lips, “I’d like that.”
“You better take me somewhere amazing,” I joked.
He playfully rolled my eyes as he tapped his fingers against my back, “Anywhere in particular?”
I looked at the ceiling, biting my lip to hide the silly smile that was forming on my face. “Surprise me. I think you should dress up for me like you said you would.” I met his gaze again, smirking at his whimsical glare.
“You’re lucky you’re adorable,” he chuckled. I jumped to my feet, stepped over Harry, and stepped onto his carpet. He groaned and grabbed my wrist to pull me back onto the bed, “Where do you think you’re going?”
“Home,” I chuckled. He just shot me a quizzical look as he sat up in the bed. “I don’t have anything to wear for the date. I need to go home and change so I can go shopping with my sisters.”
“You can just wear my clothes. I wouldn't mind,” he grinned as he pulled me closer to him.
“But they look huge on me,” I whined. “Don’t you want me to wear something more…” I paused and gave him what I hoped was a seductive look. “Fitting?” He busted up laughing. “What?”
He stifled his laughter by bringing his fist to the front of his mouth. “You’re too cute, Angel.”
“Great,” I muttered as I tried to hide my flushed cheeks. I made a fool of myself, how fucking amazing.
Harry’s warm hands lifted my face so I’d look at him, “It was a nice try.”
I rolled my eyes and giggled, “Shut up.”
He tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear, “You don’t have to try to be enticing when you already are.” I gave him a small grin, not bothering to hide my heated cheeks this time. His head tilted to the side, “Come on, I’ll give you a ride your place.”
I stood up and grabbed my clothes that I had left in Harry’s bathroom last night. I sighed when I took a glance at an empty spot on his counter. I know his razor was there. I saw him put it in his pocket, and looked away when he was making sure I wasn’t watching. It made me sad knowing he didn’t trust I’d take care of myself, but he had every right to remove it. I didn’t give him any reason to believe I’d be fine with a sharp object near me.
When I walked out of his bathroom, I watched as he placed on some blue skinny jeans.
“Can I ask you something?” I asked as I leaned both my head and shoulder on the bathroom doorway. He nodded as he grabbed a grey t-shirt from his dresser. “Last night, when we fell asleep, you were wearing clothes. How come when I woke up, I found you in only boxers?”
He quickly looked away from me, shrugged, and slid his shirt on before grabbing a blue plaid button up from his dresser. Okay? “I was hot,” he finally said, still not making any eye contact with me. That’s no big deal. It really was a stupid question, but the way he’s acting told me otherwise. I let it go since I couldn’t figure out any other reason he’d take his clothes off. Seriously though, it was a dumb question.
Once he finally put some socks and shoes on, I admired his appearance. He always looks sexy but somehow, he managed to look hotter today. How is that even humanly possible? I have no idea.
“You know, it’s rude to stare,” he smirked.
I scoffed, “It’s only rude if you don’t like it.”
"Touche," he chuckled as he walked over and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. “Let’s go.”
Harry took me to Derek’s, borrowing his mom’s car of course. He decided he was going to Perrie’s so Perrie can help him find something to wear for tomorrow. I’m really eager to see where he’ll take me. This is so exciting for me.
Anyways, I got dressed in a definitely Harry inspired outfit. I wore a grey tank top with an unbuttoned blue and black checkered shirt over it. With that, I wore blue skinnies, black velvet boots, and a black beanie that sat over my curls. If Harry saw my outfit, he’d smirk that cute smirk of his since I pretty much match him. The thought of that makes me chuckle.
Now, I'm at the mall with Brielle and Skye. We've been here for hours in search of a dress. Who knew it could be so stressful just to pick out something to wear?
“What about this one?” Brielle held up a black strapless dress that had ruffles from the waist down and ended where the knee line would be.
“I feel like I’d wear that to homecoming,” I said nervously. I feel like I’m being too picky since that’s the tenth dress I turned down, but I can’t help but feel like I need to wear the perfect dress.
“You know, this would be easier if we met him,” Skye grinned as she browsed through another rack of dresses.
“How would that help you?” I raised my brows.
Brielle shrugged, “The way he looks at you.”
“What?” I laughed.
Brielle rolled her eyes, “Like if he’s a boob or a butt guy.”
I literally choked on air when she said that. I started coughing uncontrollably, managing to let out a few laughs in between. “He doesn’t even stare at them.” Skye’s eyes widened along with her agape smile. “What?” worry struck me. Is that a horrible thing?
“He’s got it bad,” Skye gasped.
I waved my hands, “You honestly lost me.”
Brielle chuckled, “In other words, he wants to be with you and he’s not trying to get in your pants. That’s a good thing.”
I blushed and scanned some more dresses. I haven’t really thought about how much Harry likes me. I didn’t know it wasn’t normal for a guy not to look at your boobs and butt. Now that I think about it, Andrew always stared down my shirt. Pervert. But at the time, I didn’t care because I had strong feelings for him. The thing is, the feelings I had for Andrew are nothing compared to the electricity between Harry and I. Its incredible how one person can affect you in such a captivating way.
“What about this?” Skye held up a shiny, loose red shoulder dress.
I giggled, “It reminds me of a toga. This is a date, not a frat party.”
Skye laughed, “I was teasing. Do you have any color preferences?”
I thought about it for a minute, “Maybe something bright.”
“I think the way you think,” Brielle nodded. “I saw the perfect dress.” She walked over to another rack we were at before and held the dress up.
“I love it,” I beamed. “It’s perfect.”
After shopping for shoes and accessories, along with planning my hairstyle out over dinner, Skye dropped me off at my parent’s house. I was thankful that throughout the whole shopping spree my sisters didn’t bring up the events from yesterday. The thing is, I have to face my fears and see my parents. I want them to know I’m okay, first of all, since I took their kitchen knife and they’re probably worried…or at least my father is. Secondly, I want to tell my mom she’s a bitch. Is that a bad plan? I don’t really care anymore.
I know I practically still live it this house, but it didn’t feel like a home anymore, so I knocked rather than walking in. I took a deep breath and ran lines through my head. ‘I’m fine Dad, and Janice, I hope you rot in hell.’ Sounds legit, right?
“Iris?” I opened my eyes to find my confused father standing before me. I didn’t even know I closed my eyes until I just opened them. How weird. Like really weird. I’m rambling in my own mind. Crap, I’m nervous.
“Uh, hi,” are all the words I could muster up to say. Why must I be so speechless all of the sudden?
He suddenly wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a tight hug, “I’m so glad you’re okay.” Wow, I legitimately fucked up. I scared everyone half to death. This isn’t the first hug I’ve received like this today. Harry, Skye and Brielle all gave me vigilant hugs like this today.
“Janice!” my father shouted, making me jump. I looked at him with wide eyes and frantically shook my head. I don’t want to see her anymore, I change my mind.
“What are you yelling about?” she walked over. I watched as her expression changed from neutral to shock and then to sadness. Then, she hugged me too. Was it really this bad? I mean, even she was hugging me. This is weird. I didn’t hug back, instead, finding myself trying to lean away from her. I didn’t want her touch. Not anymore.
She pulled away and rubbed my shoulders, showing off the tears that were streaming down her face. She’s crying? “I didn’t mean any word of what I said yesterday,” her voice cracked. “I was angry, but not at you.”
I just stood there, silently trying to figure out what changed her mind. I told her before that I tried to kill myself; that didn’t stop her from being so cruel. Then, she sees me run out with a knife and she suddenly pities me? I’m more confused than I’ve ever been in my life.
“Come in,” she lightly pushed me towards the door. I was hesitant at first, but I obeyed and sat on a barstool in the kitchen. She joined me in the room and leaned on the counter, “Can I get you anything? Tea? Soda? Fruit? We have pineapple and I know you love it.”
“No,” I snapped. She’s finally acting like I’m her daughter and I feel pissed off. All these years...she’s never offered me a drink or food since I started middle school. How did she know I love pineapple anyways? She never cared and she never seemed to notice a thing I did or said. This is honestly fucking ridiculous.
My father sat down on the barstool next to me, “I know you don’t want to, but you need to listen to what she has to say.”
I scoffed, “You’re damn right I don’t want to. And why should I listen to her? She never heard what I had to say while I said it.”
“I deserved that,” she sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. “Iris, I never meant to hurt you. It’s true, your father and I didn’t really plan you, but you’re no mistake to me.” She took my hand in her’s but I quickly pulled away. “Please don’t be like this,” her voice broke again.
“All this time, I’ve always tried to get you to see things the way I view it,” I gritted my teeth trying to fight my own pained tears. “I’ve tried so many times. I even gave you my fucking laptop that holds everything I’ve ever been through. You still didn’t see it. What fucking changed your mind?”
“Honestly, your friend did,” she curled her lips and released a few more tears.
Wait? Friend? “What friend?”
My dad snapped his fingers in search of the name in his head. “I think it was Harry. Ah yes, the boy you mentioned in your writings.”
Harry? Well, that explains why he was all flustered when I brought up him magically being in boxers. He left to confront my parents and when he came back, he undressed before climbing back in bed with me. “What did he say?” I investigated further.
“He made me relive everything,” she spoke. “He was quite rude, honestly. It was foolish of him to come barging in here and screaming at us about what bad parents we are. Yet, he is right in the same sense that he was wrong. I saw it all, Iris, I just didn’t see it.”
“What does that even fucking mean?” I waved my hands.
She sighed, “I saw the bruises on the back of your legs, I just didn’t think anything of it. When the principal said you were raped, all I could think was ‘my daughter wouldn’t just get raped and not tell me’. Yeah, it was stupid. I thought you had to have pulled a prank and just didn’t want to tell me. The bruises on your face, you never told me someone hurt you. You just showed up with them and I just thought maybe it was makeup. You didn’t tell me these things until the day that boy was here. Iris, I honestly just didn't think any of those things could ever happen to my girls.”
Her excuses are the worst. In fact, they’re bullshit. She doesn’t even really have an excuse. She did it. It happened and there’s no taking it back.
“When your father and I read all the things you wrote, I just wanted to believe it was all fake. I wanted to believe that you never went through all of that by yourself. Meadow, I was mad at myself, not you.”
And she brings my middle name into this. Yes, it’s fucking Meadow. Iris…Meadow. She loves nature, can’t you tell? I mean one of my sister’s names is Skye. Brielle’s middle name is Rain. Is this normal? Probably…
“I’ve never been mad at you. I wanted to blame someone else, and I shouldn’t have. I never should have blamed you for anything. This was all my fault. I should have been there for you.”
“And I should be home more so I’m there for you,” my father added.
“I should’ve believed you,” she sobbed. “I’m a horrible mother. You were right: you’ve been nothing but good to us, always doing what you were told and helping without being asked to help. You are probably the most grateful child in the house and you’ve had nothing to be grateful for.”
“Grateful?” I whispered, not exactly trusting my voice.
She slightly smiled, “I read that in your entries. I remember it word from word. ‘I appreciate that God has even given me a family. There’s tons of kids out there without parents or siblings even. I may never get the attention I crave, but I’m thankful my parents give me a roof to live under, a bed to sleep in, food to eat, money to spend, and a much needed education.’ You are more grateful than your sisters are of those things, and we’ve been treating you with such disrespect. It’s admirable, really.”
Hearing those words out loud made sudden tears fall down my cheeks. I always was happy for that, I just wished I had more. I thought maybe that was too greedy of me. Not everyone gets what they want and I figured my family was one of the things I’d never get back. And here we are, seemingly starting to mend things.
Janice…my mom…placed her hand on mine one more time, “I’m so sorry, Meadow.” She pulled me into a tight hug that I actually returned as I sobbed into her chest. My father joined in, wrapping his arms around both of us.
“We’re going to change things from here on out,” he said after we all pulled out of the hug. “You and your sisters are going to move back in here as soon as possible and we’re going to start acting like a family again. No more assumptions, no more neglecting, and no more running.” He said the last part to me.
I cleared my throat before speaking again, “Wait, so are you guys not getting a divorce?”
My dad nodded, “We never really sat down and tried talking things through, and lately we’ve been doing that, so no. No divorce.”
I let out a big exhale and hugged them both tightly again, “I love you guys.”
Harry’s POV:
“Are you sure it’s okay? I felt weird with it on,” I whined to Perrie for the twentieth time over the phone. She pretty much picked out the whole outfit for me. I tried it on for my mum and Gem since I was forced to and they seemed to adore it too. I’m just not used to getting dressed up. Even for Riley’s dad’s funeral I just wore a black t-shirt and black sweats, but then again, I was in a wheelchair.
“Oh my God, Harry, yes,” she growled. “I get that you want to look good for her, but you sound like a girl who doesn’t think she has anything to wear when she’s got a closet full of clothes.”
“That was a long way to go for an insult,” I chuckled.
I could practically feel her glaring through the phone, “Shut up. Haz, you looked great. She’s gonna want to tear those clothes off of you.”
“We both know that’s not happening,” I sigh. As much as I would like it to, I'm a patient guy, for Iris anyways.
“Maybe not for a while, but she’ll come around. Trust me, a long wait is worth it.”
I groaned, “Perrie, I don’t need to talk about your’s and Zayn’s sex life.”
“Why not?” she chuckled. “You guys talk about it all the time.”
I snorted, “But its different coming from him. He does it more to brag. You talk about it like it’s special.”
“It is special. Once you’re with the right person, you’ll see it that way too. Who knows? Maybe Iris will be the one.”
“Maybe,” I couldn’t help but smile. I’m so glad she’s not able to see it. But it’s true…I’m falling for that Mercy deeper and deeper each day. There’s never been a girl I’ve cared about more. Iris is the first girl I’ve liked that I haven’t slept with yet. Usually I’d be gone once I’ve found out I wasn’t going to get in a girl’s pants, but with Iris it’s different. One reason is because she has been raped and is uncomfortable about the subject. Another reason is I’ve found that I didn’t care. For once, there’s more to a girl than just sex.
Knock knock!
“Uh, Perrie, I’ve got to go. Someone’s at my door,” I told her as I started walking to the door.
“Okay, later. Oh and Haz?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re date idea, it’s amazing. She’s going to love it.”
I grinned again, “Thanks Perrie.”
I hung up the phone and opened the door to see Iris standing before me.
“I think you’re a day early,” I smirked. I eyed her outfit from head to toe, “I see we match.”
She playfully rolled her eyes at me, “Shut up. We need to talk.”
“Uh oh, I’m in trouble,” I joke. I can tell by the look on her face, I actually am. “Uh, come in?”
“No, let’s talk out here,” she began walking away. Um, okay… I shut the door and followed her to the driveway.
“I see you don’t have your crutches,” she curls her lips.
I tried shaking off my confusion, “I uh, yeah. My leg doesn’t hurt that much today.”
She raised a brow, “That much?”
“I…” I paused and sighed. “Can you just tell me what you came here to say? You’re killing me.”
She started pacing as she twirled one of her curls with her finger and bit her lip. I could tell she was contemplating something, but I wasn’t sure what it was.
“I came here to scold you,” she finally said as she pointed her hand at me, before slapping it against her thigh and planting it there. “You yelled at my parents.” Oh.
I stayed quiet as I stared down at my shoes. They are very clean for being white shoes.
“I’m supposed to be mad,” she grumbled. Supposed to be? “Furious, really.”
I noticed her small feet step next to mine before I felt her wrap her arms around my waist. Uh, what?
“I can’t be mad at you because it worked,” she sighed.
I rested my chin on her head and held her tightly against me, “It did?”
She nodded against me, “I finally have them back and it’s all thanks to you. So, thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” I said, but it sounded more like a question. I honestly was expecting this to go so badly.
She lifted her head from me and shot me a glare, “If you do that again, I’ll kill you.”
I chuckled, “I won’t yell again as long as they keep their shit together.” She shook her head but a chuckle fell from her perfect lips.
We stayed standing in my driveway, hugging for the longest time.
“Harry?” she lifted her head from my chest again.
“Hm?” I looked down at her and I noticed she was teary-eyed. She wasn’t sad though. In fact, she had the brightest smile on her face.
“They told me they loved me,” she sniffled and giggled a bit.
I wiped away the tear that managed to escape her glimmering eyes, before kissing her forehead. “What did I tell you, Angel? They love you with all their hearts.”
Iris’s POV:
Eager to please,
Trying to be what they need
But I'm so very tired
I've stopped trying to find
Any peace in my mind
Because it tangles the wires
I woke up to the lyrics of “Whisper” by A Fine Frenzy filling my ears. It’s one of my favorite songs. Not only does it describe me, but it’s a beautiful tune. Last night, I set it on repeat and laid there thinking about Niall’s advice. “Think positive,” his voice played in my mind like a broken record. I wouldn’t be surprised if that was why I had that dream last night.
After having that dream, I actually woke up with a smile on my face. I finally see and I’m going to allow myself to be happy. No more of this, ‘I don’t deserve to be happy’ shit. I do, and I’m glad I realize that. Or maybe I’m smiling because a certain shirtless, curly-haired boy is laying across my back. His head is buried in my neck as his arms are snaked around my waist and I don’t mind the contact at all. I tried wiggling out from underneath him, but his grip only tightened at my movements.
“Harry, I’m trapped,” I giggled, but he didn’t budge. I finally managed to turn my head so my face was next to his and smiled at the sight before me. His pouted but slightly parted lips released slow breaths as he lay there peacefully sleeping. This is the first time I’ve woken up in his arms with nothing going on. The first time we shared a bed, I had been beaten up by Riley and he didn’t touch me. The second time, my parents kicked him out. This time was like any other ordinary morning for other people and it felt…natural.
Unable to resist the temptation anymore, I stretched my neck so that my face was almost touching his. Then, I took his bottom lip between mine, lazily kissing him. When I pulled away, I noticed his eyes were open, but slanted, and his mouth curved into a small smile.
“I missed that,” his voice rasped.
“Me too,” I admitted.
We laid there, staring in each other’s eyes. Me, just enjoying the sight of the beautiful boy before me. I knew he was searching for a hint of sadness in my eyes, but his search would only fail.
“I just don’t want to think about it anymore,” I spoke up.
To my surprise, he took his arms out from under me and slid off of me. Before I could protest, he gently turned me to my side and pulled me into his chest, all while tangling his bare legs with mine. I didn’t realize he was just in his boxers, but, again, I don’t mind. He reached behind him and grabbed my hearing aids off the end table to hand to me. I placed them in my ears before nuzzling my head into the crook of his neck.
I need to apologize. I put him through so much yesterday, obviously not taking anyone’s feelings into consideration. I know he’s upset by the way he holds me, oh so protectively.
“I’m sorry I scared you,” I sighed. “I scared everyone.”
He began stroking my hair as his other hand roamed up and down my back, “I thought I lost you.” His words hurt like a dagger to my heart. I wish I could take it back. I never meant to put him through that.
I lifted my head from his neck and wiggled up the bed so we were nose-to-nose. I began tracing his sharp jawline with my fingers as I whispered, “I’m still here.”
“It’s not fair, Angel,” he frowned. “I promised you I’d never leave you, and you tried to leave me like it was nothing.” And he’s right. What I did was so hypocritical.
I shook my head, “That’s not fair at all. Harry, I don’t want to do that again. Not to you, and not to me. I swear it won’t happen anymore. I’m here in your arms right now, and there’s nowhere I’d rather be.”
“You better mean that,” his face was serious.
“Why don’t we do something?” I smiled, attempting to lighten up the mood with a happy subject. “Like go on that date?”
He caressed my cheek with a small chuckle falling from his lips, “I’d like that.”
“You better take me somewhere amazing,” I joked.
He playfully rolled my eyes as he tapped his fingers against my back, “Anywhere in particular?”
I looked at the ceiling, biting my lip to hide the silly smile that was forming on my face. “Surprise me. I think you should dress up for me like you said you would.” I met his gaze again, smirking at his whimsical glare.
“You’re lucky you’re adorable,” he chuckled. I jumped to my feet, stepped over Harry, and stepped onto his carpet. He groaned and grabbed my wrist to pull me back onto the bed, “Where do you think you’re going?”
“Home,” I chuckled. He just shot me a quizzical look as he sat up in the bed. “I don’t have anything to wear for the date. I need to go home and change so I can go shopping with my sisters.”
“You can just wear my clothes. I wouldn't mind,” he grinned as he pulled me closer to him.
“But they look huge on me,” I whined. “Don’t you want me to wear something more…” I paused and gave him what I hoped was a seductive look. “Fitting?” He busted up laughing. “What?”
He stifled his laughter by bringing his fist to the front of his mouth. “You’re too cute, Angel.”
“Great,” I muttered as I tried to hide my flushed cheeks. I made a fool of myself, how fucking amazing.
Harry’s warm hands lifted my face so I’d look at him, “It was a nice try.”
I rolled my eyes and giggled, “Shut up.”
He tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear, “You don’t have to try to be enticing when you already are.” I gave him a small grin, not bothering to hide my heated cheeks this time. His head tilted to the side, “Come on, I’ll give you a ride your place.”
I stood up and grabbed my clothes that I had left in Harry’s bathroom last night. I sighed when I took a glance at an empty spot on his counter. I know his razor was there. I saw him put it in his pocket, and looked away when he was making sure I wasn’t watching. It made me sad knowing he didn’t trust I’d take care of myself, but he had every right to remove it. I didn’t give him any reason to believe I’d be fine with a sharp object near me.
When I walked out of his bathroom, I watched as he placed on some blue skinny jeans.
“Can I ask you something?” I asked as I leaned both my head and shoulder on the bathroom doorway. He nodded as he grabbed a grey t-shirt from his dresser. “Last night, when we fell asleep, you were wearing clothes. How come when I woke up, I found you in only boxers?”
He quickly looked away from me, shrugged, and slid his shirt on before grabbing a blue plaid button up from his dresser. Okay? “I was hot,” he finally said, still not making any eye contact with me. That’s no big deal. It really was a stupid question, but the way he’s acting told me otherwise. I let it go since I couldn’t figure out any other reason he’d take his clothes off. Seriously though, it was a dumb question.
Once he finally put some socks and shoes on, I admired his appearance. He always looks sexy but somehow, he managed to look hotter today. How is that even humanly possible? I have no idea.
“You know, it’s rude to stare,” he smirked.
I scoffed, “It’s only rude if you don’t like it.”
"Touche," he chuckled as he walked over and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. “Let’s go.”
Harry took me to Derek’s, borrowing his mom’s car of course. He decided he was going to Perrie’s so Perrie can help him find something to wear for tomorrow. I’m really eager to see where he’ll take me. This is so exciting for me.
Anyways, I got dressed in a definitely Harry inspired outfit. I wore a grey tank top with an unbuttoned blue and black checkered shirt over it. With that, I wore blue skinnies, black velvet boots, and a black beanie that sat over my curls. If Harry saw my outfit, he’d smirk that cute smirk of his since I pretty much match him. The thought of that makes me chuckle.
Now, I'm at the mall with Brielle and Skye. We've been here for hours in search of a dress. Who knew it could be so stressful just to pick out something to wear?
“What about this one?” Brielle held up a black strapless dress that had ruffles from the waist down and ended where the knee line would be.
“I feel like I’d wear that to homecoming,” I said nervously. I feel like I’m being too picky since that’s the tenth dress I turned down, but I can’t help but feel like I need to wear the perfect dress.
“You know, this would be easier if we met him,” Skye grinned as she browsed through another rack of dresses.
“How would that help you?” I raised my brows.
Brielle shrugged, “The way he looks at you.”
“What?” I laughed.
Brielle rolled her eyes, “Like if he’s a boob or a butt guy.”
I literally choked on air when she said that. I started coughing uncontrollably, managing to let out a few laughs in between. “He doesn’t even stare at them.” Skye’s eyes widened along with her agape smile. “What?” worry struck me. Is that a horrible thing?
“He’s got it bad,” Skye gasped.
I waved my hands, “You honestly lost me.”
Brielle chuckled, “In other words, he wants to be with you and he’s not trying to get in your pants. That’s a good thing.”
I blushed and scanned some more dresses. I haven’t really thought about how much Harry likes me. I didn’t know it wasn’t normal for a guy not to look at your boobs and butt. Now that I think about it, Andrew always stared down my shirt. Pervert. But at the time, I didn’t care because I had strong feelings for him. The thing is, the feelings I had for Andrew are nothing compared to the electricity between Harry and I. Its incredible how one person can affect you in such a captivating way.
“What about this?” Skye held up a shiny, loose red shoulder dress.
I giggled, “It reminds me of a toga. This is a date, not a frat party.”
Skye laughed, “I was teasing. Do you have any color preferences?”
I thought about it for a minute, “Maybe something bright.”
“I think the way you think,” Brielle nodded. “I saw the perfect dress.” She walked over to another rack we were at before and held the dress up.
“I love it,” I beamed. “It’s perfect.”
After shopping for shoes and accessories, along with planning my hairstyle out over dinner, Skye dropped me off at my parent’s house. I was thankful that throughout the whole shopping spree my sisters didn’t bring up the events from yesterday. The thing is, I have to face my fears and see my parents. I want them to know I’m okay, first of all, since I took their kitchen knife and they’re probably worried…or at least my father is. Secondly, I want to tell my mom she’s a bitch. Is that a bad plan? I don’t really care anymore.
I know I practically still live it this house, but it didn’t feel like a home anymore, so I knocked rather than walking in. I took a deep breath and ran lines through my head. ‘I’m fine Dad, and Janice, I hope you rot in hell.’ Sounds legit, right?
“Iris?” I opened my eyes to find my confused father standing before me. I didn’t even know I closed my eyes until I just opened them. How weird. Like really weird. I’m rambling in my own mind. Crap, I’m nervous.
“Uh, hi,” are all the words I could muster up to say. Why must I be so speechless all of the sudden?
He suddenly wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a tight hug, “I’m so glad you’re okay.” Wow, I legitimately fucked up. I scared everyone half to death. This isn’t the first hug I’ve received like this today. Harry, Skye and Brielle all gave me vigilant hugs like this today.
“Janice!” my father shouted, making me jump. I looked at him with wide eyes and frantically shook my head. I don’t want to see her anymore, I change my mind.
“What are you yelling about?” she walked over. I watched as her expression changed from neutral to shock and then to sadness. Then, she hugged me too. Was it really this bad? I mean, even she was hugging me. This is weird. I didn’t hug back, instead, finding myself trying to lean away from her. I didn’t want her touch. Not anymore.
She pulled away and rubbed my shoulders, showing off the tears that were streaming down her face. She’s crying? “I didn’t mean any word of what I said yesterday,” her voice cracked. “I was angry, but not at you.”
I just stood there, silently trying to figure out what changed her mind. I told her before that I tried to kill myself; that didn’t stop her from being so cruel. Then, she sees me run out with a knife and she suddenly pities me? I’m more confused than I’ve ever been in my life.
“Come in,” she lightly pushed me towards the door. I was hesitant at first, but I obeyed and sat on a barstool in the kitchen. She joined me in the room and leaned on the counter, “Can I get you anything? Tea? Soda? Fruit? We have pineapple and I know you love it.”
“No,” I snapped. She’s finally acting like I’m her daughter and I feel pissed off. All these years...she’s never offered me a drink or food since I started middle school. How did she know I love pineapple anyways? She never cared and she never seemed to notice a thing I did or said. This is honestly fucking ridiculous.
My father sat down on the barstool next to me, “I know you don’t want to, but you need to listen to what she has to say.”
I scoffed, “You’re damn right I don’t want to. And why should I listen to her? She never heard what I had to say while I said it.”
“I deserved that,” she sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. “Iris, I never meant to hurt you. It’s true, your father and I didn’t really plan you, but you’re no mistake to me.” She took my hand in her’s but I quickly pulled away. “Please don’t be like this,” her voice broke again.
“All this time, I’ve always tried to get you to see things the way I view it,” I gritted my teeth trying to fight my own pained tears. “I’ve tried so many times. I even gave you my fucking laptop that holds everything I’ve ever been through. You still didn’t see it. What fucking changed your mind?”
“Honestly, your friend did,” she curled her lips and released a few more tears.
Wait? Friend? “What friend?”
My dad snapped his fingers in search of the name in his head. “I think it was Harry. Ah yes, the boy you mentioned in your writings.”
Harry? Well, that explains why he was all flustered when I brought up him magically being in boxers. He left to confront my parents and when he came back, he undressed before climbing back in bed with me. “What did he say?” I investigated further.
“He made me relive everything,” she spoke. “He was quite rude, honestly. It was foolish of him to come barging in here and screaming at us about what bad parents we are. Yet, he is right in the same sense that he was wrong. I saw it all, Iris, I just didn’t see it.”
“What does that even fucking mean?” I waved my hands.
She sighed, “I saw the bruises on the back of your legs, I just didn’t think anything of it. When the principal said you were raped, all I could think was ‘my daughter wouldn’t just get raped and not tell me’. Yeah, it was stupid. I thought you had to have pulled a prank and just didn’t want to tell me. The bruises on your face, you never told me someone hurt you. You just showed up with them and I just thought maybe it was makeup. You didn’t tell me these things until the day that boy was here. Iris, I honestly just didn't think any of those things could ever happen to my girls.”
Her excuses are the worst. In fact, they’re bullshit. She doesn’t even really have an excuse. She did it. It happened and there’s no taking it back.
“When your father and I read all the things you wrote, I just wanted to believe it was all fake. I wanted to believe that you never went through all of that by yourself. Meadow, I was mad at myself, not you.”
And she brings my middle name into this. Yes, it’s fucking Meadow. Iris…Meadow. She loves nature, can’t you tell? I mean one of my sister’s names is Skye. Brielle’s middle name is Rain. Is this normal? Probably…
“I’ve never been mad at you. I wanted to blame someone else, and I shouldn’t have. I never should have blamed you for anything. This was all my fault. I should have been there for you.”
“And I should be home more so I’m there for you,” my father added.
“I should’ve believed you,” she sobbed. “I’m a horrible mother. You were right: you’ve been nothing but good to us, always doing what you were told and helping without being asked to help. You are probably the most grateful child in the house and you’ve had nothing to be grateful for.”
“Grateful?” I whispered, not exactly trusting my voice.
She slightly smiled, “I read that in your entries. I remember it word from word. ‘I appreciate that God has even given me a family. There’s tons of kids out there without parents or siblings even. I may never get the attention I crave, but I’m thankful my parents give me a roof to live under, a bed to sleep in, food to eat, money to spend, and a much needed education.’ You are more grateful than your sisters are of those things, and we’ve been treating you with such disrespect. It’s admirable, really.”
Hearing those words out loud made sudden tears fall down my cheeks. I always was happy for that, I just wished I had more. I thought maybe that was too greedy of me. Not everyone gets what they want and I figured my family was one of the things I’d never get back. And here we are, seemingly starting to mend things.
Janice…my mom…placed her hand on mine one more time, “I’m so sorry, Meadow.” She pulled me into a tight hug that I actually returned as I sobbed into her chest. My father joined in, wrapping his arms around both of us.
“We’re going to change things from here on out,” he said after we all pulled out of the hug. “You and your sisters are going to move back in here as soon as possible and we’re going to start acting like a family again. No more assumptions, no more neglecting, and no more running.” He said the last part to me.
I cleared my throat before speaking again, “Wait, so are you guys not getting a divorce?”
My dad nodded, “We never really sat down and tried talking things through, and lately we’ve been doing that, so no. No divorce.”
I let out a big exhale and hugged them both tightly again, “I love you guys.”
Harry’s POV:
“Are you sure it’s okay? I felt weird with it on,” I whined to Perrie for the twentieth time over the phone. She pretty much picked out the whole outfit for me. I tried it on for my mum and Gem since I was forced to and they seemed to adore it too. I’m just not used to getting dressed up. Even for Riley’s dad’s funeral I just wore a black t-shirt and black sweats, but then again, I was in a wheelchair.
“Oh my God, Harry, yes,” she growled. “I get that you want to look good for her, but you sound like a girl who doesn’t think she has anything to wear when she’s got a closet full of clothes.”
“That was a long way to go for an insult,” I chuckled.
I could practically feel her glaring through the phone, “Shut up. Haz, you looked great. She’s gonna want to tear those clothes off of you.”
“We both know that’s not happening,” I sigh. As much as I would like it to, I'm a patient guy, for Iris anyways.
“Maybe not for a while, but she’ll come around. Trust me, a long wait is worth it.”
I groaned, “Perrie, I don’t need to talk about your’s and Zayn’s sex life.”
“Why not?” she chuckled. “You guys talk about it all the time.”
I snorted, “But its different coming from him. He does it more to brag. You talk about it like it’s special.”
“It is special. Once you’re with the right person, you’ll see it that way too. Who knows? Maybe Iris will be the one.”
“Maybe,” I couldn’t help but smile. I’m so glad she’s not able to see it. But it’s true…I’m falling for that Mercy deeper and deeper each day. There’s never been a girl I’ve cared about more. Iris is the first girl I’ve liked that I haven’t slept with yet. Usually I’d be gone once I’ve found out I wasn’t going to get in a girl’s pants, but with Iris it’s different. One reason is because she has been raped and is uncomfortable about the subject. Another reason is I’ve found that I didn’t care. For once, there’s more to a girl than just sex.
Knock knock!
“Uh, Perrie, I’ve got to go. Someone’s at my door,” I told her as I started walking to the door.
“Okay, later. Oh and Haz?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re date idea, it’s amazing. She’s going to love it.”
I grinned again, “Thanks Perrie.”
I hung up the phone and opened the door to see Iris standing before me.
“I think you’re a day early,” I smirked. I eyed her outfit from head to toe, “I see we match.”
She playfully rolled her eyes at me, “Shut up. We need to talk.”
“Uh oh, I’m in trouble,” I joke. I can tell by the look on her face, I actually am. “Uh, come in?”
“No, let’s talk out here,” she began walking away. Um, okay… I shut the door and followed her to the driveway.
“I see you don’t have your crutches,” she curls her lips.
I tried shaking off my confusion, “I uh, yeah. My leg doesn’t hurt that much today.”
She raised a brow, “That much?”
“I…” I paused and sighed. “Can you just tell me what you came here to say? You’re killing me.”
She started pacing as she twirled one of her curls with her finger and bit her lip. I could tell she was contemplating something, but I wasn’t sure what it was.
“I came here to scold you,” she finally said as she pointed her hand at me, before slapping it against her thigh and planting it there. “You yelled at my parents.” Oh.
I stayed quiet as I stared down at my shoes. They are very clean for being white shoes.
“I’m supposed to be mad,” she grumbled. Supposed to be? “Furious, really.”
I noticed her small feet step next to mine before I felt her wrap her arms around my waist. Uh, what?
“I can’t be mad at you because it worked,” she sighed.
I rested my chin on her head and held her tightly against me, “It did?”
She nodded against me, “I finally have them back and it’s all thanks to you. So, thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” I said, but it sounded more like a question. I honestly was expecting this to go so badly.
She lifted her head from me and shot me a glare, “If you do that again, I’ll kill you.”
I chuckled, “I won’t yell again as long as they keep their shit together.” She shook her head but a chuckle fell from her perfect lips.
We stayed standing in my driveway, hugging for the longest time.
“Harry?” she lifted her head from my chest again.
“Hm?” I looked down at her and I noticed she was teary-eyed. She wasn’t sad though. In fact, she had the brightest smile on her face.
“They told me they loved me,” she sniffled and giggled a bit.
I wiped away the tear that managed to escape her glimmering eyes, before kissing her forehead. “What did I tell you, Angel? They love you with all their hearts.”
Notes
Sorry I didn't update yesterday, I'm still not feeling well. I promise later I will post a long update(:
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11/18/17