Mistreated
Lights
Saturday October 19th
Iris’s POV:
I left Perrie’s house in the morning and went to my house to grab my laptop and iPod charger. I was dreading walking in because…well let’s face it, I don’t matter to my family.
“Sup Freak?” Brielle, my sister, asked as I walked through the front door. She was sat at the kitchen counter eating an apple. I shot her a fake smile and made my way to the stairs. “Mom’s looking for you.”
“She is?” I turned back towards her.
She shrugged, “Yeah and she is mad at you.”
Disappointment washed over me. I thought maybe there was a slight possibility that she was worried about me, but no. This is about her groceries. “Okay.”
Skye, my oldest sister, walked in and rolled her eyes at the sight of me, “Were you trying to starve us all last night?”
“Sorry,” I frowned and began walking towards the stairs again.
I overheard Skye chuckling to Brielle, “Mom’s so going to kill her.” I hope so.
“You didn’t go to the grocery store like I asked you to and you didn’t even come home!” my mom yelled.
I was sitting in the same place I’m always at when she yells at me, the window seat. I tuned her out as I stared out at the window. It was so sunny, and so beautiful outside. To me, the sun’s shining rays represent warmth and happiness. Lately I’ve been feeling so cold and tired since I’m alone in this world now. Yeah, Perrie helped me, but how do I know she’s not just trying to make herself look good? I don’t. The sun calms me, it makes me feel like everything’s going to be okay and I just want to be out there enjoying it.
“Are you even listening to me?” my mom snapped me out of my thoughts. “That’s it! I’m tired of making excuses for you! I’m done with you! I’m locking you in here until dinner!” She stomped out of the room and slammed the door.
“No!” I screamed while running to the door and grabbing the doorknob. I got there just after she clicked the lock. “No, please!” I just want to go outside.
“I’ll send one of your sisters to get you later,” she said through the door. I listened as she walked away, the sound of her footsteps slowly fading.
I cried, “No, please don’t leave me here.” Why did she have to choose today of all days to lock me in my room? Why does my door even lock like that?
I pulled the blankets off of my bed and wrapped them around me after sitting back in the window. If I could open my window, I would escape that way, but this window is like a decoy; there’s no latches or any other way to open it.
Hours went by. I never felt so lonely in my life. I thought I was in a bad place before Harry, but it was nothing compared to now. I’m going crazy, I can feel it. I want to die but it’s like God won’t let me. I believe there is a God, but why would he let me live like this?
After a while, the sun started to disappear behind the mountains in the distance. “No!” I slammed my hand against the window. “No, no, no, no! Stop!” The sun is the cure to my craziness and it’s leaving me just like everyone else. The room only got darker and darker by the minute.
Panicking, I ran over to my light switch and flicked it on. Just lights in general could help, right? To add to this disaster, the light bulbs on my ceiling fan were burnt out. I used to like the dark so I didn’t care that they went out. Usually I’m the one who changes my own light bulbs, so I know I have some in a box in my closet. I practically sprinted into the closet and grabbed the box in lightning speed, tossing it onto the floor. I rummaged through the box, but there were no light bulbs which is another explanation as to why I haven’t changed them yet.
I found the next big thing: Christmas lights. Every year, I decorate my room with them since my family doesn’t decorate the house. I plugged them into an outlet and stared at the beautiful lights. They were calming me down, but not enough. I noticed the lights were warm so I began wrapping them around myself. I finally sat down with my back against my bland bedroom wall. I soaked in all the warmth and soon I found my heart rate slowing down. It’s helping.
What am I going to do when these bulbs burn out? It’s not like my parents are going to give me any more money now. I’ve lost my mother’s trust. I wish she knew my whole story. Oh wait, she pretty much does, but she thinks I’m a lying attention seeker just like everyone else.
Every emotion was driving my brain crazy. All I wanted to do was cut again, but I have nothing sharp in here. Then it hit me: my light bulbs. They don’t work anyways; might as well put them to good use. I stood to my feet and grabbed a heel of mine that was laying on the ground. All I have to do is break the bulb and then voila, I have something sharp. I tried standing on my tiptoes and swinging the heel at the bulb, but I was too short. I improvised and threw the heel at the bulb, causing it to shatter to pieces. I got on my knees and searched for the biggest piece. Once I was satisfied with an option, I unwrapped my already wounded wrist. I already started on this one, so I might as well continuing scarring it.
Just as I was about to bring the glass to my wrist, Brielle walked in. “Dinner’s read-“ she froze in place. She scanned the floor of my room, examining every piece of broken glass and finally landing her sights on me. Her eyes widened when she saw me holding a chunk just over my flesh.
“I need it,” I whispered to her. She quickly ran out of the room at my words. I stared down at my wrist. Should I still do this? I'm embarrassed that she saw, but I still wanted to feel numb.
After minutes of trying to decide, Skye walked into the room with a broom and dustpan. She pulled the broken glass out of my hand and placed it on the floor with the rest of them before she swept it all up. Brielle came in with three t.v. dinner trays, balancing one on her arm. She set them down in front of me and sat down by my side. After Skye threw away the glass, she joined us on the floor. I stared at them in shock as they began eating.
“What are you waiting for?” Brielle questioned me. “Dig in.”
I hesitantly removed the tray from the floor and placed it in my lap. I slowly chewed my food as I continued to shoot my sisters puzzled looks. Why are they here? Why are they helping me?
“We’re not going to tell Mom or Dad,” Skye shrugged.
“Whatever this is…” Brielle half smiled. “We’re here for you.”
Do they actually care?
“What’s with the lights?” Skye tugged at them with a smile.
I took a bite of my food, “They comfort me.”
“This is actually a cool look,” Skye nodded in approval.
“I think I saw things like this on Tumblr,” Brielle grinned. “Want to see?” Still stunned, I nodded to her.
Skye stood to her feet and grabbed my laptop off my bed. My stomach churned as I watched her hand the laptop to Brielle. What if they saw all the things I wrote? I don’t feel comfortable with them using my computer, but at the same time, I couldn’t bring myself to tell them no. My sisters were actually being polite to me and talking to me. I can’t stop that, not when I’ve been feeling so lonely.
We spent the whole night chatting about social media and how stupid it is when people use it to fight with each other. I never really smiled like I did when Harry would cheer me up, but they were doing a pretty good job of keeping my mind off of things. I think I might actually have a relationship with them now. My sisters are finally my sisters. Who would’ve thought this would happen?
Iris’s POV:
I left Perrie’s house in the morning and went to my house to grab my laptop and iPod charger. I was dreading walking in because…well let’s face it, I don’t matter to my family.
“Sup Freak?” Brielle, my sister, asked as I walked through the front door. She was sat at the kitchen counter eating an apple. I shot her a fake smile and made my way to the stairs. “Mom’s looking for you.”
“She is?” I turned back towards her.
She shrugged, “Yeah and she is mad at you.”
Disappointment washed over me. I thought maybe there was a slight possibility that she was worried about me, but no. This is about her groceries. “Okay.”
Skye, my oldest sister, walked in and rolled her eyes at the sight of me, “Were you trying to starve us all last night?”
“Sorry,” I frowned and began walking towards the stairs again.
I overheard Skye chuckling to Brielle, “Mom’s so going to kill her.” I hope so.
“You didn’t go to the grocery store like I asked you to and you didn’t even come home!” my mom yelled.
I was sitting in the same place I’m always at when she yells at me, the window seat. I tuned her out as I stared out at the window. It was so sunny, and so beautiful outside. To me, the sun’s shining rays represent warmth and happiness. Lately I’ve been feeling so cold and tired since I’m alone in this world now. Yeah, Perrie helped me, but how do I know she’s not just trying to make herself look good? I don’t. The sun calms me, it makes me feel like everything’s going to be okay and I just want to be out there enjoying it.
“Are you even listening to me?” my mom snapped me out of my thoughts. “That’s it! I’m tired of making excuses for you! I’m done with you! I’m locking you in here until dinner!” She stomped out of the room and slammed the door.
“No!” I screamed while running to the door and grabbing the doorknob. I got there just after she clicked the lock. “No, please!” I just want to go outside.
“I’ll send one of your sisters to get you later,” she said through the door. I listened as she walked away, the sound of her footsteps slowly fading.
I cried, “No, please don’t leave me here.” Why did she have to choose today of all days to lock me in my room? Why does my door even lock like that?
I pulled the blankets off of my bed and wrapped them around me after sitting back in the window. If I could open my window, I would escape that way, but this window is like a decoy; there’s no latches or any other way to open it.
Hours went by. I never felt so lonely in my life. I thought I was in a bad place before Harry, but it was nothing compared to now. I’m going crazy, I can feel it. I want to die but it’s like God won’t let me. I believe there is a God, but why would he let me live like this?
After a while, the sun started to disappear behind the mountains in the distance. “No!” I slammed my hand against the window. “No, no, no, no! Stop!” The sun is the cure to my craziness and it’s leaving me just like everyone else. The room only got darker and darker by the minute.
Panicking, I ran over to my light switch and flicked it on. Just lights in general could help, right? To add to this disaster, the light bulbs on my ceiling fan were burnt out. I used to like the dark so I didn’t care that they went out. Usually I’m the one who changes my own light bulbs, so I know I have some in a box in my closet. I practically sprinted into the closet and grabbed the box in lightning speed, tossing it onto the floor. I rummaged through the box, but there were no light bulbs which is another explanation as to why I haven’t changed them yet.
I found the next big thing: Christmas lights. Every year, I decorate my room with them since my family doesn’t decorate the house. I plugged them into an outlet and stared at the beautiful lights. They were calming me down, but not enough. I noticed the lights were warm so I began wrapping them around myself. I finally sat down with my back against my bland bedroom wall. I soaked in all the warmth and soon I found my heart rate slowing down. It’s helping.
What am I going to do when these bulbs burn out? It’s not like my parents are going to give me any more money now. I’ve lost my mother’s trust. I wish she knew my whole story. Oh wait, she pretty much does, but she thinks I’m a lying attention seeker just like everyone else.
Every emotion was driving my brain crazy. All I wanted to do was cut again, but I have nothing sharp in here. Then it hit me: my light bulbs. They don’t work anyways; might as well put them to good use. I stood to my feet and grabbed a heel of mine that was laying on the ground. All I have to do is break the bulb and then voila, I have something sharp. I tried standing on my tiptoes and swinging the heel at the bulb, but I was too short. I improvised and threw the heel at the bulb, causing it to shatter to pieces. I got on my knees and searched for the biggest piece. Once I was satisfied with an option, I unwrapped my already wounded wrist. I already started on this one, so I might as well continuing scarring it.
Just as I was about to bring the glass to my wrist, Brielle walked in. “Dinner’s read-“ she froze in place. She scanned the floor of my room, examining every piece of broken glass and finally landing her sights on me. Her eyes widened when she saw me holding a chunk just over my flesh.
“I need it,” I whispered to her. She quickly ran out of the room at my words. I stared down at my wrist. Should I still do this? I'm embarrassed that she saw, but I still wanted to feel numb.
After minutes of trying to decide, Skye walked into the room with a broom and dustpan. She pulled the broken glass out of my hand and placed it on the floor with the rest of them before she swept it all up. Brielle came in with three t.v. dinner trays, balancing one on her arm. She set them down in front of me and sat down by my side. After Skye threw away the glass, she joined us on the floor. I stared at them in shock as they began eating.
“What are you waiting for?” Brielle questioned me. “Dig in.”
I hesitantly removed the tray from the floor and placed it in my lap. I slowly chewed my food as I continued to shoot my sisters puzzled looks. Why are they here? Why are they helping me?
“We’re not going to tell Mom or Dad,” Skye shrugged.
“Whatever this is…” Brielle half smiled. “We’re here for you.”
Do they actually care?
“What’s with the lights?” Skye tugged at them with a smile.
I took a bite of my food, “They comfort me.”
“This is actually a cool look,” Skye nodded in approval.
“I think I saw things like this on Tumblr,” Brielle grinned. “Want to see?” Still stunned, I nodded to her.
Skye stood to her feet and grabbed my laptop off my bed. My stomach churned as I watched her hand the laptop to Brielle. What if they saw all the things I wrote? I don’t feel comfortable with them using my computer, but at the same time, I couldn’t bring myself to tell them no. My sisters were actually being polite to me and talking to me. I can’t stop that, not when I’ve been feeling so lonely.
We spent the whole night chatting about social media and how stupid it is when people use it to fight with each other. I never really smiled like I did when Harry would cheer me up, but they were doing a pretty good job of keeping my mind off of things. I think I might actually have a relationship with them now. My sisters are finally my sisters. Who would’ve thought this would happen?
Notes
This is short, but I'm posting another short update soon. Expect another update within another couple of hours.
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11/18/17