Mistreated
Numb
Friday October 18th
Iris’s POV:
“What are you getting?” Harry puts his chin on my shoulder and reads the menu. Yeah, we have school today but we’ve been going to school every day and staying for the whole day so we’ve decided to celebrate and ditch. Seems legit, right? So here we are, at Denny’s.
“The Peanut Butter Cup Pancake Breakfast sounds really good.”
He grabbed the menu so it’d hide both our faces, “You know what else sounds good?”
I joked, “The Bacon Avocado Burrito?”
“Ha ha,” he laughed sarcastically before leaning in to kiss me, but his vibrating phone stopped him. He grabbed the phone from the table and looked at the message, “Oh.”
“What?”
“Riley finally wants to talk.”
I roll my eyes, “Even when we’re not at school she has to ruin something for me.”
“Oh sorry, were you actually hoping for that kiss?” he smirked.
“And that, Mr. Four Tits, is why you’re paying for the food.”
He chuckled and kissed me. “I’m meeting her after school.”
“Okay, works for me. My mom wants me to go grocery shopping,” I shot a death glare at the menu. She treats me with so much disrespect and then she expects me to do something for her.
Harry pokes my side, “Just don’t do it.”
“If I don’t then…”
“What?” he chuckles. “She grounds you and you sneak out like always?”
“I just have to, okay?”
He sighs, “Okay.” He knows not to push me any farther. Like I’ve said before, I always feel like I have to stay on my parents good side and that’s never gonna change. One day they’ll be grateful, they have to be.
We ordered our food and chatted a bit about what our lives would be like if his father wasn’t abusive and my life wasn’t so miserable. We came to the conclusion that life would suck if it was any different because otherwise, we would’ve never met each other. He’s so…perfect and I can’t wait to call him mine.
After hours of hanging out at the train track, school was finally over. Riley and Harry decided to meet in the school hallways since no one is usually in there after school. Since Harry left, I went to the grocery store at my mother’s request. She texted me a ridiculously long list. Do we not have any food at the house? So here I am, buying pop tarts and chicken and shit. What a stupid fucking list.
“Iris?” I froze at the voice that sounded behind me. I know exactly who it is. “Hey, it’s been so long,” he walked to the front of me so we were face-to-face. I shot him a fake smile and continued walking through the store. “What’s wrong?” he grabbed my wrist.
I yanked my wrist away, “Don’t touch me, Andrew.”
“I’m sorry,” he frowned. “How have you been?”
“How have I been?” Is he kidding me? “You fucking ruined my life!” My yelling caused people to stare.
He rubbed his neck, “I know. I feel really awful about it.” I rolled my eyes and began pushing my cart to the dairy section. Unfortunately, he followed me. “Can I make it up to you? Take you out or something?” I didn’t say a word. “Iris, I still care about you. Please give me a chance. What I did was fucked up.”
“You never cared,” I shook my head at him before looking back at the yogurt choices.
I started to open the door and grab some but Andrew closed it, “That’s not true. I liked you a lot. Things just got complicated.”
I scoffed, “Oh, is that what you call it?”
“Okay, I was a dick. I cheated on you with her. It was a mistake and I’m really sorry.”
I pointed to the yogurt, “Can I get some now?” He nodded and moved out of my way so I could do so. “Andrew, I’ve moved on, so no I won’t give you a chance. I wouldn’t even give you a chance if you were the only one interested.” I placed the yogurt in my cart.
“I meant I want to be friends,” he chuckled.
“Oh well in that case…” I made it appear as if I were thinking about it. “No.”
“Please? You can trust me. I’ll prove it to you right now.”
I crossed my arms, “And how are you going to do that?”
He leaned against my cart, “There’s something you should know about Harry.” I felt my heart drop to my stomach. I know what he says will be a lie, but I can’t help but feel scared whatever it is will be true. “He’s been fooling you this whole time.”
I shook my head, “No.” I don’t believe him.
“Harry has been working with Riley, Scott and I all along.”
“Stop,” I growled. This is fucking bullshit.
“Iris, he’s with Riley right now, joking about how pathetic he thinks you are.”
“Shut up!”
He stepped closer to me, sorrow in his eyes, “It all started after Riley dumped lasagna all over you. He stood up for you and scolded her so she thought he liked you more than her. She had him start proving to her that he wants her and only her.” I wouldn’t even make eye contact with him. “All of that ‘not touching you’ was Riley’s idea. He’s been making you feel like he’s on your side, telling you his sob stories, and giving you his iPod. Riley and Scott ‘sleeping with each other’ in Harry’s car, was Harry’s idea. They weren't even having sex; did you even look in the car? Harry holding off dating you is because he doesn’t want to be with you. He sent me here to get to you, but I wouldn’t do that. How do you think I knew you were here?”
No, this can’t be happening. Why does everything have to make sense? Why is everything sounding on point? This isn’t true…it can’t be.
“He wants to be with Riley,” he continued. “Iris, he doesn’t care about you. He’s been deceiving you this whole time. He's showing her that he doesn't give the slightest fuck about you. He’s manipulating you, all for Riley.”
Tears began falling from my eyes, “This isn’t true. You’re lying.”
“I’m so sorry Iris, I didn’t want this to happen. You’ve been through so much.”
“I…I have to go.” I left my cart and ran fast out of the store, hearing Andrew call out after me. He even chased me a bit but gave up when I picked up the pace.
I ran and ran until I was at Denny’s. I didn’t want to go to the train track. I didn’t want to think about Harry. Another person has picked me up only to push me back to the ground and stomp all over me. I found myself texting the last person I had:
To Perrie:
Meet me at Denny’s now. Please hurry.
I grew impatient waiting for her. Why am I even texting her anyways? She’s friends with Harry. For all I know, she could be in it too.
I found myself sneaking to the back of the restaurant. I noticed that the back door was open because someone was throwing out trash. The guy was so focused on throwing trash bags in the dumpster that he didn’t even notice I walked right into the building. I got down on my hands and knees and began my search, sobbing the whole time. I needed something sharp and fast. I spot a knife in the kitchen but it’s going to be impossible to get to it considering so many people were walking through it. Fuck it.
I ran to the kitchen as fast as I could and snatched a knife off of one of their counters. I wasn’t even sure if people saw me because I could only think of one thing. I was feeling so much pain emotionally that physical pain was the only thing that I knew would make it all go away. Pain or death. I took the knife and I cut my wrist. Just like that, Harry, Andrew, Riley, Scott and my family, all their faces faded away. I felt free from all that’s ever happened to me. My mind went numb. I could breathe again.
But reality hit me again, making my emotions flood back into my mind. I want to feel nothingness again, I have to. I take the knife and I cut again, just below the other wound. This time, it didn’t help. It just hurt like a bitch. I sobbed and cried. I hate being alone. I hate this feeling. I took the knife and began to cut again but someone grabbed it from me.
“No!” I screamed and reached for it. Someone else ran over and held me to the ground as I kicked and screamed. “Just let me die! Let me die!”
“Someone put pressure on her wrist!” a man cried out.
“Please,” I begged. “Please just kill me.”
Just then, a familiar girl came barging in. Perrie. “Oh my God, Iris!” She grabbed a bunch of napkins from one of the counters and held them to my wrist. “Someone help me get her to my car! Please!”
A man scooped me off the floor and raced alongside Perrie to her car. He placed me in the back and then complained about the knife I contaminated. I watched as Perrie threw all the money she had in her wallet at him and a card with her number on it, scolding him of even worrying about the fucking utensil.
“Please don’t take me to the hospital,” I cried as Perrie got into the driver’s seat.
“I’m not going to,” she snapped. “You’re going to see my mom.”
My lip trembled, “I have nothing left to live for.”
“Don’t say that,” her voice toned down a notch. “Just shut up and put pressure on your wrist.”
Her mom managed to stop the bleeding and gave me stitches. I guess I cut myself pretty deep. She wrapped the wrist with wrap so I wouldn’t mess with the stitches. Before I knew it, she heavily sedated me to calm me down. Is it even legal for her to have sedatives? All I know is that they’re not heavy enough. I can’t sleep and my mind keeps jumbling around everything that happened.
“I didn’t take her to the hospital because they’d put her in a mental institute!” I heard Perrie yell. Her mom seemed fine with that decision earlier, why is she mad now?
“Mercy!” Harry suddenly ran in and guess who was attached to him? Riley. Their fingers were tangled together and her arm was rubbing his in sympathy.
Tears fell down my cheeks again. “Get out,” my voice sounded in a whisper since I didn’t have enough energy to yell.
“Mercy what happened?” he released himself from Riley and walked closer.
“Please go away,” I cried.
“Angel,” he reached his hand out to caress me.
I tried moving away from him but I couldn’t move a muscle. My lip quivered in fear, “Get away from me.”
“Haz, I think you should leave,” Perrie put her hand on his shoulder.
“You’re the one who called me here,” he yelled.
She frowned, “That was before I realized why she cut herself.”
“You’re blaming me!?”
Riley tugged Harry’s jacket, “Harry, we should go.”
“No!” He faced me and softened his expression. “Did I do something?”
“You broke me,” I began to sob. “Leave me alone!” I finally managed to yell. He looked stunned and just froze in place.
“Let’s go,” Riley wrapped her arms around one of his and dragged him out of the room with him staring at me in disbelief the whole way out.
I sobbed harder once he left and was soon held in Perrie’s embrace, “Its okay. He’s gone. You’re okay.”
“It was all a lie,” I mumbled into her chest. She just shushed me and rocked us a bit. She wound up lying with me for hours, till I finally drifted to sleep.
Iris’s POV:
“What are you getting?” Harry puts his chin on my shoulder and reads the menu. Yeah, we have school today but we’ve been going to school every day and staying for the whole day so we’ve decided to celebrate and ditch. Seems legit, right? So here we are, at Denny’s.
“The Peanut Butter Cup Pancake Breakfast sounds really good.”
He grabbed the menu so it’d hide both our faces, “You know what else sounds good?”
I joked, “The Bacon Avocado Burrito?”
“Ha ha,” he laughed sarcastically before leaning in to kiss me, but his vibrating phone stopped him. He grabbed the phone from the table and looked at the message, “Oh.”
“What?”
“Riley finally wants to talk.”
I roll my eyes, “Even when we’re not at school she has to ruin something for me.”
“Oh sorry, were you actually hoping for that kiss?” he smirked.
“And that, Mr. Four Tits, is why you’re paying for the food.”
He chuckled and kissed me. “I’m meeting her after school.”
“Okay, works for me. My mom wants me to go grocery shopping,” I shot a death glare at the menu. She treats me with so much disrespect and then she expects me to do something for her.
Harry pokes my side, “Just don’t do it.”
“If I don’t then…”
“What?” he chuckles. “She grounds you and you sneak out like always?”
“I just have to, okay?”
He sighs, “Okay.” He knows not to push me any farther. Like I’ve said before, I always feel like I have to stay on my parents good side and that’s never gonna change. One day they’ll be grateful, they have to be.
We ordered our food and chatted a bit about what our lives would be like if his father wasn’t abusive and my life wasn’t so miserable. We came to the conclusion that life would suck if it was any different because otherwise, we would’ve never met each other. He’s so…perfect and I can’t wait to call him mine.
After hours of hanging out at the train track, school was finally over. Riley and Harry decided to meet in the school hallways since no one is usually in there after school. Since Harry left, I went to the grocery store at my mother’s request. She texted me a ridiculously long list. Do we not have any food at the house? So here I am, buying pop tarts and chicken and shit. What a stupid fucking list.
“Iris?” I froze at the voice that sounded behind me. I know exactly who it is. “Hey, it’s been so long,” he walked to the front of me so we were face-to-face. I shot him a fake smile and continued walking through the store. “What’s wrong?” he grabbed my wrist.
I yanked my wrist away, “Don’t touch me, Andrew.”
“I’m sorry,” he frowned. “How have you been?”
“How have I been?” Is he kidding me? “You fucking ruined my life!” My yelling caused people to stare.
He rubbed his neck, “I know. I feel really awful about it.” I rolled my eyes and began pushing my cart to the dairy section. Unfortunately, he followed me. “Can I make it up to you? Take you out or something?” I didn’t say a word. “Iris, I still care about you. Please give me a chance. What I did was fucked up.”
“You never cared,” I shook my head at him before looking back at the yogurt choices.
I started to open the door and grab some but Andrew closed it, “That’s not true. I liked you a lot. Things just got complicated.”
I scoffed, “Oh, is that what you call it?”
“Okay, I was a dick. I cheated on you with her. It was a mistake and I’m really sorry.”
I pointed to the yogurt, “Can I get some now?” He nodded and moved out of my way so I could do so. “Andrew, I’ve moved on, so no I won’t give you a chance. I wouldn’t even give you a chance if you were the only one interested.” I placed the yogurt in my cart.
“I meant I want to be friends,” he chuckled.
“Oh well in that case…” I made it appear as if I were thinking about it. “No.”
“Please? You can trust me. I’ll prove it to you right now.”
I crossed my arms, “And how are you going to do that?”
He leaned against my cart, “There’s something you should know about Harry.” I felt my heart drop to my stomach. I know what he says will be a lie, but I can’t help but feel scared whatever it is will be true. “He’s been fooling you this whole time.”
I shook my head, “No.” I don’t believe him.
“Harry has been working with Riley, Scott and I all along.”
“Stop,” I growled. This is fucking bullshit.
“Iris, he’s with Riley right now, joking about how pathetic he thinks you are.”
“Shut up!”
He stepped closer to me, sorrow in his eyes, “It all started after Riley dumped lasagna all over you. He stood up for you and scolded her so she thought he liked you more than her. She had him start proving to her that he wants her and only her.” I wouldn’t even make eye contact with him. “All of that ‘not touching you’ was Riley’s idea. He’s been making you feel like he’s on your side, telling you his sob stories, and giving you his iPod. Riley and Scott ‘sleeping with each other’ in Harry’s car, was Harry’s idea. They weren't even having sex; did you even look in the car? Harry holding off dating you is because he doesn’t want to be with you. He sent me here to get to you, but I wouldn’t do that. How do you think I knew you were here?”
No, this can’t be happening. Why does everything have to make sense? Why is everything sounding on point? This isn’t true…it can’t be.
“He wants to be with Riley,” he continued. “Iris, he doesn’t care about you. He’s been deceiving you this whole time. He's showing her that he doesn't give the slightest fuck about you. He’s manipulating you, all for Riley.”
Tears began falling from my eyes, “This isn’t true. You’re lying.”
“I’m so sorry Iris, I didn’t want this to happen. You’ve been through so much.”
“I…I have to go.” I left my cart and ran fast out of the store, hearing Andrew call out after me. He even chased me a bit but gave up when I picked up the pace.
I ran and ran until I was at Denny’s. I didn’t want to go to the train track. I didn’t want to think about Harry. Another person has picked me up only to push me back to the ground and stomp all over me. I found myself texting the last person I had:
To Perrie:
Meet me at Denny’s now. Please hurry.
I grew impatient waiting for her. Why am I even texting her anyways? She’s friends with Harry. For all I know, she could be in it too.
I found myself sneaking to the back of the restaurant. I noticed that the back door was open because someone was throwing out trash. The guy was so focused on throwing trash bags in the dumpster that he didn’t even notice I walked right into the building. I got down on my hands and knees and began my search, sobbing the whole time. I needed something sharp and fast. I spot a knife in the kitchen but it’s going to be impossible to get to it considering so many people were walking through it. Fuck it.
I ran to the kitchen as fast as I could and snatched a knife off of one of their counters. I wasn’t even sure if people saw me because I could only think of one thing. I was feeling so much pain emotionally that physical pain was the only thing that I knew would make it all go away. Pain or death. I took the knife and I cut my wrist. Just like that, Harry, Andrew, Riley, Scott and my family, all their faces faded away. I felt free from all that’s ever happened to me. My mind went numb. I could breathe again.
But reality hit me again, making my emotions flood back into my mind. I want to feel nothingness again, I have to. I take the knife and I cut again, just below the other wound. This time, it didn’t help. It just hurt like a bitch. I sobbed and cried. I hate being alone. I hate this feeling. I took the knife and began to cut again but someone grabbed it from me.
“No!” I screamed and reached for it. Someone else ran over and held me to the ground as I kicked and screamed. “Just let me die! Let me die!”
“Someone put pressure on her wrist!” a man cried out.
“Please,” I begged. “Please just kill me.”
Just then, a familiar girl came barging in. Perrie. “Oh my God, Iris!” She grabbed a bunch of napkins from one of the counters and held them to my wrist. “Someone help me get her to my car! Please!”
A man scooped me off the floor and raced alongside Perrie to her car. He placed me in the back and then complained about the knife I contaminated. I watched as Perrie threw all the money she had in her wallet at him and a card with her number on it, scolding him of even worrying about the fucking utensil.
“Please don’t take me to the hospital,” I cried as Perrie got into the driver’s seat.
“I’m not going to,” she snapped. “You’re going to see my mom.”
My lip trembled, “I have nothing left to live for.”
“Don’t say that,” her voice toned down a notch. “Just shut up and put pressure on your wrist.”
Her mom managed to stop the bleeding and gave me stitches. I guess I cut myself pretty deep. She wrapped the wrist with wrap so I wouldn’t mess with the stitches. Before I knew it, she heavily sedated me to calm me down. Is it even legal for her to have sedatives? All I know is that they’re not heavy enough. I can’t sleep and my mind keeps jumbling around everything that happened.
“I didn’t take her to the hospital because they’d put her in a mental institute!” I heard Perrie yell. Her mom seemed fine with that decision earlier, why is she mad now?
“Mercy!” Harry suddenly ran in and guess who was attached to him? Riley. Their fingers were tangled together and her arm was rubbing his in sympathy.
Tears fell down my cheeks again. “Get out,” my voice sounded in a whisper since I didn’t have enough energy to yell.
“Mercy what happened?” he released himself from Riley and walked closer.
“Please go away,” I cried.
“Angel,” he reached his hand out to caress me.
I tried moving away from him but I couldn’t move a muscle. My lip quivered in fear, “Get away from me.”
“Haz, I think you should leave,” Perrie put her hand on his shoulder.
“You’re the one who called me here,” he yelled.
She frowned, “That was before I realized why she cut herself.”
“You’re blaming me!?”
Riley tugged Harry’s jacket, “Harry, we should go.”
“No!” He faced me and softened his expression. “Did I do something?”
“You broke me,” I began to sob. “Leave me alone!” I finally managed to yell. He looked stunned and just froze in place.
“Let’s go,” Riley wrapped her arms around one of his and dragged him out of the room with him staring at me in disbelief the whole way out.
I sobbed harder once he left and was soon held in Perrie’s embrace, “Its okay. He’s gone. You’re okay.”
“It was all a lie,” I mumbled into her chest. She just shushed me and rocked us a bit. She wound up lying with me for hours, till I finally drifted to sleep.
Notes
Sad chapter, I was practically in tears when I wrote it.
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11/18/17