Bored and Broken
Fifty Three
September
Harry's POV
"Isn't it weird that you're not going back to school?" Gemma asks. "It's so weird not going back to class."
Gemma finished after the last semester she had and she's waiting another week before going back to London so she can spend some more time with my mum and me.
"Yeah, it is kind of weird," I agree.
"She umm...she'll be starting school today," she says carefully. My hand freezes for a moment before I continue flipping the eggs in front of me. I just nod in response. "When was the last time you spoke to her?"
I shrug. "A few weeks ago maybe."
Adie and I have been talking on and off, just to see how the other is doing. We talk on the phone about random stuff, but never about us, about our relationship. I know when I suggested this I meant it as a break, but it's starting to feel a lot more like a break up. I miss her, I miss her like crazy, but it's not as hard as the last time since she hasn't completely cut me out of her life. We're just...friends. Not as close as we used to be before we were dating, but I guess it's better than nothing.
"Harry, how long are you going to do this to yourself?"
"Do what?"
"Don't play dumb, curly. I know you miss her," she says, coming to lean on the counter beside me.
"Of course I miss her."
"Then why aren't you doing anything about it?"
"Because, Gem." She folds her arms and I sigh before continuing. "We're both better off. It just doesn't make sense for us to be together right now. The long distance thing didn't work for us. We were fighting too much, it was too hard to make it work."
"Yeah, but you guys are so cute together! I know you still love her."
"Just...can we not talk about this?" I ask, my voice strained. She sighs and nods her head, hugging me from the side.
"I'm going to go see what mum is doing."
"Okay."
Adison's POV
"Wow, that professor is insane."
"Yeah," I agree, laughing as we walk out of the studio. I decided to do a double major in visual arts and fashion design, since one is my passion and the other will be better for a career. I absolutely loved the class I took for fashion last semester. The professors for the visual arts department, though, are a little strange. Very out there.
"I'll see you after school?" Melanie asks me. I nod and she waves as she heads in the other direction.
I met Melanie last year; she's one of three other students in the same position as I am and we had three of our introductory classes together. I've made plenty of friends here, something I'm not really used to. It's nice. I finally feel comfortable with myself, confident in who I am. There's a tiny part of me that's missing, though.
As I'm walking I twist the infinity pendant around on my wrist so it's facing up. I still never take it off. Harry may have walked out of my apartment that day in the summer, but that doesn't mean we've moved on. I know I haven't. We still talk a fair amount, more than we did the first time. It's not enough, not by far. I love him and I think I always will, but this is just how it has to be this time. At least now we both had a hand in the decision. It's easier not to second guess it. Much.
After I've been to all my classes for the day I head back to my apartment, texting Mel to tell her that I won't be able to meet her right now. Being off for the whole summer really relaxes you far too much; I am not ready at all to be doing work again.
Once I'm back at mine and Gemma's apartment I flop down on the couch. Gemma has been home for almost three weeks now, and she's not coming back until the weekend. It's been nice having the place to myself, but I'm starting to get lonely. It'll be nice to have another person around again. My phone starts vibrating and I answer it without paying attention to who it is.
"Hello?"
"Adie?"
I shoot up into a sitting position and clear my throat, neatening my hair for some unknown reason. He can't see me.
"Harry?"
"Hi," he says shyly. Whenever we talk it's always awkward for the first minute or two while we take in each other's voices and the memories that go along with that.
"What umm...how are you?" I ask, smiling a little to myself. I rest back against the cushions and settle in while I get ready to take in his voice.
"I'm uh, I'm good. How are you? How was your first day?"
"It was good. I'm exhausted."
"Oh. Sorry, I can let you relax if you want," he stammers.
"No!" I half-shout. I close my eyes briefly in embarrassment and hear a low chuckle on the other end. "I mean...if you want to go that's fine but I can talk if you want."
"Alright."
I sit in silence for a few moments and just listen to his breathing. Harry seems to be doing the same, neither of us attempting to break the quiet. It's nice to just have his presence around me, even if it's only through the phone.
"How's the restaurant?" I ask finally.
"It's really good. Carl is a great teacher, he's letting me do a lot now. Not much of the important things, but I'm making lots of the side dishes now."
"That's amazing, Harry."
"Yeah, yeah. It's good, I really enjoy it. What have you been up to?"
"Umm..not a lot. It's good to be in school again, it gives me something to do. It's weird that Gemma's not here."
"Yeah, she asked me about you today."
We both pause and my heart starts beating a little faster. Asked about me, asked about me? Like...that way?
"Shit," he mutters. I laugh quietly to myself, realizing he didn't mean to say that. "I umm...I didn't....that just came out."
"It's fine, Harry." Another short pause. "So, how is everyone?"
"Good, everyone's good. People have left for school and stuff. Have you been in touch with anyone?"
"Just Louis and Eleanor really. Tyler has called a few times, but we haven't spoken much."
"Good thing you have lots of new friends there then, I guess." He laughs a little. It's so good to hear him laugh.
There's a few short knocks on my door before Sam and Zoe come walking in, and not quietly either.
"Is someone there?" Harry asks. I can hear disappointment in his tone.
"Who are you talking to?" Zoe asks, sitting directly beside me. I swat her hand away and she laughs. "Hi Harry!"
"Is that Zoe?" he asks, laughing. "Tell her I say hi. Adie, I'm going to go. I umm...I'll talk to you later, okay?"
"Yeah. Okay. Umm...bye Harry."
"Bye."
He's gone. I throw my phone onto the table and glare at her.
"What?" she asks. Sam sits in the chair on the other side of her.
"You cut her Harry time short," he says simply. "Those are rare occurrences."
"He's a guy and he understands, how do you not get it?" I tease half heartedly. I really could have used an hour of talking to Harry.
"I'm sorry. Look, maybe it's better, you know? You need to try to start moving on from him."
"I'm not ready," I say quietly.
"I know. I'm not trying to upset you, Adie. I'm just trying to look out for you."
"i know." I try to smile at her and she tucks me under her arm.
"You'll be fine."
"Yeah," I breathe. Maybe.
Gemma's Graduation (November)
Harry's POV
"Congratulations!" my mum shouts, beaming at Gemma. She envelopes her in a massive hug and Gemma laughs, teasing that she can't breathe. I take my turn next.
"So clever," I tease. She laughs a bit and ignores my comment.
"I can't believe it! I'm officially done!" She claps a few times and her smile gets wider when she looks behind me. "Adie! You came!"
My whole body freezes and she pushes past me to I assume where Adie is. Mum pats my arm in comfort before turning to say her hello's.
"Where were you? You should have sat with Harry and me," she says. I finally turn around. My breath catches in my throat and my knees feel week as soon as my eyes meet hers over my mum's shoulder.
"I got here a bit late so I just sat at the back," Adie says. She gives me a small smile and I try to return it, but I'm completely frozen. I haven't seen her since June. We've spoken, but it's different to see her in person.
I can feel my mum and sister watching both of us, waiting for something to happen. My body won't move though, and even if it would I have no idea what I would do.
"Hi," Adie says finally. Gemma punches my arm and I finally snap out of my staring. I glare at her and she gestures for me to say something.
"Okay, we're going to get a drink, we'll be back in a minute. Do you two want anything?" she asks. Adie shakes her head and I just stare at her again. Gemma and my mum both laugh a little before turning and walking through the crowd.
"It's good to see you," Adie says. She steps a little closer to me and I take in her full appearance. She looks amazing, even more beautiful than she used to be.
"Yeah, yeah you..you too," I stammer. She laughs a little and I run a hand through my hair. This girl is the only person that can make me feel awkward or unsure of myself in social situations. This never happens to me.
"Pull yourself together, Styles," she teases. I laugh and finally my heart rate begins to calm.
"How's school going?" I ask, shoving my hands in my pockets.
"It's good. Really busy, but I love it. How's the restaurant?"
"Going really well. I'm officially one of the chefs," I say with a smile. I look down at the ground and suddenly her arms are around me. It catches me off guard at first but eventually I wrap my arms around her waist.
"That's amazing," she says softly. I get goosebumps on my neck and she waits a few more seconds before releasing me. "I'm really glad for you, Harry. That's what you were working for, that's so great for you."
"Yeah." Horrible response, but I wasn't expecting that hug. She smiles at me and I can't help but return it. Suddenly Gemma and my mother reappear and our conversation is cut short.
"So Adie, will you be joining us for dinner?" Mum asks, putting her arm around Adie. She looks at me once more before shaking her head.
"No, you guys should go. I have some work to do anyway."
"Harry can take you," Gemma suggests. Adie's eyes go wide and my gaze snaps to my sister. What is she trying to do?
"No, you guys should go celebrate. I'll just walk back, it's not far," she stammers. Her eyes are wide and she seems nervous. Hell, I'm nervous.
"Don't be ridiculous, we can go out for dinner plenty of other times. I have some things I need to talk to mum about anyway, without a boy there. He's not invited."
My mouth drops open and I just stare at her. She's not even trying to be subtle about this right now.
"Alright, you two have fun," she says dismissively. "Adie, I'll be home in like two hours, okay?"
She quickly hugs me and drags my mother away before either of us can protest. Adie ad I stand amongst the noise and celebration for a minute before I slowly look back at her. She's staring after my family, lip taken between her teeth. Looks like I'm taking her home.
We walk in silence fore about ten minutes on the way home. It's not uncomfortable, but there's just too much to say. I don't think either of us even know where to begin. Maybe we should be trying to work things out, but I don't think that's what either of us want to be honest.
When we get to the building I hold the door open for her. She smiles at me and walks past, hitting the button for the elevator. I don't know how much more of this I can take. I may not know what to say, but I do know that ever since I saw her I wanted to kiss her. That hasn't changed at all.
When the elevator opens we both step in. As the doors slide closed I shove my hands in my pockets, leaning back against the wall beside Adie. She stands with her lip between her teeth again, watching the numbers of each floor light up. She suddenly turns to look at me, our eyes locking for a moment. I'm about to try to say something when the elevator dings, announcing us on her floor. She practically runs out of the elevator and I take a deep breath before following. She already has her keys out and is struggling to jam them into the door.
"Adie."
"I'm fine," she says. She sniffles and when I look at her eyes I see a tear forming.
"Ads," I whisper. She shakes her head and keeps trying with the key. "Adie, come on."
She finally gives up when I put my hand over hers. Gently prying the keys from her fingers I move beside her, sliding the key into the hole and pushing the door open. She rushes inside and pulls off her jacket, throwing it onto the couch. Apparently we're done acting like we're perfectly fine.
"Adie, it's okay," I console. She shakes her head and spins around.
"No, it's not. It shouldn't be this hard," she whimpers. "It still hurts to see you. Will that ever go away?"
"I...I don't know." She closes her eyes and I close the distance between us, taking her in my arms. She clutches at my shirt and cries against my chest. "Shh, it's okay," I soothe. "You're going to be fine." I smooth her hair with one hand while the other holds her tight against me.
We stand like that for a while, but she doesn't cry for very long. We just stand there together, neither of us making any attempt to fill the silence or fix our problem. That feel pointless, honestly. We would just be back at the same place we were in last time. That wouldn't make sense to go through all of that again only to end up with the same result.
"I miss you, you know," she mumbles. She tilts her head up to mine and I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, her eyes closing at my touch.
"I know," I agree. She smiles sadly. "Me too."
"Are you happy, Harry?" she asks softly. She reaches up and traces her thumb along my bottom lip.
"I'm trying," I whisper. Honestly, I am. Her fingers trace my jawline and up to brush through my hair. My eyes close now, and she sighs heavily. "Are you?"
"I'm trying," she says. I open my eyes and smile down at her. Her other hand raises and she runs the pad of her thumb over my dimple.
"Ads," I whisper. She examines every feature of my face while she waits for me to continue. "Can I kiss you?"
Her pupils dart back and forth between mine and after an eternity she nods her head slightly. Her hands slide down to my chest and I raise mine to either side of her face. She stares deeply into my eyes, my body melting slowly but surely. This probably isn't the best idea, but I need to.
Slowly my face tilts down to hers. I brush my nose against hers a few times and she smiles slightly. Her eyes flutter closed and as our lips finally meet mine does as well. He body melts against mine and I move my lips slowly with hers. We separate briefly for a breath but I'm quick to reattach them. It doesn't go deeper than a simple kiss, but it's enough to get my heart racing.
After another few minutes she puts her hands over mine and I take that as my signal to stop. I press my forehead to hers and listen to her quick breathing, slowly matching my pace to hers as I listen to the sound. Something so simple that I've missed so much.
"I'm going to go," I whisper. She nods and puts her hands against my cheeks one more time.
"Okay." She pecks my lips once more and then my cheek before stepping back. My hands drop to my sides and we just stare at each other for a moment.
"Good luck with everything," she says. She wipes one last tear from her cheek and smiles weakly at me.
"You too." My eyes flicker down to her wrist and my heart flutters at the sight of my bracelet. "Bye, Ads."
"Goodbye Harry."
I tear my feet from their spot and force myself towards the door, stealing one last glance at her before I shut the door. I go downstairs and sit on the front step while I wait for my mum and sister. Did I just make a huge mistake? Maybe she was expecting the same thing I was, for me to fight. But why can't it just be easy?
My family shows up and their eyes are saddened at the sight of me sitting like a pathetic loser on the steps by myself. They sit on either side of me and lean their heads on my shoulders, Gemma hugging my arm and my mum with hers around my back.
"Subtlety isn't a strong suit of yours," I say lowly to Gemma. She laughs and pats my leg.
"I was just trying to help. Thank you guys for coming. I'm going to go see if Adie is okay."
She kisses me on the cheek and gets up to say by to my mother. When she's inside I turn back to my mum.
"What do I do?" I ask quietly.
"Oh Harry." She puts an arm back around me and I lean my elbows on my knees. "You're going to be okay. She's your first love. I know this isn't helping, but I don't think you'll ever forget that."
Adison's POV
After Harry is gone I feel strangely peaceful. It's the sad kind, but I don't feel broken like I usually do. Maybe I can get through this. I don't know how, but somehow I will. I'll be okay.
Harry's POV
"Isn't it weird that you're not going back to school?" Gemma asks. "It's so weird not going back to class."
Gemma finished after the last semester she had and she's waiting another week before going back to London so she can spend some more time with my mum and me.
"Yeah, it is kind of weird," I agree.
"She umm...she'll be starting school today," she says carefully. My hand freezes for a moment before I continue flipping the eggs in front of me. I just nod in response. "When was the last time you spoke to her?"
I shrug. "A few weeks ago maybe."
Adie and I have been talking on and off, just to see how the other is doing. We talk on the phone about random stuff, but never about us, about our relationship. I know when I suggested this I meant it as a break, but it's starting to feel a lot more like a break up. I miss her, I miss her like crazy, but it's not as hard as the last time since she hasn't completely cut me out of her life. We're just...friends. Not as close as we used to be before we were dating, but I guess it's better than nothing.
"Harry, how long are you going to do this to yourself?"
"Do what?"
"Don't play dumb, curly. I know you miss her," she says, coming to lean on the counter beside me.
"Of course I miss her."
"Then why aren't you doing anything about it?"
"Because, Gem." She folds her arms and I sigh before continuing. "We're both better off. It just doesn't make sense for us to be together right now. The long distance thing didn't work for us. We were fighting too much, it was too hard to make it work."
"Yeah, but you guys are so cute together! I know you still love her."
"Just...can we not talk about this?" I ask, my voice strained. She sighs and nods her head, hugging me from the side.
"I'm going to go see what mum is doing."
"Okay."
Adison's POV
"Wow, that professor is insane."
"Yeah," I agree, laughing as we walk out of the studio. I decided to do a double major in visual arts and fashion design, since one is my passion and the other will be better for a career. I absolutely loved the class I took for fashion last semester. The professors for the visual arts department, though, are a little strange. Very out there.
"I'll see you after school?" Melanie asks me. I nod and she waves as she heads in the other direction.
I met Melanie last year; she's one of three other students in the same position as I am and we had three of our introductory classes together. I've made plenty of friends here, something I'm not really used to. It's nice. I finally feel comfortable with myself, confident in who I am. There's a tiny part of me that's missing, though.
As I'm walking I twist the infinity pendant around on my wrist so it's facing up. I still never take it off. Harry may have walked out of my apartment that day in the summer, but that doesn't mean we've moved on. I know I haven't. We still talk a fair amount, more than we did the first time. It's not enough, not by far. I love him and I think I always will, but this is just how it has to be this time. At least now we both had a hand in the decision. It's easier not to second guess it. Much.
After I've been to all my classes for the day I head back to my apartment, texting Mel to tell her that I won't be able to meet her right now. Being off for the whole summer really relaxes you far too much; I am not ready at all to be doing work again.
Once I'm back at mine and Gemma's apartment I flop down on the couch. Gemma has been home for almost three weeks now, and she's not coming back until the weekend. It's been nice having the place to myself, but I'm starting to get lonely. It'll be nice to have another person around again. My phone starts vibrating and I answer it without paying attention to who it is.
"Hello?"
"Adie?"
I shoot up into a sitting position and clear my throat, neatening my hair for some unknown reason. He can't see me.
"Harry?"
"Hi," he says shyly. Whenever we talk it's always awkward for the first minute or two while we take in each other's voices and the memories that go along with that.
"What umm...how are you?" I ask, smiling a little to myself. I rest back against the cushions and settle in while I get ready to take in his voice.
"I'm uh, I'm good. How are you? How was your first day?"
"It was good. I'm exhausted."
"Oh. Sorry, I can let you relax if you want," he stammers.
"No!" I half-shout. I close my eyes briefly in embarrassment and hear a low chuckle on the other end. "I mean...if you want to go that's fine but I can talk if you want."
"Alright."
I sit in silence for a few moments and just listen to his breathing. Harry seems to be doing the same, neither of us attempting to break the quiet. It's nice to just have his presence around me, even if it's only through the phone.
"How's the restaurant?" I ask finally.
"It's really good. Carl is a great teacher, he's letting me do a lot now. Not much of the important things, but I'm making lots of the side dishes now."
"That's amazing, Harry."
"Yeah, yeah. It's good, I really enjoy it. What have you been up to?"
"Umm..not a lot. It's good to be in school again, it gives me something to do. It's weird that Gemma's not here."
"Yeah, she asked me about you today."
We both pause and my heart starts beating a little faster. Asked about me, asked about me? Like...that way?
"Shit," he mutters. I laugh quietly to myself, realizing he didn't mean to say that. "I umm...I didn't....that just came out."
"It's fine, Harry." Another short pause. "So, how is everyone?"
"Good, everyone's good. People have left for school and stuff. Have you been in touch with anyone?"
"Just Louis and Eleanor really. Tyler has called a few times, but we haven't spoken much."
"Good thing you have lots of new friends there then, I guess." He laughs a little. It's so good to hear him laugh.
There's a few short knocks on my door before Sam and Zoe come walking in, and not quietly either.
"Is someone there?" Harry asks. I can hear disappointment in his tone.
"Who are you talking to?" Zoe asks, sitting directly beside me. I swat her hand away and she laughs. "Hi Harry!"
"Is that Zoe?" he asks, laughing. "Tell her I say hi. Adie, I'm going to go. I umm...I'll talk to you later, okay?"
"Yeah. Okay. Umm...bye Harry."
"Bye."
He's gone. I throw my phone onto the table and glare at her.
"What?" she asks. Sam sits in the chair on the other side of her.
"You cut her Harry time short," he says simply. "Those are rare occurrences."
"He's a guy and he understands, how do you not get it?" I tease half heartedly. I really could have used an hour of talking to Harry.
"I'm sorry. Look, maybe it's better, you know? You need to try to start moving on from him."
"I'm not ready," I say quietly.
"I know. I'm not trying to upset you, Adie. I'm just trying to look out for you."
"i know." I try to smile at her and she tucks me under her arm.
"You'll be fine."
"Yeah," I breathe. Maybe.
Gemma's Graduation (November)
Harry's POV
"Congratulations!" my mum shouts, beaming at Gemma. She envelopes her in a massive hug and Gemma laughs, teasing that she can't breathe. I take my turn next.
"So clever," I tease. She laughs a bit and ignores my comment.
"I can't believe it! I'm officially done!" She claps a few times and her smile gets wider when she looks behind me. "Adie! You came!"
My whole body freezes and she pushes past me to I assume where Adie is. Mum pats my arm in comfort before turning to say her hello's.
"Where were you? You should have sat with Harry and me," she says. I finally turn around. My breath catches in my throat and my knees feel week as soon as my eyes meet hers over my mum's shoulder.
"I got here a bit late so I just sat at the back," Adie says. She gives me a small smile and I try to return it, but I'm completely frozen. I haven't seen her since June. We've spoken, but it's different to see her in person.
I can feel my mum and sister watching both of us, waiting for something to happen. My body won't move though, and even if it would I have no idea what I would do.
"Hi," Adie says finally. Gemma punches my arm and I finally snap out of my staring. I glare at her and she gestures for me to say something.
"Okay, we're going to get a drink, we'll be back in a minute. Do you two want anything?" she asks. Adie shakes her head and I just stare at her again. Gemma and my mum both laugh a little before turning and walking through the crowd.
"It's good to see you," Adie says. She steps a little closer to me and I take in her full appearance. She looks amazing, even more beautiful than she used to be.
"Yeah, yeah you..you too," I stammer. She laughs a little and I run a hand through my hair. This girl is the only person that can make me feel awkward or unsure of myself in social situations. This never happens to me.
"Pull yourself together, Styles," she teases. I laugh and finally my heart rate begins to calm.
"How's school going?" I ask, shoving my hands in my pockets.
"It's good. Really busy, but I love it. How's the restaurant?"
"Going really well. I'm officially one of the chefs," I say with a smile. I look down at the ground and suddenly her arms are around me. It catches me off guard at first but eventually I wrap my arms around her waist.
"That's amazing," she says softly. I get goosebumps on my neck and she waits a few more seconds before releasing me. "I'm really glad for you, Harry. That's what you were working for, that's so great for you."
"Yeah." Horrible response, but I wasn't expecting that hug. She smiles at me and I can't help but return it. Suddenly Gemma and my mother reappear and our conversation is cut short.
"So Adie, will you be joining us for dinner?" Mum asks, putting her arm around Adie. She looks at me once more before shaking her head.
"No, you guys should go. I have some work to do anyway."
"Harry can take you," Gemma suggests. Adie's eyes go wide and my gaze snaps to my sister. What is she trying to do?
"No, you guys should go celebrate. I'll just walk back, it's not far," she stammers. Her eyes are wide and she seems nervous. Hell, I'm nervous.
"Don't be ridiculous, we can go out for dinner plenty of other times. I have some things I need to talk to mum about anyway, without a boy there. He's not invited."
My mouth drops open and I just stare at her. She's not even trying to be subtle about this right now.
"Alright, you two have fun," she says dismissively. "Adie, I'll be home in like two hours, okay?"
She quickly hugs me and drags my mother away before either of us can protest. Adie ad I stand amongst the noise and celebration for a minute before I slowly look back at her. She's staring after my family, lip taken between her teeth. Looks like I'm taking her home.
We walk in silence fore about ten minutes on the way home. It's not uncomfortable, but there's just too much to say. I don't think either of us even know where to begin. Maybe we should be trying to work things out, but I don't think that's what either of us want to be honest.
When we get to the building I hold the door open for her. She smiles at me and walks past, hitting the button for the elevator. I don't know how much more of this I can take. I may not know what to say, but I do know that ever since I saw her I wanted to kiss her. That hasn't changed at all.
When the elevator opens we both step in. As the doors slide closed I shove my hands in my pockets, leaning back against the wall beside Adie. She stands with her lip between her teeth again, watching the numbers of each floor light up. She suddenly turns to look at me, our eyes locking for a moment. I'm about to try to say something when the elevator dings, announcing us on her floor. She practically runs out of the elevator and I take a deep breath before following. She already has her keys out and is struggling to jam them into the door.
"Adie."
"I'm fine," she says. She sniffles and when I look at her eyes I see a tear forming.
"Ads," I whisper. She shakes her head and keeps trying with the key. "Adie, come on."
She finally gives up when I put my hand over hers. Gently prying the keys from her fingers I move beside her, sliding the key into the hole and pushing the door open. She rushes inside and pulls off her jacket, throwing it onto the couch. Apparently we're done acting like we're perfectly fine.
"Adie, it's okay," I console. She shakes her head and spins around.
"No, it's not. It shouldn't be this hard," she whimpers. "It still hurts to see you. Will that ever go away?"
"I...I don't know." She closes her eyes and I close the distance between us, taking her in my arms. She clutches at my shirt and cries against my chest. "Shh, it's okay," I soothe. "You're going to be fine." I smooth her hair with one hand while the other holds her tight against me.
We stand like that for a while, but she doesn't cry for very long. We just stand there together, neither of us making any attempt to fill the silence or fix our problem. That feel pointless, honestly. We would just be back at the same place we were in last time. That wouldn't make sense to go through all of that again only to end up with the same result.
"I miss you, you know," she mumbles. She tilts her head up to mine and I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, her eyes closing at my touch.
"I know," I agree. She smiles sadly. "Me too."
"Are you happy, Harry?" she asks softly. She reaches up and traces her thumb along my bottom lip.
"I'm trying," I whisper. Honestly, I am. Her fingers trace my jawline and up to brush through my hair. My eyes close now, and she sighs heavily. "Are you?"
"I'm trying," she says. I open my eyes and smile down at her. Her other hand raises and she runs the pad of her thumb over my dimple.
"Ads," I whisper. She examines every feature of my face while she waits for me to continue. "Can I kiss you?"
Her pupils dart back and forth between mine and after an eternity she nods her head slightly. Her hands slide down to my chest and I raise mine to either side of her face. She stares deeply into my eyes, my body melting slowly but surely. This probably isn't the best idea, but I need to.
Slowly my face tilts down to hers. I brush my nose against hers a few times and she smiles slightly. Her eyes flutter closed and as our lips finally meet mine does as well. He body melts against mine and I move my lips slowly with hers. We separate briefly for a breath but I'm quick to reattach them. It doesn't go deeper than a simple kiss, but it's enough to get my heart racing.
After another few minutes she puts her hands over mine and I take that as my signal to stop. I press my forehead to hers and listen to her quick breathing, slowly matching my pace to hers as I listen to the sound. Something so simple that I've missed so much.
"I'm going to go," I whisper. She nods and puts her hands against my cheeks one more time.
"Okay." She pecks my lips once more and then my cheek before stepping back. My hands drop to my sides and we just stare at each other for a moment.
"Good luck with everything," she says. She wipes one last tear from her cheek and smiles weakly at me.
"You too." My eyes flicker down to her wrist and my heart flutters at the sight of my bracelet. "Bye, Ads."
"Goodbye Harry."
I tear my feet from their spot and force myself towards the door, stealing one last glance at her before I shut the door. I go downstairs and sit on the front step while I wait for my mum and sister. Did I just make a huge mistake? Maybe she was expecting the same thing I was, for me to fight. But why can't it just be easy?
My family shows up and their eyes are saddened at the sight of me sitting like a pathetic loser on the steps by myself. They sit on either side of me and lean their heads on my shoulders, Gemma hugging my arm and my mum with hers around my back.
"Subtlety isn't a strong suit of yours," I say lowly to Gemma. She laughs and pats my leg.
"I was just trying to help. Thank you guys for coming. I'm going to go see if Adie is okay."
She kisses me on the cheek and gets up to say by to my mother. When she's inside I turn back to my mum.
"What do I do?" I ask quietly.
"Oh Harry." She puts an arm back around me and I lean my elbows on my knees. "You're going to be okay. She's your first love. I know this isn't helping, but I don't think you'll ever forget that."
Adison's POV
After Harry is gone I feel strangely peaceful. It's the sad kind, but I don't feel broken like I usually do. Maybe I can get through this. I don't know how, but somehow I will. I'll be okay.
Notes
:(
coming to an end.
please keep commenting :) i want to thank you guys so much for the incredible feedback I've gotten on this story. makes my day <3
lovely story <3
9/22/14