Harry's POV

"Will you come back if we go to the beach house?"

Adie laughs against Niall's shoulder and nods her head.

"Yes, Niall. I'll come back."

"Good," he says. He steps back and ruffles her hair. She swats his hand away and moves on to say goodbye to Liam and Zayn. She didn't get extremely close with either of them, but they're all still friends so they came to say goodbye. Tyler is next, whispering something in her ear that I can't hear from where I stand. She holds onto him a little longer and he rubs her back soothingly. I can't believe she's leaving.

Surprisingly she moves to Caroline next instead of Louis. The two girls cry against each other and try to lighten the mood by poking fun, even though both of them are completely in tears. I can't hear what they say to each other either, but when Adie steps away she's wiping at her cheeks profusely to stop the wetness. I hate seeing her cry. It does strange things to me.

Adie tries to smile at Louis as she approaches him, but her bottom lip wobbles and she breaks down with her arms around his body. He pats her hair soothingly and I can tell he's doing his best to stay happy and light like he usually is. He told me himself that he sees Adie as a sister now. Somehow they managed to grow an incredibly close bond and I'm not sure how I missed that.

"I'll see you all the time," he tells her quietly. They're standing right next to me so I can actually hear what he's saying. His back is half turned towards the group and Adie's face is against his chest so people can't see her crying. "I won't let Harry visit you without taking me with him, how's that?"

"Not happening," I joke. Well..sort of.

"I'll hide in the boot of the car if I have to," he whispers. Adie laughs shakily. "You better come visit us. Try not to become one of those big city bitches."

Adie pushes at his chest and lightly whacks him. He laughs a little and helps clear her cheeks of some of the tears.

"I'm going to miss you," she says quietly. He nods.

"Me too. But I'm going to call and text and facetime so much that you'll be glad you're in London."

"You better," she mumbles, giving him one last hug. When they release each other I hold my arm out to her and she moulds against my side. Running my hand up and down her back to comfort her she tries to smile at our friends.

"Okay," she says shakily. She looks up at me. "I'm ready."

I'm not. My head nods as I move to open the door for her. Adie waves to the group before climbing in the car, the windows tinted a little too dark for them to be able to see her. I tell them I'll see them in a few days before stepping in and sitting beside her. She said I could take the passenger seat but I think she needs to be held right now. She doesn't protest, immediately wrapping her arms around my torso as she cries silently against my chest. My mum looks back with a sad smile before pulling out of the driveway. If she's this upset why is she leaving at all? I don't understand, it just doesn't make sense.

This has been a roller coaster of a day; this morning we took a quick shower before leaving the lake house. Adie was pretty quiet on the drive home, my fingers held tightly between hers almost the entire time. She seemed to be deep in thought, something I attributed to being worried about leaving. Though the thought was in the back of my mind, I convinced myself it wasn't because we had sex. I'm trying really hard not to let myself think that. It doesn't take long for Adie to stop crying, though she doesn't say much after she's stopped. I want to tell her that it's okay, that she can stay home if she wants. But I know that's not what she wants, it was just hard for her to say goodbye. I wish with everything in me that she would change her mind, but this day is hard enough. She doesn't need me making it worse.

"You okay?" I ask quietly. We had been driving for an hour and she still hasn't said anything. She nods and sits up a bit, wiping her cheeks. She told me she didn't wear makeup today specifically for this reason. As I watch her take my large hand in her small one flashbacks of last night enter my mind, gentle touches and needy kisses. The memory makes my heart race.

"Are you?" she asks, smiling slightly.

"Me? Yeah, why?"

"You're breathing just got weird," she says. My cheeks grow warm and she flashes a knowing smile at me. She leans in close and whispers in my ear. "I love you."

Goosebumps raised on my arms as she gently pressed her lips to my cheek. I look in the rearview mirror to find my mother smiling out onto the road. She could probably hear that. Oh well. I'm sure I'll get an earful on the drive back tomorrow.

---

Adison's POV

As we're carrying all the boxes up to our new place my heart starts to grow heavy. Doubts cloud my mind and I start wondering if I'm strong enough. Not to move, not that. I know I'm ready for that; I've never wanted something so much in my life.

Except maybe Harry. That's what's scaring me because I know that I need to let him go for both our sakes. But what if I can't do it? What if I'm not strong enough? After last night my feelings for him have only intensified and now the thought of breaking up with him makes me want to jump off a bridge. I know I need to think about this objectively and not let my feelings get involved, but it's almost impossible to do that. My feelings for him are the reason that I'm doing this and the reason I don't want to. If you love someone set them free, right? I can't be the one to hold him back anymore, I won't.

"Adie, you okay?" Gemma asks. I break out of my thoughts and try to smile at her. "It's okay to be nervous, you know."

"I'm not," I reply honestly.

"Then what's wrong?"

"I just...." I bite my lip and meet her worried gaze. I trust Gemma and I know she won't tell him. This has been like a weight on my chest the entire day and I need someone to try and relieve it. I abruptly take her hand and pull her into her new bedroom, which is the one equipped with a balcony. Once the door is shut I can't help the words form pouring out.

"I have to break up with Harry."

Her mouth drops open and I just stand there, letting the situation sink in. That's the first time I've said it out loud to someone. I definitely don't feel better.

"Wh....why? What happened?" she asks quietly.

"Nothing." My throat tightens and I take a deep breath to attempt to keep my emotions at bay. "He's been amazing. I don't know I just have this feeling..."

"You can tell me," she says, putting her hand on my arm. "I won't say anything."

"I feel like I'm holding him back," I finally admit. "He's been so good to me these last few months, but he shouldn't have had to deal with all of that. He's seventeen, he deserves to have fun with his friends and be reckless and young. Instead he's been sitting beside me all the time waiting for me to get better. Now I'm leaving and he's going to want to come here every weekend and I just feel like he puts so much energy into our relationship that he forgets to live his own life. I love him, but I feel like we've both forgotten how to be our own people, you know? And I can do that now, being here, but Harry isn't thinking like that. His only concern is seeing me as much as possible and just waiting until he graduates so he can come here too. He's not the same as he was before we started dating and it's my fault. I feel like he's completely changed and that's not right."

I take a deep breath and close my eyes when I'm finished my rant. It feels good to finally tell all of that to someone. A tiny part of me is hoping that she'll tell me I'm crazy and I'm overanalyzing the situation, but I don't see that happening. After another minute or two Gemma finally responds.

"That makes sense," she says quietly. "Adie, are you sure? I mean are you really sure? Because that boy loves you to death and I know that both of you are going to be devastated if you do this."

"I know," I agree. She shakes her head.

"No, I don't think you do. Adie, when you two became friends again there was this..this light inside Harry that I hadn't seen in a long time. He was getting excited about his life again and he finally seemed genuinely happy. He was just bored before. And you...I didn't know you well before you moved in but I can see the way you look at him and I know there's something there that isn't just naive teenage love, it's something real. Are you sure you're ready to give that up?"

Tears are brimming my eyes at this point. "It doesn't have to be forever," I whisper.

"That's how you have to look at a breakup. If you don't actually want to be without him forever then you shouldn't do this. It would just hurt both of you for no reason. Make sure you're ready to let him go, okay? If you do this it's your decision obviously, but just make sure you know."

"How?"

She smiles sadly and wraps her arms around me. I suddenly find myself wishing I had a sister of my own for things like this.

"You'll figure it out," she says gently. "Whatever you decide, I'll be sure to get some ice cream when me and mum go to the store."

"Okay," I say, laughing sadly. She releases me and goes back inside. My tears are wiped away and I take a few calming breaths before going back in. Anne and Harry are delivering the last of the boxes, now littered across the floor of our new home. Harry looks around sadly, resting his hands on his hips.

"Well, why don't you two start unpacking Adie's stuff," Gemma says, breaking the silence. "Me and mum will go get things to stock the kitchen with."

Before Anne can protest Gemma turns her around and pushes her out the door. I know that was probably for my benefit, but to be fair Anne has been trying to give us a lot of alone time as well. When the door closes Harry looks at it for a few seconds before turning his gaze back to me.

"What was that about?" he asks. I shrug and lean down to read the sides of the boxes, debating on what to do first. Each bedroom has a decently large closet and built-in shelving along the same wall. One of my boxes of books, pictures and that kind of stuff sits in front of me so I drag that to my room.

"Can you get my suitcases?" I ask Harry. Might ask well give him an easy task. He agrees and pulls two large ones into the bedroom, then disappears again to get the last smaller one.

"Maybe we should put the bed together," he suggests, pulling the suitcases into the closet. "You're supposed to sleep here tonight, right?"

"Right, that's a good idea."

He smiles and disappears to get more stuff. Harry is pretty handy with this kind of stuff. For some reason that surprises me, although I have no idea why. I help him bring in the few boxes that make up my bed frame. It's nothing special, just a metal square for my mattress to sit on; if I want to get a headboard I can do that later. We unpack all the parts and Harry immediately gets to work on it. I could not be more useless in this situation, so I open up my box and start pulling out my books and other things to adorn the shelves.

My gaze is constantly tugged towards Harry. His brow remains furrowed for most of the time as he works on the bed frame. This feels so normal. I can picture us doing this in a place of our own years from now. My stares lingers a little too long as I realize what I just thought and Harry catches me, a cheeky grin forming on his lips.

"What?"

I shrug and my face burns red as I go back to my box. Harry chuckles and sets his tools down, coming to stand behind me. His arms wind around my waist and he hides his face against my neck, inhaling deeply against my skin. I don't know how I'm going to live without this.

"I love you," he whispers, kissing my neck a few times. I close my eyes and lean back against his body. "Hey, what's wrong?"

My eyes open and Harry leans down beside me, his thumb brushing along my cheek. Shit.

"Nothing," I lie. I step away from him and lean down to get more stuff out of the box. "I'm fine."

"Adie, how many times are you going to lie to me?" he says sharply. "I know something is wrong, just tell me what it is!"

"I can't," I mumble. I have no idea what to do anymore. Despite the numerous items left lying in my box I go to get a different one, the silence is the room too stifling for me to handle. He follows.

"You can. Baby, just talk to me," he pleads. "You're freaking me out. Have I done something? Are you upset with me?"

"What? No, of course not." I turn and watch as he exhales, relieved by my statement.

"Then what?" he prods, stepping closer to me and tucking my hair behind my ear. I love it when he does that. "Let me help you."

"You can't," I whisper.

"If you just tell me then maybe I can," he argues. I shake my head and he puts his hands on either side of my face. "Not telling me isn't helping anything."

"I..." I stare up at him and his thumb swipes along my cheek. "I'm going to get another box," I say quietly. He sighs and drops his hands, allowing my escape. Apparently I'm not good at hiding my emotions.

Harry goes back to work on the bedframe and I take a few calming breaths before going back into the room with another box. He finishes quickly without another word and pulls my mattress into the room to place it on the frame. When he walks out a second time he doesn't come back for a while, so I go to the door so see what he's doing. He's leant against the kitchen counter, head hanging low and eyes pinched shut. I don't want to be the cause of this, it absolutely breaks my heart.

I slowly walk over to him and place my hand on his back, his muscles tense. He doesn't look at me but his body begins to relax a bit.

"I'm sorry," I say quietly. He slowly turns to face me. The intensity of his gaze burns through me but I find myself unable to look away.

"I don't understand what you're sorry for," he says. "I don't know what's happening."

"I know. I...we can talk about it another time."

"No, we can't. You-"

Anne and Gema walk in again, interrupting our conversation much to Harry's frustration. I breathe a sigh of relief and go back to my bedroom to keep unpacking. His clipped tone with his family tells me he's even more confused than before. He abruptly enters my room and takes the items out of my hands.

"Harry-"

"Tell me," he demands firmly. I blink a few times with wide eyes. "Right now, whatever it is just tell me."

Should I? Just get it done with, rip the bandaid off. But I love him. Maybe...no. I need to. I'll just say it and let things fall where they may.

"I think we should break up," I admit quietly. I quickly look down at his chest. The room goes eerily silent and when I look to my left I realize that Anne and Gemma are standing in the doorway. Anne looks shocked and Gemma just looks sad as she pulls the door shut to give us some privacy.

"No," he says finally. I look back up to see him shaking his head, curls bouncing across his forehead.

"Harry-"

"No!" he yells. I wince and he turns and runs his fingers through his hair. "You can't do this. You promised!"

"I know." I take a deep breath to try to keep myself from crying. He can't see how much I don't want to do this, he'll use that to change my mind. "It's just better this way."

"How? How is it better?"

"Because! Harry, you changed too much for me. I love you for being there for me, but you've had to deal with too much on my account. We're too dependent on each other, it isn't healthy!"

"I love you," he says desperately. "Of course I'm going to be there for you. We're not dependent on each other, we're in love."

"Harry, we both need to figure out who we are. You need to start doing things for yourself instead of for me and I need to find out who I am. It's just better if we do that separately."

"And when did you decide this?" he asks harshly. "Why are you the one that gets to decide what I need? Never once did you talk to me about any of this! If you needed space or something you should have just told me that. We don't need to fucking break up, Adie. I know you don't want that."

He stares at me, his eyes desperate for me to agree with him and say that I don't want it. That's what he needs to hear me say, that's what will tell him to keep fighting. But I can't let him keep fighting, not for me. Not anymore. He's done that enough and he deserves to be free from me.

"But I do," I whisper. His eyes squeeze shut and he covers his face with his hands. He starts shaking his head. "It's for the best, Harry. You can't see that now, but it is. You'll be fine, you'll be-"

"Happy?" he finishes. He steps right up to me, our chests almost touching. "Do you remember the way I was when you moved in? What makes you think I want to go back to who I was before? You see me changing for you as something negative, but I finally feel alive. Ads, I don't want to be happy without you and I don't think that I can be. Please, just don't do this." He places his hands on either side of my face and mine immediately overlap, clutching at his fingers. "I love you."

"Harry-"

"I love you," he repeats, pressing his forehead to mine. "Please, Ads. You promised."

"You'll be okay," I whisper. "You're going to be fine without me."

"No. I won't."

"Please try to understand. I...I want this," I lie. My voice breaks and I'm sure it gives me away. If hurting him is the way to make him see it, then I guess that's what I'll have to do.

"No. No, you love me, I know you do. You don't want this," he argues. I pry his hands from my face and take a step back. His eyes are red and glossy with tears.

"I do," I lie again. He steps towards me and I step back, hurt pooling in his eyes. His arms hang in defeat and we just stare at each other. I know what to say next to make him leave, to make him believe that I can't do this anymore. The next words are the hardest I've ever had to say.

"I don't want you anymore."

He just stares at me, not stopping the tears at this point. They start to fall down his face and I cross my arms over my body to hold myself together. I hate this. He abruptly turns and walks out of the room, straight out the front door and slamming it behind him. I collapse on my bed in a mess of tears and sobs. I had to. He wouldn't understand. He wouldn't have left. Those are the words I repeat over and over again as Gemma comes to comfort me, Anne running after Harry. I'm sure they won't stay now. I just broke both of us.

---

My eyes pry themselves open through the dried tears. there's a pillow beneath my head and a small blanket over my body. Through the window I see that it's dark now, meaning I must have been asleep for a while. I then remember the nightmare I lived through earlier.

"Hey," Gemma says sadly. She comes over with a cup of tea and hands it to me. "How are you feeling."

"Harry," I croak, my throat dry.

"He's gone," she says quietly. I shut my eyes and take a deep breath. That's what I wanted to happen. I can't be upset about that. "They went home."

"You're sure?" she asks, referring to me earlier decision. I nod my head and stare up at the ceiling. I need to let him go. I know that.

Now I guess we'll see if I can.

Notes

omggg :( so many tears.
so i dont really like how adie slept with him right before she left but i just felt like it needed to happen, you know? seemed like a good time to put it in there. and now im really sad.

i kept rereading to break up scene to make sure it was right and i almost cried every time. i dont know why i do this to myself.

anyway heres the most depressing chapter ever...hope you like it...

im going to start the next one right away. so if you guys comment like crazy i will update again tonight :)