May 20, a few weeks later

Adie's POV

It's been almost four months since my break down. Four months of finally dealing with my grief. Four months of pushing myself to try and get better. Four months of Harry sticking by my side. I am finally feeling normal again.

Well, as normal as I can feel. Since we live in such a small town everyone knows what happened to me. I can't walk around town with getting a few judgemental or sympathetic stares. Also, if things were completely normal I would be in school again. But I'm not. I also see a therapist now; Dr. Stanson was a psychiatrist so she helped a lot at first, but now that I'm feeling better I've started to see a regular clinical psychologist that specializes in grief counselling. That probably doesn't help with the fact that people think I'm crazy.

My birthday came and went on April 2; I didn't want to make a big deal about it.They brought me breakfast in bed before they left for work and school, and Anne, Harry and me just had a quiet night and ordered in Chinese. Louis and Tyler came over after dinner to watch a movie with us and then I opened presents. I insisted on not getting anything since they've all done so much for me, but Anne wouldn't budge and neither would Harry.

It feels like it's been years since I moved into Anne's home; so much has happened since my mother died. And now I'm going to be leaving again.

It didn't take long for me to decide to take the offer the school in London, much to Harry's disappointment. He doesn't like it, but he understand and supports me completely. He knows it's something that I need to do for myself, so I can move on with my life and figure out who I am. Staying in Holmes Chapel just wouldn't let me do that. I'm not sure what that's going to mean for me and Harry, especially since I'm moving in two weeks.

And he has no idea.

I know I should have told him, but every time I tried I just couldn't get the words out. today I have to, though. I only have two weeks left before I leave and he should know that so we can make the most of them. Harry has taken me out on a few dates since we got back from London. It's nice to finally be able to act like a real couple and not have to worry about Anne finding out. She still hasn't said that she approves of us being together, but I think she can see how much Harry and I need each other. Maybe they've talked about it, but if they have Harry hasn't said anything about it. Anne knows that I'm moving in June, so maybe that's why she hasn't said anything. I won't be living here anymore anyway.

Gemma decided to stay in London for the summer so we can live together and get settled in the apartment. Anne has used her lawyer skills to unfreeze some of my mother's assets so I don't have to wait until I'm 18; I don't want Anne to have to pay for my living expenses there too, and there's plenty of money for me to have. Everything is set. Now all I have to do is tell Harry.

A knock on the door stops my drawing. I'm the only one home right now, since Harry has football practice. I run over to the front door and swing it open, surprised at the person I see on the step.

"Hi Adie," Ashlee says. She smiles at me and rocks on her feet a bit. What is she doing here?

"Umm...hi," I greet. I look around a bit to see if there's anyone else here. "Not to be rude, but what are you doing here?"

"Is Harry home? I just wanted to ask him about something."

I shake my head. Why would she need to talk to Harry and what could be so urgent that she has to come to the house? Why not just text him.

"Oh. That's fine then, I can come back. How are you?" she asks, tilting her head the same way everyone does when they ask me that question. I can't help but roll my eyes. I've never had a conversation with this girl and she's the one that made out with Liam when he was my date to the formal. I know that she does not care how I am.

"You don't have to do that," I say blankly. She raises her eyebrows. "Pretend like you care, I mean."

"What?" she asks, taken back by my forwardness. Let's just say I'm not as shy as I used to be. I'm not afraid to say what I think anymore.

"Yeah, we're not friends and I know you don't care how I am. Harry should be back soon, you're welcome to wait for him."

"Oh, okay!" she says, stepping towards me. I hold my hand out to stop her. "I thought you said-"

"I meant out here," I say, smiling sarcastically. Her mouth drops open and I close the door in her face. That felt good.

What in the world is she doing here? I know Harry and her used to be friends, but she's one of Courtney's followers and he can't stand those girls. What could she possibly have to talk to him about? I walk over to the front window and pull the curtain back slightly. This girl definitely has balls. She's sitting on the front step waiting. What is going on?

I sit in the living room and wait impatiently for Harry to come home. When his car pulls up I look out the front window to see what he does. He doesn't notice her until he's halfway to her, and she stands to greet him. I see his face get angry and he takes a few quick steps towards her. He's angry? She tries to talk to him, but I can't hear what they're saying.

Against what is probably my better judgment I run to the front door and press my ear agains it to try and hear their conversation. Harry isn't yelling so I can't hear what he's saying, but he doesn't sound happy. Suddenly his voice gets much clearer.

"I'm not talking about this again, Ash. It didn't happen, I refuse to believe you. Don't come here anymore."

What didn't happen? Why is he so upset? The door suddenly pushes open and I fall back on my butt in surprise. Harry looks down at me and his eyes grow wide with worry.

"What were you...were you listening?" he asks harshly. I just stare up at him. Hard to deny it when I had my head pressed against the door. He bends down and helps me back to my feet roughly. "Well?"

"I umm...." I look down at his chest and try to come up with something.

"You were listening. What did you hear?"

"Was I not supposed to hear something?" I counter, looking up at him again. He bites his lip and stares at me for a few seconds before setting his bags down and walking to the kitchen. I am quick to follow. "Harry, why was she here? Why would she show up at our house?"

"Doesn't matter, Ads. Don't worry about it."

"Harry."

He starts digging through the fridge and I wait patiently for him to start explaining. He never told me once that he was speaking to Ashlee again. What would they have to talk about now? He sets a bunch of stuff on the island and starts making a sandwich for himself.

"Harry, what's going on?" I ask again. He rubs his hand over his eyes before finally looking at me.

"I don't know. She keeps trying to talk to me but I don't want to be friends with her again."

That's a lie. That's a straight up lie. He said he's not talking about this again which implies that they've spoken before, and about something in particular. And it must be about the thing he refuses to believe happened.

"Come on, Harry. You know I was listening. You're lying."

"I'm not," he says simply. I fold my arms over my chest and he slowly goes back to making himself food.

"If there's something you need to tell me now would be the perfect time," I say quietly. He pauses and slowly looks back up at me. My palms get sweaty and my heart beats faster. There is something, now I know that there is. "Just tell me."

"There's nothing to tell," he says nervously.

"You're lying, I know you are! Look, whatever it is you can tell me. I can handle it," I say firmly, walking around the island to stand beside him. He shakes his head.

"No you can't."

What...what does that mean? So now he confirmed he's lying and that something happened that I don't want to hear. What could...

"Harry...what did you..." I take step back from him and he continues watching me with a nervous expression. I harden my gaze and try to look confident. "Whatever you're keeping from me, just tell me. Right now. I know you're lying and that will probably make me more upset that if you just spit it out."

"I can't tell you," he says, shaking his head.

"Can't or won't, because those are two very different things. Look, I'm sure whatever I'm imagining in my head is worse than what actually happened."

"Probably not," he mutters. His eyes go wide and he looks away from me, like he didn't mean to say that. My stomach drops and my whole body feels cold. What did he do?

"If you're not going to tell me that I'll ask her myself," I whisper. I turn and start towards the door, but Harry's arm wraps tightly around the upper section of my arm. I turn back to see a terrified expression on his face.

"Ads, don't," he pleads. "It's nothing, I promise. Just stay here. Please, just stay here with me."

"Let go of me, I need to find out whatever it is you aren't telling me!" I say, my voice raised. His expression turns angrier.

"No! No, I'm not letting you leave this house. You're staying here."

"Harry stop!" I yell. "You're hurting me!"

His eyes go wide and he releases my arm, staggering back a few steps. I rub my arm where he was grabbing it. I hope that doesn't bruise. We stand there in silence for a few minutes. Harry would never intentionally do anything to hurt me, I know that. I'm not afraid of him. Whatever just happened doesn't scare me because he hurt me, it scares me because he so badly doesn't want me to find out what he's hiding that he hurt me. What could he possibly be keeping from me? My mind is going to the absolute worst places right now.

Without another word I turn and walk to the door, sliding on my shoes and getting the keys for my car. Harry doesn't try to stop me this time. Once I pull out of the driveway I look in my rearview mirror, inhaling deeply when I see Harry's car pull out as well. He follows me the whole way, my phone buzzing uncontrollably in the cupholder next to me.

Harry's POV

Where the fuck is she going? This isn't the way to Ashlee's house. How would she even know where Ashlee lives? She wouldn't. So where is she going now? I continue to drive behind her, rolling through stop signs a little too quickly so I don't lose her. I get really nervous when she pulls onto Louis' street. Louis loves Adie; I don't think he'll lie to her, even for me. He says he knows what happened, but I didn't let him tell me. I don't want to know, that way I can't lie when Adie asks me what I remember. Nothing. That's what I remember. And I want it to stay that way. If I did kiss Ashlee, then I don't want to know about it.

She pulls up against the curb in front of Louis' house and gets out of her car, not looking at me as she makes her way to the front door. I run after her but she doesn't acknowledge me. I reach for her arm, but then I remember the dick move I pulled back at the house. I don't need her to be afraid of me on top of everything else, so I grab her hand instead.

"Ads, please don't do this," I say desperately. She looks back and forth between my eyes.

"I won't." I breathe a sigh of relief. "I won't have to if you tell me yourself."

My fear is back when those words leave her mouth. I don't know how she got so daring all of the sudden, but lately she just says whatever she wants. She's not afraid to speak her mind, something that she never really did before. She's not afraid of much it seems.

"I...I can't," I whisper. She closes her eyes briefly and pulls her hand out of mine. She turns and walks up to the front door, knocking a few times and waiting. One of Lou's sisters answers the door, the oldest one. She looks confused; she's probably never met Adie. She looks over at me and blushes; another one with a crush on me. I wave at her and she looks back at Adie, who says something I can't hear. Charlotte looks at me once more before disappearing into the house. Adie turns more away from me and I see her run her tiny hand through the long hair to push it back from her face. I don't know why, but I can't move right now.

Louis appears in the doorway with a smile on his face. Adie says something to him and it disappears when he looks at me. Adie looks slightly over her shoulder, but not enough for her to look me in the eye. I finally knock some sense into myself and make my legs move. I walk up to the two of them.

"Adie, you can't bring him into this," I plead. She looks at my chest and bites her lip.

"Harry, can I talk to you for a second?" Louis asks.

"No," Adie butts in. "You're not discussing this without me. I want to know what's going on and one of you is going to tell me. Now."

Louis looks at me and I stare at Adie. I can't tell her. I can't...Louis can't be here when we talk about this. If he's not then I can just honestly say that I don't remember if it happened. Louis just can't be there to confirm if I did or not.

"Okay Ads, I'll tell you," I give in. She looks up at me. "Please just come home with me. I don't want to talk about this here."

"Why? Just tell me, it's not a big deal. We're both friends with Louis, he can hear this conversation."

Why is she being so fucking difficult? I look at Louis and he just shrugs. He steps outside and pulls the door shut, walking over to the patio set on the side of the porch. Adie follows him and I reluctantly take my own seat. I really don't want to have this conversation right now. I nervously run my hands through my hair and Adie just sits patiently across from me, waiting for me to say something.

"So, remember the party we went to Adie? While you were...when you were sad and we all made Harry come with us?" Louis says. Adie nods her head. "Well...Harry got really drunk and he doesn't remember that night."

"That's it?" she asks. I look at Louis and he grimaces slightly.

"Harry," Louis says, encouraging me to speak. I close my eyes for a moment and take a deep breath.

"No, that's not it," I begin quietly. I look down at the floor, leaning my elbows on my knees while I explain myself. "I got really drunk and...well Ashlee said...she told me that...I don't know if it's even true, I can't remember it happening."

"Harry, what are you saying?" Adie asks, her voice shaky. She can see where this is going. Fuck. Fucking fuck.

"Ashlee said...she said that we kissed," I admit quietly. I slowly lift my eyes to her and instantly wish that I hadn't. Her mouth drops open for a minute before she quickly snaps it shut. Her eyes start to tear up and she seems to shrink back in her chair. She looks at Louis for a moment and then back at me.

"What-" she clears her throat. "You're saying you don't remember? So you don't know if it's true?" I shake my head slowly and then she looks at Lou. "Do you?"

Louis scratches the back of his head and looks at me. After a moment he sighs and shakes his head.

"No," he says quietly. "I don't know."

What? I look nervously at Adie; she nods her head and stands up. I get up as well and follow her off the porch.

"Where are you going?" I ask. She doesn't answer, just keeps walking. "Ads, talk to me."

"I can't," she says, spinning around. Tears are rolling down her cheeks and the sight of her breaks my heart. "I can't, Harry. Not right now."

"Ads, come on," I beg, stepping closer to her. "Don't leave, not like this. Please, come home with me."

She shakes her head as the tears continue to fall. "I need to think." A lump forms in my throat and she looks away from my eyes. "I don't....I'm not sure what to do."

"Do? There's nothing to do, there's nothing to think about! Ads, please. It's not true, it can't be." I step forward and she flinches, but doesn't step away. I swallow hard and try to get rid of the lump in my throat. "Please, you have to believe me."

"You should have told me," she whispers. "You should have told me this two months ago when it happened. You lied, Harry."

"No," I argue, shaking my head. I reach out for her but she pulls away. "I didn't, I just didn't know how to tell you. If it's not true then there's nothing to tell!"

"But you don't know if it's not true!" she says, louder this time. She wipes her tears away quickly. "I need to go."

"Ads," I whisper, pleading with her. "Please..."

"I need to go," she repeats, taking a few steps back. she looks at my eyes again and my heart practically breaks in two as she turns around and walks away. Instead of going to her car she starts walking down the street. I start to follow but Louis runs up to me and stops me.

"I have to go after her!" I yell, ripping my arm away from him. He stands in front of me and puts his hands on my shoulders.

"Give her some space, Harry. You just dropped a huge bomb on her, give her some time to process."

"No, I need to talk to her, I need to tell her that I love her. I would never betray her like that, she has to know that!"

"Harry, calm down mate." I cover my face with my hands. "She'll talk to you sooner or later. You messed up, you know that. Let her be angry."

"Why did you lie to her?" I ask him. "You know what happened, why did you say that you didn't?"

"Because she was going to be hurt enough by the idea of it happening, I wasn't going to confirm it!"

I feel like someone just punched me in the stomach. I did it..I kissed her.

"So...I actually..."

"Yeah," he confirms, dropping his hands from my shoulders. "You did. She kissed you, to be fair, but...you kissed her back."

"Fuck." I start pacing around and pulling at my hair. How could I do this to her? How could I hurt her like this? Adie...she doesn't deserve this, she deserves so much better than me. I'm so pissed at myself. I'm an idiot. I just screwed up the best thing that ever happened to me. Without thinking I walk over the the tree on Louis' yard and punch it as hard as I can.

Notes

oh no :( shit hit the fan
harry so stupid.
so sad for adie :(

please comment and vote and subscribe :) i really want to know what you guys think of it

if i dont get a lot more subscribers, i probably wont make a sequel. ill just bring this story to the end and then write an epilogue or something. i dont want to do it if i dont have a lot of people to keep reading. so yeah

what do you think adie is going to do?
what is harry going to say when she tells him shes moving sooner than he thinks??

thanks so much for reading and for all of your lovely comments :) love you all.xx