The Deal
Chapter Eighteen.
*Harry Styles*
“Can I ask you something?”
Olivia’s voice brought me back to reality, as I broke through my thoughts and turned to face the girl lying beside me. We were currently under the blankets, having finally caught our breaths from minutes before, and lay down in comfortable silence. I was glad she’d finally said something, because I needed to distract myself from what had been going on in my head since the last couple of days, what Lexi had said when I’d defended Olivia after their fight.
You’re falling for her.
Of course I wasn’t. That’s what I always told myself every time the sentence popped up into my head. Because there was no way I was really starting to think of her as anything more than just a friend. No, I couldn’t break the deal. Besides, the whole thing was too cliché. Two people starting out as just friends who have sex and then falling in love? Overdone.
Besides, if I broke the deal, then I’d lose her forever. And as weird as it seemed, I needed her. And I knew, even though she would never admit it, she needed me too. But if I let my mind go there, to a place where love between us did exist, then every aspect of our friendship was ruined, and I’d let her slip from between my fingers.
I figured the more I thought about it, the more the chances of me actually falling for her increased. But even though I wanted to stop thinking about this, I couldn’t get that one line out of my head. You’re falling for her. You’re falling for her.
How long could this go on for? How long would we stay ‘friends with benefits’? It had to end sometime and what if that that was just around the corner? How would we stop anyway? Was there something out there that was strong enough to break the bond I’d come to form with her?
At that moment, the only thing that seemed likely to stand between the two of us were my feelings. If I let them get out of hand, if I thought too much about what Lexi had said, then maybe…
But no, I couldn’t let that happen.
Or maybe the deal would be called off if one of us found someone else. For me, the chances seemed quite less. I spoke to different girls every day, but somehow, none of them held my attention long enough for me to even consider. But what about Olivia? She found guys way more easily, so it would be really effortless for her to find someone, even if she wasn’t too serious with him. Would she call the deal off then?
Somehow, I didn’t like the idea of her being with anyone else. Feelings aside, I knew her body in a way I didn’t think the other boys she’d hooked up with did, and I didn’t like the thought of sharing her with someone in that way.
But looking at her like I was doing now, I realized that at some point, I was going to have to suck up and do it anyway. And I was not only going to have to share her, but also let her go. Because we weren’t supposed to fall in love, but someday, we were going to. And maybe, it wouldn’t be with each other.
So what was I going to do then?
“Sure.”
“When was the first time you did it?” she asked, and her question took me by surprise.
“Did…?”
“Sex,” she clarified. “When was the first time you had sex?”
“Why?” I asked her.
She looked at me. “I…I’m just curious.” She said.
I chuckled, and then answered her. “Mm, it was two years ago.” I told her. “With this girl called Julia.”
“Do I know her?” she asked me.
I shook my head, smiling at the memory. “Nah,” I said. “She used to live next to my house, and we got to know each other one summer. We were together for a short while, a really short while, but we were crazy about each other. She left town a month after that, and we never stayed in touch.”
“If you liked her so much—”
“I know.” I said. “But somehow, after she left, I didn’t feel like calling her up or emailing her anymore. But while she was here….I think she’s the only girl I’ve ever really been serious about.”
“How was it?” Olivia asked me. “Your first time?”
“Awkward,” I remembered, laughing. “We didn’t know what to do, and it hurt for her but still, it was the most amazing feeling of my life.”
“Is it something worth remembering for the rest of your life?” she asked.
I nodded. “Oh, yeah.” I told her. “I’ll always remember it. I have no feelings for her, no residual ones either, but when I think back on it, I don’t regret it.”
She let out a hum as a response, but was otherwise quiet. I looked at her and realized she was deep in thought. Her eyebrows formed the slightest frown of concentration and her bottom lip was caught between her teeth.
“What if she showed up?” Olivia asked. “Today? What if you went home and there she was, sitting on your couch, waiting for you. What would you do?”
I thought about it. But even as I did so, my mind kept wandering back to Lexi’s words, and my only thought was if the deal I had with Olivia would have to stop or not.
“I don’t know,” I said finally.
“Do you think we’d still be friends?” she asked me. “If you got with her and called the deal off, do you think we’d still remain friends?”
Funny she asked me that, because that’s just what I’d been thinking. I turned on my side, and sat up slightly, resting my head on my palm and looking at her. “Of course,” I said without hesitation. “You and I will always be friends, Harper.”
“Good,” she said, but smiled brightly at me. “Because I need someone to piss off, and Niall isn’t fun enough.”
---
*Olivia Harper*
I slid my arms up his chest and proceeded to wrap them around his neck, as our bodies slid and moved together, to the beat of the music. His hands moved ever so slowly to cup my bum and push my hips into his, and I sighed, reaching up to plant a kiss on his neck. We were in the middle of the dance floor, with a number of people around us, but neither of us seemed to care.
I ran my hand through his dirty blonde hair, and his bright, blue eyes narrowed at me as a slightly smirk played on his face. The only similarity his face bore to Harry’s was the indent on either cheek when he smiled. Even then, his dimples weren’t as prominent as Harry’s were.
Somewhere along the number of drinks I’d consumed, the laughing and giggling with the boys and the dancing, I’d lost Harry somewhere in the club. The other boys were busy getting sloshed and chatting girls up, while this boy—Chase, I think he’d called himself—had decided to walk up to me and try to buy me a drink. I was too drunk to laugh at his cliché advances and had just given in, and now we were in the middle of the dance floor, hot, sweaty bodies grinding as we danced.
He leaned down, his hot breath washing over my ear. “Wanna get out of here, beautiful?” he asked me, his lips brushing my ear. “My house is about ten minutes from here.”
I smirked and tugged his hair to pull his head away. “Sounds good to me,” I said, and dropped my hands. He led me away from the dance floor and towards the exit of the club, as we pushed past the crowd. I briefly thought of informing the boys I was leaving, but I was in a hurry to leave with Chase.
I stopped when my body collided with something hard. I staggered backwards and looked up to see Harry standing in front of me, towering over me as usual, with a slight frown on his face.
“Where are you off to?” he asked me.
“Harry!”
“Who is this?” Chase asked me. “Your boyfriend?”
“No,” I rolled my eyes.
“Well, then,” Chase said, stepping between Harry and myself, “mate, you’re in our way.”
“Yeah, mate,” I giggled. “You’re in our way. Move.”
“Yeah,” Harry moved towards Chase. “I’m not her boyfriend, but I do fuck her on a daily basis.”
I frowned. “Harry—”
“What’s he saying?” Chase turned to me.
“Nothing—”
“I’m taking her home,” Harry said, reaching for my hand behind Chase and pulling me to him. “Nice to see you.”
“No,” I mumbled. “Wait—”
But Chase had already left, with a roll of his eyes, possibly to search for another girl. I turned to Harry angrily.
“What the fuck did you just do?” I asked. My voice was loud, but the loud wail of the music drowned my voice out.
“Olivia,” Harry said, his voice calm and gentle. “That guy was piss drunk, and I wasn’t going to let you—”
“You don’t have to let me do anything, Harry!” I screamed, my vision suddenly blurry. “You’re not my dad. I can go home with whoever the fuck I want to—”
“You can’t just leave the club with absolute strangers, Harper!” Harry reasoned.
“I’ve been doing it for a while now, so you’d think I—”
“Just because you think this is some field you’re so experienced in,” Harry retorted, “it doesn’t mean that it’s the right thing to do. Olivia, that guy could’ve done anything to you and you wouldn’t have noticed.”
“He wasn’t forcing me into anything!” I snapped, my words jumbling together as my stomach flipped.
“I can’t believe this,” Harry said incredulously. “I’m only looking out for you, and you’re—”
“That’s what you’re always doing.” I said. “Stop baby-ing me so much, Harry. Just because I allow you to fuck me whenever you’re horny—”
“Allow me to fuck you?” he growled.
“I’m thinking this whole deal was a bad idea,” I shot at him. “Just because we have sex, you’re getting this idea that
I’m chained to you or something—”
“It was your idea!” he roared. “You wanted this, you suggested it. Don’t you tell me it was bad idea, Harper.”
“I—” I started but I felt a wave of nausea strike me and I staggered forward.
Harry’s angry expression slipped away. “Olivia?” he asked, suddenly concerned, his voice a contrast to what it was a second ago. “What—are you okay?”
“I think I—” I spluttered and gasped as another wave hit me. I pushed past Harry and staggered through the door, and emptied my stomach out onto the ground below me.
“Oh God,” Harry said quickly, and held my hair as my stomach clenched in pain once again and I wretched, hurling vomit onto the ground. My eyes watered and my nose wrinkled with disgust at the smell, but I continued dry heaving as I waited for another wave. Harry stroked my back as I breathed heavily, trying to catch my breath as I stood up shakily.
“Let me get you some water,” he said.
“No,” I told him, shaking my head to clear my vision. “I don’t want anything from you.”
“Olivia—”
“I don’t want to see you again,” I jabbed a finger into his chest. “You ruined my night, Harry.”
“This again,” he sighed angrily. “Did you just see yourself, Harper? You puked your guts out on to the floor. If that guy you were hopping off with was with you, he would have left you on the ground and walked off in disgust.”
“Why, are you the only guy who has even a tiny hint of sincerity, Harry?” I screamed. The night was quiet with the exception of a few cars rolling by, and the faint music coming from inside the club. “Just because you’re nice to me, doesn’t mean you’re the only one!”
He huffed angrily, his eyes blazing. “Olivia, you’re drunk, and tired and for God’s sake, you smell of vomit.” He said, and I could sense his efforts to keep calm. “Let me take you home, and you can yell at me tomorrow.”
“No way!” I slurred. “I’m not going anywhere with you. I can help myself.”
“You are the most unreasonable woman I have ever met,” he closed his eyes. “Harper, I’m begging you—”
“Leave me alone!” I yelled.
He opened his eyes, his green, usually kind eyes alight with anger. “You know, sometimes I think that Lexi is right,” he told me. “You’re reckless and stupid, and the only reason I ‘baby’ you so much is because you make me, Olivia. You think you don’t need to be taken care of, but the truth is, you do, way more than you think, but you’re too fucking stubborn to admit it. Go ahead and push everyone who cares about you away, and see how it turns out for you! You don’t want me to take you home? FINE! Stay here, and find a ride.”
He turned around and started walking towards the parking lot, before stopping midstep and turning to me. “And she’s also right when she says that for God’s sake, if you can’t handle your alcohol, don’t fucking drink. You won’t have me running behind you to take care of you, alright? Not anymore.”
I watched him turn his back on me and start to walk away. Harry, who’d been there for me when no one else quite had, the boy who’d managed to somehow find his way through the confines around my heart, the one who brought the Olivia I really was, was walking away from me, and I did nothing, absolutely nothing about it.
“FINE!” I screamed back, into the empty night. “Fuck you!”
He didn’t look back once.
“Can I ask you something?”
Olivia’s voice brought me back to reality, as I broke through my thoughts and turned to face the girl lying beside me. We were currently under the blankets, having finally caught our breaths from minutes before, and lay down in comfortable silence. I was glad she’d finally said something, because I needed to distract myself from what had been going on in my head since the last couple of days, what Lexi had said when I’d defended Olivia after their fight.
You’re falling for her.
Of course I wasn’t. That’s what I always told myself every time the sentence popped up into my head. Because there was no way I was really starting to think of her as anything more than just a friend. No, I couldn’t break the deal. Besides, the whole thing was too cliché. Two people starting out as just friends who have sex and then falling in love? Overdone.
Besides, if I broke the deal, then I’d lose her forever. And as weird as it seemed, I needed her. And I knew, even though she would never admit it, she needed me too. But if I let my mind go there, to a place where love between us did exist, then every aspect of our friendship was ruined, and I’d let her slip from between my fingers.
I figured the more I thought about it, the more the chances of me actually falling for her increased. But even though I wanted to stop thinking about this, I couldn’t get that one line out of my head. You’re falling for her. You’re falling for her.
How long could this go on for? How long would we stay ‘friends with benefits’? It had to end sometime and what if that that was just around the corner? How would we stop anyway? Was there something out there that was strong enough to break the bond I’d come to form with her?
At that moment, the only thing that seemed likely to stand between the two of us were my feelings. If I let them get out of hand, if I thought too much about what Lexi had said, then maybe…
But no, I couldn’t let that happen.
Or maybe the deal would be called off if one of us found someone else. For me, the chances seemed quite less. I spoke to different girls every day, but somehow, none of them held my attention long enough for me to even consider. But what about Olivia? She found guys way more easily, so it would be really effortless for her to find someone, even if she wasn’t too serious with him. Would she call the deal off then?
Somehow, I didn’t like the idea of her being with anyone else. Feelings aside, I knew her body in a way I didn’t think the other boys she’d hooked up with did, and I didn’t like the thought of sharing her with someone in that way.
But looking at her like I was doing now, I realized that at some point, I was going to have to suck up and do it anyway. And I was not only going to have to share her, but also let her go. Because we weren’t supposed to fall in love, but someday, we were going to. And maybe, it wouldn’t be with each other.
So what was I going to do then?
“Sure.”
“When was the first time you did it?” she asked, and her question took me by surprise.
“Did…?”
“Sex,” she clarified. “When was the first time you had sex?”
“Why?” I asked her.
She looked at me. “I…I’m just curious.” She said.
I chuckled, and then answered her. “Mm, it was two years ago.” I told her. “With this girl called Julia.”
“Do I know her?” she asked me.
I shook my head, smiling at the memory. “Nah,” I said. “She used to live next to my house, and we got to know each other one summer. We were together for a short while, a really short while, but we were crazy about each other. She left town a month after that, and we never stayed in touch.”
“If you liked her so much—”
“I know.” I said. “But somehow, after she left, I didn’t feel like calling her up or emailing her anymore. But while she was here….I think she’s the only girl I’ve ever really been serious about.”
“How was it?” Olivia asked me. “Your first time?”
“Awkward,” I remembered, laughing. “We didn’t know what to do, and it hurt for her but still, it was the most amazing feeling of my life.”
“Is it something worth remembering for the rest of your life?” she asked.
I nodded. “Oh, yeah.” I told her. “I’ll always remember it. I have no feelings for her, no residual ones either, but when I think back on it, I don’t regret it.”
She let out a hum as a response, but was otherwise quiet. I looked at her and realized she was deep in thought. Her eyebrows formed the slightest frown of concentration and her bottom lip was caught between her teeth.
“What if she showed up?” Olivia asked. “Today? What if you went home and there she was, sitting on your couch, waiting for you. What would you do?”
I thought about it. But even as I did so, my mind kept wandering back to Lexi’s words, and my only thought was if the deal I had with Olivia would have to stop or not.
“I don’t know,” I said finally.
“Do you think we’d still be friends?” she asked me. “If you got with her and called the deal off, do you think we’d still remain friends?”
Funny she asked me that, because that’s just what I’d been thinking. I turned on my side, and sat up slightly, resting my head on my palm and looking at her. “Of course,” I said without hesitation. “You and I will always be friends, Harper.”
“Good,” she said, but smiled brightly at me. “Because I need someone to piss off, and Niall isn’t fun enough.”
---
*Olivia Harper*
I slid my arms up his chest and proceeded to wrap them around his neck, as our bodies slid and moved together, to the beat of the music. His hands moved ever so slowly to cup my bum and push my hips into his, and I sighed, reaching up to plant a kiss on his neck. We were in the middle of the dance floor, with a number of people around us, but neither of us seemed to care.
I ran my hand through his dirty blonde hair, and his bright, blue eyes narrowed at me as a slightly smirk played on his face. The only similarity his face bore to Harry’s was the indent on either cheek when he smiled. Even then, his dimples weren’t as prominent as Harry’s were.
Somewhere along the number of drinks I’d consumed, the laughing and giggling with the boys and the dancing, I’d lost Harry somewhere in the club. The other boys were busy getting sloshed and chatting girls up, while this boy—Chase, I think he’d called himself—had decided to walk up to me and try to buy me a drink. I was too drunk to laugh at his cliché advances and had just given in, and now we were in the middle of the dance floor, hot, sweaty bodies grinding as we danced.
He leaned down, his hot breath washing over my ear. “Wanna get out of here, beautiful?” he asked me, his lips brushing my ear. “My house is about ten minutes from here.”
I smirked and tugged his hair to pull his head away. “Sounds good to me,” I said, and dropped my hands. He led me away from the dance floor and towards the exit of the club, as we pushed past the crowd. I briefly thought of informing the boys I was leaving, but I was in a hurry to leave with Chase.
I stopped when my body collided with something hard. I staggered backwards and looked up to see Harry standing in front of me, towering over me as usual, with a slight frown on his face.
“Where are you off to?” he asked me.
“Harry!”
“Who is this?” Chase asked me. “Your boyfriend?”
“No,” I rolled my eyes.
“Well, then,” Chase said, stepping between Harry and myself, “mate, you’re in our way.”
“Yeah, mate,” I giggled. “You’re in our way. Move.”
“Yeah,” Harry moved towards Chase. “I’m not her boyfriend, but I do fuck her on a daily basis.”
I frowned. “Harry—”
“What’s he saying?” Chase turned to me.
“Nothing—”
“I’m taking her home,” Harry said, reaching for my hand behind Chase and pulling me to him. “Nice to see you.”
“No,” I mumbled. “Wait—”
But Chase had already left, with a roll of his eyes, possibly to search for another girl. I turned to Harry angrily.
“What the fuck did you just do?” I asked. My voice was loud, but the loud wail of the music drowned my voice out.
“Olivia,” Harry said, his voice calm and gentle. “That guy was piss drunk, and I wasn’t going to let you—”
“You don’t have to let me do anything, Harry!” I screamed, my vision suddenly blurry. “You’re not my dad. I can go home with whoever the fuck I want to—”
“You can’t just leave the club with absolute strangers, Harper!” Harry reasoned.
“I’ve been doing it for a while now, so you’d think I—”
“Just because you think this is some field you’re so experienced in,” Harry retorted, “it doesn’t mean that it’s the right thing to do. Olivia, that guy could’ve done anything to you and you wouldn’t have noticed.”
“He wasn’t forcing me into anything!” I snapped, my words jumbling together as my stomach flipped.
“I can’t believe this,” Harry said incredulously. “I’m only looking out for you, and you’re—”
“That’s what you’re always doing.” I said. “Stop baby-ing me so much, Harry. Just because I allow you to fuck me whenever you’re horny—”
“Allow me to fuck you?” he growled.
“I’m thinking this whole deal was a bad idea,” I shot at him. “Just because we have sex, you’re getting this idea that
I’m chained to you or something—”
“It was your idea!” he roared. “You wanted this, you suggested it. Don’t you tell me it was bad idea, Harper.”
“I—” I started but I felt a wave of nausea strike me and I staggered forward.
Harry’s angry expression slipped away. “Olivia?” he asked, suddenly concerned, his voice a contrast to what it was a second ago. “What—are you okay?”
“I think I—” I spluttered and gasped as another wave hit me. I pushed past Harry and staggered through the door, and emptied my stomach out onto the ground below me.
“Oh God,” Harry said quickly, and held my hair as my stomach clenched in pain once again and I wretched, hurling vomit onto the ground. My eyes watered and my nose wrinkled with disgust at the smell, but I continued dry heaving as I waited for another wave. Harry stroked my back as I breathed heavily, trying to catch my breath as I stood up shakily.
“Let me get you some water,” he said.
“No,” I told him, shaking my head to clear my vision. “I don’t want anything from you.”
“Olivia—”
“I don’t want to see you again,” I jabbed a finger into his chest. “You ruined my night, Harry.”
“This again,” he sighed angrily. “Did you just see yourself, Harper? You puked your guts out on to the floor. If that guy you were hopping off with was with you, he would have left you on the ground and walked off in disgust.”
“Why, are you the only guy who has even a tiny hint of sincerity, Harry?” I screamed. The night was quiet with the exception of a few cars rolling by, and the faint music coming from inside the club. “Just because you’re nice to me, doesn’t mean you’re the only one!”
He huffed angrily, his eyes blazing. “Olivia, you’re drunk, and tired and for God’s sake, you smell of vomit.” He said, and I could sense his efforts to keep calm. “Let me take you home, and you can yell at me tomorrow.”
“No way!” I slurred. “I’m not going anywhere with you. I can help myself.”
“You are the most unreasonable woman I have ever met,” he closed his eyes. “Harper, I’m begging you—”
“Leave me alone!” I yelled.
He opened his eyes, his green, usually kind eyes alight with anger. “You know, sometimes I think that Lexi is right,” he told me. “You’re reckless and stupid, and the only reason I ‘baby’ you so much is because you make me, Olivia. You think you don’t need to be taken care of, but the truth is, you do, way more than you think, but you’re too fucking stubborn to admit it. Go ahead and push everyone who cares about you away, and see how it turns out for you! You don’t want me to take you home? FINE! Stay here, and find a ride.”
He turned around and started walking towards the parking lot, before stopping midstep and turning to me. “And she’s also right when she says that for God’s sake, if you can’t handle your alcohol, don’t fucking drink. You won’t have me running behind you to take care of you, alright? Not anymore.”
I watched him turn his back on me and start to walk away. Harry, who’d been there for me when no one else quite had, the boy who’d managed to somehow find his way through the confines around my heart, the one who brought the Olivia I really was, was walking away from me, and I did nothing, absolutely nothing about it.
“FINE!” I screamed back, into the empty night. “Fuck you!”
He didn’t look back once.
fuckin shit! i feel like lexi is going to turn her back on her.
6/3/16