Breathe

“ What” I look up at him mortified, how could he love me?

“ Nina, I love you” He puts his hands on each side of my face

“ How” Tears spring from my eyes

“ What do you mean how? I love you baby” he presses his forehead to mine

“ Harry” I cautioned, everything was going to fast, my ex boyfriend had just made a huge scene, I run my eyes over the marks on Harrys knuckles from punching Tom.

“ What.. You don’t love me..” he whispers as if wounded, I couldn’t think straight, too much had just happened, I need to make sure Tia’s okay I need to make sure I’m okay. I took a deep breath in and Harrys look of pain worsened into deep hurt

“ Harry so much happened just now, I need to calm down and think about things” I try to talk to him as calmly as I can with the tears running down my face

“ I’ve been in love with you since I first laid eyes on you” He talks without making eye contact
“ You don’t love me,” He says before getting up off the ground and walking the opposite direction of the house and me.

“ HARRY” I screamed but he didn’t turn around.

“ HARRY COME BACK” I yelled till my chest shook, I can’t let him leave me, and I love him. Why couldn’t I tell him, I love him more than anything and it scares the shit out of me, it makes me feel vulnerable, like he could hurt me at any moment. I started running in the direction he walked away in but my newly healed body didn’t allow it, I fell onto the hard floor.

“ Ow” I winced as I tried to get back up.

“ NINA” I heard Louis’s voice from not to far away.

“ NINA” He said again getting closer

“ What happened, where’s Harry?” He said getting me into sitting up position and glancing around the area for Harry, at this point I couldn’t control it, tears streamed down my face

“ Talk to me” He sits down beside me, putting one arm over my shoulder

“ He said he loves me,” I croaked

“ And what did you say?” He sounds nervous

“ I didn’t say anything really” I look down at the grass

“ You don’t love him back?”

“ I do” I smile

“ Why didn’t you say that?”

“ Because so much was on my mind I couldn’t manage it, and then he ran off,” I say before his phone vibrates

“ Harry, where are you” my head shoots up, Louis puts his finger to his lips indicating for me to keep quiet.

“ Harry don’t do this” I feel my skin getting hotter, Louis hangs up the phone

“ He’s booked our flights for tomorrow” Louis looks at his fingers nervously, something’s up.

“ He’s booked mine, Els, and Zayns flight” It was like someone threw a thousand bricks at me, my whole body felt pain.

“ Where is he” I sniffle and anger rises through me

“ He went for a walk around the farm and he’s back inside packing,” He points to the house. Oh so Styles avoided me by walking around the farm to get back inside. I get off the floor and march towards the house.

“ Nina what are you doing” Louis follows me and asks as I get into the house
“ Nina don’t” He grabs my arms and I snap

“ Don’t touch me” I snatch my arm out of his hold and burst into my bedroom to see Harry packing up his things, he glances up at me for a moment before continuing.

“ So this is it then” I cross my arms

“ You don’t love me,” he says turning his back to me

“ Harry you don’t even let me talk, you just stormed off”

“ So now we’re done, you’re leaving without me tomorrow?” I walk closer to him

“ Fuck this Harry, have a nice life without me and I promise you wont see me ever again” I start to walk out the door

“ You think that’s what I fucking want? I said I love you Nina, I love you so fucking much. When you said nothing I felt broken, what do you expect me to do?” I turn and see his eyes have started watering

“ You could’ve talked to me, but no you go book the flights without me” My voice cracks, he looks down at the jumper in his hands

“ You chose this Harry, you chose to book the flights without me, and you chose to give up. Now I’ll say it again, I promise you’ll never see me again”

“ Baby please stop this” he takes three strides closer to me

“ I love you Harry, have fun in London without me, have a nice life without me” I quickly turn on my heels and walk out of the room

“ Nina don’t go, I love you” I hear Harry after I’ve left the room; I do the first thing that comes to mind, leave the house. Quickly I leave the house and get into the new range rover my parents bought me after the accident. I put it in drive and start the long journey back to my New York apartment.

-
I finally got back to my place, I unlock my door and walk straight into the bedroom, I get out my phone and see all the missed calls and texts, I’ve got two texts from my dad, 3 from Tia, 6 from my mom, 12 from Harry, 5 from Louis, 4 from Zayn, 7 from El, I also have 38 missed calls all from a mix of them. I hold the button on the top of my phone and slide to turn it off; I curl myself around my pillow and surrender to the grief, tears pour down my face as I begin to sob.

Why did everything have to be so difficult, I love Harry, he loves me. I guess none of that matters anymore we technically broke up. The thought kills me; he’s not mine anymore. How did this happen, I replay the days events in my head and the more I think about it the sillier it seems.

It’s over now though, Harry and I are over, tears get stronger when I think that. So now I lay alone in my bed, first night without Harry since being in the hospital with a big hole of pain, regret and hurt in the middle of my stomach.

---
I flinch as the hot sun hit my eyelids, I groan in frustration before opening my eyes to the hot midday of New York city, Oh yeah, I’m in my apartment. I frown as I recall what happened. I look over at the clock 1:05pm; Harry and everyone have left by now. I quickly wipe a stray tear that’s fallen from my left eye. I turn my phone back on to be bombarded with more notifications; one that particularly catches my eye is one from Harry

From: Harry <3
I love you, I don’t want to be on this flight without you, we leave in 30 minutes, please don’t let me go without you, you’re my everything, I feel empty without you, please baby I love you.

That text was from 3 hours ago, I was asleep. Harry and I aren’t together anymore, the thought finally registers in my mind and I quickly delete every trace of him from my phone. Time to start the moving on process. I fall back onto my bed and the tears renew.

Notes

Uh oh :( they broke up. comment.rate.subscribe