*Summer’s POV*

I will never forget the day I learned of Harry Styles death. I was in the gym. We had all just finished playing dodge ball. My best friend Joahana of 6 years came running up to me. We didn’t have the same class but her teacher always let them out when they finished everything they had to do. She had tears in her eyes and I knew something was wrong. She ran up and hugged me.

“Joe?” I asked confused. She was sobbing very hard into my shoulder. I patted her back and I was finally able to hear what she was saying.

“I’m sorry Summer… I’m so sorry.” I pulled her back confused.

“Sorry about what?” I asked. She handed me her phone and I saw in big headlines. Heart Throb Harry Styles, Dies in Fire. I took a step back. There was no way.

“It has to be a hoax. Just like the one with him in a car accident.” I said not wanting to believe it, but the tears had already started to form. The picture she showed me next killed me. It was of Louis, Niall, Liam, and Zayn holding each other and crying. I dropped to my knees. Joahana knelt down beside me and held me. I just sat there staring at the shiny floor of the gym. The rest of the day I just glided through. Not talking to anyone. Not doing anything but being an empty body. I went home and got online and looked at all the Facebook pages. All of them had pictures of Harry saying rest in peace. I sat at my computer and cried and cried. When I looked up and went on my page dedicated to Harry and posted a little message.

Dearest Directioners,
We have lost a very important part of our 1D family. Harry Styles died today… due to a fire at his London home… I am not sure how we will recover from this… I honestly don’t… But I know we will. Harry would want us to continue to support the boys. We will stand beside them and love them through everything. I know this is going to be the hardest goodbye any of us will ever have to do… but we have to… Harry will be greatly missed… The flirt… The one with the green eyes that made you fall into them every time…. My heart goes out to all Directioners… Remember he loves you no matter where you go.
~Summer~Styles~

I pressed the post button and started crying once again. I didn’t want to believe it. I looked away from my laptop and at my walls. Covered in his face. His face that looked so alive. It broke my heart to see them all smiling together… and knowing that no more posters of all 5 smiling boys will ever be made again… He was really… gone.

I walked out my backdoor and stood in my backyard. I just screamed… With tears streaming down my face, I screamed. No words, just one long scream. I’m not sure how long I stood out there, but soon my mother was home and ran out there. She pulled me into a hug and we sat there hugging while I cried. She kept saying she was sorry and that she heard what happened on the radio. I didn’t want to hear her say it. The more people said it the more it was set in stone. She soon left me to go get my little brother.

I walked back inside and sat down at my computer. I logged onto twitter and Louis had had just tweeted about the memorial service for Harry. It was going to be held in Harry’s hometown and that it would be held in a week.

I quickly ran to my bed and opened the lockbox I had between my mattresses. I got the key from around my neck and opened it and I counted my money. I had about 5,000 dollars saved up. I had only cashed all my paychecks, but never spent a dime out of them for about 6 months now. I had also babysat a lot. I ran back to my laptop and looked up how much it would cost to fly to Holmes chapel. It would cost about $3,060. I looked up hotels and the one I wanted would make it all add up to $4,2010. I decided it would cost less than 900 hundred for food. I called Joahana.

“Hello?” She answered. I could hear she had been crying.

“We are going to Holmes Chapel.”

“What? Why?” She asked concerned.

“The memorial service for Harry. It’s being held there.”

“How can we afford that?”

“I can. We are both going. Just me and you.”

“My parents wouldn’t let me do that.”

“Yes they will. My mother will convince them to let you.” I said still trying to hold in the tears. I honestly never thought I would be having this conversation this soon.

“Where is this money…. Summer we are not using the money for your car.” She said in a harsh tone.

“Yes we are. I don’t give a fuck what it was for. We are using it for this now.” I said hanging up not wanting to hear anymore argument. I grabbed my duffle bag and started packing. When I was finished I heard the front door open and close. I looked out my door and my brother and mother were home. I walked out and called for my mother. She walked back to me and I held the door open for her and she walked into my room.

“Mom… I am going to England tomorrow.” I said simply. She turned her head to the side.

“You are what?” She asked surprised.

“It’s fall break and I have enough money.”

“What for…” Realization crossed her face. “With what money?” She asked.

“My car money.” I answered simply. She stared at me in shock.

“You can’t be serious. Summer? It’s a boy!” She almost yelled. My eyes grew wide and tears started streaming down my face once again.

“Really mom? Just a boy?” I said hysterical.

“Yes Summer! Just a boy! He didn’t know your real name! He never met you! You are just like every other fan to those boys!” She started yelling at me.

“So what! I do not care if that’s the case or not! I can only be a fan in their eyes and be happy with it! I loved him so much Mom! He meant so much more to me than some boy in a band! Whether you want to believe it or not! I know I was meant for him! And now that is all shattered!”

“Sure! Yeah, you are ‘meant’ for him! You and about every other girl that likes that band! What makes you think that you have any more of a chance than they do?”

My face fell and I didn’t know what to say. I just sat there and looked at my floor.

“Fine… You are right.” I said with more tears threatening to spill over.

She gave a sigh of relief.

“But, I am still going.” I said finalizing it. She was going to argue it again, but knew I had made up my mind. She sighed with defeat and left the room. I watched her leave.


********************************************************
I walked up the steps of the hotel with Joahana beside me. We had our bags in our hands and checked in. We went up to our room. We set our stuff down and I went and looked out the window to see the view. It was really quite beautiful.

“I wish we could have come for a reason that wasn’t so devastating.” I said with a sigh.

“Let’s go get something to eat.” Joahana said getting up. I followed her out the door and we were met by the strangest thing that would ever happen to us. It was Liam. He was sitting in the hall crying. I knew it was him by his build. I ran to him and hugged him. Not caring that I had never talked to him before in my life. I heard him gasp.

He wrapped his arms around me and we sat there hugging for a little while. I finally pulled away and he looked at me.

“Hello.” He said trying to disguise his heartbreak.

“Hi.” I answered.

“Why… Why would you do that?” He asked confused. I smiled gently at him.

“Because… Whether or not we know each other. We both loved him. I loved him in a different way… But love is love Liam. He was a part of my world. I am a Directioner and I will always be here for you Liam.” I quickly got up and walked back over to Joahana. I wasn’t sure what was running through Liam’s mind, but right as the elevator doors were closing he yelled wait. It was to late and they closed.

“Shit!” Joahana yelled. I pressed the stop button and then pressed the button to get us back to our floor. We looked out and he was nowhere to be seen.

“Fuck!” She said hitting the wall. I sighed and hit the number 1 on the buttons. We got down to the floor and walked to the closet café we could find.

“Great start to a week of disaster.” I mumbled grabbing the cub of tea. We drank in silence and then we went back to the hotel. We got to our room and I told Joah that I wanted to go take a shower. I walked in there and turned the shower head on, undressed and got in. I broke down. I had to. I wept, letting as much as I could out. I was in there for a while and I didn’t want to leave.

I wanted to sit there and curl up and never get back up. I didn’t want to go out and have to face another day. It was the most brutal feeling I had ever had in my entire life. I wasn’t sure if I would ever get over it. I knew that my hopes of waking up to those green eyes every morning were now shattered. It hurt so much.