Can't Take It

Louis pov:

" I'm not sure..lettuce?" I say picking some up from the store counter. Harry is coming over today and I don't know what to make. We were thinking a salad. I look over for Liam's approval but he's glued to his phone. He has been all morning. " LIAM." I say loudly. He looks away from his phone.
" Sorry what?" He stares at me.
" What are you looking at on your phone that's so important.?" I ask him doing the lettuce into the Cart.
" I was.. Uh.. I was talking to Harry." He says. Why is he talking to Harry. Are they just like best for ends now?! Ugh. I just push the cart forward grabbing salad things off the shelves. Finally we reach the checkout.
" Now we only have an hour to get this lunch ready!" I say waking out to our car.
" We will be fine. Anyway we can push the time if you want." Liam says softly packing away the bags in the backseat.
" No.. It's fine this just has to be perfect. This is my last chance to apologies to harry. And for him to see I mean good." In no time I'm speeding for our hotel.
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" What the hell is carne?" I hear Liam shout from the living room.
" It's like a meat.. It's good. But we don't have time to make that." I shout back. He walks I tot he kitchen looking around. Then I hear a knock. Harry.
" I'll get it you just stay here." He rushes out into the living room to get the door. I ruffle my hands through my hair and straighten out my apron. I know an apron. But I like them. I tidy up a few last things then I hear them talking.
" Just.... Him... Tell... I'm here too... For....." That's all I can make out between the two. I pick up the how, of salad and walk out. I'm nervous. Really nervous. I mean harry said he had a boyfriend and I'm hope he's willing to leave him for me. Not to be selfish, but Harry's mine.
" Hi guys." I say setting the bowl down eyeing harry. He looks nice. Hair slicked back. He's wearing blue jeans, Sneaks and a white t shirt.
" Hey..." Harry says. He manages a slight smile. Don't know rather to go in for a hug or a handshake. So I Hold out my hand. He looks at it then just pulls me In For a hug. I hold my arms out not knowing how to respond and glance at Liam who make the just do it face. So I wrap May arms around him. He smells good. Like canola oil. I pull away.
" Well lunch is ready if you guys want to eat.." I say motioning toward the table.
" Well I hate to do this but I'm going out.. To eat." Liam says. I look at him. Harry doesn't looked surprised actually.
" Oh.. You are Liam?" I stare at him more. " Harry go take a seat I'll be one second." I smile then push Liam toward my bed.
" You can't! Don't leave me here with him alone! I don't know what to say." I beg. He just shakes his head.
" You will. I promise." He hugs me and just walks out. I stand there for a moment. I almost forget he's even in there. Fuck. I quickly walk into the kicthen. He's sitting at the table staring at the salad.
" Well I'm no cook." I joke sitting down across from him.
" I know. All you ever made were tuna sandwiches and spaghetti os." He laughs a deep chuckle.
we don't really talk we just kind of eat. I glance up at him a few times. I just can't d this anymore. The silence is aggravating.
" So how's it been?" I ask.
" Good.. Good." he takes his last bite of salad then pushes his plate aside. He leans back in his chair.
" what about you.. How have you been? Really?" He asks. I sit for a moment thinking. I mean I could just say good to avoid awkward or long and boring conversation. Or I could tell him how I truly have been. Which is miserable without him. Random fevers now and again. Stomach aches like crazy. And it's all because the love of my life isn't here with me.
" Fine." Is all I say, he looks at me.
" Well.. I might as well jump right to it then.." He says.
" Jump to what..?" I am a little confused.
" I sent that photo... Of you and Stan." He what...?
" What... The fuck the is that suppose to mean!." I shout a little getting heated.
" I sent it! So you would break up with me. So.. You could be happy." He says in his own defense.
" Why... If you w-wernt happy all you had to do was say... You could've told me. Instead you let me fall In a World of hurt." I mutter. Tears falling down my cheeks. He adjusts in his chair before inhaling deeply.
" I did it.. To save you." His cheeks are red and hes on the verge of crying now too. " f-from what I.. I am."
" You were perfect to me! You were my everything. I was so lost without you... I thought you hated me harry! Do you know how that feels." I shout. I can't believe he did that. Just so I would break up with him. My heart is already broken into a thousand pieces and it keeps getting pounded causing millions to come out if it.
" You don't understand... I should've known you wouldn't." He stands up. " I'm sorry.. I know now that it was stupid and I should've just told you.. But I fucked it up." He says looking at me. I stand up too stepping over to him.
" What are you talking about. Can you just say it please!" I beg because I'm sick of him darting around the fucking bush.
" I....I... I have aids Louis." He says closing his eyes and biting his lips closed.
" W-what... You Have aids.. What does it have to do with me.." I say.
" Because... I knew I had them and I still had sex with you! I'm a monster! I pretty much put a limit on your life Louis!" He sobs out. He looks so broken standing in front of me. I feel my stomache twist.
" Are.. You saying.." I gulp. " You gave me aids... And left because you didn't want me to know. You wanted me to live a better life... So I didn't have to face the man who gave me a life threatening disease?" I say my eyes watering.
" I-I'm so sorry.. I don't even know how I ca-" I put my finger over his mouth. Tears are filling my eyes blurring my vision.
" That is the most romantic thing anybody has ever done for me." I close the space between us pushing my lips onto his softly. Because I know I am carrying HIV and he is too. And he gave it to me. But in a fucked up way he wanted me to be happy because he truly loves me. And in the end no matter what happens I love him. Aids is nothing compared to our love. Sure it's heartbreaking news but nobody has to know...

Notes

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