Next to me {on hold}
Diana
First update in the week :D Expect another one from now to Saturday. HAve a nice NYE :D
Chapter 7: Diana
10 weeks since the guys arrived.
Harry and Louis´ relationship keeps getting better as time goes by. The dark haired trip to Melbourne was extremely good for both guys to process their feelings without having each other to interfere and influence their thoughts. Liam had found them kissing and therefore was noticed about the situation, even when they didn´t want anyone to know, especially being Diana still Harry´s girlfriend. The rest of the “gang” shipped Louis badly with Finn, even if he was straight, oblivious to the actual situation.
Diana is the only one who had been acting differently towards everyone, especially around Harry, and both him and Louis often found themselves talking about whether she has found out or not.
She hided herself behind a great cover and, even if everyone saw her as a strong and determined lady, she was nowhere close to that. Life hits everyone hard.
Diana´s point of view:
It´s been around ten weeks since Harry and Louis got here and I´m extremely happy destiny has made me come across these two guys. I so wish things were different though.
Harry and I have been spending loads of time together both at school and outside it. Ive shown him around the city, we have gone clubbing, eating, etc. And I´ve also sort of met new people. I mean, I did “know about their existence” but I had never talked to them because we don’t share any classes. I´ve especially become close to Chiari, Niall and Ailu and a bit less but still close to Anto, Zac, Louis, Johanna, Finn and Liam. We were now a big group and I loved it.
Harry deserves an special mention, spending so much time for our own has made me start to have feelings towards him and I was startled when we kissed for the first time, one time we two had gone to the cinema. The first two weeks were thrilling, I loved being with him, cuddling, kissing, talking, or even just remaining silent for hours. But I then got to know him so much better and could read through his eyes anytime. Once we were at Louis and Harry ´s flat and they both stared at each other. Knowing Harry SO much, as I´ve said before, I distinguished love in his gaze and my heart began to fall apart. This extremely hurtful discovery came together with a whole bunch of problems in my life.
My friends, those people I had become so close after Harry and Louis arriving (Chiara, Niall, Ailu, Anto, Zac, Louis, Johanna, Finn and Liam), were slowly leaving me apart with no apparent reason, they made up excuses not to go out with me, they never invited me to go out with them, they never answered my texts… And this was becoming tougher as time went by. The only one who would text and go out with me was Liam.
And last but not least, all my family related issued. My brother passed away the week after the guys got to Sydney and he was my support and my connection to Earth. I was missing him loads and found myself at a huge loss after him passing away. He was 23 (I´m 19) and he played the big brother role to perfection. He protected me, listened to me, comforted me, hugged me tightly… His death did not only bring sadness to myself but also caused an additional problem which was mom and dad deciding to break up. They just weren´t able to process all that had happened and their anger and impotency canalized in a sick relationship.
Basicaly, my whole world was breaking apart and I found a relief in selfharming. Since nobody cared about myself, nobody actually realized.
One day I was at my flat with Harry and he was looking at me, those puppy eyes catching my attention. But I wasn´t going to allow pain to continue. I heard him ask what was going on.
-don’t act like you even care-I spitted.
He looked at me, confused and worried.
-Too much going on in my mind, too many things you wouldn´t understand, too many other things you wouldn’t be able to help with.
I breathed in. He continued to tell me I should count on him and trust him. Even if he couldn´t help, he kept telling me talking about issues that concern us is a really good solution. I finally gave up and started speaking. Of course I began by telling him how I felt about him, how I had realized he looked into Louis eyes every time they were together, how he desired him and not me. Then I went to “friends”, stage at which my eyes were already red and puffy from so much crying and my voice was really weak. They were so fake towards me… And finally, family concerns. Harry kept hugging me all the time and sweetly rubbing my back, which I found cute. My heart was totally breaking apart in pieces, my whole chest aching like never before. I was feeling much better after telling somebody all that I was going through. We stayed there, just silent and looking to the floor for a long while until I slowly started to move upwards the sleeves of my t-shirt, making my tons of self-harm scars visible. Harry´s eyes were now wide open and his jaw had dropped. More tears rolled down both of our cheeks and he squeezed my hand.
The feeling after finally opening up to somebody was great, even better than I expected. (a/n: if you are going through a similar situation, message me and ill help you through).
From that day onwards, Harry was my support, even if the couple we were had vanished and his soft lips were no longer available for me. I saw him happier and I found in him the figure of my lost brother. Somebody to whom I could always ask for help with the guarantee Id have it.
Harry´s point of view:
Since Diana´s and I little talk, my view towards life changed drastically. We often worried and complain about shitty stuff, even when there were other persons right next to us who suffered way more.
Of course, after that, I spoke to Louis. He felt quite guilty for the way he had treated her since the arrival and wanted to ran to her and apologize. Of course I didn´t let him do so. I was lucky to say I had never been in Diana´s position but had been close to people to have indeed and know it is important not to overwhelm them as they might find it hard to open up or also have a tough time if they consider everyone´s being “fake” towards them just because of the situation. As if everyone suddenly cared.
Chapter 7: Diana
10 weeks since the guys arrived.
Harry and Louis´ relationship keeps getting better as time goes by. The dark haired trip to Melbourne was extremely good for both guys to process their feelings without having each other to interfere and influence their thoughts. Liam had found them kissing and therefore was noticed about the situation, even when they didn´t want anyone to know, especially being Diana still Harry´s girlfriend. The rest of the “gang” shipped Louis badly with Finn, even if he was straight, oblivious to the actual situation.
Diana is the only one who had been acting differently towards everyone, especially around Harry, and both him and Louis often found themselves talking about whether she has found out or not.
She hided herself behind a great cover and, even if everyone saw her as a strong and determined lady, she was nowhere close to that. Life hits everyone hard.
Diana´s point of view:
It´s been around ten weeks since Harry and Louis got here and I´m extremely happy destiny has made me come across these two guys. I so wish things were different though.
Harry and I have been spending loads of time together both at school and outside it. Ive shown him around the city, we have gone clubbing, eating, etc. And I´ve also sort of met new people. I mean, I did “know about their existence” but I had never talked to them because we don’t share any classes. I´ve especially become close to Chiari, Niall and Ailu and a bit less but still close to Anto, Zac, Louis, Johanna, Finn and Liam. We were now a big group and I loved it.
Harry deserves an special mention, spending so much time for our own has made me start to have feelings towards him and I was startled when we kissed for the first time, one time we two had gone to the cinema. The first two weeks were thrilling, I loved being with him, cuddling, kissing, talking, or even just remaining silent for hours. But I then got to know him so much better and could read through his eyes anytime. Once we were at Louis and Harry ´s flat and they both stared at each other. Knowing Harry SO much, as I´ve said before, I distinguished love in his gaze and my heart began to fall apart. This extremely hurtful discovery came together with a whole bunch of problems in my life.
My friends, those people I had become so close after Harry and Louis arriving (Chiara, Niall, Ailu, Anto, Zac, Louis, Johanna, Finn and Liam), were slowly leaving me apart with no apparent reason, they made up excuses not to go out with me, they never invited me to go out with them, they never answered my texts… And this was becoming tougher as time went by. The only one who would text and go out with me was Liam.
And last but not least, all my family related issued. My brother passed away the week after the guys got to Sydney and he was my support and my connection to Earth. I was missing him loads and found myself at a huge loss after him passing away. He was 23 (I´m 19) and he played the big brother role to perfection. He protected me, listened to me, comforted me, hugged me tightly… His death did not only bring sadness to myself but also caused an additional problem which was mom and dad deciding to break up. They just weren´t able to process all that had happened and their anger and impotency canalized in a sick relationship.
Basicaly, my whole world was breaking apart and I found a relief in selfharming. Since nobody cared about myself, nobody actually realized.
One day I was at my flat with Harry and he was looking at me, those puppy eyes catching my attention. But I wasn´t going to allow pain to continue. I heard him ask what was going on.
-don’t act like you even care-I spitted.
He looked at me, confused and worried.
-Too much going on in my mind, too many things you wouldn´t understand, too many other things you wouldn’t be able to help with.
I breathed in. He continued to tell me I should count on him and trust him. Even if he couldn´t help, he kept telling me talking about issues that concern us is a really good solution. I finally gave up and started speaking. Of course I began by telling him how I felt about him, how I had realized he looked into Louis eyes every time they were together, how he desired him and not me. Then I went to “friends”, stage at which my eyes were already red and puffy from so much crying and my voice was really weak. They were so fake towards me… And finally, family concerns. Harry kept hugging me all the time and sweetly rubbing my back, which I found cute. My heart was totally breaking apart in pieces, my whole chest aching like never before. I was feeling much better after telling somebody all that I was going through. We stayed there, just silent and looking to the floor for a long while until I slowly started to move upwards the sleeves of my t-shirt, making my tons of self-harm scars visible. Harry´s eyes were now wide open and his jaw had dropped. More tears rolled down both of our cheeks and he squeezed my hand.
The feeling after finally opening up to somebody was great, even better than I expected. (a/n: if you are going through a similar situation, message me and ill help you through).
From that day onwards, Harry was my support, even if the couple we were had vanished and his soft lips were no longer available for me. I saw him happier and I found in him the figure of my lost brother. Somebody to whom I could always ask for help with the guarantee Id have it.
Harry´s point of view:
Since Diana´s and I little talk, my view towards life changed drastically. We often worried and complain about shitty stuff, even when there were other persons right next to us who suffered way more.
Of course, after that, I spoke to Louis. He felt quite guilty for the way he had treated her since the arrival and wanted to ran to her and apologize. Of course I didn´t let him do so. I was lucky to say I had never been in Diana´s position but had been close to people to have indeed and know it is important not to overwhelm them as they might find it hard to open up or also have a tough time if they consider everyone´s being “fake” towards them just because of the situation. As if everyone suddenly cared.
@xonenight
<3
1/7/14