I held up a range of different outfits against my small frame, trying to ignore the sick feeling that was in my throat. I had thrown up three times today, and now Harry wanted to go out for a formal dinner.

I could tell that over the past few days, he had noticed a change in me. I had overheard him speaking with Louis on the phone, telling him that he wanted to do something special for me because I seemed a little off with him. It broke my heart that he could ever think I was disinterested, mad, or over him. I was far from that. My hormones were in overdrive. Sometimes all I wanted to do was climb him like a frame and do the very thing that got me into this mess, over and over again. Sometimes I wanted to throw all of his clothes and possessions out of the window, and make him cry. My own body was terrifying me.

And now, this. Harry wanted us to go for a thai dinner, a high heels and dress type of affair. I dreaded the thought. My stomach was weak. My breasts were tender, but above all, I was chronically exhausted.

And I still hadn’t gotten any closer to telling him.

I had made an executive decision, though. I needed to tell someone. My mother would freak out, and then my father and Frankie would all have to know. I was stuck between the idea of confiding in Eleanor, or perhaps even Lou. She had been in this situation. Of course Lux was planned, but maybe she’d imagine a snippet of how scared I was.

Harry walked into the bedroom, a white shirt adorning his chest and black, skinny jeans on his lower half, with black boots. I took in his sex appeal, unable to even filter how hot he was. He smiled up at me, coming over by the mirror and wrapping his arms around me from behind. I was stiff at first, but then I settled. I knew I was being far too over-the-top. There was no way he knew what was going on in my stomach.

“This one,” He said, bringing the tight, black and grey dress to my frame. “You’ve always looked amazing in this one."

I looked back at him and kissed him over my shoulder. If I wasn’t.. pregnant, I would have been happy to have sex with him for hours. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

“We’ll leave at eight. We’ll go to Nobu.” He smiled, tapping me on the ass and throwing a collared jacket over his shoulder. I nodded, bringing the dress up my legs. My imagination convinced me that it felt tighter already. I groaned inwardly.

---

“So what are you going to do tomorrow?” Harry asked, chomping through his sushi. I grimaced every time I looked at my plate. I was certain I had heard something about not being able to order raw fish when you’re pregnant, so I slyly ordered a salad. Harry was curious, but didn’t think too much into it.

“Eleanor and I are going shopping.” I said. I left out the part that I might be telling her I was pregnant with his child.
“For clothes?” He asked, curiously.
“And other stuff.” I nodded.

The rest of our meal went by quickly. I excused myself and went to the bathroom as Harry payed the bill, my heels clicking along the floor, gaining the attention of several business men enjoying their late night meals. I could already hear and see the paparazzi waiting outside. Bringing myself to the sink of the hugely over-zealous bathroom, I checked my make up. I had hardly eaten a thing and still felt sick. When I returned, Harry held out my coat and put it over me. All those little things just made me fall in love with him even more. I wanted so badly to tell him. I wanted so badly to share what was happening to both of us, and I knew as the days went on it was getting worse and worse that I wasn’t telling him. Harry gripped my hand, leading us out.

The paparazzi swarmed as they usually did. Some were ridiculously close to us. Some security ushered them back and we got into Harry’s car. Relief washed over me.

“Did you enjoy that? We haven’t done anything like that in a long time. We should do it more often.” Harry smiled and leaned across to place his hand on my leg.
“I did enjoy it.” I paused. No. The car ride home wasn’t the right time either. “Um, when are you leaving to Paris?"

Harry scratched his head, checking his right mirror absent-mindedly and turning a corner. “I think it’s Friday,” He said. “I can ask Simon if I could bring you if you want..”
“No, honesty” I swallowed, wanting nothing more. “It’s fine."

I had two days left to tell Harry that we were having (or not having) a baby. My stomach flipped.

---

“No,” Harry groaned. I sighed, peeling his arms from around my waist. “No, don’t go yet.”

He dug his face into the crevice of my shoulder and sighed happily as I fought to leave the bed.
“Come on!” I said. “I have to get ready to meet El.”
“Mfffmmhhhh” He mumbled, releasing me. “Please can we have sex first?” He opened one eyelid, testing his luck and I felt my heart race quicker. It had been five days since I had told Harry I was on my ‘imaginary period’ and I knew he would start asking questions. I bit my lip, wondering if I could brave another excuse.
“I don’t have time.”
“Annie! It’s been two weeks! I’m starting to think I’m unattractive.” A smirk played on his lips and he pulled me playfully. He brought his pink lips to meet mine, kissing tenderly as they usually did. For a minute, I felt the pit of my stomach fill with butterflies and kissed hungrily back. Harry smiled into the kiss, rolling on top of me.

My breath shortened as the kisses grew longer. Harry placed his firm hand on my rib cage, sliding it down, all the way to my hip. He paused, even slower bringing it over my navel and pushing up my t-shirt. He fought for entry to my underwear, snaking his long fingers around me. But feeling him down there was too much. I suddenly pushed him off and he looked at me in a serious way. I was speechless, for a minute. Harry was not finding this a joke any more. He was taking it to heart. He stood up, sighed, threw on his tee and paced out of the room.

I scorned myself, dropping my forehead into the grasp of my palm. I was acting so stranglely, and I knew he was picking up on it.

Originally I had needed time to filter what was going on with my body, and that’s fair enough not to tell your baby daddy for one or two days. It was now over five days, and I had no intention of telling him. I prodded at my stomach. I almost cursed in anger at my physical state, before remembering this was nobody else’s fault but mine. And maybe a little bit of Harry’s.

We didn’t speak for the rest of the morning. It wasn’t through want of trying. Harry basically ignored me. He was hurt, of course he would be. When does your girlfriend push you away? Especially when you’re Harry Styles.

---

“So, like, I’m doing this shake diet,” Eleanor chatted away, sipping green liquid up through her straw. I winced, it looked awful. “Because I dunno, I don’t really think I need to lose weight, but do you ever just feel like, so unhealthy? So anyway, I was telling Louis about it, and he-“
“Eleanor,” I said, seriously and loudly enough for only her to hear. She stared at me, not enjoying being interrupted. I looked down at my palms, and back to her.
“What?” She wasn’t snappy, but she was being frank enough. I stared at her.
“I really, really need to tell you something.” I took a deep breath. This shouldn’t have felt so easy compared to telling Harry. “You’re the only person I feel like I can tell,"

She stared back at me, starting to look worried.

“What is it Annie? Is it Harry?” She placed her hand on mine and I stared down at it. I never dreamed of saying what I was about to say at the age of twenty. I took the chance to compose myself, looking around at the sunny spring day that surrounded us. London was starting to warm up, and it was the first time we had dined outside this year. I snapped out of my thoughts when I realised El was still staring. I shook my head no.
“No, well, sort of..” I paused. “I still need to go to a doctor. But, well, I’m pretty certain."

Eleanor’s face started to pale.

“I’m pregnant.” I half mouthed-half whispered. She stared at me blankly.
“Is this a prank?” Her lips moved slowly.
“El, it’s not.” I hissed. “I haven’t told Harry. I haven’t told anyone.”
“Oh my fucking God Annie! Why haven’t you told him?” She exclaimed, frantically moving her hands.
“Shhh, Jesus!” I looked around sheepishly. “I can’t- I mean, I just haven’t.. I just can’t yet."

Eleanor was silent for another few minutes, looking at me in disbelief.

“That’s why you’re ignoring Lara, at the agency!” She said. “She’s been trying to call you every day!”
“How many fucking pregnant models do you know?” I snapped. Eleanor nodded apologetically.
“How do you think.. I mean, Harry, do you think he’ll.. be happy? Or, will he be like..” She looked away, and so did I. The thought of a negative reaction was too much for both of us. She looked at me again. “He’s not going to react badly, Annie. You’re all he wants in the world. He told Louis he was going to marry you, one day."

I smiled with as much hope as I could give. He really said that? Eleanor and I were both silent for minutes longer, her taking in the information, and me taking in the fact that by telling someone, this was now all very real.

Notes

THANKS! for all the feedback :)