Things I Can, Things I Can’t

When I woke up, Harry had his back to me, with only a towel around his waist. We had arrived in Cheshire early evening, and I was so beat from the journey I had pretty much just said hello to Anne, Gemma, and Harry’s step-father Robin, and come straight to bed.

Harry was right with his predictions, his family where more than welcoming and didn’t make a fuss of me. They definitely didn’t make this, whatever it was between Harry and I, awkward. There was something so homely about this place. I had always lived in Central London and although it wasn’t the environment I was used to, I loved the countryside of Holmes Chapel immediately. It was the type of place where the kettle was always boiled, there was loads of food in the fridge, and a fire lit in the living room. I couldn’t imagine how rehabilitating it was for Harry, who was more used to sleeping in moving vehicles and hotel rooms.

“Good Evening, Miss James.” Harry said, catching my eyes in the mirror. “You don’t have to come to the pub, babe. Not if you’re tired. Gemma’s staying in."

I shook my head, sitting up and squinting as my eyes adjusted to the light. I held my hand out to Harry and he joined me in the bed, his wet hair tickling my shoulder when he pulled me back down.

“How long until we go to the pub?” I said, coyly. Harry got what I meant immediately and proceeded to lose his towel, with a wicked grin on his face.

“We can make time.” He said.

* * *

The pub was a lot like Harry’s house. Homely. The whole village was, really - everybody knew Harry. But not just as Harry from One Direction, it was more like Harry from Holmes Chapel. All of his school friends, or the ones I met, were genuine, down to earth people just like anyone else my age. They weren’t overly interested in me, and I was thankful for it.

Harry had a lot to drink, and although his alcohol breath and bleary eyes were a bit annoying, I was happy to see him back in his element. It gave me a whole new insight into his character, and honestly I fell for him a little bit more that night.

It wasn’t until I woke up on Christmas morning, with a cup of tea made by Harry himself, that I remembered how much fun we had together, just us two. I suppose we were always used to being in large groups, and spending time alone made me remember the nights we used to spend in our hotel rooms, when everything first happened with Will..

Christmas Day was perfect. I couldn’t have asked for more. Harry had sneakily bought me a present the day before, when he went to run some errands. Naturally, I felt terrible because I had nothing to give him or his family. Of course, being Harry the present was a ridiculously over extravagant gesture, a gorgeous Cartier bangle, something I knew costed over £2,000. I knew he was probably one of the richest 19 year olds on the planet, but I still held the value of money closely. He assured me that having me there with them was enough and I should look at the .present and not it’s price tag because it was irrelevant.

Anne made the best dinner I had probably ever had. The conversation flowed easily between all of us.

“We should take Annie for a walk by the railway bridge tomorrow, Harry. It’s probably the most interesting thing we can show her from Holmes Chapel.” Anne smiled at me, taking a sip from her wine glass.
“That would be nice. We’ll all go.” Harry’s step-father said.
Harry’s phone started to ring and he looked around the table apologetically. “Do you mind Mum?"

Anne shook her head and motioned for him to leave the table.

“Two seconds.” He mumbled down at me, gently touching my shoulder with his thin fingers. I nodded and he left the dining room.
“I’m so in love with my ring.” Gemma stated, admiring it while she set her fork down. “I’m so shocked that Harry actually chose it."
“I’d be lucky to get a box of mouldy chocolates from my brother.” I said, and we both laughed.

It seemed quite a while before Harry returned to the room, and when he did his face was stern, irritated, and disheartened. I placed my palm on his knee while everyone was in conversation.

“Everything okay?” I said, loud enough for only him to hear.

He gave a small nod, not looking at me as he took a sip of his beer. I shrugged it off, putting it down to some sort of work stress. But when his mood didn’t improve by the time it was time to go to bed, I was worrying. What had Lou said to him?

It wasn’t until Harry slid into his bed next to me after brushing his teeth that I brought it up again.

“Hey you,” I said, placing my head on my fist and turning on my side to look at him. “What’s wrong? What did Lou say earlier?"

Harry gave a forced smile and then looked straight back up at the ceiling. He exhaled loudly. He looked as if he was going to speak, but only shook his head and looked back at me.

“What if we were split up for a while?"

He may as well have been speaking in riddles because I didn’t have a clue what he was getting at.

“Harry?” I said, becoming irritated. “Will you just tell me what’s wrong with you?”

He sighed and turned onto his stomach, with his head facing me. And I knew then it was going to be bad.

“It’s not good news."

I searched his face for any other kind of emotion, or hint, but there was none.

“It’s Lou.” He sighed. “It’s not even my place to tell you this.. she was going to drive over from her mum’s house tomorrow and speak to you, like, explain."

I gave him a look that prompted him.

Harry’s curls had fallen throughout the day, and were just a messy heap pushed out of his face. His green eyes were tired and red. “Well,” He continued, “You know Lou has a little girl, you know her and Tom work hard to provide for her.. well, it’s becoming a bit different just living on Tom’s income, Annie. So.. Lou’s going to have to take her job back."

I just stared at him, even though he had told me that I still didn’t really get the big deal. I had never thought of this job as permanent, hell, I was lucky to have it anyway.

Harry saw my perplexed look, and looked down at his fingers. “Well, that means.. when the tour starts again, and we all fly to the US dates.. You won’t be coming with us."

Now I was getting it.

“I offered Lou some money, but she is one of the proudest people I’ve ever met. She won’t take it from me. She said she’s just realised that maybe she didn’t need enough time as she thought. Just a few weeks away to sort things out.. and now, she needs her job back Annie."

I stared at him blankly. I was silent for a while. I could tell Harry was hoping he wouldn’t have to talk much more.

“So you would be away for three months, is what you’re saying.” I said, finally understanding. “We wouldn’t see each other for three months."
“Annie, I’m gutted. I’m trying so hard to spend as much time as possible with you to get you to open up to me, and now this is gonna happen. Nobody is more upset than I am.” His voice was filled with sadness. “Of course, Lou has a job, and she has every right to it. But I so don’t want to leave you here for three months without me."

I didn’t even reply to him, I just collapsed onto my back. “It can’t be helped,” I said, after some reflection. “It’s sad but, what can I do. You’re right. It is her job.”
“I leave New Years Day.” He stated. There was another pause of reflection.
“So soon, Harry.” I sighed, my voice shaking. Three months? Who would I talk to? Who would I even hang out with? Harry was my rock..

He nodded, and pushed my hair out of my face.

“Try and get some sleep. We can talk in the morning.” He was tired, I could tell. “I know I’m biased but, I really think you should think about waiting. I know I’m biased, slightly.. but.."

I gave the strongest little laugh I could give, but it still sounded downbeat. Harry kissed my head and turned out the lamp. I didn’t sleep for hours that night.

Notes

spanner in the works! Vote/Sub/Comm please :) HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!