Lana's POV

"Do you need anything? I'm going to run out to the store," Eleanor calls to me. I can hear her fishing through the bowl for her keys.

"No, I don't think so," I call back, not looking up from my books.

"I might do a coffee run!"

"Oh, then I want a latte!"

She laughs and I hear the door open and close. Eleanor and I both got into our first choices at the University of London, so we decided to go together and get a place. Things ended up being a little more complicated than I expected, but we managed alright. My dad pays for our apartment and we cover the rest. I still have some money left over from what my mom had given me years ago, so I use it sparingly. We're both almost done our second years, and have a part time job at a coffee shop down the road from our apartment building. It was easy, and it paid for the things my dad wouldn't. El got money every month from her parents, so to be honest we had a pretty easy time providing for ourselves. Except when El went on her mini shopping sprees.

I ended up getting into the teaching program here. I never imagined that this is what I would be studying, but here I am. There was one conversation that made up my mind. As I was making the decision I couldn't get those words out of my head.

I can imagine you being perfect for teaching little kids. You're so...patient. And kind.

That voice haunted me. Every day and night, awake or asleep, it was the only voice I hear. His voice. The boy I loved.

The boy who broke my heart.

That morning I woke up to an empty bed, I had no idea what was about to happen to me. When I finally figured out that he was gone, for good, I totally shut down. I couldn't eat or sleep or function. I practically got kicked out of school for being gone so much. I just couldn't believe he would do that to me. I thought he loved me. Even when Niall explained that it was for my own good, I just couldn't believe it. He was everything to me. My forever. And he was just gone.

It's been two years and I still feel like crying when I think about him. And it's really hard not to think about him. If it wasn't for the bracelet on my wrist reminding me of him, he would be like a ghost. One minute he was there, saying all the things I wanted to hear. The next he was gone. Just vanished without a word. Except that fucking letter. Who does that?

Ever hear the saying 'it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all'? Well whoever came up with that obviously never had a broken heart. Because that's absolute bull shit.

I want to see him. I want him to know how much he's hurt me, how much I wish I'd never met him or let him into my life. Because now I'm miserable. Utterly and completely miserable.

And the worst part is, I still love him.

I think I always will.

Notes

again, super short. just want to get everyone caught up and their lives before i dive into the story.

let me know what you think! comments are welcome, give me ideas! what do you want to see happen? what do you not want to see?

tell me please :)