Claire's POV

I sit on the top of the kitchen counter as men with muscles bigger than my entire body carry boxes and boxes out of my moms house. My dad wasted no time having people come in, pack up mine and her things and either sell them or move them into his house... my new permanent home. I don't know what I expected, I guess I just didn't plan to never come back to this place.

It's the first week of November now, exactly 11 days since she passed away. I haven't been to school since, but I have convinced everyone I'm fine and just a little nervous to go back. Inside of me there is a dark sleepless monster that has been growing and growing since she passed, making me feel miserable and completely alone. There are people here all the time, friends and family members but I can't rid the feeling of empty that is coursing through my veins.

"Claire?" A voice snaps me out of my distant mind. I look backwards at Alex and Mark who are both standing there with suitcases and frowns, jabbing an imaginary dagger through my stomach.

"You're leaving?" I ask and they both nod slowly, making their way over to me.

"Are you going to be alright without us? We can stay a few more days just to be sure that--" Mark starts to suggest, but I interject.

"Honestly, I'm ok! I think I'm gonna go in school today." I smile, and their eyes go wide. Alex eyes me up and down with a slight chuckle, admiring my bed hair and messy outfit choice.

"Are you sure about school? Why don't you go back tomorrow or in a couple more days." Alex says with the smallest smile. I roll my eyes and throw my arms around both of them, pulling them close.

"I love that you guys are so sweet and caring, but you have to get back to your jobs! Alex you have a bar to run and Mark, those kids aren't going to fail themselves." I wink, and they both start laughing. The sound of their laughter fills my lungs with the slightest bit of hope for better days. These two are so strong and are doing so well with the loss, I admire them greatly for it.

"We love you, Claire." Mark smiles, and they each pull me in for one last individual hug.

After we repeat our goodbyes and hug a few more times, they finally exit and leave me to myself. I look over at the clock and notice that it's only nine o'clock... I can still make a few hours of classes if I really wanted to go in. Do I want to go in and face all the apologetic and pity faces from my classmates? No, hell no. But do I want to go in and see Zayn for the first time in 10 days? Um, yes.

I rush past all the moving men and hop in the shower, washing my mangy hair and smelly body as fast as I can. The thought of seeing Zayn after 10 days excites me so much. Sure we've texted and talked on the phone almost every day and night, but seeing him and facing him to say the words 'I love you' in person will never get old. Ever.

Quickly, I get dressedin something that will make hopefully a strong comeback but not look to try hardish. A sweater, cuffed jeans, high pony tail and slippers is casual, right? If not, I don't give a fuck.

After applying make up and getting all my books together from my very empty bedroom I collide into someone in the hallway, my father.

"Where are you going Clairebear?" He asks with a hopeful smile on his face.

"School." I reply dully, shoving past him. I don't have time for him, not after the way he neglected my mother's passing by bringing a girlfriend to her funeral. It was his is ex wife's funeral and he brings a blonde bimbo to show off. How the hell is that supposed to be taken? Not lightly, it's not taken lightly at all and I am no where near over it. Plus, he's here moving out our things as soon as possible, taking charge and being annoying. I'm just done with him at this point.

---

Pulling up into the school parking lot, an overwhelming rush of nerves flashes over me and the dark clouded monster inside surpasses the rest of my feelings. My mom is constantly on my mind all the time and I still haven't dealt with those emotions, I'm afraid to. I pushed them so far back so that when they return, I won't even know how to respond. I have to do this though, you have to get back at it eventually.

I stepped inside the administration office to sign myself in late, and already the sympathetic eyes and flashes of guilt are geared into drive by faculty.

"Sorry I'm late." I smile, signing my name in under the list of other students' names that came in late.

"Don't be sorry, dear." The one at the front desk smiles at me, catching me off guard. I want to laugh at her kind gesture, that was one of the few kind things I have ever seen her do.

"What period is it? I haven't been here for a few days and--"

"You have class with Mr. Tomlinson now, dear. Then lunch, and then study hall with Miss. Edwards." She answers my question, and I nod heading out and down the hall. I'm slightly bummed that I missed Harry or Zayn's classes, but if anyone is going to cheer me up in the slightest it's Lo-- Mr. Tomlinson.

I make my way down the hallway, to Mr. Tomlinson's room and open the door. Almost like a movie when a new student walks into the room late, all eyes are on me. I watch as Louis' expression goes from laughing to dead serious in the matter of seconds.

"Sorry I'm late Mr. Tomlinson." I whisper, taking the only seat left in the room which just happens to be next to myfavoriteperson, Anna. To be honest I didn't even know she was in this class and I really hope she doesn't bug me today, that's the last thing I need.

"It's alright, love." Louis smiles at me, then returns his attention back to the board. I look over at Anna who is already giving me a sympathetic smile and I can help but roll my eyes.

"Anna, stop staring at me." I murmur to her and I immediately see the embarrassment flush through her face.


"I'm sorry, Claire... About everything." She whispers, and I nod refusing to look back at her.

"Me too," I sigh, turning all my attention to Louis writing down pointless shit on the board. Today is going to be a long day, and it's already half way over.

---

"You look great though, I mean seriously. Did you dye your hair?" Cassidy gushes as we walk to study hall. I can't help but smile at my best friend who has been doing everything in her power from lunch on to distract me from everyone's heartfelt apologies and pointing and whispering.

"It's called showering." I snort as we both walk inside Miss. Edwards' classroom. I've actually started liking her ever since she came to my mom's funeral... She means well.

"Good afternoon ladies!" She smiles as enter the room. "How are you doing, love?" She asks me with a genuine smile on her face.

"I'm doing really well." I smile back, and take my seat next to Cassidy. She fills me in on anything and everything she can possibly tell me, starting with how Luke is still in love with her and moving into why she doesn't think she and Liam will work out.

"He's just old, you know? He hasn't even looked at me since the night at your house." She sighs, applying an unnecessary amount of lip balm to her lips.

"That's cause you kissed Harry when you were supposed to kiss Liam." I chuckle, pointing out the obvious.

"Yeah... I don't know. Do you think I have a chance?" She asks, making me laugh again.

"You have as good as a chance as anyone." I lie, knowing that Liam probably won't want anything to do with her now. I mean she kissed his friend just as he was warming up to her... it was wrong!

"Yeah... What about the blonde one, he's cute." She suggests, and I shake my head at her.

"You're absolutely insane." I laugh, and she shakes her head as if I'm telling her a lie.

As study hall ticks on, I try and get as much work as possible completed. I've missed around 7 school days and I seriously cannot take another one, I'll be almost an entire chapter behind. Extra help is going to be a bitch and my only relief is that Zayn will most likely not force me to make up any of my missed work.

"Are you going to see Zayn?" Cassidy smiles at me as the bell rings and we exit the classroom. A smile creeps onto my face and I nod almost immediately.

"Yes, he doesn't even know I'm here so I'm gonna surprise him." I giggle, imagining his face when I open the art room door and greet him with a big kiss... Priceless.

"First I have to drop off these math assignments." I sigh, stalking off away from Cassidy and towards Mr. Styles' room. When I get inside, he looks incredibly shocked to see me.

"Claire, you're back?" He asks, and I nod. "I've been worried about you, how are you?" He asks, closing the door and gesturing for me to sit next to him.

"I'm alright, thanks." I smile, but of course I can tell he sees past it. "I mean I'm hanging in there." I admit more truthfully.

"If you ever want to talk, my door is always open... Here or outside of school." He chuckles, and I nod. "In fact, why don't you take my number? For emergencies like last time?" He says sincerely, writing it down on a post it and handing it to me. I'm honestly so grateful to have a friend like him.

"Thanks, Harry. Seriously, thank you." I whisper, sliding the paper into my pocket. "I have my missed work here.... not that any of it's right, but it's complete." I place a few pieces of notebook paper on his lap beside me. He holds it up to his face and examines it for a moment, then releases a small chuckle.

"Do you want to stay for extra help? You need it." He smirks, and I push his shoulder and scoff as if I'm offended. For a moment I consider the distraction of schoolwork and Harry, but then I remember my plans of surprising Zayn.

"I would like to but Zayn doesn't know I'm at school and I want to--"

"Surprise him." Harry completes the sentence for me, and points towards the door. "Go on, be with your boyfriend." He huffs with a fake smile, but I don't challenge him. Instead, I rush out of the room and down the hall.

My heart is pumping so hard to see him I can barely contain the stupid smile that is plastered on my face. Should I have warned him that I was coming to school? No, I want to surprise him this is so cute.

I make my way to his room and take a deep breath. I don't know why I'm nervous to see him, I mean I love him and he loves me but this is always so nerve-wracking. I curl my fingers around the door handle and thrust it open to the darkness of an empty classroom. He's not even here? Just as I'm about to make my way out of the room, I hear the sound of paint brushes knocking over from the art closet, our art closet.

Without thinking, I make my way over to the closet and quickly pull open the door, revealing something that was sure to make me gasp for air.



"Claire? What on earth are you doing back here?!" Miss. Edwards gasps, buttoning up her top and wiping her mouth. I look at Zayn who has dumbfounded expression, pure shock is scribbled across is guilty as sin face.

"I was... I just..." I stutter, holding back tears. I lift my hands up to tie my hair back in a pony tail since my face is burning red, but they're far too shaky to do so. "I didn't mean to interrupt." I stammer, taking a few steps backward, my eyes refusing to leave Miss. Edwards' swollen lips. As I take another step back, I collide into a stack of paintings that are behind me.

"Fuck!" I shout, picking them up frantically. "I'm sorry, I didn't know, I..." I ramble, picking up all of the wet paintings that are now a mess on the floor.

"It's ok, Claire. Relax." Miss. Edwards laughs, coming towards me. My heart is plummeting into the ground quickly and I feel sick to my fucking stomach.

"Someone was bound to find out eventually." She adds. Eventually?

"How long have you guys been... you know, together?" I ask, afraid to hear the answer. I watch as Zayn slowly walks out of the art closet and looks at me with those dark and serious eyes, like he's trying to do some kind of bullshit mind control.

"Zayn and I? Well it all started when he offered to help me with my apartment so about a month?" She gushes, looking up at him with big bright eyes. Her words are physically hurting me right now, so much more than she realizes. Everything is coming down on me at once and I can hardly breathe from the suffocating truth that Zayn is a dirty, cheating liar.

"Perrie, enough." Zayn whispers to her. "Claire..."

"Have a good day, Mr. Malik and Miss. Edwards, I'm so happy for the two of you." I croak out, and sprint out of the classroom. I keep my head down and hold back the tears, storming down the hall way. Suddenly, something large stops me from my rushing and knocks me onto my ass.

"Claire, are you ok?" Harry's voice rings through my ears. I look up at him and release a small sob.

"Not really." I whisper, finally admitting it to not only him, but to myself.

I am most definitely not ok. That stupid dark monster that has been growing inside of me just found it's way to my outside and is now being shown to the whole entire world, starting with Harry.

"Do you want to talk about?" He asks, and for the first time in almost two weeks, I agree.

"Not here." I whisper, and he immediately gets the hint.

Within minutes I'm in my car, on the highway and following Harry back to his apartment. I pray to God he can fix me or at least let me release all the horrible, horrible emotions I've been feeling. My mommy isn't here to pick up the pieces or listen to me complain, and neither is the boyfriend who claimed to love me, and only me...

And the worst part is, I believed Zayn's every word.

Notes

I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO UPDATE FOR HOURS. THANK GOD I WROTE THIS ON A WORD DOC FIRST OR ELSE I PROB WOULDN'T UPDATE FOR SO LONG, THIS TOOK ME FOREVER.
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I'm really busy this week and most likely won't be able to update until next week... unless you get to 51 votes which is unlikely hahahaha.

please comment your reactions, this chapter took forever to post and i almost gave up lol.
comment & vote! xxxxxx